Should I leave or should I stay?

[Solstice_Gray]

A little over a month ago I registered on a site called HalcyonClimbing.com (http://www.halcyonclimbing.com). My dad said he would not register so I could have a site that he was not a member of. Tonight he registered. Do you think I should stay, leave, lurk, get another user name or what? Or should I wait to make any decisions to see if my dad posts a lot and/or lurks? Your opinions will be greatly appreciated.

[Pianomahnn]

boldering.com4lyfe!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mudflap]

I did not vote.

I would instead suggest you talk to your dad and ask him why he registered at a site which he agreed not to register. Your relationship with him is far more important than any online forum.

Good luck.

[Solstice_Gray]

I have spoken with him, he insists upon staying. I love my father very much, it just ticks me off when people say they will do something and they don't.

P.S. I never put things like the internet or anything else before my family, ever.

[Solstice_Gray]

Oh, a note to Pianomahnn, I don't boulder, 'tis sport and trad for me. (But no aid.)

[Mudflap]

Originally posted by Solstice_Gray
I have spoken with him, he insists upon staying. I love my father very much, it just ticks me off when people say they will do something and they don't.

P.S. I never put things like the internet or anything else before my family, ever.

You may have talked to him, but it doesn't appear that the issue has been resolved.

[ms. bing]

while i think it was kinda insensitive of him to do something he said he wouldn't, i fail to see what the big deal is. maybe its my age showing, but i dont know what would really cramp your style about your dad being there. its not like youre going on there to post pron...
right?

[morgana]

<font color="lime">i have a no holds barred relationship with my mother- she knows that i will say and do whatever i please, and she's welcome to make any comments or suggestions she wants so long as she realizes i may not heed them. i believe that you shouldn't allow your father's membership to impede your activities in any way, shape or form. are you afraid that something you post may make him angry with you? or are you more embarrassed because he's your relative?

family should be the one place in the world where you can feel completely accepted and most comfortable. if you don't feel that way, perhaps it's time to take steps to change things.</font>

[Pianomahnn]

If you didn't want him to join. . .why did you tell him about it?

[MAC]

well, I'll interject this bit of info first: "coppa"
"children's online privacy protection act" (http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/buspubs/coppa.htm)
there are actually special laws dealing with kids info, tho that doesn't really apply to your dad directly, his presence may be a form of shaperoning. I don't know and you haven't said anything about that.
So I must now move on to ASSUME that this si strictly a privacy issue.
You need a place to discuss the things you like without him watching you and waiting for you to do or say something he thinks is bad...or even good for that matter.

So, I don't know your exact age, relationship with your dad, living situation, or anythign else, but p-mahnn just made a good point. Why did you tell him you where there? Or because you where trying to be honest or to try to tell him to stay away?
Either way, sooner or later he is gonna hafta cut you someslack, but I am NOT the person to tell him what to do. Thats his call and if you can't work it out with him then YOU have a problem.
Now comes the time when kids make REALLY bad mistakes

Yes parents, thats right, my stupid 29 year old ass is telling you, the grown up, that you are making BIG fucking mistakes by lording over children who WILL do what they want. Either you've taught (see: showed first hand) the kid how to make decisions, think , trust, and have friends or you haven't
but there's nothing you can do now
because your children will leave, lie, or live in misery to put up with your "best intentions"

don't believe me?

look at the poll at the top of the page

I vote leave. Its better you learn the lesson about leaving with crap like forums than later on in life with ppl you love.

[Billyman]

It's different for these adults who have their fathers and/or mothers in the same forums. They're all grown up and are no longer under the same scrutiny that teenagers are. As close as some of you adults are to your parents now, did you want them reading everything you wrote when you where a teenager? If you knew that they would be reading and responding would you not have censored yourselves whether it be language, feelings, thoughts, etc.?

Solstice_Gray, I think with him being there takes away some of your freedom and enjoyment of the board itself.

[Solstice_Gray]

Usually my dad is very protective of me, with my friends, my hobbies and my life. (I get slack but it is supervised.) He lets me climb with whom I want (if he knows them) and he lets me attend co-ed cast parties but he knows who is there and what we will be consuming (save for the brand of chips and soda). But he questions my mental state after reading some of my writings. When he read a few of my poems (Nervous and Scared is one) he recommended counseling (he knows my standpoint on counseling). When I get responses like that to any expression of myself is when I decide I don't really want him posting in forums where I post anything personal.

[morgana]

<font color="lime">billyman- i've been "my own person" since i was 15, so i guess i approach teenagers' problems differently. i haven't cared what my mother thought of my behavior ever since i realized that she's a human being and has made as many, if not more, mistakes than i have.

for those who haven't jumped to that conclusion yet, i guess i can understand there are frustrations. that being said, i really can't imagine any kind of behavior on a rock climbing forum being that outrageous as to worry about it. however, as you've already pointed out, i am an outsider looking in.

but there are successful cases- remember mr. sherman and his mother emerald on asylum? he freely talked about his girlfriend, sexual experiences, etc while his mother typed away in the same forum, and they seemed to have a fine relationship. </font>

[Solstice_Gray]

My dad is paranoid that I talk to guys via the site.

[morgana]

<font color="lime">isn't that better than sneaking out at night to run off and climb rocks with them?

the devil you know and all that. perhaps you SHOULD seek counselling- family counselling. find a counselor that would actively encourage your poetry writing, as it is a fine way of letting your thoughts flow freely and clearing your mind. then you can use them to work on your dad on the issue of your privacy, eh?</font>

[Billyman]

Originally posted by morgana
<font color="lime">billyman- i've been "my own person" since i was 15, so i guess i approach teenagers' problems differently. i haven't cared what my mother thought of my behavior ever since i realized that she's a human being and has made as many, if not more, mistakes than i have.

for those who haven't jumped to that conclusion yet, i guess i can understand there are frustrations. that being said, i really can't imagine any kind of behavior on a rock climbing forum being that outrageous as to worry about it. however, as you've already pointed out, i am an outsider looking in.

but there are successful cases- remember mr. sherman and his mother emerald on asylum? he freely talked about his girlfriend, sexual experiences, etc while his mother typed away in the same forum, and they seemed to have a fine relationship. </font>

You and your mothers, mr.sherman and emeralds, and all the alike relationships are very admirable. I think that sort of relationship deserves applause. I'll say it again, it's very admirable. As you pointed out, "there are successful cases", but it is a rarity.

When I am finally a parent, I hope to be as open minded as possible. I want my children to be able to ask me or tell me about anything. However, I'll also respect their privacy (to an extent). Some stuff they'll do or talk about, I'm just better off not knowing about.

I'm glad your seeing both sides of the fence babe. ;)

[Pianomahnn]

It's better to have a father who cares than one who doesn't.

Who cares more? A father who lets you do whatever you choose without so much as a blink of an eye, or one who wants assurance you're safe all the time?

[SimpleSimon]

I do not know your age, or the full circumstances here (having heard only your side of things), but based upon your posts here I think your feelings are not unreasonable.

Your father, having made a committment to you to refrain from registering in that forum, should have respected you enough to keep his word. More importantly, he should have respected himself enough to do so. In the absence of some compelling need that makes breaking his word the lesser of two evils, he has betrayed himself and you.

Resign from the forum in protest, and tell him what you are doing and why. Perhaps he will recognize his error and correct it.

[Uberwonder]

Age and do you live at home.

That would establish the parameters for an intelligent answer.

If you are over 18 and living on your own, tell him that either he leaves that forum or you are going to become a regular at Stileproject.com.
Wait, tell him that if you are under 18.

Tell him that if you can kick his butt.


Tell him to leave or you are going to start dating Mac, who you met in an alternate sexual experimentation chatroom.

[Billyman]

She just turned 16 last month. That info will help with answers or suggestions.

THE POWA' OF THE PROFILE BUTTON! :eek:

[Uberwonder]

I'm crippled.

[Solstice_Gray]

Sorry about not posting some more information, as Billyman said, I'm 16 and I live at home.

P.S. Dating someone such as MAC would scare me.

[jules]

aww, poor mac. : (

[Jenny]

I've never climbed a halcyon (though I'm pretty sure they gave a prescription of halcyon to a crazy teacher I used to have), so I can't speak for having my father climbing halcyon with me, especially if he's below me and I'm wearing tight sheer nylon shorts with loose leg-holes and my favorite pink halcyon-climbing panties.

I guess the same would go for having my dad on a message board. Just because you want to loosen up a bit and talk about orgasms and stuff. (Not that your dad doesn't know about yours, you little minx. Knocking things off the dresser in the next room with your feet and squealing "OGODOGODOGOD!" is usually a tip to ol' pop that you're in there wrestling with your naughty bits while watching Justin T. spazz out on TV again.)

Gosh, you might say something revealing about climbing. If you do, and it shames you into silence for the rest of your life, and every time you see your dad's face it sends you bawling into the bushes, please be sure to share with us. 'Cuz I, for one, can't imagine anything you could say in a climbing forum that you couldn't say to you dad.

"Oh yeah, baby, reef that knot... yeah, that's it... pull it tight. Gimme somma that chalk, darlin'... yeah, baby... here, let me cinch that crotch strap for ya..."

[Escape Artist]

:o

That...that was beautiful, albeit confusing.

[MAC]

Originally posted by Solstice_Gray
*snip*

P.S. Dating someone such as MAC would scare me.

what did I do?

oh never mind, add ten years to your age and then I'll be heart broken :wtc:

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Jenny
*snipage*
"Oh yeah, baby, reef that knot... yeah, that's it... pull it tight. Gimme somma that chalk, darlin'... yeah, baby... here, let me cinch that crotch strap for ya..."

Thank you so very much.

That was one like the funniest thing I've read all day.

:rofl::rofl::rofl: