ms. bing
12-26-2003, 06:56 AM
i have found myself in a very unpleasant, unsatisfying and unattractive portion of my life. i feel very fortunate to now have enough years and experience behind me to recognize it for what it is and just deal with it day to day.
dark, ironic and humorous. and i can't deal with it any other way.
tonight eva was throwing a pair of temper tantrums that i'm pretty sure made it into some book of toddler records. dad was mad that the tantrum was going on outside of the room in which he was trying to relax after all the holiday hubbub. i didn't know what to do, hell, i've never done this before. she's been acting up more since i got this job that i hate because the hours suck and i'm away from her more than either of us would like. i didn't know what to do. so i did the most unusual thing i could think of. i carried her out to the truck in her pajamas at 9:30 pm and we went riding around the countryside singing christmas carols and looking at christmas lights.
i think desperate, unpleasant and darkly ironic and humorous times call for desperate, sometimes unpleasant and darkly ironic and humorous measures. on monday i plan on approaching said job in the same manner. maybe i'll get lucky and they'll fire me.
it just seems that logic has no place in my life right now. every time i try to apply it, it fails and i have to remember the time in which i am living.
such as when my boss throws in my face that she signs my paycheck; something she likes to do on a regular basis when she has asked me to do four things at once and is upset because i didn't pick up the esp signals telling me which she really wanted done. the funny thing is she doesn't sign my paycheck, her husband does, and he never asks me to do anything. he gets mad at me because he has to do his job. which makes even less sense, but oh well.
these are strange times in which i am living, but i have to laugh when i think about how quickly they will change. perhaps that's the most unusual and illogical thing of all.
i have to laugh. and lately i've been laughing like the village idiot.
dark, ironic and humorous. and i can't deal with it any other way.
tonight eva was throwing a pair of temper tantrums that i'm pretty sure made it into some book of toddler records. dad was mad that the tantrum was going on outside of the room in which he was trying to relax after all the holiday hubbub. i didn't know what to do, hell, i've never done this before. she's been acting up more since i got this job that i hate because the hours suck and i'm away from her more than either of us would like. i didn't know what to do. so i did the most unusual thing i could think of. i carried her out to the truck in her pajamas at 9:30 pm and we went riding around the countryside singing christmas carols and looking at christmas lights.
i think desperate, unpleasant and darkly ironic and humorous times call for desperate, sometimes unpleasant and darkly ironic and humorous measures. on monday i plan on approaching said job in the same manner. maybe i'll get lucky and they'll fire me.
it just seems that logic has no place in my life right now. every time i try to apply it, it fails and i have to remember the time in which i am living.
such as when my boss throws in my face that she signs my paycheck; something she likes to do on a regular basis when she has asked me to do four things at once and is upset because i didn't pick up the esp signals telling me which she really wanted done. the funny thing is she doesn't sign my paycheck, her husband does, and he never asks me to do anything. he gets mad at me because he has to do his job. which makes even less sense, but oh well.
these are strange times in which i am living, but i have to laugh when i think about how quickly they will change. perhaps that's the most unusual and illogical thing of all.
i have to laugh. and lately i've been laughing like the village idiot.