I'll keep her

[Mudflap]

I've been trying to get settled into my new place for the past couple of weeks. Its pretty much a breadbox shack, but its cheap and in a good location to keep a 165 pound dog in the city, so I'll forgo my usual high standard of living and make the most of it. :p

Today I wanted to take care of the yard. Mow, spray Round Up, and put down some pesticide (not having a buncha fleas and ants in my yard, y0).

My associate, PB, and her son (the demon child, Prince of the Whine) tagged along. She needed to do some laundry and I have my machines hooked up, so I figured she could get that done and watch some movies on the VCR while I was doing manly stuff outside.

Any hoo, we had a late lunch courtesy of Colonel Sanders and I went outside to werk. Shrek was playing in the VCR and demon child.....er........PB's son was bouncing around the living room watching the movie and PB was thumbing thru a Maxim magazine at the kitchen table while the washer & dryer were doing their thing. I figured they could amuse themselves without my supervison while I was in the yard. My instructions to PB were "take care of your laundry and relax."

While I was working in the yard, my kitchen was cleaned, the floors were swept/mopped/vacuumed, and the windows and mirrors had all been Windex0red. Plus, I had a hot bath drawn and waiting for me when I was finished. Now, its 10:30 at nite and PB is cooking a late dinner for us.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found the elusive "keeper." I already knew that a while back, but I thought I'd brag a bit. Its not the cooking and cleaning in itself, but the thought behind it.

And just so ya'll know, I have been known to do her laundry, bathe her kid, clean her kitchen, and take out her trash.

Pardon my silliness, please. I'm 32 and have never shared these domestic chores with anyone with the exception of a few room-mates. I've been used to taking care of this stuff on my own or paying someone to do the stuff I hate doing. Its a cool new experience for me.

I'm gonna keep her. And none of you can stop me. Ha ha ha!

[Billyman]

THE WOMAN IS THE DEVIL!

IT'S ALL PART OF HER TRICKERY!!!

I'VE SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES!

RUN! RUN NOW.......AND FAST!

I'm happy for you man...really I am, it's been a long time coming.





















RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

[mute]

:wavey:

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

awww, that's so sweet. Stop calling her kid mean names.

[Mudflap]

Demon child = term of endearment

[squee]

Another casualty of the war of the sexes.

[PB]

Originally posted by Mudflap

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found the elusive "keeper." I already knew that a while back, but I thought I'd brag a bit. Its not the cooking and cleaning in itself, but the thought behind it.


Well.. well.. well... how sweet. I'm not even certain what i want to say here... I told ya I was a good catch... *wink*

I am speechless to what I want to say other than Thank you and awwww and all that stuff... but a certain someone also woke up this morning and went and got me breakfast and took the lil guy to school for me while I got ready for work. It's about time someone treats me good.. :) Thank you for that.

and Billyman........I am not the devil. I'm simply one of his slaves sent here to affect your life in whatever way possible. to steal your best friend and take him 1100 miles away and make your life just pure misery. I'm the beast under your bed, in your closet in your head.. *hears metallica playing* - oh sorry.. :) I know you couldn't be happier. thanks for the support. *kiss*

V.

[PB]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
awww, that's so sweet. Stop calling her kid mean names.

yeah... he's not a demon child!!! *gives you the evil look*

but seriously, the smile on Muddy's face when he calls him that also lets youknow that he means it in a good way, just to give me and the boy a hard time. You wouldn't believe how attached those two are to each other... but Devin can definetly be a handful.. but then again.. they both can. lol

V.

[Barbie]

You people all make me smile.

:)

[PB]

Originally posted by Barbie
You people all make me smile.

:)

So... lay down on the couch... and tell me...

What exactly makes you smile.... and how does that make you feel ?

What do you think this picture (http://psychology.okstate.edu/museum/inkblots/picture1.html) looks like???

:)

Just messin with ya... (i'm in a rather strange mood, you'll have to excuse me) thanks!

V.

[Barbie]

What specifically makes me smile is that you and muddy have (found) each other...I think that's it's wonderful....

whether it be friends...or more..

It makes me smile.

+ I like how he teases you about your kid. :)

I think the pic looks like a butterfly. :)

[PB]

Originally posted by Barbie
What specifically makes me smile is that you and muddy have (found) each other...I think that's it's wonderful....

whether it be friends...or more..

It makes me smile.

+ I like how he teases you about your kid. :)

I think the pic looks like a butterfly. :)

yeah he likes to tease me about my kid... but he'll be the first person to tell you how great Devin is, and how much he loves him. They are "best buddies".

yeah.. we make a good pair... it makes me smile too... but it's really funny to watch peoples faces when they ask how we met.. sometimes I just say through a group of mutual friends.. lol.. it cuts down the questions, until we tell them he moved here from north carolina. My family loves him, my son loves him, and so do I. it actually hasn't been discussed much on the tribe since it began, some poeple knew, some people didn't. he and I have been together for over 6 months now, we now live in the same city and he's pretty much drunk on my magic. :)

as for the picture... my first thought.... I thought... pelvic bone x-ray with colors. and then i thought butterfly.... I'd hate to think what my shrink would have said about that.

V.

[Mudflap]

OMG!

I'mma close this thread. :p

[Barbie]

6 months???

I didn't have a frickin' clue...

KEEPING SECRETS!!!

I'm kidding; I think it's GREAT!

[PB]

Originally posted by Mudflap
OMG!

I'mma close this thread. :p

Why would you do that???

PB

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

I feel so warm and gushy :)

You've violated me!!!!

[Mudflap]

Too much mushy.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

PB needs to keep the mushy thing up, otherwise we'd be stuck listening to you jabber on about odd things you do with your body fluids.

Hey PB, hows the mudbutter? :p

[PB]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
PB needs to keep the mushy thing up, otherwise we'd be stuck listening to you jabber on about odd things you do with your body fluids.

Hey PB, hows the mudbutter? :p

I am not even going to comment on that.... lol. i just can't, i'm laughing too hard now.

and Muddy - you started it! thank you very much!!! :P

we all know you love me, you can't help it. It's only natural. :) ha ha ha ha ha...

V.

[Billyman]

The picture looks like satan rising from a fiery pit and spreading it’s wings.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

and I thought I had issues....

[Billyman]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
and I thought I had issues....

You do.

I feel so warm and gushy :)

Translation?

"PB, you make me moist"

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Well of course PB makes me moist, but I hardly see that qualifies as an issue.

[Venus]

Well, I didn't see satan, but I sure saw some creepy eyes in that firey ring.

[Billyman]

Well since I have to point it out.

[Venus]

Billy, when those feelings you have start telling you to sacrafice children, please, don't do it.

[SatansLeftHand]

huh, billy sees satan, i see a bright-red elephant with a pheonix tattooed on it's forehead.

now, really, which of those is the more fucked up image?

[PB]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
Well of course PB makes me moist, but I hardly see that qualifies as an issue.

Well hot damn.. I'm on a roll!

[Koliedrus]

I saw a big happy elephant with its head split in two AND the whole demon-thing.

Twisted does not equal Evil. I hope. Although, Billy seems to have spent quite a bit of time on it...

At least it's not an Ethiopian kid eating a fish.

My interpretation is that PB, Muddy and Demon-Child are well on their way to good stuff.

Happy Elephants to the three of you.

(edit: Whoops! Now the "tusks" look like angry eyes and Satan is riding on the elephant's neck. On the plus side, I don't have man-tits. Yet.)

[Barbie]

I'm a lesbian, I'm a lesbian, I'm a lesbian.


deja vu hoo hoo hoo

[MAC]

I'm a lesbian too
I'm a lesbian too
I'm a lesbian too

this isn't werking
and I look silly in heels

hey billy, cool butterfly picture

check out this picture of satan rising form a lake of fire
http://www.votawphotography.com/photo/Butterflies/309-Orange%20Butterfly.jpg

[PB]

Originally posted by Koliedrus
My interpretation is that PB, Muddy and Demon-Child are well on their way to good stuff.

Happy Elephants to the three of you.



Thank you!

[Skeet]

Was she mad that I already took your virginity in the mountains of Tennessee?

[Venus]

Skeet? Do you ever have anything remotely nice or intelligent to say? Is it always all about your gayness?

[Billyman]

Originally posted by MAC
check out this picture of satan rising form a lake of fire

*snip pic*


Well thanks a fucking lot asshole. Now I'm going to have nightmares. :p

[ms. bing]

its a lip, its a lip, its a lip lip lip....
sorry, vague veggie tales reference
*checks self into mental health clinic showing only movies rated pg13 and up*
i need grown up time.

[Mudflap]

Originally posted by Skeet
Was she mad that I already took your virginity in the mountains of Tennessee?


Not at all. Every time I give her a mind blowing orgasm, I scrape her off the celing and then she'll ask me "Where'd you learn that???"

I always tell her the same thing. "Skeet taught me that one too."

[Venus]

Originally posted by ms. bing
its a lip, its a lip, its a lip lip lip....
sorry, vague veggie tales reference
*checks self into mental health clinic showing only movies rated pg13 and up*
i need grown up time.

Oh where oh where.............is my hair brush?

My daughter loves Veggie Tales.

I have that one...
If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south that'd be too bad. I'd be so sad.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Originally posted by Venus

If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south that'd be too bad. I'd be so sad.

That sounds entirely too pervey for a kids book!

[PB]

Originally posted by Mudflap
Not at all. Every time I give her a mind blowing orgasm, I scrape her off the celing and then she'll ask me "Where'd you learn that???"

I always tell her the same thing. "Skeet taught me that one too."

Who are you talking about??

Skeet - what did you do to him????

[PB]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
That sounds entirely too pervey for a kids book!

That's what I thought too.... but I'm a perv so that is to be expected,

oh well..







atleast I'm a keeper... :)

[MAC]

Hey! a veggie tales song thread!

barbara manateeeeeeeeee
you are the one for meeeeee

hold it
this isn't the veggie tales song thread....

and how did skeet's gay ass get brought up?
isn't he supposed to be out buyign a gun or something ?

[PB]

Originally posted by MAC
Hey! a veggie tales song thread!

barbara manateeeeeeeeee
you are the one for meeeeee

hold it
this isn't the veggie tales song thread....



YEAH! isn't this thread about how sweet and wonderful I am..... and that he loves me and that I'm the elusive "keeper" and happy oh PB is the greatest woman in the world for me by Muddy and muddy's so sweet for the things he does for me type of thread.

*PB Pouts*
finally a thread about lil ole me... and it gets taken to veggietales.

*PB tries not to giggle loud enough for anyone to hear her*

[Escape Artist]

i never got a thread. :(

nobody ever used a thread to call me a keeper. :wtc:

woe to me. woe. :mad:

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Hey, I got a thread all of my own - about whether or not I had a fat arse!

[Escape Artist]

Well, there's no question about that - your arse is more than suitably appealing. :p

Silly intellectuals, IMO. :)

[Koliedrus]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
Hey, I got a thread all of my own - about whether or not I had a fat arse!

That's it.

From now on, all posts will cost $1 US and be applied to the "Muffy's Friendly Donkey" fund.

With your help, one day she'll be able to say, "I have a nice ass."

[sauron]

Originally posted by Barbie
I'm a lesbian, I'm a lesbian, I'm a lesbian.


deja vu hoo hoo hoo

Damnit, at this rate, they'll all be lesbian...

Mutter.

- d.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Ha! My evil plan is working.

[Koliedrus]

/me puts on his helm and gauntlets.

Not on my shift, Mrs Ms Evil!

*yawn*

Bedtime soon. NOT ON MY SHIFT!

(damn. all these spikes. not good for the waterbed...)

[Koliedrus]

See, that's when you were supposed to impliment your evil plan. I'll give you another shot in a bit.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

My evil plan *is* working, no implementation needed. Besides, I can't exactly see how a married middle aged father of two, such as yourself, is going to stop me from converting all the wimmenz into lesbians.

[MAC]

YOU CALL THAT AN EVIL PLAN?

*MAC dances around tryign to look seriously crazy*
don't throw me in the briar patch!!
don't throw me in the briar patch!!
don't throw me in the briar patch!!
don't throw me in the briar patch!!

SHEESH....

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Well, I wouldn't expect it to bother you.....

[MAC]

hmmm....that didn't come out the way I wanted it to....

I've sorta dug my hole tho. consider that a last post a belly flop.

I still think its a pretty silly evil plan.
Now EA making all the women turn into lesbians seems more fitting.:p

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

And what would your evil plan be were you to have one Mac?

[Escape Artist]

Originally posted by MAC
Now EA making all the women turn into lesbians seems more fitting.:p

YEEEEETTTH!

I shall do this.

All wimmins please report to EA's Room Of Love immediately for reprogramming. :o

[Billyman]

Think, think, think...

I've you have a room full of lesbo's, you have a room full of dykes, some bull dykes who could kick your ass and are more masculine than you.

The only cooj thing that could happen would be watching a room full of carpet munchers....well, munch carpet. A definite wank fest but that's it, a wank fest.

You need to concentrate on making all women Bi.

"All lesbo's" would mean I have no use for women and they would need to be eradicated from the planet.

Think Bi.

Good for you, good for them.

I like to watch as much or more than anybody but I need love too damnit!

[MAC]

first of all a truely evil plan requires a twisted goal

like ridding the world of tooth pick dispensors

then you have to go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over board to implement the incredibly complex, confusing, and misleading plan

such as upsetting the european balance of power and funding for the secret agencies designed to stop you, by bringing peace to the middle east through funding a joint palestinian/israeli replanting of the forrests of lebanon, which you will pay for by blackmailing high level british and russian officials into laundering the money you made from your white slavery ring in the pacific rim by video taping them having cross dressing parties with their secretary's while wearing princess dianana masks that your sweat shop laborers make in the phillipines which is also where you hide your island full of nuclear powered cookie cutters that you are subletting to militant americans who hate martha stewart and are tryign to kill her while she's in prison, which you paid the senate judiciary committee to send her to after you framed her as an inside trader to hide her knowledge of your fleet of unmarked black helicopters that you use to set up and monitor the false cellular towers that will allow you to distribute the missing post cold war back pack nukes in the home towns of excentric scientists who must then develope your mind ray that will make all waitresses in all restaraunts do your bidding and throw out the toothpick dispensors...

...none of which I should be telling you about unless I have you suspended over your certain doom in my secret laboratory right before I turn on said death ray.

then you let slip a cruel chuckle

mmbwahahahahaaa!

see? evil plan

did you see any lesbians in that plan?
no.

I rest my case. :)

besides one day I may find a gal I like and I might talk to her, and maybe I'll fall in love and then I'd want to have sex with her and hold hands and everything.

don't ruin this for me !!!

:p

[SimpleSimon]

Mac, you are frighteningly good at this sort of thinking. I am glad I know you personally, and understand it is mere hyperbole (I think).

[River Rat]

*chews through last leather strap and slips out the secret bad guy escape hatch while Mac's evil chuckle distracts him*

I am not so sure about that......................................

[Pianomahnn]

mudflap r gay

[JoeyCat]

Originally posted by Mudflap
Demon child = term of endearment Stolen from me!! :D

[Koliedrus]

It isn't stealing when you share.

[JoeyCat]

Indeed! Mud is the only person who didn't *gasp* the first time he saw/heard me call Steph the Demon Child. He understands.

[Koliedrus]

Does that means I can use it for my kids as long as I say, "copyright JoeyCat", each time?

[JoeyCat]

You can use it, don't even have to say "copyright JoeyCat" each time. Maybe every 10th usage? ;)

[Koliedrus]

Kid tested. Mother approved :D

I'm up to four.

[Mudflap]

I paid you your royalties woman!

[MAC]

*MAC blasts off in his escape vehicle at the last second before his island fortress explodes*

DAMN YOU RIVER RAT!!!!

This isn't over!!

I'm going to assemble an army of demon children. With Joeycat and Mudflap as my generals we'll rule this planet!

and then I'll have my REVENGE!!!!!1

[Koliedrus]

/me unplugs extension cord trailing from MAC's escape vehicle.

*runs to the heap of metal*

I figured out the design flaw! Why are you looking at me that way?

[Koliedrus]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
My evil plan *is* working, no implementation needed. Besides, I can't exactly see how a married middle aged father of two, such as yourself, is going to stop me from converting all the wimmenz into lesbians.

I've been thinking about it but I keep forgetting what room I'm in.

Minivan, Ensure, wheelchair... AH. Got it!

I'll end up with those long before your plan comes to fruition.

I win. :)

[PB]

This was once.. such a beautiful thread...


*PB snickers*

[Koliedrus]

Sometimes, beauty doesn't need to be a Redwood.
Sometimes, it's a frog that fits on your fingernail.