new skin

[Kayla]

This morning, for the second morning in a row, I got up and got on the bus to go to work. While waiting for the light rail to come pick me up, in downtown sacramento, I had time to ...reflect?

It was cool and quiet, but still a bit busy. The fog was heavy and sort of oppressive. I felt so alone, but not the kind of alone you're probably thinking. Maybe independent is a better word. I bought my ticket for the light rail and walked into a store and bought some coffee.

This is all every day things. But i did these things on my own. I got up and got ready for work and ...i just did it. The world seems new. I feel new. I've shed some old rules and adapted myself to new ones.

No more turning to my parents for reassurance and an extra shove. I have to shove myself. I love it. I'm exhausted from my work day, but I'm so proud of myself.


I decided that I was in love with someone, three months ago. I then decided I couldn't NOT be with him. I saved up money, found a place to live, i got on a train and i moved. heh.

One month ago I was on a train. Uncertain. Terrified. Excited. I am filled with this ultimate feeling of.....not elation....not joy....i'm just content. I'm happy. Satisfied. Fulfilled, or at least on my way to becoming so.

So many things that at one point absolutely TERRIFIED me to the point of making me physically ill, now are a source of great joy. Moving here, meeting my Nathan, learning to take the bus/train to work, getting a job, meeting my roomates....These are all such great things in my life now.

(they will be better when i get my first paycheck ;))

So, I now approach my first holiday away from home. It didn't really bother me that I was going to be "alone." As in, no family dinner thing to go to or anything. Nathan tells me tonight his mom invited me to come along with them. It's....it's all kickass. It's all slowly falling into place. It's not perfect. By any stretch of the word. But its .......

it's good.

[Kayla]

and now some pictures...of the things that make me happy....and....not so happy. i have no ftp space right now so attachments here i come!

my nathan :D

[Kayla]

me, a month ago, leaving :(

me looking ugly and such with my dad and stepdad (dad on the right, stepdad on the left)

[Kayla]

mom and dad and me

[Kayla]

a pic my mom took of the train leaving

[Kayla]

me and nathan the night we finally met. i look like crap but i just woke up so cut me some slack

[Kayla]

this is my roomates kitten whom i love love love

http://www.stormblaze.net/photos/2003/20031108%20Kitten%203.jpg


and
thats it
ok
im done :D

[Mudflap]

The kitten wants out of that harness thingie.

[MAC]

which kitten?

kayla, dear

it's always nice to look back at pics like those and remember ppl they way they where right then and there

I see a couple nice memories in this thread.

[Billyman]

Coolies Kayla. Best wishes.

Send naked photo's now.

[Kayla]

kitten hates the harness, i on the other hand like pcking her up by it and throwing her out of my room :D

and as for the naked pictures, no :P

[Billyman]

It never hurts to ask.













BITCH! :p

[Koliedrus]

I remember that "alone" feeling. I called it "self-reliance". It didn't really hit me as such until I got a place of my own. No roommates, no relationships aside from friends and family. Whomsoever crossed the threshhold of my dwelling entered into my keep for the duration of their visit. Visit they did and were welcome.

My financial obligations became my own as did my personal encounters.

It really does change your perception of daily events when you are obligated to make decisions that will benefit your life and not have them made for you.

Kudos, Kayla. I wish you continued progress on your journey through time.

[Kayla]

Maybe i'll just use this thread for a place to update.

i'm still enjoying myself and my independence.
my roomates, should die, a horrible slow paiful death.

but i spend my time locked in my room or at nathans new place.

nathan has asked me to move in with him in April once i have more money and he is more settled.

i met his parents at thanksgiving and i went to their house for dinner last night. they are soooo fucking awesome. his mom has this...way about her that makes me wanna hug her for hours.
his dad is quiet but really firendly and does his best to make interesting and funny conversation. they are oth so down to earth you wouldn't believe they are multi millionaires (:eek:)

they invited me to have xmas at their house since they know that otherwise i'm pretty much at home with a can of beefaroni and cable tv.

i'm starting to get my money situation bac in order.
it's not easy by any means but i'm doing what i can.

finally talked to my mom and dad on the phone the other night. nice to hear their voices.

i don't miss new jersey at all, and i really have no intent of goig back there...maybe ever.

its a miserable cold place.

it's nice and comforting and warm here.

i've found a little niche
a groove
and i've settled myself quite nicely :)

[Cruise Director]

Originally posted by Kayla


i'm still enjoying myself and my independence.
my roomates, should die, a horrible slow paiful death.




I've gone through 6 roomies in my life. A full third of them fall in this category. Even though I'd wish them pain, I learned stuff from each of them. (sometimes it was as simple as what NOT to do.)

[Kayla]

Whether anyone cares or not, I feel like maybe this deserves an update.
Tomorrow will be 2 years since I got on that train you see above to come to California.
Two fucking years.
They hve been two amazing years of discovery and adventure.

I've seen my family twice since moving out here...that's been hard. Only my aunt has actually come to visit ME which is also hard but...I'm managing.

Nathan and I are still doing really well. His family has adopted me as their own and it's all very comfortable and safe. Nathan and I have a great little apartment and we have good times.

I have a new job that is absolutely amazing. It is the perfect balance of challenging and rewarding. I'm not making tons of money, but I enjoy what I do and I make enough to take care of myself and then some.

So...not that anyone here does or doesn't care, but I think 2 years deserves some kind of an update. Maybe I'll post pictures later.

[Cruise Director]

Of course we care. :) Glad to hear things are going good. My new regional offices are in the Bay area (Livermore) and it looks like I'll be out there a few times per year. We may have to arrange some sort of meetin'.

More pics, now.

[Kayla]

I'm literally one town over from Livermore :)

[Kayla]

www.iamsuperfluo.us
I have some pics from my trip to LA in my new journal, all the way at the bottom.

[Cruise Director]

I like the tree / sky pic. Very cool indeed. Find us a good sushi bar and I'll take you and that bearded fellow out for some ahi.

[Kayla]

Well, I don't think that anyone really visits here anymore, but I'm feeling bored and reflective so I figured I would update this.

I've lived in California for 6 years now. Nathan and I are coming up on our 1 year wedding anniversary. In March we closed on our first home, and a week later we left on a whirlwind trip to Japan for a few weeks. A week after we got back we bought an awesome little kitten who is the light of our lives. We both have good jobs and are grateful for them (even on their worst days) in this hard economy.
Moving to California was the best decision I ever made. I moved on a whim. I knew I liked this fella, but I had no idea that he would be my husband.
His family is still amazing and his mom is the best mother in law a girl could dream of.

A happy picture to end the post, eh?
http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v284/48/31/502485865/n502485865_901195_4283.jpg

[Skeet]

Nice! Glad you're happy Kayla.

[Cruise Director]

"Best Decisions" sure make you feel good, don't they? It seems that after you make your first one, they come a little more frequently.

I am glad you are happy.