procreation, anyone?

[ms. bing]

it occured to me in talking to a friend on the phone the other evening that i do not know another mother, single or married, who wants more children. the only ones i know who wanted more than one child at any point already have them and are finished.
i really want another child someday, hopefully when eva's about 4 or 5. if it occured before then it would be incredibly inconvenient and make things really hard for me (not to mention that i HATED being pregnant and im in no hurry to do that again) but it would be ok.
i would tell you what spurred my line of thinking on the above point, but i DO NOT want this to turn into an abortion debate. if you want we can make another thread. :)
i just wanna know of all the parents here, mothers and fathers, single and married, multiple kids or just one, how many of you want more?

[SimpleSimon]

There are too many of my descendants already. Enough is enough.

[Barbie]

I love my daughter more than any thing else...there are no words to describe my love for her...but I never ever wanted children to begin with -

I took myself out of the gene pool when I was 21 - 21 I had my tubes tied.

There is no option for reversal since I had a hysterectomy last summer (and having my ovaries removed this coming April)

Having kids is left too all of you now. ;)

[Venus]

Actually, I never wanted kids to begine with. Now that I have my daughter, that's only changed to the point of the one. I don't want anymore, but I know that I may in the future. I certainly don't want more than 2. I refuse to be outnumbered.

[PB]

If I could have a non-complicated pregnancy... I'd have several more.... that and if I had the money to raise them.. i love kids..

especially when they are babies.

but for some reason, I wasn't made well to have them. My body hates being pregnant.... with one active 4 year old (which i was told would surely kill me when i was preg.) .. and 3 angels out there.. and well......ya know........ I often wonder if I wasn't made to be a mother either... but it falls with the other questions i seem to be looking for answers to...

I do however think that to many people in the world decide to bring children into the world when they have no way or taking care of them what so ever. some people shouldn't be allowed to keep having more kids..

[Billyman]

Some of you ladies sadden me. For some reason, more often than not, you can tell when a person was an only child. For those who have grown up without siblings; You have missed out on a wonderful world.

I'll take two please.

[Barbie]

are you suggesting (guessing) that I'm an only child?

[ms. bing]

billy, honey, although i agree with you on wanting my daughter to have siblings, i dont think whether one wants more children or not is necessarily an indication of them having been an only child. some of them may come from situations where there simply wasnt enough time or attention or money to go around to all the kids, and they want to spare their own children that. some may recognize that they cant give more than one child everything they want to (like a quality education). some, like barbie and pb, can do nothing else, one is all they'll probably get.
my hope is to have more, but i had a relatively uncomplicated (if annoying) pregnancy and will likely do well enough to be able to afford to give another child all the advantages i would like them to have.
after all, i dont plan on being a high school teacher forever. someday i want to be a really annoying tenured college professor.

[Billyman]

Look guys, there's a million and one reasons not to have children to begin with. There are even more reasons not to have a second, a third, etc. I can't and won't dispute them. Who could? Being an only child isn't necessarily a bad thing. I never said it was. All I said was those who grew up without, missed out. I don't expect "only childs" to understand what I'm saying. They didn't experience it, they didn't live it and/or aren't living it now. I'm just saying, since I have a choice, I'll take two.

Don't turn this into something it isn't.

[Pianomahnn]

Minimum two. Siblings == win. I can't imagine how much different my life would be without my little bro.

Maximum, whatever sanity permits.

[MrsKol]

My mother is one of 16. Yes, that's right 16. My dad is one of 6.
Kol is one of 4 and I am one of 2 (3 if you count my stepsister). I now have two beauties. With both of them I had complications. There was a time when we weren't sure how Nathan would be. Even tho I am not too old to have children, I feel like I am. If a surprise pregnancy occurred, it would be a wonderful and joyous occassion, but if I had my druthers, I think I am finished with baby making. I mean a person can only handle so much joy, right?

[Pianomahnn]

I demand more mini kols!!!

:)

[Barbie]

Originally posted by Billyman
Being an only child isn't necessarily a bad thing. I never said it was. All I said was those who grew up without, missed out. I don't expect "only childs" to understand what I'm saying. They didn't experience it, they didn't live it and/or aren't living it now. I'm just saying, since I have a choice, I'll take two.



I hope you didn't think that I was being snarky; I was just asking you if you were guessing, because you seem intuitive. I'm an only child...rather, raised as one.
And others around me are shocked to hear that I don't want to have a larger family than I do (did)...
If you ask my daughter at her age, (10) she'll tell you that she adores kids (she does) but she doesn't want any. She said that she'd rather help others take care of theirs.

I never wanted children, simply because (as selfish as I know that it is) because I don't want them to go through what I have.

Billy: do you have any? (kids) :)

[simiantics]

I'd like two or three, but I'm not sure I'd want to raise them in this world... maybe it's just a phaze.

The world has enough people like me... even if I'm the only one.

[Solstice_Gray]

My life has been made better and worse because of my little half sister. I love her and would give everything I could to let her be a prosperous human. However, I do not want children. With the type of career I am interested in, I feel I would not be able to provide to a child the way I think a mother should.

Besides, I scare myself enough, were there more then one of me, especially in the same house I would be very afraid, very afraid.

[jules]

Half of me says "adopt some" and half of me screams "NO HAVE YOUR OWN CHILDREN (AND LOTS OF THEM!!!)"

I'll probably have two. The idea of being pregnant isn't thrilling, though.

[Venus]

I think mine comes from having a child when I wasn't ready. I'm still young a measly 21 and I have a daughter that's gonna be 3 in two months (wow, has it been 3 years already?). I wasn't ready to have her, and I'm certainly not ready to have more. Although I know that my boyfriend, who I do intend to marry (yes, he agrees), would like to have kids, and I assume he wants one of his own. Later in life, after we've had time to be a couple (with my daughter on the days I have her), when we're financially stable enough, and careers permitting, there may be talk of adding another. I just don't want more than two. Having one already, I know how hard it is to deal with. Only with the help of a strong daddy could the possibility even arrise.

[PB]

I agree with you guys about kids needing siblings!!!! Had it not been for my big brother... I'd have never learned to fight back. But i'm glad he has become the man he is... instead of remaining the one it seemed he would be.

and my little brother.. I love him very much.... I wish when I was younger I'd have appreciated him more for the man he was becoming.... now he lives in Oklahoma.. and it's way too far away for the love i feel for him...

Siblings definetly are good...

I always wanted a house full of kids... health wise, i know that it won't happen for me... but I would like to have a daughter.. sometimes i think the losses that i've had to go through would be worth it.. but when it puts me at risk, it's not, only because i still have a son to raise as well.... we shall see what happens..

V.

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Barbie


I hope you didn't think that I was being snarky

Not at all.

Originally posted by Barbie
Billy: do you have any? (kids) :)

Not to my knowledge. ;)

[Torque]

Got two already. This past month, while they were both generally ill with minor kid ailments, I was stopping at two.

I'm happy with two kids, my wife wants 3 kids. I have a feeling we will compromise, and have 3. But thats it, the second that youngster comes out kicking, I'm off to the vet to get fixed.

The number of kids one has is such a personal decision for the parents, I'd not even try to reccomend how many folks should have. And there's never a perfect time to start having kids, just better times than others. I was not at all ready when I got the call, but you get almost 9 months to get ready. I used to never imagine myself being a daddy, now I couldnt imagine myself not being one. Life would be sort of dull, and not have much meaning beyond fleeting fun and accomplishment in career. Those are fine things, but after spending 3 years of evenings telling stories and tickling, they seem less important.

Sometimes it's annoying when my two little boys are fighting, or both are ill, or both need to be rescued from their little beds at the same time, but seeing them leaning on each other on the couch, or playing in the bathtub together makes it all worthwhile. I'm sure they will do the same with their future brother or sister. Fight, hug, share, and fight. I grew up with a little sister. She's 4 years younger than me. I speak to her about twice a month, just to keep up. If I need something, she'll be right there, I'm right there when she needs. We still fight sometimes, but will drop it in a flash if something needs to be done for our parents, our children, or anything else truly important.

My wife is one of six. I'm just glad she doesnt want six herself :)

Those of you that don't already have kids, can enjoy the feeling that you will be the bestest parents ever in the world, and make no mistakes. I forgot to bring film for the camera to the hospital for the first pictures of my first son, leaving us with one pic of him with the doctor, and one with the bathing crew. I got my first mistake taken care of quickly :)

[PB]

Very good points Torque..

when do you think #3 will b e in the planning? just curious..

becoming a parent is a big step.. in more ways than one, my son saved my life.. and I have become a better person for the joys that he brings to me.

Get to groovin...

V.

[Cruise Director]

I live in the land of big families. In the neighborhood where I grew up there were 4 families with a dozen kids (yes, 12) and one with 13. Most families here tend to be large and unfortunately, they can't really afford to raise them. My State ranks among the lowest on dollars spent per school child because we have toooooooo many kids.

Even being raised around the litter mentality, I plan on having two. Hopefully a boy will be in there somewhere to A.) Carry on my name and B.) I can teach him to pee on things. :)

[estero]

Hmmm, I have changed my mind so many times about this. I think Ive decided that I do not want to be the mom who bakes amazing brownies. That thought scares the crap outta me.

I think I would like a child when I'm in my middle 30's. I think it would be the best time for me.

[SatansLeftHand]

yeesh
what a question.
i quite honestly have no idea whatsoever as to an answer to it just now. i do, however, know for certain that there are as yet no minijeds in the world. for now, it will remain that way.

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Torque
I'm happy with two kids, my wife wants 3 kids. I have a feeling we will compromise, and have 3.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! :rofl::rofl:

The rest is just well said.

Will you be my daddy?

[Mudflap]

Procreation? Oi!

[Mae]

Can of freakin' worms guys, jeez! Um not gonna have kids if I can help it. Not really liking the little ones much. Really depends on what my partener wants, he wants to adopt, great! He wants one of his own? Let's have a long discussion about it and we would need to be financialy able and then some. Not into the whole welfare and searching for college money.

[ms. bing]

just a note:
a wise man once told me "if you wait until you can afford to have kids you will never have any."
works well for some folks. i think the moral is you could have millions upon millions of dollars and you will never have enough to give your kids everything you want to give them. if you are the kind of parent the old man who told me this was, you will always wish you could give them more.

[Barbie]

they say now that if you wait too long +30, you decrease your chances of having kids by 10% each year.
Ya, you have lots of eggs, but their viability is weak after the age of 25.
Yes, that's right, I said it 25.
So while you might think that you are doing good by being financially responsible, you might dish out all that money you saved for invitro (if that even works) because your eggs aren't what they used to be.

[SimpleSimon]

Try 42 for a first child. My sis-in-law was that age, my brother 47.

[Barbie]

Fluke?

[SimpleSimon]

Not at all. They had given up hope, had been married 20 yrs. They are the happiest parents I know.

[Barbie]

:) That's very good to hear.

It's nice to have a happy ending.

[Mae]

Auddie is the smartes kid I know, he is th eapple of his parent's eye and a joy to those around him. They can provide and have made future plans to do so, I just don't want my kid to go to school and get called bean pole. I hated being so thin, I hated being the only kid to not have clothes that fit. I could have cared less if they were new, I just wanted them to fit! Well kind of a sore spot. Suffice to say that If I ever do have a child, I hope that I am prepared like my mother and father weren't.

[mdavis113]

Originally posted by ms. bing
i think the moral is you could have millions upon millions of dollars and you will never have enough to give your kids everything you want to give them.

Back in the day when I was a single parent I was faced with a decision...
accept a position with more responsibility, longer work hours, and increased compensation or continue as I was. I solicited the opinion of my then six y.o. daughter. I explained to her that I could spend more money on her or more time with her. Needless to say, I declined the promotion.

Oh, and more to the subject at hand... procreation... I'm standing pat. The ladies in my household already have me outnumbered 4-1, 7-2 if you include pets.