the truth about internet photos

[MAC]

ok , many of you may have read this article about the world's largest snake (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=7&u=/nm/20031230/od_nm/snake_dc)

Ive read every article I could find...they are all reprints of the same AP story. they are all bullshit. Not one substantiated shred of proof that this snake is as big as they say. Not one official measurement by anyone except the snake keeper at the zoo and some javan official's declaration which tripled the parks tourism.

so I took all the pics and put them to scale. this is a beautiful animal who is probably 30 foot (that's big) but not anywhere NEAR 50'.

I posted this on my hotherp forum and finally ONEperson pointed out that its crap....to which he was told "you measure it" so I let loose with my deductions.

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I have yet to find any article anywhere with any zoologist or herpetologists affirmation of this snake's size. Only an "official" and the "snake keeper". Then consider that it "tripled the parks visitors" and the black-helicopter side of me kicks in.

the yahoo news says "The huge, dark-colored male snake has a diameter of 2.8 feet"

now look at the pic of the guy in the wftv link

http://www.wftv.com/news/2732086/detail.html

his forearm from elbow to wrist is the same scale length as the diameter of the snake at midbody. my forearm to wrist length is just less than 11" and I'm 6' tall, that would make this guy about 18' tall and should get him in the guiness book as well. it would also make that board its on 4' wide, 10" thick, and 8 feet off the ground.

I may be way off here but I'd sure like to see someone from guiness and a reputable zoologist with about 10 helpers measuring this animal. But I bet snopes.com clears this up first.

I hope its true, because if it is I have a 6' southern copperhead that should be worth about $10,000. ;)

-MAC-

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I ended with the comment about having a 6' copperhead. that's joke because copperheads simply do not attain 1/2 that size but I ALWAYS have ppl telling me they saw one.

and some one actually emailed me wanting pictures of this snake

so......

http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/big%20copperhead/hoax02.jpg

I have posted this 2 other places and no one yet has called bullshit.

I am beginning to be disappointed in ppl's affinity for crap.
I like a good tall tale as much as anyone but for god's sake ppl....

lets sort something out ok....

real
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/rockfeedeing.jpg

fake
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/therealstory.jpg

real
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/hangchild2.jpg

fake
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/gwbugles.jpg

real short
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/MOOSE5.JPG

really my gramma
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/GRAMMA01.JPG

fake (but politically accurate)
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/HITLER_C.JPG

real...raver
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/dion.jpg

fake....but don't we wish
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/IMAGE004_1.JPG

really......appealing
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/Latex316.jpg

really heroic and in the end, stupid
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/TIANANMEN.JPG

fake.....but funny
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/bert2.jpg

really my hair 10 years ago
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/beerfridge01.jpg

real...er...fake...er...you decide
http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/dubya02.jpg

so I hope this clears things up

BTW: 10 MAC points to anyone who can pick out the one SLH made (Jed, no hints!!)

[Mudflap]

I'm guessing that Jed's contribution is Hitler & Bert.

[SatansLeftHand]

ooh! ooh! I KNOW!

[MAC]

you ppl suck!

but.....not as bad as the ppl on my herp forum who finally had to ask "is that real?"

and the guy who emailed me for pictures sent me back a very thinnly worded email that leads me to believe he doesn't know if its real or not either.

and what's worse is I KNOW that forum is filled with experienced ppl who KNOW that is fake and not one of them spoke up.
they sit in their own little microcosim of elitest knowledge like every thing they've learned is what will win the big game for them. someone always wants to win even when there's no contest.

sigh

why do we want to believe in things that we know aren't real and why do we deny things are real just because we haven't seen them?

that's a paradigm of humanity I guess

my real problem is that we are so used to fake things in media formats that we do not question them any more than we question the personal agendas of elected officials.

so be it

[Koliedrus]

Does that mean that Deadcow is out of the race?

[Koliedrus]

Dammit! I can't find it online but once upon a time...

I was watching an episode of Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World. The segment included a pic taken from a helicopter (Viet Nam if I recall) of a snake with a head the size of a horse's.

Is that really your hair up there?

[MAC]

when I TELL you ppl I miss my afro I MEAN it goddam it!!

[Mudflap]

Which one was Jed's picture? You must tell us!

Die MAC!!! :rl:

:die:

[SimpleSimon]

I know - I ain't telling.

[Koliedrus]

#3

[SimpleSimon]

#3, as Mac stated, is real. Guess again.

[Billyman]

#5

[Uberwonder]

You were off by about 9 feet on the python but good guess.
If you want a 6' copperhead, you have to feed it dogs.

[SimpleSimon]

Originally posted by Billyman
#5

Wrong

[Billyman]

dang

[Billyman]

Well the only ones really left are the very last one (that could have been made by just about anyone) and the very first one.

The copperhead in the bathtub looks a bit large and the shadowing is off a little and the wrong shade in comparison to the rest of it all. Sooooo, I’m going with the bathing snake.

[SimpleSimon]

Hmm. Well, I started counting with the snake swallowing the antelope as #1. And no, it ain't the bathing beauty.

[Torque]

#6

[SimpleSimon]

#6, by my count, is Mac's g'ma. She is real.

[Torque]

Oh, by my count then. The very short AR-15. it just looks like something slh would be interested in. I knew mac's gramma was real.

[MAC]

you ppl suck!

http://mac.cookingwithdiesel.net/images/crap/HITLER_C.JPG

[Mudflap]

You swallow, you twat wrenching mullet monkey humping fagmo.


:p

[Billyman]

Well then hat's off to SLH.

Nice work dude.

[MAC]

silly mudflap,
-----------------
#wota.asylumnation.200440112.log

[10:03p] [MAC|done] shut your twat wrenchin monky mullet humpin ass, mudcrack
-------------------

you 10053, the_game_boy
I keep all my insults logged now so you can't steal them.

infact,
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[10:04p] [Lupin-III] "twat wrenchin monky mullet humpin ass" <-- that is the newest addition to the script's library of insults
------------------------

I feel I've some how, made the internet a better place.

and here's the linXor (http://www.thehypertribe.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4657&highlight=pictures) to when Jed made that gif.
.
.
.
.
.
.
so class, today we've learned the proper usage of the word "yoink"
and that mudflap is a twat wrenching monkey mullet humper

[Mudflap]

Only a cunt biscuit would keep irc logs.

[mute]

your gramma f'ing rules!