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View Full Version : What's so great about Jake? (long)


Venus
07-08-2003, 08:14 PM
When I met Myriha, she was very much in love with Jake. She had moved from Illinois to Colorado to be with and live with him. Oh sure, she had lived in Colorado before so she had friends here anyway, but the main reason was to be with Jake. They lived together for a while, and for whatever reason (I didn’t ask), went their separate ways. They continued to talk, kept each other at an arm’s distance. Fuck buddies if you will. This goes on for as long as I’ve known her going on a year now. A few months ago, Jake and his girlfriend had split up.

Well naturally Myriha tries to make her move. Starts to spend as much time with him as she can. Stays the night over there almost every night. Turned her phone off so no one could get a hold of her, often didn’t return phone calls. At least, not to most of us. Veronica still got to talk to her. She still got daily phone calls, and hung out with Myriha a few nights a week. After a while of this, the rest of us are getting kind of annoyed. We haven’t seen Myriha in about 2 months, she won’t come out anymore, always wanting to spend the time with Jake. Well now, Veronica starts hanging out with Myriha and Jake all the time. Soon you don’t see Veronica without Myriha. So we start seeing less and less of Veronica as well. Being my best friend for almost 9 years now, I still call Veronica on a daily basis. Every so often I ask why no one’s seen Myriha, and why she won’t give up one night a week to come see the rest of us. Naturally, Veronica sticks up for her. Explaining that Myriha doesn’t know where she stands with Jake. She doesn’t know how long it will last, and so she needs to spend the time with him while she can. Now I understand this, hell, I know exactly where I stand with Matt and still spend all the time I can with him. But we both go out with friends.

So finally, probably about 2 months ago, I met Jake for the first time. We were down at the tattoo shop while Jake was getting 3 new tattoos. The three of them look like pretty good friends. Veronica and Myriha had started talking about getting a place together when Myriha’s current lease is up. So over the course of the next few weeks, Veronica is around more and more. Myriha’s alone time with Jake becomes less and less. Pretty soon, Veronica has spent the night at Jakes with the both of them. Myriha starts to back up a little. She starts to be less happy around Jake and Veronica. Well, about 3 weeks ago, Matt and I were invited to go to a steak house with Veronica, Myriha, Jake, and one of Veronica’s old friends. I opt not to go because I’m into the country music theme of the restraunt, Matt decides not to go because I’m not going. So the next morning (Friday), I call Veronica for the daily call and ask how it went last night. Here’s the convo:

“So how was Trail Dust last night?”
“Well, me and Jake had a good time. Brittney had fun.”
“What about Myriha?”
“Oh, she spent the entire night glaring at me and Jake. Anytime we said anything to each other, laughed at each other’s joke, looked at each other or anything, Myriha glared. She’s all pissed because Jake and I are friends.”
“Wow, have to you talked to her about it?”
“Well, Jake noticed it. He called me a little later that night and said he saw it, and the Myriha just needed to get over it. Then she called me a little later. She said she wasn’t mad at me about it, she’s just tweekin. She doesn’t know how to deal with this.”
“Deal with what? She’s never had two friends get along before? She’s never had a boyfriend and friend get along?”
“I don’t know. But she said she needed alone time with him. She was mad that he asked me to go to the mountain cabin with them. She wanted to go alone.”
“Well, I understand that one. She loves him Roni, of course she wants to be alone with him.”
“Well that doesn’t mean I should have to stop hanging out with my friend!”
“Roni, that’s not what I’m saying. My advice if you want to save the friendship between you and Myriha is this. She wants some alone time, and I know she gets it some anyway, I’m in no way saying you’re doing anything wrong….but if she wants more alone time, give her a little. “
“But they both ask me to go hang out with them.”
”So once in a while, and it doesn’t have to be every time, but every so often, just tell them you’re not up to it tonight. You’re sorry, you’d love to join them, but you just don’t feel like going over there. At least if you try that, you can say you tried.”
“I get it. And then if she’s still tweekin about it, I did my best so fuck it.”
“Something like that. You coming out tonight?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m kinda broke. “
“Yeah, I understand that one.”

And then on to other irrelivent conversations.
So that night, I’m out at the bar, and I called Veronica asking her to come out.

“Hey, come play with me!”
“No, I don’t think I’m going tonight. I’m just going to hang out with my sister.”
”Oh come on! I need someone to play with. You know Myriha’s not out, Cynthia’s not here yet, and I want you to come play.”
”Carol, I’m not coming out tonight. I’m staying here with my sister.”
“Alright. Fine. Be that way.”

So a little later, Myriha shows up at the bar. This is kind of suprising since none of us have seen her in a month. She has 2 maybe 3 beers, gets her tab and leaves because she has to go to work in the morning. Something’s obviously wrong. She’s talking as if her and Jake had an argument, and she doesn’t think they’ll be around each other much. Ok, no big deal, continue on with the night. So Saturday rolls around, and Matt’s going to get his first tattoo. I called Veronica and she says she’ll meet us down there. So after waiting for 3 hours to get the tattoo, I hear Brian (the artist) mention that Jake’s coming down for a while. I call Veronica to let her know that Jake’s coming down.

“Hey, is Myriha coming down here with you?”
“Um…no. She’s pissed at me.”
”What happened?”
”Well… Ya know how I told you I was at my sister’s last night?”
”Yeah….”
”Well, I wasn’t. I was at Jake’s. Nothing happened!! But I ended up spending the night there. Myriha drove by Jake’s house, and saw my car there, and she’s pissed.”
“Oh good lord!”
”You don’t think any less of me do you?”
“Nothing happened?”
”I swear, nothing happened.”
”Then why should I think less of you?”
”I don’t know, I just wanted to make sure. Jake and I’ll be down there shortly.”
”Oh, so you know Jake’s coming.”
“Yeah, I’m over at his house now.”
”Oh, I see…ok. See ya.”

So Matt and I are talking about this before Roni and Jake show up. And we decide that yes, we would be pissed too, and we have the security in our relationship that Myriha didn’t have, so it would be worse for her. But Roni didn’t do anything to me, and I’m not going to be mad at her for something that has nothing to do with me. When Veronica and Jake show up, she tells me the whole story. What happened, what was said, how Myriha met her downstairs with her DVDs and CDs and told her what she saw, that she didn’t want to even look at her, she didn’t want to talk to her, she wanted nothing to do with her. It sounded kind of like a break up.

“So I won’t be coming out to Teddy’s tonight.”
”Why not?”
”Because if Myriha wants to go, I want to give her the space.”
”Myriha won’t be there.”
”She might be.”
”Roni, if she’s pissed at you, and she thinks you might be there, she won’t show up.”
“Well she might. And I’m not going.”
“Fine whatever.”

Now I know damn well Myriha’s just Veronica’s excuse. I know she just wants to go back to Jake’s and hang out with him. Well, now, we haven’t seen Veronica out in 3 weeks. I’ve called her like I usually do, and every week it’s the same thing.

“You coming out this weekend?”
“No.”

Now I’ve talked to Myriha. We’re still good friends. She would rather Veronica come out. She wants Veronica to come out, because at least then she knows she’s not with Jake.
Well, up until about a week ago, Veronica had a boyfriend. She was so in love with him, had plans on marrying him. Last week she broke up with him. Said they had been fighting non- stop. I noticed that the fighting started when Myriha started getting upset about Roni and Jake. Well, this 4th of July, I threw a party. BBQ, beer, booze, fun, it was a blast. Spent the entire day cleaning the house, cooking food, and preparing. One of the guys had called Veronica while we were just getting started. Told her to come on down. She asks who’s there. He tells her, her response?

“I’ll think about coming down for a little bit later.”

Now, I’m pissed. This was my party she knew I wanted her at, and she didn’t come because she would rather be with Jake. So, here pretty soon, she’s going to get a phone call.

“What’s so great about Jake that you’re giving up a friendship with Myriha? What’s so great that he can keep you from seeing your friends? And what the hell is so wonderful about Jake, that you’re throwing away a 9 year friendship for him?”

Am I being too harsh? Am I just taking sides on this or do I really have a reason to be upset?

Kayla
07-08-2003, 08:25 PM
:ugh:
i had to stop half way through. i'm scared.

morgana
07-08-2003, 08:39 PM
<font color="lime">yeah. i got confused about who was dating whom.

anyway...from what i gather, one of your friends is obsessed with jake while the other one is just friends with them both. somehow, the friendly one stayed the night and some people now think they're more than just friends. or whatever.

but that's not what matters. to me anyway.

a friend, a real friend, won't abandon you for any reason. not for love, not for another friendship, not because they're mad at someone else. you need to sit down with both of the girls and just tell them straight: i love you guys, i understand that you may not like each other sometimes, but that should NEVER come between OUR friendship. if you guys want to put a higher priority on other relationships, don't expect me to just smile and wait by the sidelines. i'm going to find people that can balance their love lives along with their friends. and when you've got enough "time" to be my friend again, i'll see when i can fit you in my schedule.

that's just selfish, and a bit arrogant, to think that you'll just be there for them when they're done with whatever they're doing. if they can't find time for you, find people who can.</font>

Billyman
07-08-2003, 11:32 PM
What I gathered was that Jake has a big ole shlong and throwing that puppy around a bit. He’s playing two women like harps only occasionally hitting sour notes. He’s a player and is playing the game well. He’s manipulative and apparently a master at it.

Lady Sianna
07-09-2003, 01:30 AM
a very outside observation:

it doesn't look so good to me that Veronica is spending so much time with Jake knowing how Myriha feels about him. and he obviously isn't worth losing a real friendship over (no one is). there is a significant lack of communication going on between all parties and i agree with Morgana's advice of getting both girls together to put everything in the open & talk it out.

good luck!

MAC
07-09-2003, 02:54 AM
I must be old.

well, older than 17 anyway.....

Mudflap
07-09-2003, 03:55 AM
Veronica IS doing Jake. Myriha WAS doing Jake.

Both chicks are big ole greasey slut-burgers with a side of fries. They should just have the threesome with Jake and get it over with.

Women: The way to a man's heart is not by spending every free moment you have with him while blowing off your own friends.

Billyman
07-09-2003, 04:32 AM
Originally posted by Mudflap
Veronica IS doing Jake. Myriha WAS doing Jake.

They should just have the threesome with Jake and get it over with.

I think that's already happened.

Originally posted by Venus
So over the course of the next few weeks, Veronica is around more and more. Myriha’s alone time with Jake becomes less and less. Pretty soon, Veronica has spent the night at Jakes with the both of them. Myriha starts to back up a little.

Veronica apparently has better pooty. Myriha's jealous over the whole ordeal.

Originally posted by Mudflap
Women: The way to a man's heart is not *snip*with him*snip* blowing *snip*your friends.

Sorry, I saw a subliminal message. :p

Venus
07-09-2003, 02:02 PM
Thanks guys, for your not so helpful posts.

Koliedrus
07-09-2003, 02:53 PM
You're trying to solve a complicated situation, Venus. It's difficult enough to tackle one and many people fail at that.

"What's Special About Jake" could range from the size of his junk to the depth of his heart; all inclusive.

You're doing your best to keep friendships alive. That's a good thing. It seems like you know when to back off and also get your friends to do the same when they'll listen.

The best advice I can come up with is for you to try to keep from torturing yourself FIRST. You and Matt will do no one any good by being confused. I'm a guy, though. I stopped trying to pick out my own clothes years ago.

I'm suggesting a counterpart to The Testosteronadome because of this thread.

Cruise Director
07-10-2003, 07:06 AM
Friends always come back. That's what you have to remember. We have all had occasion when we start dating someone new where we back-burner our friends. It's a part of the whole scene where you want to make sure and establish your territoriality before exposing the new S/O to your friends.

The way I read it, Veronica crossed the line. Fucking your buddy's S/O is strictly off limits. In my opinion, it's off limits even if they aren't seeing each other any more. I've ran in to this situation with my friends and I don't envy your position. I basically told my "Veronica" that I thought what he did was shitty and that he was an asshole for doing it. We then moved on in our relationship with him knowing how I felt about the situation. Friends are allowed to screw up and you have to forgive them.

Remember that friends are more important than family because you actually choose them.

MuffyTheVampyreLayer
07-10-2003, 11:52 PM
Ahhh - the innevitable circle of fuck. Best to steer well clear of those, tricky little suckers.