....

[mute]

I'm from Nova Scotia. I would consider to be part of a North American society. I live under Canadian law and politics, but my culture is heavily influenced by the U.S.A.. Thus, my term North American society. I would have to say, through opinion, life is very good here. Compared to other nations and societies life couldn't get any better today.

It really bothers me to here young people say their life sucks, and 'how much they have been through'. Compared to other places, like Somalia for example, they haven't been through shit. I grew up in a fine, somewhat disfunctional, family. So I can't really look down on someone who was neglected by their parents and get mad at them for saying their life sucks. Why not try not doing drugs so much? But to grow up with a house, food on a table and even your car to drive and say your life sucks drives me nuts. Maybe that's what makes me hate life, because I have to hear people say their life sucks. When in fact their life doesn't suck at all, to North American society standards. They wish their life would end.

[mute]

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over
I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert

Now I know I’m being used
That’s okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she’s playing with me
That’s okay cause I got no self esteem

We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
All this rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her no

When she’s saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should speak up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? yeah yeah yeah

Now I’ll relate this little bit
That happens more than I’d like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score

Now I know I should say no
But that’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go
I may be dumb
But I’m not a dweeb
I’m just a sucker with no self esteem

[that just about sums up my life right now.]

[mute]

i'm in a carnival by myself. i just saw the most beautiful girl, she looked like the girl i used to have the hugest crush on back in junior high. am i a 'fag' for saying crush?

i was walking with her while she hooked on to my arm smiling. it was the best feeling i have ever had in my life. i wanted to to go play a game to try and win her a teddy bear.

then i was back to where i was, sitting on a bench watching that beautiful girl walking away with some other guy.

[mute]

i'm imagining my parallel dimension suicide. i just shot myself infront of the girl i loved, and my best friends. my body heaved itself to the earth. i panned infront of my lifeless body, as my eyes stared at me. the music distorted, and i sped through light into my eyes. bringing utter shreaks of death to my ears, it suddenly calmed. and i was home, the houses were destroyed and it rained outside. i sat there, on the guard rail.

what the fuck was going on? i just fucking killed myself and now i'm here. here. here; where?.... everything , distored>.. i was dead, or was i? i don't know what time it is, not even a clue. i sawa puddle, and i had to look a myself. what was i? i've never been this scared in my life. and there i was. it was me. and then i just had to glance up.... and look at myself, look at me.

this is where the story somewhat begins.

[mute]

okay, i'm trying to script out a video for a song by Dead Can Dance called Ullyses.What I'm trying say is you'll have to listen to the song to help get a picture of what I'm going to try and paint for you.

At the beginning of the song it's in a forest on an overcast day, at a wide spread out part of it. Spread out as in each *note* huge magnificent tree is far aprat. At this spot is mary-go-round, it lights up as the music starts and starts spinning. Use your imagination as to what the mary-go-round looks like. A petit puppet looking monkey flies out of it landing on the ground. Think of it as a real monkey, and it looks like it moves freely with no strings attached. It looks curiously at the mary-go-round and suddenly the mary-go-round stops and dumps metallic/machinery junk out of it. The monkey runs up to the junk and starts fiddling with it trying to put pieces together. At this point it's 31 seconds into the song. He finally builds a small robot machine about 1 half his size. As the robot turns on it's 47 seconds into the song. The robot starts making machines quickly with some sort of machinery using lasers and things that could create machinery out of nothing. More monkeys are appearing in the background mimicing the same actions as the monkey you just read about. All of sudden, at time 1:18, the monkey starts cracking and 'evolving' into a humanoid puppet. Try thinking of it's puppet strings pulling quickly at the blink of an eye, breaking it's joints and turning into a human.

By the time the puppet changes into a human it's 1:34 into the song. This chracter should resemble a puppet/robot. The human character looks around like it's waking up from a coma and it's suffering from amnesia. After that short period of time there's other humanoid figures walking around. The other humanoids look like robot/puppet people like him. There's some buildings being built by robot workers by now. You should start noticing trees being cut down and fires burning.

This is where I'm stuck, I can't think of the 'theme' or meaning I'm trying to produce. Throught-out the rest of the song the robot witnesses horrific things like the forest being burnt, other humanoid robot/puppets doing acts like rioting/murdering/drug-abuse and other 'degenerate' sort of things. All of these things scare the character because he's not doing these sort of things. He should act worried when he's first introduced because he doesn't know what the hell is going on. By the end of the song the robot is dieing by the sea, and he's not near any civilization. There could be some surviving trees around him, seeing as he escaped from the destruction (or they have't reached him yet). Civilization being where he came from, ie. the mary-go-round, buildings and other sort of things you've imagined by now. By the time the singer is done, the robot is lying on the ground, dieing, looking up at a clear night sky, with no light pollution.

[mute]

please feel free to reply.

Does this Time of day stat (http://www.thehypertribe.net/~stats/hypertribe.html) of #hypertribe give an example of sleep cycles? PS. Look for the stat near the bottom of the pag.

[mute]

I feel ashamed of who I am at the age of 21. When I was 16 I would go to high school parties and see guys there that were 3 years out of school. I would say to myself I don't want to be that guy when I'm that age. And here I am 3 years out hanging around girls who are 17.

I don't really hang around them, but I've partied with them a couple of times. Most of my other friends who didn't finish high school hang around them 24/7, buying them booze to get them drunk and easy. Any time I've hung around these 17 year olds is when I'm dragged into it by my other friends. I don't go out of my way to try and hang out with little teen bitches.

But hey, if the chance for action fell upon my lap I'd hit it.

So it comes down to that, a piece of ass. There's nothing wrong with that is there? I find it kind of pathetic.

I find it pathetic that I see a movie with a 30 year old guy playing a 21 year old kid. When you're 21 you look young right? I'm still young and I'm still discovering things I thought I already found when I turned 18. I thought that's when you grow up.

I hate realizing shit when I could have done it 5 years ago. Why, why couldn't I have realized this shit then. It makes me think I'm going to figure out another one of life's curve balls at 31. And believe me I bet a lot of you did.

I'm stuck, dead, in a rut that I can get out of. And no one but myself has just resurrected me back to life. I love movies, music and video games. They are the only way I can escape from reality and dream the journey I can't have.

Here's some of the things I've learnt:

Stick up for yourself.
Believe in yourself before you want someone to believe in you.
Lying makes more problems.
Women dig confidence.
To succeed takes hard work and determination.

[SimpleSimon]

Apply those lessons to YOUR life.