MAC
12-10-2003, 06:08 PM
It’s the holiday season again and all through the house, the radio stations are playing the greatest holiday music ever recorded in modern history. Songs like “Last Christmas” by George Michaels, “Rocking around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee, and “jingle bells” by a bunch of dogs. But the most moving of these songs is that ole timey classic "Do they know its Christmas" by the superstars of Live Aid.
You youngsters don't recall this cause it was going on when you where 2 years old but the Ethiopians have been starving in their country for several thousand years because their ancient kings cut down all the trees and refused to accept Christ as the son of God.
Now I can’t tell their story without quoting one of the greatest comedians of our time, Sam Kineson, who once pointed out that they "live in a fucking desert". That’s not exactly their problem though. Actually their country is a landlocked, deforested, over grazed, soil eroded, desertificated high plateau with central mountain range, prone to earthquakes, volcanic activity and torrential topographically isolated monsoons….oh and droughts…lots and lots of droughts. So, as all things from the 80’s, it was “grody”.
Maybe it was industrially driven global warming or an evil plot using satellites to alter earth's weather but Ethiopia (especially the northern part of the country) had no rain and they had no crops and they had no infrastructure and they had no parachute pants.
But they DID have a wonderful military government ruled by the wise, kind, and considerate President fuhrer general Mengista.
He loved his people so much that after only 15 years of starvation in the north part of his country he decided to make over ½ million of the most malnourished walk hundreds of miles to the south part of the country where the native people where only just beginning to starve. This created a level playing field for famine and made it easier for news reporters from the US and Europe to get pictures without having to drive far from the airport. Ole Mengista, he was a sharp guy.
Now, Old King Ronald sat on the throne in the US and he decreed that we should help “those skinny colored folks" so he sent the fiercest units of the red cross to distribute tons of sacked rice and grain….to the evil militant government….who refused to distribute it because of the Ethiopian rebels……who’s fires where further fueled by the fact they where starving…This upset Prince George I so much that several years later he bombed Kuwait to teach everyone in "that part of the world" a thing or two. But I digress.
In 1985 Mother Teresa stepped in and found sad unhappy people dieing in camps. Eight months later she found happy smiling people dieing in camps. So with countries like Canada and the United Nations (that’s a country, right?) sending millions of dollars and food it was time for some real progress to be made.
History has shown us that when something must be done only one group of people has the power and compassion to do it: pop musicians. And in the history of mankind there has never been a more noble and dedicated group of musicians than during the early 1980’s. Bob Dylan, Madonna, Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson, and Lionel Richie where all dating one another at the time so it made sense that they round up some other musicians and put on a concert. They got the Who back together (Pete Townsend and John Entwhistle didn’t know they had broken up until Mick Jagger Sobered them up to the facts) And Oh what a concert it was. 1.5 billion homes watched (the people in those homes either wanted to have sex with Madonna and thought that Michael Jackson was “whiter than before”) The super stars made two hit songs “we are the world” and “do they know its Christmas” which together raised over $30,000,000 (that’s 20% of the gross for the new Christmas comedy “elf” so far)
The singing and the harmonizing and the Cindi Lauper haircuts to follow caused the oppressive military regime to fall and a new, more humane representative government to arise. Now the People’s Democratic Republic of Ethiopia lives on in the glorious splendor of a country founded in a barren wasteland, surrounded by hostile nations, depending on billions each year in foreign aid to feed the thin, broken, people who have a 10% infant death rate, a life expectancy of 42 years, and still “live in a fucking desert”
Yes, the Christmas of 1985 will always stand out in my mind as one of the greatest Christmases of my life.
God Bless us, every one.
sources:
http://www.towson.edu/polsci/irencyc/T9840217/test.htm
http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/et.html
You youngsters don't recall this cause it was going on when you where 2 years old but the Ethiopians have been starving in their country for several thousand years because their ancient kings cut down all the trees and refused to accept Christ as the son of God.
Now I can’t tell their story without quoting one of the greatest comedians of our time, Sam Kineson, who once pointed out that they "live in a fucking desert". That’s not exactly their problem though. Actually their country is a landlocked, deforested, over grazed, soil eroded, desertificated high plateau with central mountain range, prone to earthquakes, volcanic activity and torrential topographically isolated monsoons….oh and droughts…lots and lots of droughts. So, as all things from the 80’s, it was “grody”.
Maybe it was industrially driven global warming or an evil plot using satellites to alter earth's weather but Ethiopia (especially the northern part of the country) had no rain and they had no crops and they had no infrastructure and they had no parachute pants.
But they DID have a wonderful military government ruled by the wise, kind, and considerate President fuhrer general Mengista.
He loved his people so much that after only 15 years of starvation in the north part of his country he decided to make over ½ million of the most malnourished walk hundreds of miles to the south part of the country where the native people where only just beginning to starve. This created a level playing field for famine and made it easier for news reporters from the US and Europe to get pictures without having to drive far from the airport. Ole Mengista, he was a sharp guy.
Now, Old King Ronald sat on the throne in the US and he decreed that we should help “those skinny colored folks" so he sent the fiercest units of the red cross to distribute tons of sacked rice and grain….to the evil militant government….who refused to distribute it because of the Ethiopian rebels……who’s fires where further fueled by the fact they where starving…This upset Prince George I so much that several years later he bombed Kuwait to teach everyone in "that part of the world" a thing or two. But I digress.
In 1985 Mother Teresa stepped in and found sad unhappy people dieing in camps. Eight months later she found happy smiling people dieing in camps. So with countries like Canada and the United Nations (that’s a country, right?) sending millions of dollars and food it was time for some real progress to be made.
History has shown us that when something must be done only one group of people has the power and compassion to do it: pop musicians. And in the history of mankind there has never been a more noble and dedicated group of musicians than during the early 1980’s. Bob Dylan, Madonna, Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson, and Lionel Richie where all dating one another at the time so it made sense that they round up some other musicians and put on a concert. They got the Who back together (Pete Townsend and John Entwhistle didn’t know they had broken up until Mick Jagger Sobered them up to the facts) And Oh what a concert it was. 1.5 billion homes watched (the people in those homes either wanted to have sex with Madonna and thought that Michael Jackson was “whiter than before”) The super stars made two hit songs “we are the world” and “do they know its Christmas” which together raised over $30,000,000 (that’s 20% of the gross for the new Christmas comedy “elf” so far)
The singing and the harmonizing and the Cindi Lauper haircuts to follow caused the oppressive military regime to fall and a new, more humane representative government to arise. Now the People’s Democratic Republic of Ethiopia lives on in the glorious splendor of a country founded in a barren wasteland, surrounded by hostile nations, depending on billions each year in foreign aid to feed the thin, broken, people who have a 10% infant death rate, a life expectancy of 42 years, and still “live in a fucking desert”
Yes, the Christmas of 1985 will always stand out in my mind as one of the greatest Christmases of my life.
God Bless us, every one.
sources:
http://www.towson.edu/polsci/irencyc/T9840217/test.htm
http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/et.html