HELP!

[disturbed]

i need some advice. my "best friend" had a fight with her parents last night and got drunk and tried to drive. i got 3 hours of sleep because i was fucking worried about her and i did not know where she was. i found out today what happened and i told her that i was upset and disappointed in her and she did not seem to care. she said it made her "feel better" and that she "enjoyed it." i told her that if she was going to do this to herself then i was not going to stay around to watch it. i thought that she was so much better than this. she gives me hell just for smoking, but it is ok for her to do something like this. she plans on doing the same thing this weekend instead of going out to eat with my for my birthday. what can i tell her or do to make her see that she is wrong? i have taken such good care of her when no one else would and now she does not even fucking care what i think or how it makes me feel to see her this way. what choices to i have besides just letting her find out for herself that what she is doing is wrong?

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Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
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[FallenAngel]

<FONT COLOR="limegreen"> It sounds to me like your surprized by her actions and behavior. Is this type of behavior and attitude out of the ordinary for her? If so their may some other problems that she is not telling you. Many people tend to do radical or out of the nature things when they are in high stress situations. If this is normal behavior for her you may need to sit back and let her learn for herself the dangers that it causes ... If your concerned about her safety (especially drinking and driving) you might try and give her actual example of ppl hurt by this ... people that she actually knows and can relate to is best ... as dangerous what she is doing is ...if you think she might be endangering other ppl lives you might consider turning her in; this will prolly cause her to hate you for awhile .... but in the end it will protect her from harming herself and others ... and might also give her a chance to get over whatever it is she is going thru ... you know her best so chances are you already know what needs to be done but it hurts and you dont want to do it .... but if you care as much as you say you do then you will want to make sure she doesnt hurt or kill herself or others.

</FONT c>

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And one time at band camp...

[This message has been edited by FallenAngel (edited 04-04-2001).]

[Mudflap]

<FONT COLOR="Orange">She doesn't respect you nor herself. If she's drinking and driving and deriving pleasure from the fact that you worry about her when she does that, then she's an irresponsible fucking low-life. You should snatch her car keys and toss them into a deep body of water. People who get so caught up in their own life's problems that they would endanger other people on the open road without a care are SCUM. She doesn't deserve a friend as good as you. Fuck her. Figuratively and literally.</FONT c>

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<FONT COLOR="orange">Even the losers...
Get lucky sometimes.</FONT c>

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Well, it depends. If your friend is planning on drinking and driving again, then the best thing you can do is remove some vital part of the car...
If they are just planning on getting drunk to get over shit, then I guess they might have a problem, but then, I would be the last person to criticise in that case http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/rolleyes.gif I do it all the time...

[Dog Breath]

You are not responsible for her. You have the right to feel the way you do but not to tell her how to live. Try to look at the situation from her eyes.
Just try to relax and be her friend. Help her through this or watch your friendship whither. Try not to take personal responsibility for her. If she asks you for advice tell her how you really feel. If she doesn't ask try to keep your comments constructive and non-threatening. Just be her friend.

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Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
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[MAC]

I neverrrr,evre,evere,evrreer,evare,erves,gets drunk.

And my mom drives me most places.

So what's your poison tonight, Muffy?

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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

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[Wise Womcat]

I personally would blow her off. Just until she comes crawling back. If she doesn't come crawling back, you did the right thing because aparently she didn't value your friendship anyways. As for drunk driving...slap the shit out of her.

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JEEBUS RICE Kaye is a [edit]...has ATTITUDE...

[abs0lutionCFH]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Wise Womcat:
As for drunk driving...slap the shit out of her.

[/quote]


Amen o-wise-one. Drunk driving is the worst possible thing a person could do, aside from getting a mullet. The drunk driving must be put to a stop no matter what, the friend ship can mend its self later as long as your friend is still living, and not in jail for killing another person. Life is a bitch most of the time, and your friend probably wants you to be understanding, but in the back of her mind still wants you to do the right thing. She may not realize it right away, but you helping her see the faults she has fallen into will prove to her in the long run just how good of a friend you are.

[Rabble Rouser]

Well, if I come off as insensitive here, I don't care. If she's out driving drunk, I hope she gets herself killed. Without involving other people. I have no sympathy for drunk drivers and think every one of them should be lined up and shot.

With that in mind, if she's dumb enough to go out and do that, she's not worth your time. Forget about her.

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"You can't post that on the internet! You don't know if it's true!" - Lisa

[VenoM]

<FONT COLOR="Red">remember, best friends won't stab u in the back, but in the front.

I had the same problem with a good friend of my smoking weed + drinking + driving.... i told her that she was a stupid fuck for trying to throw her life away. She's much better than that. I told her if she's on her death bed, to NOT call me, cause i won't be there. I guess i can say that she hurt me by showing me that nothing i say matters, whereas anything she said, i took into consideration. Now, i just don't care for the need to continue my friendship with her, i haven't spoken to her for a long time, maybe going on a year and a half. And all that stress about whether or not she made it from work has been simply faded like the care for her that i once had.

Disturbed, it's really up to u. It's like talking to a child. u tell them no, and they continue to do it. Like talking to Bishop, u tell him to wear a condom with that $2 whore, and he continues to refuse not to http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/eek.gif</FONT c>

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[This message has been edited by VenoM (edited 04-05-2001).]

[Koliedrus]

If you want to keep your friend alive, prevention is your best bet.

You already know that she's planning to put herself (and others) at risk this weekend.

Thwart her plans.

Let air out of her tires (valve-stem, not knife. Temporary solution for immediate predicament)

If you need to call the cops with a description of the vehicle and a plate number in order to save your friend from death, do so!

You have prior knowledge of an event that could change and/or end lives. You have a personal obligation to act on that knowledge!

[disturbed]

i just wanted to thank you all, it's nice to get help from people who have been through the same thing before.

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Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
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[King Bastard]

<FONT COLOR="Red">Yup, taking the car out of thew equation is the move to make. spark plug wires, they have ot come out. air in the itres.. same deal. dont do anything that cant be undone in less htan 3 minutes and with a minimal cost. What I mean is, no sugar in the gas tank. Hope this all works out well for her, and you.</FONT c>

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by theMAC:

So what's your poison tonight, Muffy?

[/quote]
Speights. (Beer). And I drank a lot of it, got a taxi, and feel fine today http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif- Ooooh, and I won a dozen and some money at the quiz... apparently I'm still a fucking genius when I'm drunk! http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

[disturbed]

well, now she blamed it all on me and called me "possesive asshole." do i dont understand if i did something wrong or what now...... oh well http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/frown.gif

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Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form "spokes." Happiness is when he stops.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Disturbed, it is more than likely that your friend is just transferring their issues on to you. It is up to you if you want to ride out the rough spell until your friend sorts herself out (which is what most GOOD friends do), but - don't think that you have behaved badly for a second... there is nothing wrong with being concerned for someone else, especially if they are drink driving. Don't expect them to appreciate your input though. Most people in that sort of situation know that they are behaving prattishly, but would rather stay in denial, blame others, basically just do anything to stop them from dealing with the real issues...