To tell or not to tell, that is the question.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

One of my best friends is cheating on her husband, who is also one of my best friends.... Do I ignore it because it is none of my buisness (although I am kind of involved because the person she is cheating with is another good friend of mine, and I was kind of there when it happened, and I am being used as an excuse for it to happen, ie... me and muffy are off to....and she goes off with him) and risk one of my friends feeling betrayed when they find out I knew all along... or... do I blab and betray the other friend, yet feel like my conscience is clean?

[Escape Artist]

Tell the hubby anonymously, i.e. have a friend he doesn't know call him up and spill.

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Tribal chat, the 6th food group! (http://www.thehypertribe.net/irc/)
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[Rabble Rouser]

I would tell him. He's going to find out eventually, and he might get upset that he wasn't informed earlier by someone who knew of it.

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"We must put an end to this. We've seen enough body bags and ballsacks." - Henry Kissinger

[Dog Breath]

You face a real possibility of losing one or both of them as friends. Her for letting the cat out of the bag or him for not telling him. If you do it anonymously he will still be mad at you when he finds out you knew. You could just tell him later it was you whom tipped him off anonymously. The thing is you cant please them both and honesty is the best policy. He will find out that is for sure.

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Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
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[FunkaY]

I think you should talk to the woman cheating and urge her to tell her husband..also talk to whoever she is cheating with and get him to hassle her aswell. It isn't your place to inform the husband, he really needs to hear it from his wife..you may cause him even more pain telling him than if she were to tell him herself.

If she cant tell him herself then she really shouldn't be married to him. The fact that she is continiously cheating too also adds to that point.

[Pianomahnn]

FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!! (no, not you my dear muffy http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif )

Why the fuck do people cheat? What is wrong with them? If you're involved, and feel the need to find a fuck elsewhere, tell your partner. Dishonesty is the worst thing in a relationship.

Muffy, spill the fucking beans, baby. Somebody has to be the adult here, and I nominate you. Your friends seem to be evil (no offense), so leave them, and come live with me. I am the anti-evil. LOVE!! http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

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[Danite]

I think it's a shame that your "friend" put you in this position. I agree that you should confront this person and tell her that if she doesn't come clean, than you will.

Either way, you can probably write off all 3 friendships at this point.

It's too bad people are not honest in their love relationships. It would make life much easier for everyone, including the innocents such as yourself.

Danite

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"And many of those whose bodies lie dead and buried will rise up, some to everlasting life and some to shame and everlasting contempt..." Daniel 12:3

[Lady Sianna]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>originally posted by pianomahnn:

Why the fuck do people cheat? What is wrong with them? If you're involved, and feel the need to find a fuck elsewhere, tell your partner. Dishonesty is the worst thing in a relationship.[/quote]

completely agree with you on that one.

honesty can be difficult, especially when it comes to hurting someone...but lies & betrayal of trust are <u>way</u> more painful.

although not an easy decision, i have to concur that telling him would be the most loyal thing to do.

good luck...


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to walk barefoot in the sand with the wind blowing through my sanity & laugh at the world...

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Thanks for the advice guys... I really appreciate it.

Pianomahnn... my friends are lovely, fidelity just isn't a strong point...

[MAC]

UUUMmmmmm....

Muffy dear,
you're in a pickle.

First of all understand that when this is over all these people are NOT going to be friends.
(If they are I'm living in a norman rockwell painting)

I agree with pianomahnn, why do they feel the need to lie about what they do.
but that's mute because its done.

You can't change the cheater.
You can't help the cheatee.
and you can't protect the cheated-with

But don't let her use you as an excuse.

And remember if someone else knows.....
Its not a secret.

theMAC would tell her he's going to tel
then theMAC would tell.

That sux but that's theMAC.

sorry you're in the middle of this http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/frown.gif

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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

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[Koliedrus]

Damn. Again, "been there".

You, my friend, are in the middle. You don't need me to tell you that.

If there's still time, tell your friend that you will no longer allow yourself to be used as an alibi. Be up-front with your concerns. Your friendship is being used and it will eventually fail if you don't take yourself "out of the loop".

What a tangled web...

(edit: I hear an echo http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif )

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Subdivided.

[This message has been edited by Koliedrus (edited 05-02-2001).]

[disturbed]

does the guy she is cheating with know that she is married? if he does then they should both covered in honey and thrown into an ant bed.

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I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend."
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[joanus]

joa

[joanus]

oops I didn't mean to do that. I'm experiencing technical difficulties.
However in reply to the topic, I would call my friend over and tell her of the problem that I was having with being "in the middle".
Explain to her if she wants to do this to leave you out of it. Also, explain to her how the whole situation makes you feel. Maybe she will consider your feeling, like a true friend should, and either leave the other guy alone or keep you out of it.