Sports need an overhaul

[MAC]

Okay

Lets start with basketball.
The scores get way too high.
Since theres not much defense we need to elevate the difficulty of offense.
I'm for removing every other board on the court. Makes dribbling and running much harder.
Then I want to elevate the basket at least 6 feet. Shoot or pass. No more Michael jordon-fly like a bird.
This will also do away with the dramatic almost-staged-looking wrestling type fouls.
Speaking of wrestling....
incorporating some buxom gals into pro basket ball might improve the viewership.
Imagine Sable sprinting down court for a layup into 3 or 4 defenders........
Oh yah and free throws should be converted to the old-school-football-without-a-helmet drop kick style.
Flamethrowers for the coaches.
Asbestos Pom-Poms for the cheerleaders.
Radioactive shoes.
referees with chains and 2x4's.

Now that, I'd watch.



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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

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[Pianomahnn]

Basketball:
<ul>
A foul will only be called if someone breaks a bone, or dies because of someone elses actions.
Coaches can throw chairs at anyone.
Tip off will be between to players, but they, along with their teammates will have blindfolds on.
You are only allowed 6 passes before having to shoot the ball.
Fans may bring blunt objects to throw, whip, hail, rain down upon, or bludgeon oppposing teams, or bad home teams.
If for any reason there is a tie at the end of the 4th quater, each team's starting centers will be forced to have a 3 pt shoot out.
[/list]

Football:
<ul>
The football will contain an explosive device that will be on a random ignition.
A first down will be granted after 20 yards, not 10. This will force more exciting passing plays, and not so many 2 yard run and fucks.
The same idea of fans bringing objects able to injure players will be legal here as well. Except they will be allowed mechanical devices to help sling them on the field because of the increased distance of the trashballs in the nose-bleed seats.
There will be no rules protecting the quaterback. If you're dumb enough to go head to head with a 400 pound lineman, you should bare the consquences.
In the result of a tie, each team's general manager will be forced to race from one end, to the other. Who ever finishes, will be the winner. If the gm cannot finish at a speed near sprinting, the team will be dropped from the league, never to return again.
If at ANY TIME a player dances around like a flaming fuck for making a tackle, each person in attendance will be allowed One (1) kick in that players ass.
[/list]

Baseball:
<ul>
Fights are cool. Bats and baseballs are encouraged to be used in these brawls.
Field umpires will no longer be. Instead, fans will decide who made it on base or not.
A grandslam will only result if a light is broken at a night game by the ball, or a fan is knocked unconcious during a day game.
Salaries will be based on batting average. Never to exceed 1 million a year. If a player has a .231 average, they will make $231,000.
[/list]

More to come....

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[King Bastard]

<FONT COLOR="Red">The footbrawl idea is a good one, and one that I like. If it were more like rugby, were there are no protective pads used, I'd prolly watch.

Shit, I just want the Running Man to become a reality.</FONT c>

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century

[Cruise Director]

I haven't watched a basketball game since the last strike. I refuse.

I like some of the ideas for increasing action in both basketball and football. I don't think baseball can be helped. Just kill it.

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We all float down here...

[Dog Breath]

Saturday Night Special night at Dodger stadium?

The Gator bowl played with 27 live aligators on the field.

Which ever team is behind at halftime doesn't get to wear pads for the rest of the game.

Nascar STOCK CAR racing will be done using real stock cars. A model will be picked the day before the race and they will have to be purchased locally through the classified section. Watch out on Ford Pinto night!

Tennis will be played with a steel ball and the court will be doused with gasoline prior to each serve. All courts will be made of rough concrete.

All golfers will be required to walk in the fairways unless they are actually striking the ball. Yelling FORE will not be required.

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Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
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[Buddha's Penis!]

i feel i should add that athletes are highly paid because of supply and demand.
that said, i think any sport can be made more exciting by simply removing rules of conduct. no fouls, no penalties. i would watch basketball if they could kick, or baseball if they tripped the runner once in a while.

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you don't know anything until you know everything.

[MAC]

Cheerleaders.
Naked ones.

At everything.

Oh yah
And we need to add some kind of ball to NHRA drag racing.

Just my opinion.




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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

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[Pianomahnn]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by RogueWarrior:

blood-alcohol content of no less than .4.
[/quote]

Wow. Drunk people with pointy objects sounds like a plan.

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