Billyman
07-21-2002, 10:24 PM
It can't be can it? Nah, it ain't real. A satire no doubt. Still funny.
http://www.brokennewz.com/weekend/muppet.asp
Sesame Street to Introduce Crack Addict Muppet
NEW YORK - Sesame Street will soon introduce its crack addict Muppet character to the children of New York City, where 1 in every 3 adolescents are addicted to cocaine or various other mind-altering substances.
The strung-out and developmentally disabled character, who goes by the legal name of Tonya and the street names of “sweet white desire,” “crackpipe annihilator,” and “Jermaine’s bitch” will join the cast of Sesame Street on September 30th, for its 25th anniversary season. Tonya will travel to many, if not all of the 38 other countries that air versions of the educational children’s show which began in the U.S. in 1977, said Joel Schneider, Vice President of Operations for the Childrens Television Workshop.
Schneider announced the new character this week at the National Youth Symposium for Drug Addiction in Washington D.C., where he spoke by telephone to a group of over 700 teenagers who had been free of drugs for anywhere from 1 to 12 hours.
“This character will be a fully-functioning part of the Sesame Street community,” Schneider said. “Aside from occasional relapses and visits to her pimp/boyfriend’s apartment, she will be drug free on the air. We want to set an example for the children, and shatter the belief that once you are addicted to crack, you can never break free from the clutches of withdrawals, a malfunctioning nervous system, and thousands of dollars of drug debt.”
Schneider continued by stating, “Not every show will deal explicitly with Tonya’s dependence on the powdery white stuff. We want to portray her as a normal functioning teenager, who you can touch and interact with, without the fear of contracting the over 12 sexually transmitted diseases that are common in drug users.” “We will be very careful to fashion our messages so that they are appropriate for the age group,” Schneider added. “Our first few episodes deal with controversial yet sensitive subjects, such as ‘I Live in an Abandoned Warehouse’, ‘This Shit is Expensive!’ and ‘Why Does My Boyfriend Jermaine use me for Sex?’”
Although Schneider was given a five-minute standing ovation by the congregation of the Youth Addiction Symposium, not everyone was impressed by the introduction of the recovering crack addict Muppet.
“My mama’s hooked on crack, and we ain’t so bad off…hell, one time her boyfriend Tito gave me a hundred dollar bill just to go stand on the front porch and watch for cops,” said 12 year old Billy Johnson of Staten Island.
“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” 16 year old Dawna Patterson remarked. “I’ve been snorting crack for half my life, and now this skinny bitch gets her own TV show?”
As Schneider concluded his telephone address, he also announced future plans by the Childrens Television Workshop to introduce an abusive alcoholic father Muppet by the year 2005.
http://www.brokennewz.com/weekend/muppet.asp
Sesame Street to Introduce Crack Addict Muppet
NEW YORK - Sesame Street will soon introduce its crack addict Muppet character to the children of New York City, where 1 in every 3 adolescents are addicted to cocaine or various other mind-altering substances.
The strung-out and developmentally disabled character, who goes by the legal name of Tonya and the street names of “sweet white desire,” “crackpipe annihilator,” and “Jermaine’s bitch” will join the cast of Sesame Street on September 30th, for its 25th anniversary season. Tonya will travel to many, if not all of the 38 other countries that air versions of the educational children’s show which began in the U.S. in 1977, said Joel Schneider, Vice President of Operations for the Childrens Television Workshop.
Schneider announced the new character this week at the National Youth Symposium for Drug Addiction in Washington D.C., where he spoke by telephone to a group of over 700 teenagers who had been free of drugs for anywhere from 1 to 12 hours.
“This character will be a fully-functioning part of the Sesame Street community,” Schneider said. “Aside from occasional relapses and visits to her pimp/boyfriend’s apartment, she will be drug free on the air. We want to set an example for the children, and shatter the belief that once you are addicted to crack, you can never break free from the clutches of withdrawals, a malfunctioning nervous system, and thousands of dollars of drug debt.”
Schneider continued by stating, “Not every show will deal explicitly with Tonya’s dependence on the powdery white stuff. We want to portray her as a normal functioning teenager, who you can touch and interact with, without the fear of contracting the over 12 sexually transmitted diseases that are common in drug users.” “We will be very careful to fashion our messages so that they are appropriate for the age group,” Schneider added. “Our first few episodes deal with controversial yet sensitive subjects, such as ‘I Live in an Abandoned Warehouse’, ‘This Shit is Expensive!’ and ‘Why Does My Boyfriend Jermaine use me for Sex?’”
Although Schneider was given a five-minute standing ovation by the congregation of the Youth Addiction Symposium, not everyone was impressed by the introduction of the recovering crack addict Muppet.
“My mama’s hooked on crack, and we ain’t so bad off…hell, one time her boyfriend Tito gave me a hundred dollar bill just to go stand on the front porch and watch for cops,” said 12 year old Billy Johnson of Staten Island.
“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” 16 year old Dawna Patterson remarked. “I’ve been snorting crack for half my life, and now this skinny bitch gets her own TV show?”
As Schneider concluded his telephone address, he also announced future plans by the Childrens Television Workshop to introduce an abusive alcoholic father Muppet by the year 2005.