My trainer is a %$&^$*!!!

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Those of you who have known me since the early days at SPF may remember a certain Mr Penguin, who, in a nut shell, wanted to shag me senseless, despite the fact he had a girlfriend. Those of you who don't remember this...nevermind, he's only incidental to my current predicament.

Ok, the new job is cool and I really like it. Except for one thing - The person who is responsible for training me is basically going out of her way to be an uber bitch. Turn's out she's the penguins girlfriend (although not anymore). Apparently, the reason she's responsible for training me is because she always gets on so well with the newbies (something I'll have to take everyone elses word on because 4 weeks into the job and I want to gouge out her heart with a cheesegrater). However, she seems to be going out of her way to be a cow toward me. Everything I say and do is subject to her criticism, she even contradicts herself in order to make me look wrong. My other co workers have noticed it and are baffled, although I have tentatively suggested to them that it may have something to do with the penguin. My guess is that she thinks I did shag him, or that I somehow came between them...hell, maybe she's just got a chip on her shoulder because he lusted for me. I don't know, don't care, and think she's acting like a teenager with a complete lack of professionalism.

I'm the new chick though...can't make waves etc. How the hell do I get this uberskank off my back without drawing negative attention to myself in the workplace?

I've approached my manager about her, although not about her bitchiness - just to tell my manager that she wasn't actually giving me anything to do, nor training me in any way, shape or form. I was uncharacteristically tactful with how I put that though as I didn't want to come across as a stirer (I put it down to her being too busy). My manager responded by temporarily assigning another person to train me (who is really fabulous), but that's only short term...and then it's back to uberskank.

She is not my superior, we have the same title and job description, she's just been there a few years and there are certain aspects of the job that someone has to go through with me. Supposedly it takes about 4 - 5 months before I'm allowed to work unsupervised.

I've thought about approaching her for a word in private and trying to see if we could clear the air, POS advised me against this though as he suspects she would try to make me look neurotic if she felt threatened...I think he might be right as I believe the woman to be unstable.

Any suggestions?

[Billyman]

She must be destroyed.

[MAC]

her house or something in it is probably flammable, start there.

PS: I wish I had better advise but I don't think there's any singular thing you can do to change this gal's attittude about you. however, the new trainer working well with you is proof that it's not all your fault (except for the part where you distracted her bf to the point where she felt un-loved and un-appreciated and now harbors deep resentment against you.....you should work with my ex-wife and see if you have the same problem. ;))

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

It's bad karma for being a compulsive flirt :(. I'm a changed woman, really!!

Seriously though, if uberskank wants to get pissy at someone it should be the penguin. *I* wasn't the one running around panting after someone like a bitch on heat. Mind you, if she wasn't such a psychotic frigid cunt I doubt her partners attention would have strayed.

All of this reminds me of this one night when I was at a party that penguin was also invited to, it happened to be just down the road from where he lived with the uberskank...Sometime earlyish in the evening (about 3 beers o'clock) I got a text message from penguin on my cellphone that was rather strange and got me worried, so me and 3 of my friends grabbed a few beers and headed round to penguins to see wtf was up. We got there and uberskank had locked herself in the bathroom and was making these strange mewling noises (no shit...it wasn't quite a sob, it sounded more like a kitten drowning in milk...or a very put on, attention getting act, if you know what I mean). Penguin kept getting up every 5 minutes to see what was wrong and after about 1/2 an hour came out and told us that uberskank wanted us to leave...fair enough, it was her house and all, but talk about strange. I'm sure the woman has some fairly deeply rooted emotional problems. That makes her either very dangerous or easy pickings if I decide to let evil muffy come out and play, I'm just not sure which.

[skalie]

Muffs, I can't really offer any advice, but I can relate a story of what happenned to me as "new boy".

I managed, at my rather late stage of life to score a two year re-integration into the workforce type contract with a multi-media company well in with the education system over here, we do lots of heavily subsidised internet projects, international (as in euro) stuff, cd-rom's explaining best practices for future doctors etc., etc.

In short a hell of a good chance to learn from and with a bunch of hugely and diversely talented people.

First weeks were great, learn some 3D, etc, marvel at some of the stuff they have, and are, making.

Then comes my first project, the top project for the company as it means I get to work alongside my coach.

Or rather I get to work with his mate, a shortassed girl, who turns up late, who told me on the introduction day how it was possible to surf the web and play games while at work. (I'm there on minimum wage basis to try and end up with a decent future in two years, web surfing I can do in bed)

Anyways, things are going swimmingly, I'm using me amazing google skills to sort out possible problems, and identifying new ones that may occur making a totally Flash based website. Little things like what bandwidth are the end users going to have, what resolutions are we aiming for.

Then came the clash, there was talk about a new intranet message board. OK, I set up and had running a PhpBB within a few hours.

Oops, she had been delegated to upgrade that message board, and was hand progamming a "better" version. Total bollocks, a communication tool was needed, PhpBB was the best tool for the job at hand, use it. (It is still being used today, after a somewhat ludditish fear of trying something new, and this is a company who has the term "Innovation" in there name).

So she approaches me and starts to pick apart PhpBB. "You don't need that smiley folder" "Why not?" "Um, we don't have enough webspace" "Oh" "And you're trying to use something that came with your localhost ready baked php mysql package" "Er, no" and then which was probably unwise I remarked "I can't understand why you're being so difficult" Her reply was with a wierd hand movement "You'll see"............I later ask my coach "Is there a space problem on our server?" "No" "Oh, I think **** is trying to create problems that don't exist".

Then the clash crept into the project.

I was making a flash demo for the client, to let them see what was possible interactive wise for their project. It was a huge movie, a lot larger than needed because I was trying out new techniques, but the interactivity was working.

Over comes ****, "I decided to change the colour for the main frame" "Oh" (had been previously determined, had even showed her a trick how to use a colour board type style sheet to be used by one and all)

Her .."That's no problem all you have to is........." I have learned in my line of work DO NOT LET PEOPLE TRY AND TELL YOU THAT !!!

I let her watch how many movies and submovies I need to alter to accomodate her colour change, this can all be simplyfied at a later date using a style sheet, but I didn't know how to do that yet and it wasn't necessary for the demo. It wasn't too much work, but it interrupted the flow of what I had been up to.

The next fucking day she comes back and says "No the original colour is going to be the one" Ug. I say "OK, can you let me know what the final colours will be on Friday?" "But colours can always change" "Exactly, that's why I'll wait till then for the final colours". It was a concept she wouldn't or couldn't understand.

So here I am, trying to put 200% effort into a dream job, and it fells as if there is this little bitch trying to sabotage my efforts. The only reason I can think of is that I turn up on time and work, as opposed to spending more time in the courtyard sunning her self. I'm a threat to her comfort of lifestyle.

Problem number two, **** is well in with my coach and two other, they play cards on saturday nights together, holiday together, drink coffee together etc, etc, etc.

So I have a word with the geezer that's been there the longest, "Um, I've got a problem. I can't work alongside ****. I can forsee problems for the project".

Oops, next thing you know we're all in the big bosses office.

I'm asking to be kicked off the project.

Boss "Why?"

Me "Um, there's a star sign conflict".

Boss "Not good enough".

Me "Um, I've loss respect for ****'s decisions".

Boss "Not good enough, we're all adults here, live with it".

Shit, OK, back to work.

Then I mistakenly get a shaved head, after oiling the blades on your clippers replace the comb before commencing haircut

Comes to deadline day, I've been working the weekend to get things perfect.

I put the flash files on the server, I pretty proud of the finished product.

I relax, check my e-mail, I reciever an email form my host, it appearred that the father of the girl who I had made a website for had forgotten he had paid for the webspace and had done a chargeback. I had done the website for her free in exchange for the hosting. Several sites, future job opportunities and a forum were risking a premature death.

I wander over to tell my friend who knew the whole story about the website (how I did for free never got any thanks yadda yadda) then notice **** fucking up my flash project. There input forms and text flying all over the place.

"What are you doing ??"

"The resolution of the main frame had changed, I'm just adjusting it"

For fucks sake, for the amount of time it would have taken to mention that to me, now buttons and rollovers aren't working anymore, everthings acting way weird, still it's a couple of hours before the deadline, I'll be able to cover it. A couple of extra hours work, but we'll still make the deadline. Grrrrrr.

Her..."But I started changing it, because I thought you had a back-up"

Me...." Yes but you are altering the version that has been presented for the project"

(She was using my source files to screw up my finished product, might have been a little more considerate to do that on her own hard drive as opposed to on the network)

So I head back to my desk, fire off a rather heated e-mail to the host along the lines of "I can't believe this has happenned, I will sort it out as quickly as possible, and don't personally mind if you kick her site of the web in the interim".

Was in the middle of sorting it, when my boss appears, "Er, come with me".

There is **** and my coach in his office.

****.. "I feel intimidated"

Oh for fucks sake, here's me, Doc Martins, shaven head, missing teeth, getting called on intimidation on the work floor.

This is before I'd even signed my contract.

I posted over at the Asylum questioning the seriousness of that charge, fortunately Cruise who I knew has a huge amount of experience in "working" saw the post and mention that in was generally a fireable offense. (thanks again pal)

So that night I wrote a two page letter of explaination, apologising for how I had brought outside influences on to the work floor, and how if the boss could imagine it would ever happen again I would be perfectly understanding if he removed me from his workforce.

I sent copies to everyone involved and included a rant that I had posted on a web forum about the free website revoked payment for hosting issue.

A half hour after he read the letter the boss came to me and said "case closed"

Two days later I recieved my signed contract.

What can I say Muffs?

Tread very very lightly.

P.S. The hosting was eventually revoked after a second chargeback.
P.P.S. I don't believe anyone read all that, I certainly aren't intending to. The typo's shall remain as is.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

I read it all, now I'm worried :(. I don't think it's my personality that intimidates her though, I think it's a combination of grudge and her own insecurities - the other day in out weekly meeting the manager announced her intention to let me take over the legal reviews when I'm up to speed with the banal shite, which makes sense seeing as how I'm the only lawyer on the team. Uberskank replies "well you'd better make me manager then, I've got a commerce degree". I said "the person you are currently using to provide technical advice to legal problems has no background in legislation"...she says "well we all just pick it up as we go along, I'm not a dentist but I know enough about dentistry to do my job well, and I know enough about the law to handle my own reviews".

That may be so, but I wouldn't get her to fill my fucking teeth or represent me in court, skank. Anyway...she's showing stereotypical signs of feeling threatened within the workplace (as far as I can tell). She's going to create trouble for me isn't she?

[skalie]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
She's going to create trouble for me isn't she?

Sounds like it

I repeat that I have far to little experience in office politics to offer any worthwhile advice, hopefully Cruise will be along shortly, however.............

...........as a footnote to the chapter above.........

The big boss went temporarily over stressed and took the last six months off.

Meetings were had, tasks delegated.

The new intern, before he left, was his son.

The last meeting, which was about the future of the company, the son mention as a footnote, the group, or "office seating arrangements" as he put it.

The four immediately got defensive "no, I don't understand", "it's because we all smoke"

Those four just finished holidaying together in Denmark, they still play cards together every saturday night.

If, and that is the case, contracts are not to be renewed, you can be assured that those four will be the last ones standing.....

.......like I said tread lightly Muffs, make sure you don't let outside influences effect what happens on the workfloor.

In the meantime you will be winning the hearts and minds of your other co-workers, this will mean that the negative pressure from old skankie will have no other option than to ease off.

[Mudflap]

I don't miss being a manager too much.

[Cruise Director]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
My other co workers have noticed it and are baffled, although I have tentatively suggested to them that it may have something to do with the penguin.




This was a mistake. However,we will get to that in a minute.

Co workers will have clashes. It's just a matter of life. We can't all get along or that wouldn't make the talk around the water cooler very interesting at all, now would it? Even though this situation is unique for you, it has traits that are very common that your boss has to deal with every single day. Trust me.

Here's how to fix your situation:
1.) Go to your boss and be honest. Do not complain that the trainer is not giving you enough work to do or the training that you need. You need to reveal that there are issues from your personal life that happened concerning you and the trainer before she became your trainer. It is important to mention that it was before so that your boss realizes you are not participating in the office soap opera. You don't need to give him/her the gory details about the penguin but let them know that there is some previous personal contact that may hinder your sucessful training.

2.) Get your bosses expectations for training. Let them know that learning your job is your number one priority. Even if Satan is left to train you, you will walk out with a regimented training schedule equiped with timelines and benchmarks. This takes the personal spin out of it for Satan and she will have to train you using the same timeline. In fact, you should hope that Satan is left to train you as it will show your boss that you can be the bigger person and work with conflict. Conflict resolution is an asset that all managers love in an associate.

3.) Report back to your manager. Let him/her know how your training is going at regular intervals. Managers don't always have time to follow up with you one on one but poking your head through the office door to let them know you are "a-okay" is always a plus.

Now, let's get back to the "sin." You should NEVER NEVER NEVER discuss conflicts with coworkers. EVER. I cannot stress this enough. You need to take your problems up the ladder, never down or accross. Doing so creates the impression that you are in to the office politics or the star of the "soap opera" we talked about. Discussing issues like this can let Satan turn the tables on you and claim to the managers that you are creating a hostile work environment for her and undermining her ability to train you properly. "Hostile work environment" is the catch-phrase of the H.R. department and they love to smack people down for it.

You will always have to work with, work for, or manage somebody you don't personally like. You need to take the "personal" out of it and make it business as usual. If the conflict affects thw work, then you correct the problem through the proper channels.

-Cruise

[Large Filipino]

Interesting post,but y'all fail to mention the most obvious answer to this problem.
Muff,hun. Sleep with this co worker and send me the video.
Y'may even get a raise!
Problem solved. :)

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Originally posted by Cruise Director

Now, let's get back to the "sin." You should NEVER NEVER NEVER discuss conflicts with coworkers. EVER.
Yes Sir! I shall cease all and any talk about the skank with my coworkers immediately!!! :)

Thanks for the advice Cruise. One question though - why is it a good idea to let my manager know that there is personal conflict their rather than just letting it look like the skank is being incompetent? Surely blaming it on past personal issues only makes me look like, as you pointed out, the queen of the office drama?....which is something I want to avoid altogether.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Originally posted by Large Filipino

Muff,hun. Sleep with this co worker and send me the video.
Y'may even get a raise!

eww...I like my woman to be both sexy and sane. I think I'll pass :).

On a plus note, it's snowing again today so no work, no skank, and I get paid for pissing around on the internet with you lot :D.

[Cruise Director]

Muff,

This woman has been a great trainer in the past and your boss has her in that position for a reason. When you go to your boss and tell him/her that your training is inadequate, it raises as many questions about you as it does about Satan. Letting the boss know that there is a conflict between the two of you clears those questions up and letting them know that the conflict did not happen at work let's them know that it's not office drama. It also shows that you recognize there is a problem and are willing to resolve it.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Ok...that makes sense. You are so wize! Thanks.

[Large Filipino]

But if ANYONE see's you going into the O'l bosses office,well YOU would be labeled as a snitch! That's the way it goes,eh?

My method takes BALLS but believe it or not,very effective. Sleep....no,kidding,Go right up to her in front of everyone and scream "I DID NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR PENGUIN,BITCH!!" And just walk away just before quitting time. By tomorrow,maybe she'll talk to you about that and maybe become friends. Remember,the crying baby get's the milk,and the bitchiest bitch get's the followers! usually.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

...and the penguin fuckers that get the padded cell :D

[Cruise Director]

Originally posted by Large Filipino
But if ANYONE see's you going into the O'l bosses office,well YOU would be labeled as a snitch! That's the way it goes,eh?



If you work in an environment where a closed door meeting with your boss means you are a "snitch" I suggest you immediately retire from said corporation and go work where there are adults.

You should never feel intimidated to have a sit down conversation with your boss.

[Large Filipino]

...still,there's always somebody out there willing to start a scandal,for to some,this is their form of entertainment.Sad but true.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

LF - I work for the government, if we start a scandal we'd get sacked on the spot.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

The situation went from bad to worse with the cow not only giving me a hard time but also outrightly dissenting to our team manager, who tried to manage the situation by issuing directives which were ignored and by eventually reassigning another trainer for me on a temporary basis and recently another one altogether on a permanent basis.

There were instances of work sabotage, outright bitchiness (on her behalf) and a complete lack of professionalism. On friday our team manager was away, after yet another verbal assault by this person (to which I came damn close to losing my cool altogether and becoming as unprofessional as her by telling her to go fuck herself) I contacted our acting team manager (who is a top guy that I get on really well with) and asking him how to approach the situation. He put me on to an advocate whom I told everything to. The advocate's eyes grew bigger and bigger as I told my tale and she marched straight into the big bosses office and told him what has been going on.

He was appalled but not together surprised, apparently the cow has been getting a few complaints about her lately, I'm not sure who from but I have my suspicions. Anyway, I'm getting contacted by senior management tomorrow and their shall be an outcome - I'm not sure what kind yet.

[MAC]

:o

*MAC thinks twice before fucking with muffy at werk*