Runaway

[Koliedrus]

I'll call him Justin.

I met him in third grade. He was an awkward kid but we got along well. He and I would tease girls and cross our fingers to ward off "girl-germs" when they got their imaginary cooties on us.

As time went on, he showed me how to build model rockets and I introduced him to reading A E Van Vogt. His rockets and my imagination took us beyond the stars.

By the time we reached high-school age, he had confided in me that he thought his shy nature was brought about by his home life. His parents were seperated, each had a live-in (albeit, rotating) relationship, and each one had a different set of rules for him to follow.

At his funeral, each parent expressed their love for him. Neither would accept that they had anything to do with driving him away.

I knew different. Justin explained it to me in detail. He knew they loved him but they were driving him crazy.

"I can't stay here like this"

So he left. His death was accidental but it is still permanent. I talked to his dad a few months ago and he still expresses his love for his son but I could hear in his words that he will not accept any blame for the loss.

I was also almost driven away from my parents because "we just want what's best for you". I lucked out. I didn't run. Justin didn't have the kind of guidance I received. He only felt stifled and confused.

[Kayla]

i get a lot of guidance from my father. Unfortunately i dont have a mother figure in my life (if you read the mom thread you know what i mean) I can defiantely relate to not having a feeling of stability. I'm sorry about what happened to your friend, and im sorry if this wasnt the type of response you were hoping for. How long ago did he pass and what brought up these feelings?

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Here i am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded...you don't see me.

[Koliedrus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Kayla610:
How long ago did he pass and what brought up these feelings?

[/quote]
1. 1988

2. No reason http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

[joanus]

I can simpathize with your friend Justin. Like him, my parents are divorced and both have an off/on relationships. I consider myself to only have a biological father. I don't have a "daddy", or someone I can go to in trust to converse with of the things that bother me. My father is not what you call a "Great Dad" or "#1 Dad", he is more like the devil in plain clothes. The reason I say these horrible things is because on numerous occasions he and I have fought. Thus, leaving me with not only mental damage (I'm not psychotic)but physical aswell. About a year ago we had our last duo and it left me with a black eye, we don't converse hardly ever. If we do it consist of "Fuck You" or "Go to Hell".

Either way you just have to be strong and handle things in your own way. Appartently Justin handled them in the only way or the best way he new how.

Maybe you should confront his parents and share with them what he had confided in you. There is a possiblity that you will only make things worse, but then again they need to know. Also if Justin has any siblings it could help their relationship with them.

All in all though I am truely sorry to hear of your friend.

[Rabble Rouser]

I can see Justin in my younger brother. My parents are married, but might as well be divorced. We all still live in the same house, but it hardly makes any difference.

My father wants (and wanted) no part in raising us. He left all the work to my mother, his excuse being that he was working whereas my mother was not. My mother works now, but his excuse has changed to, "Well, I work harder." My parents are in the process of getting divorced, and my father refuses to do so much as look at the papers. But if nothing happens for two years, he can't refuse and the divorce will be finalized. We still have a year or so to go.

Since my brother is 15, one of the biggest factors in this is where to send him. My mother and I both believe that he would be better off with one or the other, because he recieves two different sets of rules. Our father just lets him do whatever he wants. He'll yell about how my brother is failing school and threaten to take away priviledges that he has, but that same night, he'll allow Jake (my brother) to stay up all night on the computer.

My mother has tried everything in her power to straighten him out. She's taken away priviledges, allowance, and even considered sending him to military school. But whenever my mother's not around, all rules are forgotten, and Jake recieves mixed messages.

Despite his arrogant attitude, I know (as he has admitted before) that my brother is seriously depressed, and I believe that it stems from not having a consistent upbringing. While I was younger, my father had a different job where he was hardly ever at home, so my mother was responsible for raising me. My brother has no discipline whatsoever...my mother is not around that much due to her job, so he spends most of the time with our father. I worry about how much furthur this is going to go before my father starts owning up to his responsibilities. There's more to parenting than providing money.

Children need consistent rules and discipline. It doesn't matter who you are being raised by.

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"We must put an end to this. We've seen enough body bags and ballsacks." - Henry Kissinger

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

My mother was the most peaceful little drugged up hippie you could ever meet. She had a heart of gold, and a very gentle nature. She would discipline me with long talks by the pot belly stove or while walking along the beach. I got my arse kicked occasionally, but - who dosn't. When my Mum died (when I was 11), I had to go and live my dad, who is hitler reincarnate. The next thing you know..not having hostpital corners on the bed was punishable by near death, I wasn't allowed to keep any of the money I got for working in the local chippie for myself, and I was made to drop history and geography as 'I should be learning home economics as all I was ever going to do was be someones wife'...There were yellings, screamings and beatings... when his whore..err wife..finally told me that she was glad my mother was dead because she had never been more than a psycho, bitch, etc, I wiped the stupid bitches face all over the floor... Dad beat the snot out of me and sent me on my merry way. I was 13. He took me back for two weeks when I was 14 only to shove me in a boarding school. When he beat me up again, me and several of my friends came round packing, broke in to the house, and removed everything I owned from it, and nothing else. I have not been back since.
The police were notified, as I was a minor, and there was a big search for me. This ended when my friends parents, unanimously and without conspiration, told the police to leave me alone as I was better off homeless than with that prick.
I hate the bastard, and will dance a jig on his grave the day he dies.
Twice and on seperate occasions his own childeren (myself and my bro) have shown up with loaded guns. Twice he has not been home. He is a very lucky man.
His most recent exploit, the one which had me reeling and going nuts at the beginning of this year, is to rip me off of more than $400.000.00 - so that he could build his whore a new house. When I argued with him about it, he disowned me (hahahaha) - I am currently taking the prick to court http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif.
Trust me Kol, I know about discipline.

[King Bastard]

<FONT COLOR="Red">Rable; is it even an option to call your dad on his behaviour? Or wil that just sent things into an even more tense state?
A smuch as I could gripe about my 'rents, I have to say that I at least only had one set of rules to live up too, and after reading those accounts, I am glad for that. I dont even wanna think about how wild I could have gotten gad I the chance.

Kol; I really dont know how to properly express what I think you could do to have more closure than you already do over the los of your friend. But I do feel that much like the older gentleman that you posted about, these people need to be aware of the truth, despite the fact that it's a painful one.</FONT c>

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century