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MrsKol
01-06-2003, 01:04 AM
Today did not start out so well, as when I woke up I had a minor migraine. I get these when I am suffering from personal stress. In this case the death of a good friend and co worker.
"They" found her dead on the morning of Dec 23. Her body was autopsied, cremated and the memorial service was today. This was part of the personal stress. I do not do well at funerals and memorial services. I get so choked up with grief that I can hardly talk. And when I do, it sounds like gibberish. Right now just writing about it, there are tears rolling down my face. I never thought of myself as a sensitive sort of person, but I guess death does that to me.
My friend left behind two children. "They" said that her death was either accidental overdose or suicide. Because they can't find a note or anything of the sort, they are leaning towards accidental overdose.
She had a husband, who died in April, from alcoholism. In September she married a man who:

1. had been stalking her for a couple of weeks
2. She actually knew/talked with for two days
3. is a questionable character

Now three months later, she is dead. We all suspect he had something to do with her death, but alas, there is no evidence.
She sort of blocked us out after she got married, so no one really knew him, or saw what there marriage was like.

One of the things I was worried about, if he would be at the memorial service, my reaction to him. But God does work in mysterious ways. After the service, I asked a co worker if he was there, since I didn't see him. Looks like the ole boy wrecked her brand new Ford Explorer, totalled it and was in the hospital and locked down.
On the way home, I just cried. When I got home, I saw the neighborhood kids out playing. I came into the house, got the kids dressed in something warm and took them out to play. It was great to see mini mrskol and mini kol, just run and play, roll around in the mud and grass.
The day started on a wrong note, but ended on the right one.

ms. bing
01-06-2003, 01:18 AM
i have a friend who married a man of questionable character under questionable circumstances right after she got divorced from her husband. i cant understand what is going through her mind, and i do fear for her. it sounds like, not knowing your friend personally, she did the same thing. although no obvious harm has come to the person i know this is not the case with your friend. you have my sincere condolences, and i will think of them and you when i say my prayers.
as for the rest of your day, children are amazing in their power to lift and be lifted. while we spend most of our time protecting and serving them, i am constantly amazed at how often my daughter protects and serves me just by being.
makes me get all sentimental and sing dido songs to her in the bathtub. as a matter of fact, thats what i did tonight.
i do so love that girl.

MrsKol
01-06-2003, 02:34 AM
Holly surprised me one day when she grabbed my hand and told me, Mommy, we are family, right? We stick together right?

What could I do? I hugged her and told her yes, we stick together.

Yes, you are right. Children do have an amazing ability to lift us up and make us stronger. Especially when we least expect it.

Billyman
01-06-2003, 03:03 AM
You really have to stop this shit.

You're making me want children.

MAC
01-06-2003, 03:07 AM
yeah, me too

:(

zim
01-06-2003, 04:35 AM
condolences, and if I werent around completely spoiled and poorly behaved kids recently i'd share bman & mac's sentiments.

Asmodeus
01-06-2003, 11:55 AM
Well, yeah, *what they said*...

But then you have to ask the question, do you really want me to breed?

My condolences Mrs. Kol. May your days be brighter than the last.

MrsKol
01-06-2003, 03:22 PM
Thank you. Last night Holly had a hard time sleeping, the same as I, and she asked me to sleep with her. So in her bed we went and while there, I thought she a fallen asleep, and I started crying again.
She put her little arms around my neck and asked me what was wrong. So I told her I had to say goodbye to a friend who had died.
She told me everything was going to be ok, then she proceeded to tell me a story about the angels in heaven and how my friend is there with them. Yes, I know, it is sappy and sweet, but just another example of how the sweetness of kids came lighten your own load.

And then I think of Asmodeus...

:joshers:

Venus
01-06-2003, 03:38 PM
For those of you wanting children, have I got a deal for you!

This beautiful little girl is available Monday thru Friday from 7:30am to 4:30 pm. Help save mommy child care costs, and get your fill of children at the same time!

rage
01-06-2003, 04:00 PM
How much do you pay? :grin:

SimpleSimon
01-06-2003, 04:49 PM
Children are the reason I am still here. In the depths of my depression(s), the knowledge that my kids are in the world, and that I may have the joy of sharing their lives, has prevented me from doing some very final things.

Koliedrus
01-06-2003, 08:39 PM
Mrs. Kol told me that while she and our daughter were holding each other, Mrs. Kol's tears fell into our Holly's hair.

"Mommy, are you crying?"
"Just a little."
"You're tears are making my hair wet."
"I'm sorry, honey"
"It's okay, Mom. It'll dry."

So it shall. It takes time.

Billyman
01-06-2003, 10:33 PM
Ok, that does it. I'm going to Wal-Mart and picking me out a kid.

MrsKol
01-07-2003, 05:05 AM
You'll do better at the grocery store in the produce dept. Sometimes you can buy and get another one free.

ms. bing
01-08-2003, 07:24 PM
they always have specials going on around valentines day. thats when i got mine.

MuffyTheVampyreLayer
01-08-2003, 09:30 PM
Kids are the best. Sorry for your loss MrsKol - but I am glad that your children bring you joy. So many parents just don't enjoy their children, it's a real shame. While I was on holiday I met my niece for the first time, she is a real little sweetheart (and looks exactly like me!) - Her mother has a non-molestation/non-violence order out against my brother so he can't go near them (fair enough too - he's a bit loose with his fists), and she has a new partner now and another child, who is really beautiful too. I was talking to her and she told me that she wished she had never gotten pregnant and that her children had ruined her life - I found that so sad as Tarryn has just enriched my life and made it that much better. Parents like that don't know what they are missing, and the kids suffer as a result.