View Full Version : Grumblemutterfuck
MuffyTheVampyreLayer
11-22-2002, 12:43 AM
Sometimes my life sucks beyond the telling of it. Right now is one of those moments.
I need hugs damnit! Give me hugs!
*hugs Muffy*
You need anything? let me know!
sauron
11-22-2002, 01:57 AM
*big warm teddybear cuddly fuzzy bearhug*
Anything more? :)
- d.
MuffyTheVampyreLayer
11-22-2002, 02:23 AM
Originally posted by sauron
Anything more?
Chocolate. :)
Pianomahnn
11-22-2002, 02:27 AM
I don't think sauron wanted to give you chocolate...
SatansLeftHand
11-22-2002, 02:38 AM
yeah, this is the guy who picks up chicks at the rennfaire.
sauron
11-22-2002, 02:41 AM
I only picked up a few - I let the rest remain on their feet whilst I proceeded to deliver gratuitous amounts of hugs...
- hugs4lyfe
SimpleSimon
11-22-2002, 04:33 AM
Sweeps Muffy into a wrap my arms around her hug!
*Whispers* Can I rub your heiny?
AcidzCraze
11-22-2002, 07:35 AM
*huge hug*
Ok, I finished writing your thesis...granted its filled with paranoid, texas redneck gun-owning, jeffersonian ideology- but hey! it didn't cost you anything :D
*theMAC gives muffy another hug*
is that a kiwi in my pocket or am I happy to see you?
Venus
11-22-2002, 05:49 PM
*hugs* If there's anything at all I can do...
MuffyTheVampyreLayer
11-23-2002, 01:18 AM
I love you guys :)
I feel a lot better today. My Aunt brought down a big box of grans home made cookies - funny how grans cookies can make you feel so much better. Maybe she spikes them :)
Billyman
11-23-2002, 04:47 AM
I refuse to give you simple hugs.
Maybe a tooshie rub or something.
You know I love you muff. ;)
Koliedrus
11-23-2002, 06:16 PM
Originally posted by Billyman
I refuse to give you simple hugs.
*extricate*
Mr. Metaphor back at work wondering if you feel like you've just run a hard race. Pulse still high from the experience?
Talk about it when you're rested. I'll hug you when your words cross the finish line.
I'll wait as long as it takes.
*makes an ass out of him self opening the door for nasty comments*
I didn't think you'd want a hug from me, so this is the best thing I could come up with :D
MuffyTheVampyreLayer
11-24-2002, 02:07 AM
Mute. Peace bro. I appreciate the smile. :)
Kol - I talked about it with Mac - the way I see it, there is nothing I can do about it, so I'm not going to whinge - I'll just grit my teeth and bare it. I just felt like hugs. :)
If you want to know what it's all about, then - In summary, In one day (the day I made this post) I discovered that my Aunts father (who I'm quite close to) has about 2 months to live, my cousin (who I grew up with and is like a sister to me) is the victim of some weird ass genetic mutation which has left her disabled and which is directly attributable to her father having been exposed to agent orange in Vietnam, and I lost my scholarship due to "Masters by Thesis" being interpreted solely as masters by thesis (Disertation and prescription does not count) - So I'm about 15K out of pocket, officially poor, and will probably have to get welfare - an idea which I detest with a passion. But - Like I said, nothing I can do about any of it - so, soldier on...etc.
Koliedrus
11-24-2002, 10:49 AM
I......
.
...
*hugs Muffy and doesn't let go*
Lady Sianna
11-26-2002, 03:10 AM
i may be a little late, but...
*hugs*
MuffyTheVampyreLayer
12-13-2002, 05:05 AM
He died :( .
SimpleSimon
12-13-2002, 05:36 AM
I am sorry to hear about that Muffy. I hope the grief is manageable, I'll be thinking of you.
Koliedrus
12-13-2002, 12:13 PM
Still hugging.
I thought about a "silent post". Nixed the idea in favor of giving you an open invitation to share the love you have for him. No time-limit. I only know that when I lose someone, I need to talk, scream, break something, cry, recall ...
If I had learned about his death in MFC, The Silent Post would have been appropriate. In here, I want you to know that there are indeed words to be said and things to be taught. The way I handle grief is probably different than yours but one thing is common for everyone; the person you lose tends to occupy your thoughts for quite a while.
Muffy, you're welcome and encouraged to put on Teh Cruise's Hat whenever you feel like picking it up. I don't want you to feel obligated, though. It's there when you want it.
Consider Liquid Sep as well. Just understand that if you hug with words, I may not have the strength to respond with much more than a silent post. Take for granted that a short response is a tightening of my arms.
You're alone, but you aren't. Introduce me. Take your time.
My thoughts and heart are with you muffy *hugs*
MuffyTheVampyreLayer
12-15-2002, 06:40 PM
*Me puts on Teh Cruise Hat* :)
His name was Frank. He was the kind of Man you could easily overlook. He never drew attention to himself but rather prefered sitting quietly in the background. He didn't say a lot, he left Elsie (his wife) to be the social butterfly and make chit chat, but when he did say something it was worth listening to.
From when I was about 5 I wished he was my Grandfather (not that I didn't absolutely adore my own gramps) - but he was just so cool that he was the kind of person you wanted to be close to, and I always felt on the outside looking in.
I didn't see him very much up until Mum died. Mum's antisocial behaviour had driven a wedge between her and my Aunty so we didn't get invited to any of that particular side of the families get togethers.
It was my Aunt (his daughter) and Uncle that ended up taking me in after Mum died and Dad rejected me. To understand why Frank was important to me you kind of have to imagine what it was like to be the stereotypical uglyduckling/unwanted child. My Aunt and Uncle are kind of weird, both I think try to be 'good' people - whether they succeed is a matter of Opinion.
My Uncle is, to be blunt, fucked in the head. He has some very strange ideas about assorted things - One of his worse beliefs is that he is actually a good role model - He aspires to be one of those people that guidance counsellors reccomend you associate with, and that the community holds in esteem. To achieve this goal he frequently takes in assorted ragamuffins and misfits (like myself) and then tries to 'help' them by forcing his views upon them, with his fists if necessary, until he bores of them and finds a reason why they should move out. I, being his sisters daughter, became his pet project of sorts. Each night I would be grilled on my social activities, beliefs and physical activity and measured up against his own kids. Of course my cousins were all perfect - how could they not be being his offspring? Now, my cousins are lovely, and I'd do anything for them, but being constantly measured against them and proclaimed a lesser being kind of bugged me at the time.
My Aunt on the other hand just simply couldn't cope with her Husband, still can't as far as I can tell, and as it would be bad of her to take her frustrations out on her own children, she took them out on me.
My own Grandparents (altough I am very, very close to Nan and we are great friends) didn't really know how to treat me when I was a child. I was the walking talking reincarnation of their dead daughter - the golden child who deserved to be wrapped up in cotton wool and praised for my strength, intelligence and special qualities. I was constantly told how unfortunate my life was, how unfair it all was, and how I deserved great things for the tragedy I had suffered.. blah blah blah.
How does Frank fit in to all of this? Quite simple really - He was an uncomplicated, quiet and reserved man. He never tried to change me, he never measured me up against his biological grandchildren, and he never passed judgement on me during the entire time I knew him. In a time where I felt like no one loved or wanted me for who I really was, and that I wasn't fit to live - he treated me exactly the same as he treated my cousins. He'd spend just as much time talking to me, he'd buy me exactly the same presents come christmas, and he'd praise my achievements with just as much enthusiasm as he would expend on his own children.
Most of my family either totally rejected me, abused me or took pity on me and treated me specially - he did nothing special at all.... he treated me as you would any grandchild. Everybody else made me feel like a freak - whether their intentions were good or bad, he gave me sense of normality.
He probably dosn't know how important that was to me, and he probably didn't even consciously realise what he was doing I think he just tried to treat me like he did everyone else - and there was something so bloody important in that, I don't think I can describe it.
He didn't do amazing things for me, he didn't influence or inspire me in any way - he was good and kind and unremarkable - yet he left a lasting impression on me.
I doubt he would have thought that I would miss him should he die - but I will. It's strange how some people who consider themselves to be insignificant can have infinite value for all sorts of reasons.
my respect muffy.... you have it... and your frank as well... my own grandfather shares the same name... and a great deal of the same heart. my heart is with you in this time of sorrow.....
is there a story here about your mum? i'd like to read it if there is.
\V/
MuffyTheVampyreLayer
12-16-2002, 02:09 AM
Originally posted by PB
is there a story here about your mum? i'd like to read it if there is.
\V/
There was... ages ago. It was kind of painful to write and I don't really feel like going through that again just at the moment ... sorry.
Maybe when I get back from holiday :)
Koliedrus
12-16-2002, 01:14 PM
You look good in Teh Hat, Muff. Frank is indeed your grandfather. You adopted him. Genetics don't matter.
I came this |--| close to posting a Silent. Then it struck me that you need to know that your adopted grandfather is now respected across the world because of your words. Your mutual appreciation for each other's lives hit me hard.
Spend a good holiday with Tarryn. When you think about your grandfather, focus on his life, not his death. He seems to be one who would want that. If you get down and someone asks, tell them the truth; you lost your grandfather.
Thank you for allowing me to find him.
As for your mum, don't fret over trying to relive that. You've already posted some of the hard stuff (http://www.thehypertribe.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=5402). There's no need to go there unless you feel the need.
A long post, yes. A tighter hug? Absolutely.
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