Where the Hell's my OSCAR

[MAC]

Well I'm back from NH.
Sorry Flit I couldn't find your house but I did kill more than 100 yipping ass dogs.
(200 if you count the animal shelter fire.)
While in beautiful NH I swam across Lake Winnipesaukee and spent the night in a beatiful B&B in Wolfeboro.
Hey, for some reason your "police officers"
don't like "lunatics" running through people's "backyards" with "assault weapons"
wearing only "banana peels"
Whats up with that?

Now on to my topic:

Every year at this time I am passed over for an award I am rightly due.
Now RW can testify for this...
I am one talented mother.
Now last year I thought I had it all sewn up.
I stole the ballots and filled out on for myself.
Then I stole the awards and my own engraved.
All I had to do was show up with my ballot and my Oscar and I would be the Best Actor.
But NO!
I didn't even get best hairstylist!
Well this year I actually did some acting in my newest adult film
"The Crocidile Humper"
I don't want to ruin the story but you will certainly be impressed.
This movie is going to put me on the map.
By the way ask RW about the time we went to south Louisiana and ate the whole Alligator at Prejean's.
AAAIYYEEE...

[King Bastard]

Your oscar is at the fish market, next to the grouper and salmon.

And if you DID invent the blowjob, why didnt it get called a suckjob? I'e never had a chick pass her breath over pursed lips onto my tackle hoping to elcit an orgasm from me.

so what gives?

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century

[Bishop]

Who's Oscar? Is he the nice fella who discovered blow jobs?

[Dog Breath]

No bishop someone burgled his aquarium and he wants his oscar back silly. If he really invented the blow job he is an idiot for not patenting it. A lot of people do that professionally now days.....think of the royalties!

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Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
<IMG SRC="http://sites.netscape.net/mydogbreath/dogbre2.gif" border=0>

[MAC]

RW gives me too much credit.
I didn't invent the blow job
I suggested it to some one I didn't like.
His mom took it from there.

see "oscular" in the dictionary if want to get that Joke.

My point is if you do something better than everyone else and get an award for it that's great.
But if some academy gives an award every year whether anyone deserves it or not then I might as well get it.

[Flit]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by theMAC:
Well I'm back from NH.
Sorry Flit I couldn't find your house but I did kill more than 100 yipping ass dogs.
(200 if you count the animal shelter fire.)
While in beautiful NH I swam across Lake Winnipesaukee and spent the night in a beatiful B&B in Wolfeboro.
Hey, for some reason your "police officers"
don't like "lunatics" running through people's "backyards" with "assault weapons"
wearing only "banana peels"
Whats up with that? [/quote]

Hey, I appreciate the effort...yes, the police are rather conservative around here...I guess I'll have to resort to the other suggestions from last night...

On the other hand, its a shame that someone so willing to help their fellow "man" is looked over for such an important award like the Oscar.

I feel your pain.

[MAC]

thank you ma'am
I feel a little better.
Maybe I can still win a grammy.


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Sit down Redneck!

[Buddha's Penis!]

i think you're a shoo-in for a tony this year. you were great in godspell.

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you don't know anything until you know everything.