How do YOU rate?

[SimpleSimon]

Here's a little test you might enjoy filling out;


A. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
1. Lovemaking.
2. Screwing.
3. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.


B. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
1. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
2. Your blood-test results.
3. Five tequila slammers.


C. You time your orgasm so that:
1. Your partner climaxes first.
2. You both climax simultaneously.
3. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.


D. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
1. Healthy, creative love-play.
2. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
3. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.


E. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
1. The best part of the experience.
2. The second best part of the experience.
3. $100 extra.


F. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
1. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
2. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
3. A conservative estimate.


G. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
1. A myth.
2. An oxymoron.
3. A moron.


H. Foreplay is to sex as:
1. An appetizer is to entree.
2. Primer is to paint.
3. A long line is to an amusement park ride.


I. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
1. "I hope we can still be friends."
2. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
3. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."


J. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
1. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
2. Is uptight and a waste of time.
3. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.


Addendum: Scoring

Your score may be obtained as follows: Make note of the number of your answer to each question, A – J. Having answered all question, add the numbers for your total.

10 – 15 Total pussy-whipped dweeb, who only resembles a man.

16 – 24 Shows a reasonable appreciation of women, but aware of your own worth.

25 – 30 Approaching terminal self-centeredness.



Not original to me, just tweaked a little

[MAC]

30????

dammit

*theMAC trys again*

[Mudflap]

Originally posted by SimpleSimon
Here's a little test you might enjoy filling out;


A. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

2. Screwing.



B. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

2. Your blood-test results.



C. You time your orgasm so that:

1. Your partner climaxes first.



D. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

3. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.


E. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

4. Torture that negates the whole experience.


F. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

3. A conservative estimate.


G. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

4. gone away


H. Foreplay is to sex as:

2. Primer is to paint.



I. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

2. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."



J. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

2. Is uptight and a waste of time.



Addendum: Scoring

Your score may be obtained as follows: Make note of the number of your answer to each question, A – J. Having answered all question, add the numbers for your total.


25 – 30 Approaching terminal self-centeredness.

[Billyman]

A. The answer should be #1 but I prefer #3. ;)

B. Seems now-a-dayz that #2 is the safest bet but the "yes, I'll do you" usually gets me going. :D

C. #1 most definitly. The best policy is to let your g/f, wife or whatever, have several before your big finish. For those of you who are just out to get yours: That's probably a good reason why your still single and not gettin' any.

D. #1. Spontinae' (<---spelling?) keeps the fire burning.

E. Prolly #2. Heh, you call it "cuddling", I call if falling to sleep with my arm thrown over her.

F. You forgot #4. It should read: Really? I haven't noticed, you're beautiful! :rolleyes:

G. Most women will argue that #'s 1 and 2 are the definite. It simply isn't true. We are plentiful. We just don't drive the Dodge Vipers and have the Condo and the beach.

H. I'd have to say #'s 1 and 2. Tis how you get them wimmins to some of them multiple orgo's y0!

I. #1. It sometimes works out that way and actually it should. But truly not always the case.

J. #3=hahahahhahahaha. If I've a woman next to me, why would I be masterbating? She should lend a helping hand. hehe.

[Escape Artist]

A. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
2. Screwing.


B. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
3. Five tequila slammers.


C. You time your orgasm so that:
3. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.


D. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
3. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.


E. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
2. The second best part of the experience.


F. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
1. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.


G. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
3. A moron.


H. Foreplay is to sex as:
2. Primer is to paint.


I. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
2. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."


J. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
3. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.


Addendum: Scoring

Your score may be obtained as follows: Make note of the number of your answer to each question, A – J. Having answered all question, add the numbers for your total.


16 – 24 Shows a reasonable appreciation of women, but aware of your own worth.

[Asmodeus]

:D Don't ask. :D

[mute]

A. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
2. Screwing.


B. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
3. Five tequila slammers.


C. You time your orgasm so that:
2. You both climax simultaneously.


D. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
2. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.


E. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
2. The second best part of the experience.

F. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
2. Not a problem, she can join your gym. (but I don't go to the gym :))


G. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
3. A moron.


H. Foreplay is to sex as:
1. An appetizer is to entree.


I. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
3. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU." (I hope I use that one day)


J. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
2. Is uptight and a waste of time.


Addendum: Scoring

Your score may be obtained as follows: Make note of the number of your answer to each question, A – J. Having answered all question, add the numbers for your total.

16 – 24 Shows a reasonable appreciation of women, but aware of your own worth.