My Korean Misadventures thread:

[Asmodeus]

Well, I am here...

Ok- Seoul, Korea- population- 17 million

pollution- terrible

accomodations- bad, I can touch the walls

But other than that, it's grand... pffft... what th ehell am I doing here?

But... I need to get going. I will be back with more info and other stuff known as bullshit...

[Koliedrus]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
pffft... what th ehell am I doing here?



I do believe you were voted (http://www.thehypertribe.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=5083&highlight=korea) there. Now we get to find out if taking life-changing advice from a grroup of well-meaning "strangers" is wise or is the result of cranial injuries.

HA! You have net access! I'm satisfied. Let the stories flow.

Seriously, progress updates often, please. Update your profile so your email address is accurate. Don't want to lose you.

[Cruise Director]

Oh, yeah! That's what I forgot to tell you about my buddy's trip to Korea! The POLLUTION!!!

Updates updates updates.

[Mudflap]

Dude. Asian chicks. Cheer up.

[Mudflap]

Say, is it too early to place my order for one hot Korean chick? How many will they let you bring back home to the U.S. ?

[Asmodeus]

As for internet access, I am using the skool's. I won't get my own till I get my own place- yet for another week or so. So be patient.

Korean chicks--- hehe... never you mind...:D

As for adventures... that will have to wait. I don't have alot of privacy at the moment as well as a feeling of urgency for using the skool's puter... but they will be coming. Rest assured... hehehe...

Till then...

[TotalAnarchy]

Fuck, mano. Have fun. And save some of the money so you can afford shit when you get back home. Or give it to me. Either way.

[PB]

Well I hate to hear it isn't all that it was cracked up to be.

And to think I almost hugged a guy at the video store the other night because I thought it was you.... oops! The guy didn't seem to mind though.


And hey if all else fails.. you should atleast still have the memory of my sweet smile before you left.. or of my friend that i tried to hook you up with for whatever it was worth..

Sorry you didn't exactly find what you were looking for.


You had better write me boy///// Grrrr... lol

Enjoy... (but don't enjoy the hookers too much man)

*kiss*

PB

[Mudflap]

Originally posted by Psychotic _ Bitch


Enjoy... (but don't enjoy the hookers too much man)



PB

Nonsense. ;)

[PB]

Originally posted by Mudflap


Nonsense. ;)

Muddy.. I'm disappointed.....

Don't you know that those hookers over there are nasty? Probably carrying diseases that we do not even know about yet.

I'm just wishing more than "fire pants" for him... only looking out for his best interest... :) *sweet grin*

PB

[Mudflap]

Originally posted by Psychotic _ Bitch


Muddy.. I'm disappointed.....

I have that affect on women.

Don't you know that those hookers over there are nasty?

No, I don't know that. I've never been there.

Probably carrying diseases that we do not even know about yet.

Asmodeus > disease

I'm just wishing more than "fire pants" for him...

There's more?

only looking out for his best interest... :) *sweet grin*

Screw that. I'm looking out for ME. I want to read stories about a hooker that fellates him while hanging upside down from the celing while her twin sister does a strip tease wearing a bikini made of orange peels.

Or something similar.

*evil grin*

PB

[zim]

You are bad people.

[Asmodeus]

Awww PB... I'm touched... oh yeah, lower- lower...hehehe...;)

And Muddy... you de man. An orange peel bikini... I like yer style. I mighta gone to visit ya before I left and you could have shown me some of those places that do things like that. *snickers*

Actually, there is one fo them there hooker places DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM THE SKOOL! Which I find kewl in the highest regard. I am currently asking around to check on price, cleanliness, etc... I will keep ya'll posted. hehehe

And DT, I ain't no bad people. I'm the worst, thank you so very much. I'm teaching the rest the finer qualities of life, perversion and plausible deniability. So HA!!!

[Deadpool]

Slant eye like Pale face. You in luck.

[Koliedrus]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
Actually, there is one fo them there hooker places DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM THE SKOOL! Which I find kewl in the highest regard. I am currently asking around to check on price, cleanliness, etc... I will keep ya'll posted.

Once you get established, organize a field trip for your students.

Priceless educational material and diplomacy all wrapped up in one neat package.

Edit: Pictures are an obligation. Work on that.

[PB]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
Awww PB... I'm touched... oh yeah, lower- lower...hehehe...;)



YOU WISH!


Haven't you learned your lesson about that just yet/ from the last time you tried to show me all that? DOH!

A friend is something I'll always be,
You need to get laid, just not by me!

*sticks tongue out* *grins innocently*
But ya know I loves ya right?


I so could have been evil though.. you know this right?
It's ok though.. you know you think I am a sexy bitch! lol


*Hugs Asmodeus*

PB

[Asmodeus]

*grabs tongue and stretches it out further* like that huh? :D hehe... hmmm a female Gene Simmons...

You do know I was kidding right? I hope ya do... anyway

For the rest of ya'll- supposedly that place across from the skool runs about 40,000 wan, roughly $35 America, or so... come on Muddy... lol.

I should be moved my early next week. And hopefully within a week will have internet at the place. So I can send the long missives about the trip and what it is like here as well as pics...

Oh yeah, tribals, try not to have too much fun without me... god this place sucks...

[Asmodeus]

Oh yeah, by the way it is Saturday here and yes it is a work day dammit!...oh well... anyway, the guy I am taking over for has decided to leave earlier and leave his last 2 classes for me. I tried to get out of it- I wanted a last free weekend to myself- but it was not to be. So sad...

So here I am, about to teach 2 classes and having no knowledge what so ever of what I am to be teaching. They(each) class has it's own set of books and curriculum per se. But, I don't even know what those are or for any of the classes for that matter. The world is against poor Asmodeus.

But, if I remember right, at least one of these classes are the oldest crowd- around 15 or so. Maybe...hehehe... me and my dirty mind. Hey, it's not my fault that some of the students wear those damn alluring short skirted uniforms... I still don't know what the rule is for seducing students... :confused:

Sure any of ya'll don't want to visit or get a job here. They are almost always hiring...

Also, as related to the last stated idear, I need some conversation aka buds that are not freaking alcoholics... I don't mind a drink every few hours but these guys all go out till dawn EVERY FREAKING NIGHT! Tis a bit sad actually.

[Billyman]

Asmodeus, do you know where Buson or maybe it's Puson is? If so, how far are you from there?

[rage]

sounds cool, if maybe not as cool as you expected. So what are the qualifications for that position anyways? How much school must you finish here before you can go over there? ;).

Can't wait to hear more about the hoo.....*cough* excuse me, your "experiences" over there. :).

[MrsKol]

Hey,

While you're there, do you plan to attend any of the World Cup finals? I'm rooting for the Irish team. They really display some balls and finesse during the game with Camroon.

Here's a link if you're interested:

http://sports.yahoo.com/m/wcs

[Asmodeus]

Billyman- it's Puson and it is all the way across the country from me. Not sure exactly how far away, but it is a long ways.

Rage- if you have a bachelors degree and are a native english speaker, that's the requirements...

Mrs. Kol- no World Cup for me. I know nothing about soccer except they kick a ball and have alot more endurance than I do. I have watched a few games on tv, but as for tickets they are sold out. They sold out all the games here in Korea in 10 minutes.

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
Billyman- it's Puson and it is all the way across the country from me. Not sure exactly how far away, but it is a long ways.



Hmmmmm, damn, my brother is in Puson. Looks like I wont be setting you guys up for beer. Maybe an Email exchange so you guys could discuss things from one side of the country to another?

[Asmodeus]

I hate kids... god I fucking hate kids!!!

I had to teach a fucking kindergarten class... all I wanted to do was kill the little shits. I am supposed to teach 2 more- 3 total... and yes, I am gonna do my damndest to get out of all of them. I can't teach them english if I want to kill them...

Get me the fuck out of here!!!!!!!!!

[SimpleSimon]

<marquee>SUCKER!</MARQUEE>

[TotalAnarchy]

Thou doth protest too much, methinks.

[Asmodeus]

Protest too much??? Nah... that was a rather calm headed representation of the situation. Now that I have had time to get further steamed about it, my lingo may be a bit more verbose but my loathing and hatered of the little heathens has not dimmed in the least. That asnwer your question?

And, I guess you could call me a sucker SS... but I have an avenue out... I still have the return plane ticket at my disposal... which is tempting at the moment.

But, I guess I will do this to the skool- if I do leave I will give them a notice like a normal job. Maybe not 2 weeks, but I will give a warning. How's that for allegience? hehe

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

One of my girlfriends said that working in a kindergarten was the mose effective method of contraception she had ever encountered ;)

[Asmodeus]

Originally posted by MuffyTheVampyreLayer
One of my girlfriends said that working in a kindergarten was the mose effective method of contraception she had ever encountered ;)

Oh God hell yes!!!!!!! That's the fucking truth...amen sista!!! come on oiver and I will buy ya a beer or something...

Well, it is nowl 9:50pm...and I just got out of class... nothing liek 13 hours of teaching teh same shit over and over.

I need booze and sex in rather copious quantities at the moment.

[TotalAnarchy]

go visit the world cup and hit on those lovely Dutch chicks.

[Koliedrus]

Originally posted by Asmodeus

Get me the fuck out of here!!!!!!!!!

As with getting you there in the first place, we can only provide reasons for you to stay or leave. You're the one with the return ticket.

What's your projected length of stay if you decide to do so?
Is the money worth the discomfort?
Have you given it a chance or are you deciding to ditch too soon?
Tried the whorehouse yet?

Ah, skip all that. Just make enough money to get your big ass to Jump 2003 and try not to scare my kids too much or I'll have to bite you on the kneecap. That would suck for you because then you'd have to explain to my family why you twisted off my head like a bottle cap.

[Princess_Heather]

The title of this thread is misleading... you had me pretty excited for a minute.

[Asmodeus]

I got me a date...

I can't remember when I had a legimate date... a for real date with a woman... and yes, it has been quite a while.

Sorry PB, I didn't consider that a date, we both knew our limitations. That was a dinner between friends. :D

We are going for coffee after I get out of skool- around 8:30PM... I am taking another guy's last class because he has to go out of town or something. ...yadda yadda

And yes, Muddy, she is Korean. Eventually I will try to get a pic of her for ya'll. She is smart as well as perty- which brings us to the question: why is she going out with me?

I have no idea. It must be because of my charm and good looks.

Or, it may have something to do with what one of my students said today in class, and I quote: "Brad teacher has a big dong."

And no I have not showed her... so there... and yes, it took quite a while for me to get control over the class after she said that. Then I got a translation and everything went back to chaos yet again.

Oh well, another day in the life and times of a neural sociopath who just so happens to be a teacher.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

You better tell her how you feel about children before you take this any further ;)

[MAC]

[made up shit]
Just don't touch her upper thigh.
Thats a caning offense in Korea.
or they'll make a water chestnut stir fry out of your nads and feed it to you.
[/made up shit]

how much does a date cost in Korea?

[Mudflap]

Does she have a sister?

[Cruise Director]

Remember to take the tube sock off your wiener. Chicks hate that. ( NOT speaking from personal experience ;) )

[Asmodeus]

Muffy- she knows... she also knows why I won't have kids yet... because of my dislike for cute little tikes. She understands, so HA!

MAC- just coffee was 4,500 a person for 1 cup. Course, that is wan, but it still like $4 american... unlimited refills... as for dinner and a movie et al... I have no idea.

Muddy- I have no idea... I suppose I can ask...

Cruise- so now we know the true Cruise... he is the Director all right... not personal experience huh??? sounds like a Porky's movie to me.

[Cruise Director]

Originally posted by Asmodeus


Cruise- so now we know the true Cruise... he is the Director all right... not personal experience huh??? sounds like a Porky's movie to me.

Could I save my reputation if it was known that this "alleged" tube sock was HUGE? :D

[Asmodeus]

That would be up to MAC. If he can come up with a way to rationalize it, then I will allow it.

Now, if it was Muddy... I dunno... hehehe:D

[Asmodeus]

Well, US and South Korea tied. Thank god... look at it this way:

1. I am in South Korea and they take their soccer very fucking serious. And they still bitch and moan about that Ono thingy at the Olympics. After that one guy scored his goal he did a imitation of ice scating or somesuch... very bad taste if you ask me.

2. If Korea had won, then I would have heard that US is bad, you suck etc for several months.

3. If the US had won, there would have been riots here in the damn teacher's lounge, not to mention Seoul itself. It would not have been safe at all to be white and walking around for at least a month afterward. These peoples is crazy.

But, it was a tie- 1 to 1. A draw game.

Oh well, what I get for coming over here...

[gone away]

the us didn't lose? damn ;)

glad you're safe :O

[Asmodeus]

YEah, it's kinda amazing americans are any good at team sports considering we spell team with 2 I's-TIIM. hehehe

Thanks GA...

[estero]

I'm quite impressed with the Americans.

[MrsKol]

I have been as well. The Irish are my favorite team, then the USA, but I have been very impressed with the team-men sports
attitude that the Americans have been displaying.

[gone away]

ireland forever

i got up at six to watch the game today

well worth it

[Asmodeus]

And the number 1 team in the world.... never scored not one goal and are outa here... See ya France, wouldn't wanna be ya. Talk about irony... course don't take my word for it. I know nothing about soccer.

[gone away]

ireland drew spain

fuckles

[disturbed]

I am still trying to figure out all of the rules to this game, if it wasn't for the thick irish accent of one of the broadcasters I think I would have it figured out by now :D

[skalie]

Originally posted by disturbed
I am still trying to figure out all of the rules to this game

No hands allowed.

And you are allowed to bounce the ball off your head.

And act like a girl.

[Asmodeus]

Well, I finally saved some of the shit(updates) on a disk... so now I am posting them. Be patient for the pics... they will be coming in the next few days.

Now I am here. Here is a list of what to expect in Seoul, in no real particular order.

1. the smell- It stinks here. The sewage system I think was installed in the 1940¡¯s with the idea or intent for it to be serviceable to maybe 2 million people. Seoul now has a population of 17 million. It just doesn¡¯t quite work¡¦

2. the population- As stated, it is 17 million. I have been to the roof of the building the skool¡¯s in, 15 some odd floors. You can look in almost every direction. Just from the size, land wise, looks about the same, maybe a bit larger than Tyler, Texas. 17 million people in about the same amount of land as Tyler- which has a population of around 90,000. Talk about cramped.

3. the pollution- if anyone has been around Tyler Pipe for any amount of time, you would have noticed the burnt metal smell of the place as well as the metallic dust that is everywhere. It is rather much the same here. Metal dust that covers everything. I have never seen a place where almost everyone- even the locals- hack and cough, spit, etc with such profusion. It is a bit disgusting. Again, being on the roof of the skool building, the pollution does obscure a bit of the landscape. Worse on some days. Mornings around dawn are terrible. At that time it is just hard to breath period. It kind of makes you wonder when you start walking around and about every third person you meet has some sort of surgical mask on their face if you have made the right decision to come here.

4. the people- Expect to be stared at. Not just because you may be taller or bigger or whatever than everyone else. But, just because you are a white person. Didn¡¯t these people¡¯s mothers teach them not to stare? They may mean nothing by it but it is beginning to annoy the hell out of me. And that is not a good thing at all. I sometimes do things a bit abruptly when I am annoyed. I mean, I nod my head or smile or do something that in body language basically means hello, and all they do is stop walking and stare. I mean literally, there have been several times when a car is driving and the driver sees me and will stop and stare- blocking traffic. I never considered myself what is called a ¡°traffic stopper¡± but damn¡¦ not sure if I should be annoyed or flattered. And no, I don¡¯t like it. I have never liked nor wanted to be the center of attention. Some people want center stage. I do not.

5. the language- it makes no sense. Korean language has only 650 words in it. You can use yer own brain to realize that translation from Korean to English and vice versa is gonna be a bit strained- as well as just everyday talk. Some words mean like 5 or more different things. Hell, English comes up with almost as many new words a year as Korean has words¡¦

6. the traffic- as with the lack of land area and the ridiculas population you can imagine what the traffic is. And you would be wrong. It is worse. Imagine 3 lanes of traffic, that is 3 traffic lights worth, 3 different directions of traffic, when the light turns green, they all try to merge going in the same direction. I mean, 3 different directions of traffic having the same green light. Like you are on the south loop in Tyler and you have south bound Broadway traffic as well as east and west bound loop traffic trying to all make it on south Broadway, right during 5 o¡¯clock traffic¡¦at the same time. Pandamoneum, a total clusterfuck, chaos¡¦etc. And the bad thing is, not even 1/1000 people here even have any type of vehicle. And as for the smaller streets, there are no stop signs nor redlights or anything to slow traffic. You have no idea when a car is gonna come from a side street and go straight or make a turn. Nor do they apply their brakes. And yes, there are a lot of accidents here. I have been hit by 2 little scooters since I have been here. Very low speeds and little or no damage to either me or them. For the most part, because of my size, they will brake and let me cross. People yield for me, I don¡¯t yield for people. Considering I am bigger than most of their cars here. You couldn¡¯t pay me enough to drive thru this city. For the most part, when there is a wreck, they just disentangle their vehicles and go about their way. I have yet to see a car or van or truck that doesn¡¯t have scrapes or dents all over it. Even the BMW¡¯s, etc have dents up one side and down the other.

7. another people- there are crowds here- everywhere. No matter where you go or what time, it will be crowded. And for the most part they will not give way when walking. I try my best not to bump into people and all that. I hate crowds as well as hate being touched by strangers. But, after being jossled around like a pinball machine, I quit ducking away¡¦ they start to realize I am a lot bigger than they are. I weigh as much as one of their cars. I won¡¯t take shit off anyone. And I have an attitude. After laying waste to several dozen people who are picking themselves up in my wake as I pass, I get stared at some more.

8. wrong stereotype- As for me, I always thought of Orientals as quiet, industrious people that tended to their own affairs, etc. Nope¡¦ these are about the loudest, annoyingest, and obnoxious people I have been around. Sitting here in my room, all of a sudden one or more of them will start talking- yet it ain¡¯t a speaking voice they are using. I sometimes feel like I am in trailer park on Mars for all the noise and filth.

Also, I will grant them as being a rather energetic people. They almost always are moving and going somewhere. But for all their energy, very little seems to really get done. I mean they are always building something, yet, it either never gets completed or it is built, then 3 weeks later it is demolished again and something else is being built in the same place, which will be the same thing, look the same, have the same amount of floors, etc. It is not that they are a stupid or lazy people, but they do seem to lack a bit of wisdom and common sense. Why build a building, then in 3 weeks, tear it down only to build another one exactly like it? I see no point in it. And they do that a lot here.

Another case in point- when they had the winter Olympics here in 1988 or whenever, they built a new stadium for it to impress everyone with how industrious Seoul is etc. Well, they used it for the Olympics. It has yet to be used since. Why spend that many millions for a building and use it for what? 2 weeks? If? And that is not the only one. They have approx. 28 other such stadiums built for a game or some other sporting event, then never use it again. They built anywhere between 8 and 15 stadiums in Korea for the World Cup. Why? They have quite enough stadiums for the games already built. Yet they built more. And after the World Cup is over, they will more than likely never be used again. Oh well¡¦ I guess that is how things are done on Mars.

9. the water- if any of you have been to Mexico you know that the water is bad. But, it don¡¯t stink¡¦ it just gives you the runs for a few days till you get used to it. Here, on the other hand, not even the locals drink it. Most times the water coming out of the faucet smells like sewage. Rank, dirty smelling but just mildly nauseating. But, sometimes, like this morning for example, it the water smelled like dead fish- long dead fish. Talk about rank. It was a cloying smell. I was brushing my teeth and actually had to force myself to rinse my mouth out with the shit. Tasted like dead fish too. Sometimes you have to really decide whether it is better to take a shower or to go dirty for the water. If you run the water for a few minutes it seems to help. Course, that may only be doing is getting your nose used to the smell. You have to order bottled water to be delivered every other week to drink or you are going to the store every day for water.

Sure I can¡¯t talk anyone into visiting? Please?

Can I go home now?

[Asmodeus]

My Monday/Wed/Fri classes.

1. The worst. The 3 boys had a water fight and 2 of the girls, well, one of them anyway, did something to the other to make her cry. They don¡¯t know enough English to explain what happened and all that. That and someone ripped some pages out of my lesson book. I had half of the day¡¯s lesson to go on. I ended up using a student¡¯s book and trying to copy it on the chalkboard. That class did not go very well at all.

2. From what I remember of it, it went pretty well. Well considering that all the rest of my classes went well compared to the first.

3. Went well from what I remember. I think this is one of the classes that has a cutie. A girl that when she gets older will be a very beautiful woman. I want to say that this was supposed to be the slow class. Sharon etc telling me that this class is stupid etc. If this is the class it was the smartest I had throughout the day. All we covered was half of the assigned material, what I was supposed to cover, but they could have done several days worth. All nice kids but one I think has difficulty with ADD¡¦ he strains not to run around etc¡¦ smart kid but needs some chemical help. Nice class.

4. From what I remember, a nice class. A slightly younger crowd, and didn¡¯t know spoken English very well, but could read pretty well. I covered the day¡¯s materiel in short order and used the vocabulary for the day for hangman. Not a bad class.

5. This class was a bit strained, but not too bad. My largest class by far, with I think 11 kids. There is one girl that sits next to me, oh man¡¦ if I could get away with it, I would seduce this girl in a heartbeat. She is fucking gorgeous. She has perky titties, a perfect body, perfect face, fuck me eyes¡¦ shit, I have a hard on just thinking about her. We covered the material in fairly short order and spent about 30 minutes playing hangman with the day¡¯s vocabulary.

My Tuesday/Thurs/Sat classes- now changed to nix the kindies:

1. Kingergarten- 35 minute class, I walked in and 15 minutes later I walked out to try to calm my nerves so I wouldn¡¯t bitch slap some of the little shits, I walked back in and 10 minutes later I walked back out to calm down, I walked back in till the bell and I was out the door before the kids were.

Right after this class I told the director that I would not do any more kindergartens after today. I tried to get out of the next 2, but couldn¡¯t¡¦ she wasn¡¯t happy about it but she guessed that if she tried to force me I would have left. I almost did in any case. During that break I almost went back to my apartment. If I would have I would have just kept going¡¦ why I didn¡¯t leave the skool. I spent most of the break on the roof.

At least she agreed to take kindy off my schedule. She then called the recruiter that hired me to come to the skool to talk to me¡¦ to see if I would tell him anything different than I told her. She could tell I wasn¡¯t happy¡¦ gee, whoda thunked it?¡¦ yadda yadda blah blah.

2. another Kindergarten- again, a class full of little shits¡¦ what I have been wondering is why the hell do they have foreign teachers teaching kindergarten class? The foreign teachers know no Korean and the kids know no English¡¦ WTF??? To me it sounds like a clusterfuck, which with me, it is.

3. another kindergarten¡¦ nuff said.

Had another break¡¦ still didn¡¯t go to the apartment cause I knew I would get a taxi and go to the airport¡¦ spent it on the roof again.

4. regular class- wasn¡¯t too bad¡¦ anything is better than kindergarten.

5. another not too bad¡¦ in case you have noticed, I am not putting down too many specifics because I don¡¯t remember any or very much¡¦ I do this intentionally to try to save some part of my sanity.

Another break¡¦ again, on the roof.

6. another not bad¡¦

7. another not bad

8. this one I remember some specifics- it is a grammer class¡¦ me teaching a grammer class¡¦ fuck a duck in heat with a dildo just don¡¯t forget the French ticklers¡¦ the reason I switched from an English major was because of grammer¡¦ oh well¡¦ At one point- after introducing myself and asking how ya doin and all that shit, I found out what page the kids were on. Then I told them to be quiet for a bit so I(the teacher) could learn what I am supposed to teach them for the day. And yes, they all had a wild look on their face too¡¦ WTFH??? Though this class ain¡¯t bad at all cause they have all lived in the US and know the lingo, just not the specifics¡¦ and they still leave off some articles(not clothing Mudflap you pervert) and their tenses are off as well. Oh well¡¦

What the hell am I doing here?

[Asmodeus]

To start, apparently I look like a terrorist or something. It took me over an hour to get thru the fucking checkpoint. Both times. Note for DFW- there are no smoking areas except outside. WTF is up with that? So I go in, oh get this- they tell me to show up at 7pm, the fucking desk for Korean Air doesn¡¯t open till 9:30pm¡¦ ain¡¯t that a hoot? So I had to wait around for 2 and a half hours for the desk to open.

Now we get to me looking like a terrorist. Once I got thru the desk part I had to go to the security checkpoint. Everyone else just zipped right on thru. They didn¡¯t pay much attention to them. But, there I was, head and shoulders above everyone else- including the security personnel. So, I shove my carryon thru the little conveyor belt and step thru the metal detector. Everything starts lighting up like Christmas like usual. Everytime I have gone thru one of the damn things they all light up like I was a long lost friend or something. But, what was not the normal was the 2 security guys calling for the sherriffs and one of the security guys puts his hand on his gun. Get this, I am wearing a windbreaker jacket- it was cool out- a cowboy hat, boots, a nice shirt, and pressed jeans, etc etc. A rather striking and well-dressed individual if I do say so myself. Standing with my hands raised with a guy who thinks he is Pancho Villa.

How¡¯s this for southern hospitality? WTF???

Oh, and when all this happened some of the people in the crowd started a panic- yelling etc, I guess the translation of ¡°He¡¯s a terrorist!!!¡± and all that shit¡¦ people started to scream and run and try to get away from me¡¦ boy, am I enjoying the first few hours of my sabbatical¡¦

Needless to say, when the cops showed up, I had to follow them to a private room and strip. Oh, get this- once I got in the room and mostly stripped they informed me that I had to go out and get my carryon luggage for them to inspect. But¡¦ they wouldn¡¯t allow me to get back dressed. I had grabbed my pants then they said they needed to search them etc¡¦ I politely informed them that if they found anything or if there was anything in them that I hadn¡¯t put there they themselves would answer for it. Very painfully¡¦ I can glare real good and be very convincing when I get the mind to.

So there poor old Asmodeus was, dressed in socks, shirt and boxers walking in the middle of DFW Airport to get my luggage to be inspected, trying to keep the front of his boxers from flying open. Yup, I was having a blast, let me tell you.

Well, I get back and all that, did the yes sir, no sir bit, and finally made it out.

At least they didn¡¯t try to stick a finger up my ass.

I had to go back thru the checkpoint, take everything out of my carryon and do the metal detector thing again. And it again went off like fireworks. So, I had to take my boots off, jacket, hat, belt, etc., again. My laptop I had to take out of the case so they could run it thru. Well, it went thru but they wouldn¡¯t allow me to get it and put it on the floor because my boots hadn¡¯t made it out yet. So I had to wait. More people kept coming thru and my laptop was eventually pushed out and over the little railing for the carryon rack thing and it hit the floor. And can you give me a yup, I was pissed? The fuckers.

Finally my boots made it out and I was able to get dressed and go my way. So, I had comendeered one of the little tables so I could put my laptop in the case, and put the little tray on so I could get my change, keys and wallet back into my pants. One of the security ladies walked up, picked up the trays and threw them on the floor saying that the table was for security use, spilling everything all over the place. Not the best way to get myt better side let me tell you. I nodded my head like a good sheep and calmly put everything back in the trays and then put the trays back on the table. She walked over to do it again and I shouldered her out of the way very forcefully. She flew back into the conveyor thingy. I didn¡¯t even look at her. I went about getting my shit back where it belonged. She started to cuss and to call the other security guys again. I was shoving my wallet in my pants and blew her a kiss as I walked off. Stupid bitch.

And I still had 3 hours till the flight. I waited about an hour and a half and I needed a cig. So, I had to go back outside to smoke. Then, to get back in, I had to go back thru the fucking checkpoint. And guess what? It went off like fireworks yet again. I had to take my boots off, jacket, hat, take everything out of my carryon, etc etc. WTF??? I asked them if we had to go thru this again. That made them mad and they took their fucking time getting my shit back to me.

So there I was, poor old Asmodeus, getting the shaft, etc¡¦ so I did what I normally do to stupid people who are too aware of their own self serving importance- I made fun of them. I started using most of the names from the Dukes of Hazzard, Ennis, Rosco Peco Train, etc¡¦ you know how it goes.

But, this time, there were 2 different sherriff¡¯s there that had a little more of an open mind. I told them what had happened earlier etc, and they saw for themselves what the other security people were doing, and they stepped in and put a stop to it. Made them quit scanning and re scanning my shit, and let me go my way. I thanked them of course. But, I was too pissed to remember to tell them about them dropping my laptop. I may still write DFW a little note explaining that.

And even after all that shit I needed another cig, but I restrained myself. I almost did it out of spite just to make the security people¡¯s lives a living hell. To tell the truth I am even now tempted to do it or something like it¡¦hehehe. On hindsight, I should have just burned one in the damn bathroom¡¦ oh well.

And to think, I have yet to even get on the plane. Me and my adventures¡¦

Finally I got on the plane. I brained myself in the doorway- whoda thunked it? Short people, short plane. And the signs for exits etc, were little plastic strips sticking out from the wall so people could see them. I broke 2 before I found my seat.

There was also something on the plane I was allergic to, mold or something. It was a 14 hour flight and I sneezed and my nose ran the entire time. I couldn¡¯t get any sleep¡¦ it was terrible.

For the second- all of the bulkhead seats(those with no seats in front of them, thus more feet room) were all taken by little 5 foot tall munchkins. Talk about insult to injury. So, I got the next best thing. A seat right in front of the movie screen. It had all of 2 extra inches of feet room, which for me, was nothing, why bother?

So there I was, head leaned against the movie screen, blocking the bottom half- hey it was either that or sit up straight and block the entire thing- sneezing and coughing¡¦ ahhh, I love flying.

Oh yeah, since everyone brought way too much carry on luggage, my own was stashed way up front where I couldn¡¯t get to it. And that was where I had my stash of Benedryl. Such is life. I was sneezing and hacking so much I couldn¡¯t even watch Harry Potter¡¦ dammit¡¦

Then, once I finally got to Korea, the person that was supposed to meet me was 2 hours late. So there I was, walking around the airport, not knowing anything of the language- couldn¡¯t even ask anyone where a bar or restaurant or anything was- wondering why the hell was I there. At least my nose was starting to get under control.

Well, finally someone showed up, then we had the fun time of trying to find where she parked. Someone else had drove and she didn¡¯t know where they had parked. So there we were walking around the airport parking lot(which is rather large) and me still sorta sick, definately not feeling well, and carrying about 300 pounds of luggage. Fun fun.

Well, after about a 5 mile hike we found the car. I had to stow the luggage because neither of them were strong enough to lift my duffels much less stow them in the trunk. Then they had the temerity to make me sit in the back seat. I felt like a sardine. Right shoulder against the window, left shoulder against the roof, legs sprayed out to the other side of the car, and my head wedged somewhere in the middle. And yes, I got a rather nice cramp out of it, thank you very much.

Then we had an hour drive thru Seoul to get to the apartment. I could already tell, right then and there, that I was gonna have a REAL good time in Korea. Oh yes¡¦ loads and loads of fun.

Well, we finally get to the apartment and I had to grab the luggage cause they couldn¡¯t lift any of it. Up 3 flights of stairs. I brained myself on the stairs as well. Short people make short roofs as well as short flights of stairs and airplanes. Right when you walk in the gate to the stairs, there is like a balcony or something upstairs- well that is the corner that brained me. A cement underpinning for want of a better description. I had a knot on my forehead for 2 days. They never even noticed when I almost went over backwards. I still had all my luggage on my shoulders, so my balance was not exactly where it should have been, then I hit the durn thing at full walk, KAPOW! Dear old Asmodeus was almost a gonner, almost went over backwards right into the street.

And thank you so much Kol, for stating the obvious- yes, everywhere I go- the sky is falling, the sky is falling. *shakes fist* Why I aughta¡¦

Well, so there I was, at my new humble abode- of which I can spread my arms and touch both the walls at the same time- with a rising knot on my forehead, a hum dinger of a headache, sleep deprivation from 2 days without, as well as just the shock of being on a different planet- woops, I meant in a different country, I really did.

I AM ON MARS!!! And surrounded by Marvin the Martians¡¦ AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I am seriously debating on making this my last adventure. Too much fucked up shit happens to me.

Anybody want to visit???

[Asmodeus]

I got gropped yesterday by on eof my female students...

She thought I wasn't paying enough attention to her or something. So she reaches over and grabs me. Not a painful grab, more like she knew what she was doing and had done it befiore. It was more of a stroke.

Talk about a Wayne's World Sha-wing!!! Needless to say I didn't make any mention of it or even reprimand her about it. I just change dteh subject and paid attention to her...

And yes Muddy, she is a little hottie.

[zim]

Yer using a non standard english language font that gives us wacky characters for your punctuation.

[Mudflap]

You have a digi-cam? I want pics. I'll host 'em for ya.

e-mail me Mr. Teacher.

[philjit]

:)

[Asmodeus]

Nothing I can do about that bud. Sowwy. This the skool's puter. And I have to hit a certain key just to get english lingo.

[Asmodeus]

Mr. Teacher talking here... no digicam in the classes as of yet... soon to change once I can figure out a way to justify naked pics of students without being arrested and fired. :D

So HA!!!

[MAC]

*the veil of confusion lifts and all is seen clearly*

ahhhhhHHHhhhhhhh........
I understand why you went to korea.....women are second class citizens.....and you think you have diplomatic immunity.....

perv.

leave the little korean girls alone and go watch porn or hire hookers :p

[Koliedrus]

A bit off topic (way off once Asmo changes his sig):

I shaved my ass and that annoying "y'all" disappeard from my vocabulary! And no more dingleberries!!! :D

Big Money, here I come!


Er, right after my aloe treatment.

[Koliedrus]

That's enough.

You can come home now.

[PB]

Originally posted by Koliedrus
A bit off topic (way off once Asmo changes his sig):

I shaved my ass and that annoying "y'all" disappeard from my vocabulary! And no more dingleberries!!! :D

Big Money, here I come!


Er, right after my aloe treatment.

Hmmmm... ok... I'm going refrain from my oringinal thoughts about this one Kol.


Anyways. Asmodeus I thought you were bound by contract to stay there. What would happen if you did get on a plane and come home? What would they do? anyways... I wish that you were enjoying yourself a bit more.. *refrains once again*
stay away from those little girls you are teaching.
please

I'd hate to hear of a murder in korea ... kk

I miss talking to you.. and i need a tittie bar guy.. come home@

:P

PB

would I be to forward if I asked if you slept with one of those hookers over there yet?

p.s. my friend i introd you to.... not very happy with her at this moment. catch me for details.

[zim]

Heh, thick irish accent causing problems? My roomate's portugese, and wants to brush up his spainish. We're watching this shit on telemundo. Fuck me.

[euphorbia]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
snip


Man, after reading both your threads, that place sounds like hell on earth to me. Fuck that.

[Koliedrus]

Ahem.

Asmodeus and Hell? That should be a no-brainer ;)

Ok. I'm up for saving the poor devil and bringing him back into the land of corruption where he belongs.

[Mudflap]

Originally posted by Koliedrus
Ahem.

Asmodeus and Hell? That should be a no-brainer ;)

Ok. I'm up for saving the poor devil and bringing him back into the land of corruption where he belongs.

He can't come back until he has secured at least one Korean hottie to leave gift wrapped on my door step.

Thems da rules.

[Billyman]

Jeebus man.

COME HOME! COME HOME NOW!

Outside all that stuff, you enjoying your stay ok? :p

[Cruise Director]

Make sure before anything happens that you check in to local laws about age of consent, etc. Ignorance will be no excuse when they throw you in jail. Other thanthat, have fun. :D

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Psychotic _ Bitch
I miss talking to you.. and i need a tittie bar guy.

Tittie bar guy you need?

I'M COMMIIIINNNGGGG! :p

Asmodeus, keep em coming, I love the stories. Plus, we all like to know someone has it worse than we do. ;)

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Mudflap


He can't come back until he has secured at least one Korean hottie to leave gift wrapped on my door step.

Thems da rules.

You don't want one and I'm serious about that. When they're young, there hot, and I do mean hot. But they get old quick, too quick. Oh, and ugly, not just old woman ugly, buy butt fucking ugly, and damn what tempers they have.

Tell the man what you've seen Asmod.

[Mr. Snrub]

If spain can tighten their defence, i think they'll win.

And Mexico are performing very well. They're playing like a Rugby Union team with their set-piece passing.

[Asmodeus]

Tis true Muddy old buddy. When they are young- and they reach the age of hottiness real early- real hotties. But, they seem to keep the hottiness for quite a while. Then over night it seems, they become what Billyman said. It's weird...

So yer gonna have to get yer own mail order bride. I am a deviler not a procurer.

And Kol- SAVE ME!!!! hehe

[Asmodeus]

PB, nope, I haven't slept with a hooker yet nor do I plan to. As much as I like sex- as with any other guy I suppose- there are certain things I won't do, till I know more about teh girls, etc... how clean they are and all that. Besides I have yet to really get a paycheck yet. I am going broke...

Hmm...maybe I should change my sig to- Kol shaved his ass and Shakespeare is envious. Hey baby butt...bwahahaha

[Asmodeus]

I already have...and it is 18 or 19. They count age different here. So, I make sure either they make the first move or they are over 20. So HA!!!

And no MAC, that is not why I came over here. I am trying to get away from you. Because you keep wanting to have my love child or something. How many times does a man have to say no to you? :D

[Asmodeus]

Yeah, except for some of the particulars, I guess I am having a perty good time here. I have difinatly have had harder jobs before.

It is a kind of flux I suppose. I want to come home yet I also want to stay here a while longer- maybe for my contract- and see what happens and where life takes me.

Oh well... such is the life and times of lyrical psychophant.

[Mudflap]

Wimminz are like cars. When you get tired of one, trade it in on a newer model. So pffffttttttttt on Billyman and Asmodeus.

Asmod sez:
So yer gonna have to get yer own mail order bride.

Who the fuck said anything about a bride???

Kol, save your money for your very own parachute rig.

Rot in Korea Asmod, you filthy, impotent, Texan in a foreign land!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

keep the stories coming

[Asmodeus]

Dang Muddy... one of these days yer gonna hurt my feelings... I swear, make fun of me 30 or 40 more times and I'll leave. :D

[TotalAnarchy]

Brazil with their lighting quick midfielders and forwards, and much improved defence, are worthy favorites now. Especially with thier strike potential.

Italy can also go all the way.

Spain could, if they get their act together.

Even England or Germany.

But I would, if I were in the U.S., put some cash on Senegal in winning their next game. A good bet, I think. Best African team I've seen so far, and better then most of the European teams, too.

[Koliedrus]

Yeah. I suppose I shouldn't draw conclusions like that anymore. Now it's growing back out and I have to walk slow to keep my face straight. I said "ain't" yesterday.

PB: Ouch! Now I have to guess. Made ya think happy thought via crudeness, though :D Come on, admit it.

Kol shaved his ass and Shakespeare is envious

Headstone material if I've ever read it ;)

[PB]

Originally posted by Koliedrus
Yeah. I suppose I shouldn't draw conclusions like that anymore. Now it's growing back out and I have to walk slow to keep my face straight. I said "ain't" yesterday.

PB: Ouch! Now I have to guess. Made ya think happy thought via crudeness, though :D Come on, admit it.



Headstone material if I've ever read it ;)

I'll admit you kinda lost me on the OUCH part. :P

I can't believe you shaved you ass.. did you really? That's funny.. luckily I don't have hair on my ass.. lol . ever tried some nair. Do I need to come to tenn. and give you a good waxing? Oh come on let me... I promise that atleast I'll enjoy it. *wink*

and I'm glad you haven't slept with those hookers asm. ; I would think I know you better... but than again that whole thing about... "well I am leaving for Korea" thing...... I had to atleast ask! DOH!
You do know you will never live that down right? anyways.. now that everyone else is like WTF? lol

Kol.. I'd ask for pictures of your shaved ass, but it would have been better if you had taken a before and after picture... HA!
so now explain the OUCh part above please. :P

PB

[Koliedrus]

Mysteries wrapped in speculation and bound with ribbons of fantasy. That big bow on top is humour ;)

The wax and Nair will have to gather dust. MrsKol takes my soul with her wherever she goes. Even into the future.

Hmmm. Flashback. I once posted a story about Californians giving each othe wine enemas, mentioned that I didn't like it but decided to submit my own personal research.

The wine enema part might have been true. I can't know for certain. My jollies came from the thought of a bunch of people working wine-bottles into places they don't belong because of my post.

I ain't like that now, y'all.

/me wanders off to trim his pubes.

[Asmodeus]

Well, Korea won their game and the US won but from what I hear they both advance into the final 16 or whatever the hell it is.

Anyway, I went out after the game. The rest of the teachers watched the game at the skool, of which I was not invited. Thanks a lot. They had free food as well, which I will get into¡¦

I got done with class, tried to get that one Korean teacher to go out. She declined saying she had plans with the other teachers. She never said what- thus the game and dinner. Thanks¡¦

Anyway, so I came home. Was nothing here to eat so I tried to call in a pizza. Every delivery place was closed due to the Korean soccer game. Thanks again. So I went for a walk.

I don¡¯t know how far I went, but I finally found the McDonalds and it was closed. Go figure. So I turned around and went the other way- another 5 or more miles. I found a Pizza Hut that was open. So I had a pizza. The pizza was perty good, I was surprised, but the service sucked. I was half way thru the pizza and I was out of coke¡¦ I dry mouthed the rest of the pizza. She wouldn¡¯t come to fill my drink¡¦ oh well. At least Korea is a non-tipping country. She wouldn¡¯t have gotten one in any case.

When I got done eating I went for another walk. I finally got home around 10 or so. It wasn¡¯t even 10 minutes after I got home my roomie showed up saying a bunch of the Korean teachers-ladies- were going to(???) I have no idea how to say it much less spell it and asked if I wanted to come. He named off a few of the better looking ones so I agreed.

My mistake and I intend to hold him accountable¡¦ jeebus¡¦

Well, Korea had won as I said- and everyone was out at this certain square. I mean everyone. It was worse than Marde Gras in New Orleans. I mean insanity without the girls flashing you- so sad. If I had been flashed it wouldn¡¯t have been so bad¡¦

Call it a 5 block area with around 5 million or more people, quite a bit more come to think of it. I mean like half of Seoul. I am talking about me leading out little expedition cause I am the biggest. And the rest were just trailing along in the destruction in my wake. And everyone was happy, extatic, joyous, crazy, insane¡¦ etc.

Everyone was singing, jumping, clapping, making a ruckous¡¦ AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! So many fucking people!!!!!!

SO we walked around a bit¡¦well, tried to. We walked as far as we could then we forced our(my) way thru. Then we watched a guy start stripping on a balcony as he was singing all of the Korean songs. Ridiculas.

Anyway, we ended up at a bar, which I wanted to stay at for a while. It wasn¡¯t crowded, low lights, comfortable seats, etc. But, the little dipshits- the other guys in the party- wanted to go out. They though it was too boring and threw a hissy fit till they got the girls to agree and there we went.

Oh, we had to take a taxi to get to this place and I had(have) no way of telling a taxi driver where to take nor any idea of how to get back. SO I was stuck.

So, we hung out outside the bar for a while and let the 2 idiots run up and down the ally to burn off their energy. I think they are on crack or something¡¦

Because periodically they would both or singly go off for about 30 minutes and come back swaying on their feet and their eyes were as red as I have ever seen eyes. And the energy they had is not natural.

Well, we were there for a few hours watching the idiots go around making fools of themselves. Then we went down a few blocks to eat something. I have no idea what it was except it stank and tasted like shit. I ate maybe 3 bites and spent the rest fo the time drinking what is called Soju. It is some sort of rice whiskey. Everyone kept telling me to slow down because it will hit you late and all that shit. It is maybe 40 proof. I drink 90 proof for breakfast. I drank about 3 bottles of the stuff and never got a buzz. Pffft¡¦. Damn light weights. People don¡¯t realize how much Texans drink it seems.

SO there we sat for a few more hours when one of the idiots starts singing the Korean songs getting all the locals up going crazy. I was about to deck him to shut him up till the other tables started sending over shots of Soju. So I drank and smiled. Then they found out I was from Texas so I had to make a damn speech to show them my accent. Oh, I was wearing my cowboy hat too. Bad idea.

Then the other idiot takes off. He shows back up with a stolen 4 wheeler. HE starts driving around everywhere. He is drunk and/or high as hell. HE only wrecked a couple of times. Well, he stopped- completely wiped out. Put a rather nice dent in a car with his head- where we were and was trying to get some people to climb on with him. That¡¯s when some of us got out and tried to get him off the thing before he killed someone. And it was a fight. Literally. We had to fight to stupid SOB to get him off the thing. He kept saying we were trying to ruin him from having a good time and all that shit. I ended up picking the 4 wheeler up, with him on it, so he couldn¡¯t take off. He had been trying to run over one of the girls- the one I like by the way- and I wouldn¡¯t have anything to do with that. So I picked the thing up. Which, got the crowd which had showed up, oooing and awing like a bunch of yellow skinned smurfs. We then took the keys so he couldn¡¯t go. We then manhandled him off the thing, which pissed him off more. I picked him up and put him on a seat and stuck a bottle of Soju in front of him. Which seemed to distract him for a while.

By this time one of the other girls wanted to leave and I decided it was time for to go as well. SO I left¡¦ and had to ride in the back seat of her boyfriend¡¯s car¡¦ and I thought we were going to have a romantic interlude. Damn misleading Koreans¡¦hehehe.

So, now I am here at home writing this, without a buzz. Damn¡¦ but, I do have to teach a class in like 4 hours. And I don¡¯t even have an alarm clock. hehehe

If you see some footage of the World Cup, they will start showing that square I was in. It will be the place where there are people as far as you can see on some side streets. I was at the very center fo all that shit. It was different. I sghould have brought my camera because that was a once in a lifetime opportunity because I doubt I will ever go anywhere again with that many people at one place.

Me and my adventures...

[Billyman]

:):(:eek::p

[Asmodeus]

Me and my adventures:

What is that saying- How can you trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn¡¯t die? Hehehe.

If yer any good at riddles you will know this little adventure is about a woman. Well, the other day I had tried to get a pizza delivered. Probably because I was hungry, but that may just be me.

Well, the place was closed. So, that was out. Go figure. So, I went for a walk to try to forget about hunger. It didn¡¯t work by the way, just to let you know, almost never does for that matter.

I went over to another teacher¡¯s place. She is about 55 Muddy, before you get any idears. We are friends after a fashion- if that makes any sense. But anyway¡¦

I showed up and we shot the shit for a while. Then she told me that some others were coming over for dinner if I wanted to stay. She said she would cook me a steak if I stayed. I stayed.

So, I stayed and Bob(another teacher) and his Korean girlfriend and a Korean friend of her¡¯s showed up. Un Hi(pronounced Oon hee), Bob¡¯s girlfriend, has been trying to hook me up with a Korean girl for a while now. I do not mind it, but this time¡¦

Her friend was beautiful. Yadda yadda¡¦ and all that. Great ass, good tits, lips, etc. Well, we ate dinner then that girl and I started taking shots of Soju and beer, trying to get each other drunk. She had been making eyes with me for a while by then. I didn¡¯t mind at all. Then she starts to play footsie with me under the table.

It gets rather distracting when you are trying to drink or pour a drink or light your cig with a girl stroking your leg with her foot. Of course, that may just be me and my lack of experience with that kind of flirtation.

Anyway, that went on for quite a while, a few hours I would guess. Then we left. Un Hi, her friend and I went to a pool hall. The friend and I played pool, had quite a few more drinks, she paid, and played some terrible pool. Un Hi decides to go home. So, girlfriend wants to go to Itewan- where the other whites are; the tourist part of the city. I had yet to go.

Get this, the only reason I went was because she said she would pay for my drinks- hey, Women¡¯s Lib man, Women¡¯s Lib- and the way she was acting I thought I was going to get laid. But, so sad, that last one didn¡¯t happen. And not much of the first come to think about it.

Well, we catch a cab- oh I forgot, she didn¡¯t speak a whole lot of English, which was a drag on conversation let me tell you- and it is about an hour cab ride to this place. So, I headed out with her¡¦ I basically thought I was gonna get laid. If not that, then we would have some drinks, maybe dance a little and then catch the same cab home. She was my way back people. That is what I¡¯m trying to say. She knew the address to where we were, what to ask and all that. I didn¡¯t and still don¡¯t for that matter.

Well, we get to a place called Gekko¡¯s. It is a white people bar, or at least westerner bar. It was full of Irish and Slovenians. I had almost forgotten that when white folk get drunk, they get aggressive. I almost got into a few fights just walking around in the place. Someone would bump into me or I would bump them out of my way as I was trying to walk. They would start cussing, turn around and then have somewhere else to go. I don¡¯t like crowds and was letting it be known. That and I was having to duck for all the signs, ceiling fans and flags flying everywhere probably had a bit to do with it.

Well, I followed that girl in and we had a drink together. A single, solitary, lone, uno, one drink. That was it. After the drink she grabs my hand and starts to escort me to the door. About the only thought going thru my head was I was either gonna get laid or get the boot. Can you guess which one it was? The boot.

She takes me to the door and says, and I quote, ¡°I stay. You go. Just go.¡± And she started giving me the shoo away gesture. I basically just flipped her off, said toodles, and walked out. I have yet to find a woman that is worth my time of she treats me like that, no matter what the culture or how good she looks. Nope, no way, no how.

So, I went outside and remembered that she was my way back. Great.

So I waited around for a while. I never saw her come out of the place. I ended up walking around with a green eyed, Irish beauty for a while. But, she got hooked up with a few other guys so I left her as well. I went back to Gekko¡¯s. I still didn¡¯t see that girl. Oh well.

Then I went walking around with another group of Irish. We went up what is called Hooker Hill. I think you can come up with yer own idears as to why it is called that. Gee wiz¡¦ whoda thunked it? Hehehe

And yes, there are a lot of hookers there. Oh, another reason why that girl was my way back- I AM BROKE!! I have been broke for a while now. I get paid soon, but still broke at the moment. Another reason why there haven¡¯t been any hooker stories yet¡¦ hehe, kidding.

Well, we walked up and down, up and down, for a while. And yes, there are alot of VERY goodlooking women there. WOW!!!

Then I went around with a group of Slovenians. Then another group of Irish, then Slovenians¡¦ etc etc.

By this time it was around 5am and I am back out front of Gekko¡¯s. I am talking to a guy from Minnesota, and a few guys from Slovenia. They are all drunk as hell. I am drinking water by this time trying to re-hydrate myself.

One of the Slovenian guys grabs my water bottle and throws it down the street. He is the same one that had been messing with my cowboy hat for a while. Which, is not a thing you do at all. Needless to say, he was pissing me off. He threw the bottle, so I then picked him up by his collar and told him if he wanted to be able to walk for the rest of his life he would get my water and then make himself gone.

Needless to say, he got my water bottle and started to fawn over me and act like a little lap dog. He finally left when I told him I really wanted to hit him. Gees, some people shouldn¡¯t drink at all.

Anyway, by this time, Gekko¡¯s had closed and I never saw that girl. She had apparently hooked up with someone else and left. Great. I had no way back home.

So, I start talking to cab drivers- as much as I could. None of them knew the area where I needed to go. And, with my lack of money, I was not going to get in a cab and just say drive around till you find it.

So, I started to walk and try to backtrack the way we came. Oh, I was not exactly paying much attention to landmarks on the way over. I seem to have been a bit busy making out with her. Like I said, nice tits.

Well, there I was, poor Asmodeus walking in Seoul without any fucking idea where he was besides lost with about 6 hours till he had to be in class. I also did not, nor do I, have the number to the skool to tell them I was going to be late or that I was lost, etc. I was having a blast, let me tell you.

Plus, I was wearing my big boots. It had been about 2 months since I had worn the damn things and my feet were killing me as well. Yeeehaw!!!

Well, about 3 hours later I finally had made my way to one of the bridges over the river here. So I knew I was basically going the right direction. I live on this side of the river at least. It seems half the world is on this side of the river though. This is a huge fucking city. And yes, I walked for a little over 3 hours trying to find my way back.

Well, during the time walking I had plenty of time to think about my situation. And besides the obvious question as to why the hell am I here in the first place, I got thinking about what landmarks and stores are around here. I had forgotten about the Hotel Dong, Seoul and the Techno Mart.

About half way across the bridge- some 6 miles worth or so, big river and a winding bridge- I was able to flag a cab down and ask if he knew where Cheong I dong was and the Hotel Dong and Techno Mart and all that shit. He nodded his head and jibbered jabbered something, which I took as an ascent. So I got in.

I have no idea how long we drove around and I almost fell asleep. I did see right off that the stupid SOB forgot to turn on the meter for the cab. Anyway.

We finally got back to the hotel, which I know how to get home from, and I threw 10,000 wan at him having no idea as to how much he was going to charge me for the ride, and I got out and walked away giving him no time to try to get more out of me. I didn¡¯t have any more.

Well, there is a major fucking hill going to my place from the hotel side. With how tired I was and how bad my feet were hurting it took me like 30 minutes to make it up the damn hill, which normally takes maybe 2 minutes. Oh well.

Well, I finally make it back to my place and was so tired I couldn¡¯t go to sleep. I hate extreme exhaustion. Luckily I had told Bob to call me around 1o¡¯clock so I would make to it there in time and not over sleep. But, it seemed about the time when I finally was getting some sleep the phone rings. I hate it when that happens. And it was Bob as well. And it was 2 not 1, oh well.

So, then I got ready and went to teach class and I could barely think enough to remember my own name much less the complexities of grammar and all that horse shit. Fun fun. And yes, that was one long ass day at work.

AND!!!

I went out right after class again to celebrate Korea winning another game and getting into to the final 8 or something. Stupid me.

I almost got into a fight with a Korean man this time. Some of us teachers were sitting at a table outside a supermarket and a couple of Korean guys sit down and start feeding us drinks. We didn¡¯t mind, free drinks.

Well, we did that for about 5 hours or so and we all were rather buzzed. Then I get up to try to get some sleep and one of the Koreans gets mad. I start shaking his hand saying it was good to meet you and all that polite shit. He wouldn¡¯t let go of my hand.

I try to walk away and he jerks me back and hits me in the chest. I mean rares back and gives me a good knock in the center of my chest. No matter what mood I am in or how tired or whatever, that is not a way to get on my good side. I don¡¯t care if it is a cultural difference, that is going to piss me off.

He wouldn¡¯t let me go and I didn¡¯t feel like kicking his ass, so I broke his hand. He wouldn¡¯t let my hand go from the handshake, so I gave his a rather mighty squeeze. Once I started to feel things breaking he let go, started to jump around hollering and I turned my back on him and walked away.

Hey, it was either that or take his head off.

I think I am going to take a break from going out for a while.

But, stay tuned people, for knowing me, there will be alot more to come.

Oh, just wondering: could someone sticky or copy and paste or whatever it is, all my other Korean threads into this one? To keep them all in one place so I will know where they are? Keep everything sorta organized? PWeeeze???

[zim]

heh, sure u wanna go out celebrating soccer with em? they plan to root against the USA in their next game with Germany because the USA has done some bad things to them.

They've strategically forgotten the fact that we sorta sent lotsa people to die helping them out against their northern counterparts...

[Asmodeus]

More conviently forgotten that fact, DT. They remember when away from soccer. But, if celebrating etc. US is the Devil to quote Cathy Bates.

[Asmodeus]

Well, that same student did something again. She didn't grope me this time though. She was a little more subtle:

She started out by drawing a big dick on a peice of paper. Then she started to stroke it with her hand. I ignored her for a while.

Then she had a little dog toy thing, she would roll it up and stick it's nose out of her fingers. The nose looked like th ehead of a dick when she did that. She kept doing that where only I could see it. Then she started licking it and smiling at me.

Then she pulled some of the stuffing out of it and made it look like balls and started to stroke them as well.

Then she started to lick the nose thing again.

And yes, I was having a very difficult time trying to teach class with her doing this.

And I quote, "Ok. Let's play hangman." It's a word game... it was either that or get that girl into the bathroom and play doctor.

AARRRGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MAC]

Could it be, that everything looks like a dick to you?
I mean, considering your face and all :p

I think you been drinkin late at night and watchin korean soap operas.

BTW:
See if you can locate me some highly venomous banded kraits.
They are high $$ over here.

[PB]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
How many times does a man have to say no to you? :D

How often do you ask yourself this question????

Just curious.... now the bigger question, how often does someone have to say no to you???? Now remember I know the answer to this one so take your time!

DOH!!!!!!!

*wickedly evil grin*

but you know I love ya right?

PB

[estero]

How old is this girl?

[PB]

Originally posted by estero
How old is this girl?

for real.

How many high school even seniors do you know over 19?
Well that depends on where you live, but ona general basis, not many!

I see someone loosing a hand or something else very soon... and you don't want that to happen, those are two of your favorite things!

:D

PB

[Deadpool]

You seem to get picked up by a lot of chicks. Whats your secret?

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
Oh, just wondering: could someone sticky or copy and paste or whatever it is, all my other Korean threads into this one? To keep them all in one place so I will know where they are? Keep everything sorta organized? PWeeeze???

This is what I can and am willing to do for you if this is what you want. I can go back to page five to start with "The traveler has returned..." and merge all your korean adventure threads into that one. Now even though I would merge them by page order I can't guarantee that they will merge in that order. But I will still give it a go if you want.

[Mr. Snrub]

You better not hope the USA beats Korea or you're dead.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

I must say I'm a bit disgusted at italy at the moment - bunch of blouses can't take a beating.

[Asmodeus]

Go ahead Billyman. Give it a go. At least I can see what I have written so far and not tell the same story twice.

As for US beating Korea... if it even gets that far, hopefully it will be a good game... but if the US does win, I think I will still stay indoors for a few months.

[Asmodeus]

Why I get picked up(on) by girls alot??? My honest face???

As for her age- I am gonna guess around 12. And no, I have not nor will I do anything to or with her. I'm a lech, not a perv.

Thanks, PB, I think I appreciated that. I think I really did.

[PB]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
Why I get picked up(on) by girls alot??? My honest face???

As for her age- I am gonna guess around 12. And no, I have not nor will I do anything to or with her. I'm a lech, not a perv.

Thanks, PB, I think I appreciated that. I think I really did.

Thanks for what? You have to excuse me, yesterday I was in quite the vicious mood! NO hard feelings to you at all.... This is PB remember, the one who never has hard feelings about just about anyone! Just trying to ruffle your feathers and give you a hard time! like I said.. you know I love ya right?

*PB plants kiss on Asmodeus' cheek* - atleast it's not the first time! DOH!

Honestly... I just want to give you a hard time since you left here and went to Korea... Now who is going to go places with me?


PB

*p.s. I am thankful you will not be messing around with a 12 year old*

[gone away]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
Go ahead Billyman. Give it a go. At least I can see what I have written so far and not tell the same story twice.

As for US beating Korea... if it even gets that far, hopefully it will be a good game... but if the US does win, I think I will still stay indoors for a few months.

you're safe :)

[Billyman]

Originally posted by Asmodeus
Go ahead Billyman. Give it a go. At least I can see what I have written so far and not tell the same story twice.

Ok, you're all merged and of coarse I had to leave all the replies intact. You'll have to thumb through your pages to recap. I hope this is ok.

Rock on

[Asmodeus]

Thanks bud.

When ya gonna visit?

[zim]

would it be possible for you to rename this thread "My Korean misadventures thread" ?

[Asmodeus]

Consider it changed.

Well, I had that sexually aggressive student today again. She was rather tame this time. She only sucked on a marker for about 10 minutes. Just mildly kinky. Oh well. hehe

[Asmodeus]

If I can figure out how to do it.

Now I am off to watch the Korea and Spain match. Hope Korea gets their collective ass kicked. It would do them good.

US lost to Germany by the way.