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View Full Version : convenience vs. contentment


ms. bing
07-28-2004, 04:05 PM
every year about this time i get an itch to move into town. the thing that makes this year different is that i could potentially afford it now. there are some catches, though.

case for moving: everything i do is in tyler, which is about an hour from here. i make that drive every day with a 2 year old. i have heard the shrek song enough times to sing it in my sleep. she's normally pretty good, since she's used to it, but she gets carsick. i have to leave for school a full hour and a half before i have to be there in order to get to tyler, get her dropped off at daycare, and then get back over to the school and park. that means that for a 9am class i have to leave no later than 7:30am.
on the way home, once again i have to leave early. it's the same thing in reverse. if i leave whereever i am by 5:30pm (which happens alot when i work) then it will be about 7pm before i get home. then i have to pick up, cook dinner, get her bathed, myself bathed, and her in bed by 9:30, and if i have any homework to do i have to pray that she goes right to sleep. otherwise it will be a very, very late night. then turn around and get up at 6am in order to get everything done and leave in the morning.
gigantic pain in the ass.
financially this costs me, also. the amount of miles i put on my car is making the value drop very quickly. i will need to make some double payments in order to trade it in on something else in january and not end up owing on it anyway. i bought it last january with 48k miles. now it has 73k. i figure next january will be the longest i should want to keep it or else it will cross 100k into the no value zone. i have to fill up about twice a week. even in a very economical car, at todays prices here that's about $30 a week.
also, living with my dad has disqualified me for food stamps. he is a good guy who would never say anything, but we split the food bill between 50-50 and 70-30, depending on how much money i have. however, he makes too much money for me to keep them. i know what some people would say about govt handouts, but with the cost of non-food stuff i counted on the money i was getting in food stamps to make ends meet. now it's been gone since march, and i'm feeling it.

case for staying: dad keeps all the utilities paid. the mortgage is paid for, so i don't have to worry about splitting that with him or about the burden on him having to pay that and the bills. if it werent paid i would feel like i would have to split some utilities with him, since i do at least one load of laundry every day and most of it is mine and eva's. couple that with baths, tv, lights, etc. (i do pay my own phone bill) and it makes me and him very glad the mortgage is paid. it gives both of us some leeway i know i wouldn't have if i rented a place in town. we have a nice place with a big yard and it is all relatively safe. dad is here to fix things that break and keep the lawn mowed. our back back yard (the non-fenced part) is big enough to drive golf balls or run the dogs. there are bunnies and birds and walks in the woods. we are 15 minutes away from a nice lake with a cool beach. the ratio of good neighbors to bad is better than in the city, and there are stars and crickets at night. not to mention the fact that my dad helps me out so much with eva, and she loves him alot. i know they would miss each other. after her bath, she always wants grandpa to brush her hair (funny, when i was little i always wanted him to brush my hair instead of my mom). if we lived in town there would be alot less than that. and on weekends, everything i need is here. i can go to walmart, the grocery store, get gas, eat out, whatever within 10 or 15 minutes of driving.

so what should i do? i'm really torn. i have'nt done the figures yet, but while they can be helpful, some decisions cannot be made fiscally.
oh well, it'll pass.

abs0lutionCFH
07-28-2004, 08:42 PM
How much time do you have left in School? I'd say the time with her grandpa alone would be worth sticking it out. Grandpas are good for little girls. However independence is something that can be worth more than gold, and as someone within the same age range with you I find it comforting to be closer to the city. Especially since I'm here every single day. So ultimately, what I'm saying is, make up your own damned mind woman. :P

MuffyTheVampyreLayer
07-28-2004, 08:49 PM
I'd say having an extra 3 hours in your day is a really good incentive to move into town. 3 extra hours can make life a lot less stressful and a stressed mummy is a grumpy mummy! (Speaking from experience here :)). I live about a 20 minute walk from everything, I found an old shitty house that's cheap rent, has a decent yard, and nice sunny rooms. It's not the ritz but with a bit of creative decorating it does the trick. You could consider taking in a boarder - lots of people will pay extra to have their meals cooked and laundry done.
Before I moved closer to town I'd be very stressed both morning and evening about getting everything done on time, and I'd have to say my quality of life has improved by living in a more convenient location, even if you do have to pay a little more. In the weekend you could always invade Mac and his snakes :).
Good luck either way.

ms. bing
07-30-2004, 12:38 AM
independence is good, but all it means for me is having to mow my own yard. not like i go out much. but i do agree with muffy, a stressed mummy is a grumpy mummy!
one problem that is linguistic more than anything: in east texan "boarder" means "boyfriend". i'd rather eat my head than do someone else's laundry if they're not also putting out, and i don't care how much money they pay me!
i'm gonna stay here. i did crunch the numbers yesterday, and it makes more sense financially. i could afford to move into tyler, but it would put more strain on my finances that could also make for a stressed mommy.
its something that i think about roughly once a year, but until either my income goes up or expenses go down, i think i'll just stay here.

Escape Artist
08-03-2004, 12:29 AM
Well, if you really want to - move to outskirts of city. Cheaper, more accessible, etc. Don't know that you aren't already there.

I would quit worrying about the value of car, personally, just me, spare the flames dammit! :p

If it gets you from point a to point b reliably and is paid for, you're golden provided you keep it well maintained. What you spend on replacing parts for a semi-modern car will likely be vastly cheaper than replacing it altogether. I'd imagine either you or dad are capable of doing just about anything that needs to be done on it.

Call me crazy, but I think the most important aspects are removing/eliminating debt and paring down your expenditures until you have more leeway than you need. At that point the commute's no big deal aside from worrying about the water pump failing or having to pick up Finding Nemo for the kid. :)

Just a stupid thought, I reckon.

Mudflap
08-03-2004, 05:17 AM
Take good care of the car and don't worry about the resale value. Drive it till the chassis snaps from arthritis. Cars are piss poor investments and their value lies in their utility. If you can get it paid for and a few years of use out of it without a car payment, you're golden.

Eva + Grandpa = worth the extra hassle.

ms. bing
08-04-2004, 02:37 AM
i agree with both of you up to a point....
as many miles as i put on a car in a year it would die before i ever got it paid for. not to mention the convenience of having a warranty and roadside assistance plan when you have a small child with you. the best thing i can do, and what i plan to do since it looks like i'm gonna be staying here (the itch passed) is make a few months of double payments and trade it in before it crosses 90,000 miles. that will be about january. get something a little newer with about the same number of miles this one had when i got it and repeat the process all over again. i drive too many rural miles every day to have to worry about being stuck out on a road somewhere trying to get ahold of dad or mac.

Large Filipino
08-07-2004, 04:42 AM
Ever thought about looking for a job closer to home? Sounds like you won't save a dime if you move out. There's no shame in staying with parents anymore. A lot of them do this and eventually pay the parents back by keeping them away from nursing homes by taking care of them yourselves.
Another suggestion is that you mentioned the house is paid in full. Maybe dad may consider getting a newer house closer to town? Maybe even get some money back so dad can take a little vacation? Just thoughts.

Koliedrus
08-12-2004, 08:17 PM
How odd.

One of our cars decided to croak today.
Time to see if that "real job" is worth the investment.