Sober

[Cruise Director]

I don't think you really understand. I was good at drinking. I didn't really get in to the "hard" stuff; mostly beer. I love beer. I haven't met a single one I haven't liked. I could explain the difference between a pilsner and a pale ale and I could site good and bad examples of both. Drinking beer became as much a hobby as an addiction. I have a stellar bottle collection and loved to try new beers every time I left the Zion curtain.

I use the word addiction with some contempt. I do not know if I am truly addicted or if it was something I just really enjoyed. I know that I did stop. Cold turkey. I also know that it was hard to stop. It still is. The reason for my confusion is that I can still be around the stuff and often hit the bars with my friends. I just drink water and watch the festivities. I find that I am a little less social than when I was drinking but can still be the life of the party. I really don't need alcohol to have fun. I think the social aspect was what I was shooting for the whole time. I have always had ( and still do have ) beer in my fridge. It would take me months to drain a 12 pack at home, but a typical outing at the bar would consist of 3 to 4 pitchers all to myself. And then the drive home. I'd like to say I was good about drinking and driving but I was as guilty as most. I rarely got pulled over and never got a D.U.I. Apparently I was smooth enough under pressure to talk my way through a traffic stop.

It's been 8 months since I had a beer. I've tasted a beer or two since then and still find the sweet nectar to be appealing, but it's been 8 solid months. I just wanted to tell you that because I am proud of myself. I don't miss the hangovers. I don't miss the drive home. I don't miss the huge bar bill every other night. I don't miss the 52 pounds I've dropped since climbing on that wagon.

8 months. With a lifetime sentence left to serve.

[Mudflap]

Good on ya Cruise.

One of my employees missed 4 days of work 2 weeks ago. One of them was a Sunday. Laying out of work on the weekend is a super big no-no because that's when we operate with only half a crew. He came to work Monday, so I asked him why he layed out of work the previous day without notifying me or anyone else. He said, "I had some things to take care of." I looked at him like he was an idiot and asked him, "Is that all you can give me?" He said, "Yeah." I simply walked away and left him my silence to ponder instead of a lecture. He had already recieved a verbal warning from me for violations of the attendance policy back in September. He knew he was in the wrong and he also knew that I wasn't buying his non-excuse, nor was I going to let it slide. I decided to let him squirm for a couple of days before I took any disciplinary action with him. Well, the following Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, he was again a no-call/no show. I had planned to terminate his employment and write it up as him voluntarily quitting. (three consecutive abscences without notifying me = "I quit") His wife called me that Friday afternoon to let me know that he'd be returning to work the middle of the next week. I asked her why he was missing work in the first place and she was surprised that I didn't already know. It turns out that he had checked himself in to a substance abuse clinic. She was under the impression that they had already notified me that he was under their care. I assured her that they had not and it wasn't THEIR responsibility to do so. She's a manager of people herself, so she understood where I was coming from. She saw to it that all the documentation I needed was faxed to me within the hour.

Well, Mr. Piss-Poor Attendance returned to work last Wednesday. I wrote him up for failure to adhere to the attendance policy. I also cancelled his pending promotion that he had been previously offerred, as well as the pay raise that would have gone along with it. I also withdrew him from the supplemental training program he was scheduled to attend (off site lectures and whatnot).

My boss instructed me to fire him. I respectfully refused and instead implemented the disciplinary actions I mentioned in the paragraph above. The guy has a two month old son. The guy made some mistakes. The guy is actively seeking help for his problem. I was comfortable holding him accountable for his mistakes, but I was not comfortable firing him because his actions inconvienced me and his co-workers for a few days. Not when he was trying to help himself.

I respect this guy less as an employee now because of his lack of professionalism.

I respect this guy much more as a person because he's taking steps toward overcoming his problem.

The substance he has a problem with is beer.

The anecdote above wasn't a necessary contribution, but its somewhat on topic and I felt like giving it anyway.

Cruise, you've earned my respect.

Well, more of it, as it were.

[MAC]

cruise, thats quit a list of things that have improved considering this was something you enjoyed.
I am certainly proud of you.
Its getting pretty rare that a man decides he's just going to do something and he does it because he wants to.
Remove all the specifics and you have a good example for any person who wants to change something in their life.

I put on quite an air around here about my drinking. But much like my sex life, outside of general bullshiting, I keep my personal habits to myself.

When it became apparent to me that my wife was done with me and things where changing I cut waaaay back. but I still looked to it as part of my social interactions. Unfortunately, when life sucks it sucks. When I was truely down, I just let it go altogether and stopped drinking. It didn't do much good as alot of ppl simply assumed that I was drunk because I was upset. It still gets my goat that they didn't know me any better than that. Fuck it, its over.

As time went by I started again, in great restriction and with great relief. But it was intermitant at best and long term sobriety has an effect that I can't explain.
I can't focus.
I am terribly angry.
My creativity drys up.
There is no satisfaction in anything involving another human being.

Its not that these things get magically better when I drink, the grass isn't greener if I have 2 beers every night, but I absolutely cannot stand the way I feel about anything involving the ppl around me when I am sober for long periods of time. Life makes too much noise and the body can't keep up with the mind. Even this place drives me nuts when I don't drink...its ridiculous.

With 1 exception:
When my daughter is with me, not a drop.
I was asked this by her mother, and for the second time in my life I told that woman I would do something unconditionally.
Besides, its not something she can partake in, and I'd rather try to stick to things we can do together. :)

Good for you cruise. If I ever get to visit we'll drink bottled water till our piss is clear and eat steaks we pretend are animals we took pictures of instead. :D

[Billyman]

Cruise, you da man. If quiting entirely is what you wanted to do and you have in fact done so, you are a man beyond men. I applaud you graciously.

Mud, I've always been in admiration of your work ethics and management skills. Rock on man and I mean that.

Mac, good deal, I also see nothing wrong with the way you are handling things. Carry on, you've always been a kick ass guy with your mentality.

However, a few things really.

Sober--I see nothing wrong with having a few or two or whatever is your "limit". Drunk is stupid, I have no recollection of the last time I was drunk (it's been a very loooong time) but I can tell you the last time I had a light buzz. The buzz was the cut off. The buzz isn't even the objective, the enjoying the taste is.

Everything in moderation? We're adults (although we don't always act like it.) :p Enjoy yourselves. Again, everything in moderation.

Control--that's what makes it count. That's what some of you have taken, that's what we all must do.

Kudos.

[Asmodeus]

Well, it has been exactly one month since I have had anything alcoholic to drink.

Overall, a month ain't nuthin.

For me, a month is a very long time. VERY.

I have quit in the past when I felt that my drinking was becoming a problem- too expensive, health problems, etc.

But, over here, I tried the drunk bit to pass the time. Didn't werk. I feel better sober and bored than drunk and bored. I think we all know what can happen to a drunk and bored person. I myself have done that- thus alot of my adventures thread.

So, for me, I is proud of meself for me restraint. Let's see how long it lasts.