i'm selfish

[mute]

So I'm sitting on my couch in my apartment. It's after school and I'm waiting for my friend to pick me up in my car so I can go home. (my car got towed from my 'secret' parking spot so I can't park anywheres in town SO my friend parked it at his school parking lot). My roomate asks me if I can drive her to the gym when I go home. I haven't been in the greatest mood for a while now and the last thing I want to do is drive into the middle of town in rush-hour (when I don't have to go that way) so she can get a drive to the gym. I simply replied, "I just want to go home when he gets here and I really don't feel like driving across town."

She gives me the most disgusted look and says, "You're selfish and all you ever do is think about yourself."

Okay, lets rewind time here. A week ago I woke her up after school and asked if she wanted a drive to the gym, just cause I'm a nice guy. I actually did that twice, and once I even went farther across town so we could get ice cream. I even drove an hour out of town yesterday to pick up a stranded friend.

Jesus christ, one thing I try not to do is be selfish. Sure, when it all comes down to it you gotta look out for yourself. I do things for people who do things for me. I don't do things for people who just always take, and never give. She, for one, does not do much for me except buy me ice cream and lend me money sometimes for pizza deliveries, BUT I always pay her back. And one more thing, iI guess my so called 'friends' agree with her. She loves talking behind people's backs.

From what you know of me, am I selfish? THIS KIND OF THING MAKES ME GO MAD IN THE HEAD.

[simiantics]

There's no such thing as being selfing. All deliberate actions are committed with the intent of being self-serving; it just serves some people to try to help others more often that not.

And one more thing, I guess my so called 'friends' agree with her

I could see how that would be irritating. Unless they told this to you without her present at the time though, that's not necissarily true. People lie non-stop trying to balance who needs to hear what in the speaker's best interest. It's easier to agree with someone bitching than it is to stick up for a friend (though I don't know why).

For the most part I try to take people as they are and let them do the same for me. Considering that I haven't been angry at anyone or even all that unfriendly towards, I think it's been going okay. It does matter what people think of me, because I need to interract socially on some occasions, but I can't be who I'm not so i just have to accept thtat not everybody will treat me the way that I feel I need them to and vice versa. If a relationship works, then fine, and if not then no big deal; fuck it. It's all I can do. If it can be fixed, then why worry? If it can't, then how will worrying help?

[Mudflap]

Giving someone a ride once in a while is cool. Giving someone a lift on a more regular basis is also cool, provided you were driving that way at that time on your own anyway. Giving someone a ride everytime they want one is bullshit. Tell her to buy her own car.

Oh yeah, I'm a dick. Keep that in mind before listening to me.

[SimpleSimon]

Tell her, "Im selfish? I'm glad too know you think so. Since that is your opinion in any case, I'll act that way from now on. You want a ride? Call a fucking cab."

"Have a nice life."

[mute]

Simon and Muddy know how to handle this. :D

[Billyman]

Dude, you gave an inch and she took a mile. You were being viewed as a "push-over" by her. You stood your ground and said "no". So be it. I'm proud of you and even though she got pissed about it, standing your ground from time to time earns you respect. Being a complete asshole doesn't, but standing up every once in a while does. Don't forget that. At least you gained a little more respect from me.

All in all, fuck 'em.

[Asmodeus]

Yup.

Or:

Grass, cash or ass, no free rides. See what she says to that. :D

[Barbie]

Okay - someone with tits will respond/retort

I agree with everyone above. She was WAY out of line. Who does she think she is?

HOWEVER ~ AKA. But:

Women read men with "tone" - when you said, "I just want to go home when he gets here and I really don't feel like driving across town, " did you say it *stank* or were you calm. Annoyed or somber?

Could you have rephrased your answer?

"I'm sorry, I really need to get home" and leave out the "last thing I want to do is drive across town."

[morgana]

<font color="lime">i agree somewhat, barbie. but anyone begging favors shouldn't take insult when someone decides to be a little too short with their answer. </font>

[Billyman]

I'm very short around here (my house). My favorite word is "no", just ask Jojo.

Jojo and I had a problem a while back. She always wants to GO. Go, go, go but I'm a homebody. There was a clash, not necessarily of Titans but a clash non-the-less. I understood where she was coming from with "we don't ever go anywhere" so I agreed to loosen up a bit. No problem there.....HORSESHIT. I gave that inch, she took that mile, I cut it off real quick. The obvious question arose..."what's your problem?", I explained then agreed to going frequently but not that damn frequently. "No" is still a huge part of my vocabulary and I stand my ground, I just do it within reason.

[Venus]

Well....
Giving her a ride is something she expects from you now. You've done it before and she's gotton used to it. Now that doesn't mean you have to continue to do it, but that's probably why she thought you were being selfish. And anytime we want/need someone to do something for us and they don't, we tend to think they're selfish, and thinking only of themselves, or they don't care about us, or whatever. It's just how we are. And when I say we, I mean people, not just chicks.

Billy, in JoJo's defense, that would drive me nuts too. Tell me you at least let her go out with friends...

[Billyman]

Hang on Venus, I don't LET her do anything. She's grown, has her own mind and can do anything she wants. The problem basically is that she doesn't have a long attention span nor a hobby, I, on the other hand, have an extended attention span and many hobbies. She get's bored pretty easily, I don't. During the week, after a 9hr work day, getting home, doing what yard work can be done (or what have you) and a shower, I'm done for the evening. Jojo wants to "go" somewhere, out of town or someshit. No, I don't think so, I'm staying put, but she is free to go where ever she wants, no arguments from me, in fact, I encourage such. The weekends (weather permitting) are usually booked solid. We both clean house, do yard work amoung other little tasks that need to be done. In between those things, I like to get a little rest (not necessarily sleep) but just a little relax time. Jo wants to shower and go. I encourage her to do so, at times I'm game for going with her, at others, she's gonna have to fly solo. Believe it or not, I'm more than reasonable about "going" even when I don't want to just because she wants me to. I don't sit at a desk all day and have all this "stored" energy she does. There is a time to say "no" and I do so.

[Barbie]

There is a big difference between Billy & Jojo and Mute & (his) Roommate...

Billy - when you say no, are you rude?
I doubt it.

What mute said to his ROOMMATE sounded rude. I would have taken it as rude.

[Billyman]

At times, I'm rude, rude out of annoyance of being asked repeatedly. It usually is "nah, I'm too tired" or "I just don't feel like it hun". Then I get "oh come on", "we'll only be out a little while" fallowed by a stern "no" by me. Then it's "well why not?". This is where I get pissed, this is badgering me, I was short with the answer in the beginning but I thought I was clear. Don't question me, accept my answer and move on.

Maybe mojo was rude.

There is a time for it.

There are circumstances where it must be done to get a point across. Some people "just can't get it" otherwise.

[Barbie]

You remind me of me :)

[Venus]

Billy, I certainly didn't mean to attack you at all, and I'm sorry if I made it sound that way. I didn't so much mean give her your permission to go alone, but I know guys who fight and bitch if they're chicks do something without them. That's why I asked.
I don't think mojo sounded rude. I think what he said was an acceptable way to tell her no.

[Billyman]

I didn't feel attacked at all Venus, I just felt I needed to:

1)Clarify

2)Get something off my chest (you helped open that door).

I don't bitch or complain much here about my personal life, especially about Jojo. We both have our quirks but she's a keeper and she does soooo much good that I rarely notice the bad. (Any woman that can put up with me and still claim to love me every morning is definitly a keeper) We all have our hang-ups and what I've posted about is one of mine. So my response wasn't directed toward you at all, just venting for me.

And

I would only bitch if Jojo constantly went out on her own. That kind of thing leads to suspicions and wonderings. However, she is at current a little too clingy and dependent. I'm trying to ween her off of that and with good reason.

1) It gives me a "break" from time to time.

2) It gives her a little self confidence as in "I can do this all by myself".

I need not keep rambling, you get me I think.

[Barbie]

Billy: how long have you and Mojo been together?

[Mudflap]

<marquee>HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! :D :D</marquee>

[Venus]

*snickers* I think she probably ment Jojo...*snickers again* but it's funny none-the-less!

[Barbie]

oops...I did mean Jojo but on re-reading...
"Billy, how long have you and mute been together?" :P

[mute]

STFU :fuckj00:

[Billyman]

Well Mojo and I first met at this bar just outside of town, I saw him watching me as I left my bar stool and headed for the bathroom. I knew he was looking at my ass because my ass got hot. I made a quick turn and ducked in behind some people hoping he would think I left. I couldn't make it to the bathroom without him seeing me so I did the pee-pee dance while standing behind the small group. The music was playing and when one or two of the people saw me and asked what I was doing, I just said it was the newest thing, a new fad and before long, everyone was doing it on the dance floor. I had made it to the bathroom, done my number and returned to my place at the bar (avioding eye contact with Mojo). As I sat there, I saw the reflection of the people on the dance floor in the mirrored wall behind the bar. I turned and sat in awe as there were at least twenty people doing "the newest thing, the newest fad" (the pee-pee dance). I burst out laughing and as I looked up and across the bar, I made eye contact with Mojo. With tears in his eye from the laughter he yelled from the top of his lungs "WHAT A BUNCHA FUCKTARDS!" and he just couldn't stop laughing. It was true love after that.

[edit] Jojo and I have been together a few years, been living together for about a year and a half.

[Billyman]

Just had a thought/concern..........

I hope Mojo still feels the same.

[mute]

Yep.

Originally posted by bad-moj0
STFU :fuckj00:

[Barbie]

1. Stay away from Mojo.

2. Sounds like Jojo has some things she still needs to work out on her side of the relationship. It's hard, but in the end, it's worth it.
I'm much like you Billy. When I get home, I want to do NOTHING. And if I'm pestered, I snap.

3. Stay away from Mojo.

4. did I mention to say away from Mojo?

[Billyman]

Stay away from mojo? I can't, he's too damn cute.

[mute]

:o

PS. I declare this thread OFF TOPIC.