Howdy

[MAC]

Lots of changes going on.
(well no a lot but a few key changes)
I honestly like them and I am getting a feeling I haven't had here in a while when I browse.
I'll reserve all that for a drunken discussion later.

this thread is about ME

(does that seem pretentious?)

#1
My company's lawsuit (of which I am a key witness) is set for trial next week.
It starts monday and will be 2 or 3 days.
Its outcome has a huge effect on my current job status (not necessarily fired but what will I be doing...although joblessness is a potential threat)
This whole situation is my bosses doing...he should have read my sig.
Anyway, I hope we kick his ass and make him pay and I get a large bonus and build a large puter and buy several of those shirts billyman was hawking. :D

#2
My divorce is now officialy in the works.
I have the money and there are classes on being a divorced parent they REQUIRE you take..etc, etc
SO (my soon to be ex) still lives near by but has plans to move in coming months so I will be trying to get a few things doen with my daughter and helping SO with anythign she needs.
We have reached avery good point here as she has something very good to move to. It will be the very best thing for her and my daughter. Trust me.
But soon I will be eligable.
All you ladies just simmer down now.
No, There are NO new love interest in my life yet.
But I'm workin on a list or traits.
All you future Mrs theMAC's please wait another month or so.
BTW: Toni Braxton has the first spot in line reserved. ;)

#3
I have done alot of soul searching recently for things I didn't know I'd lost...
and found a bucketful...
I am allocating time every day to things I believed I couldn't do.
I am planning time for things I didn't think I'd participate in.
Its gonna be good. I won't be any richer but I refuse to drop my dreams and passions again.
I'll be sharig here as I do stuff...cause you always share with your friends. :)

#4
Yesterday someone was telling me about something they read in a link that had moved them, I was initailly upset that the link had been provided (just a tech dificulty which has been remedied) and that person told me...

"its just the internet"

Well after over a year here I can say its not "just the internet".
Its a place where I have the opportunity to balance/explore what I feel and what I think. Its a place where I get to see variation in my opinion from minor to extreme.
I like it and I intend to participate while I'm able.

#5
I am certain that if you reread many of my threads you'd find hypocrisy. Its sorta inevitable to eventually contradict yourself But I try very hard to live as I think and speak it when I feel it.
Hopefully my mixture of passion and humility will maintain some degree of respect.
Alot of you have shown me great respect.
You have given and taken advice and I have done my best in the exchange.
I could not stand to ever seen it thrown back at me.
That's why its called "giving & taking".

#6
D and I are very good friends and always have been.
He and I part ways on many things.
Some of them have been recently displayed.

He seems to be the topic of tremendous discussion, especially by people who don't like him (???) proving once again that the villians we make are far more famous than our heros.
Lots of hitler references none to churchill...
If you hate him, I wish you'd let it die.
he didn't... you won't... so on and so forth

My station is as always
I enjoy the qualities in him that stimulate me and make me constantly think.
I leave him to his own responsibilities and descisions.
He & I benefited from the same patriarchal role model.
He & I survived the same mental shipwreck of a highschool.
The things he exposed me to inliterature andmusic were some of the best things that ever came out of that highschool.
He has always been supportive of me and not many people EVER have.
He has always been caring and giving to me and shown me great respect I will always do the same for him.

I ask you to consider than when you read my sig.


long and the short of it...I'll be around as soon as I can
have fun :D

[Koliedrus]

The previous message was written by one of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Mac - Up until this point I had no idea about the changes in your personal situation. For background I checked lessons and.... well..... fuck. I'm really sorry man. And SO (If you still come here), you too. No one is at fault in these situations really, things either work out or they dont, and my heart goes out to you both.

We had a long and heated debate about marriage and parenting, in another thread, I bring this up now not to rub in your face, but to reassure you, you can be a great parent, despite the change in cirucumstances. From what you said in the other thread, I imagine this is VERY hard for you. However, i is obvious from your posts that you will always love your daughter, always be there for her, and put her ahead of yourself insomuch as rationality lets you. Thats what will make you a great father, when your beautiful little girl is grown up and she tells her friends 'yeah, my Dad is great, I can talk to him about anything'.

I suspect your wounds are probably too raw at the moment to see this - the noble ideal only recently broken, maybe you will always feel like you could have been better - my advice should you wish to take it, don't. There are no could have beens, there is only what is. And at the moment, you are a great father for who you are, what could have been is irrelevant.

Respect. I respect the hell out of you, I honestly do. For exactly those reasons you said - your passion and your Humility. Christ know I think youre a fucktard at times :) but I respect the hell out of you and am honored to be able to learn from you. One of the most valuable things I think we have to learn in life is the ability to know when we are wrong, acknowledge it &learn from it. I would not question the fact that you possess this ability already. Perhaps you should try to teach it to D. some time. :)

Which bring me to D.
Respect has to be earned, D had my respect, enormously. Unfortunately, for us both, he lost it. Thats about all I can really say on that. It is irrelevant to me that the two of you are friends. I hope you can feel the same way about the fact that he and I are not. I've shared enough of how he made me feel for it to be obvious that he hurt me a great deal, I can't change that, but I'm not going to let it get in the way of other potential friendships. Knowing myself, I can admit that I will probably feel inclined to hurl the odd insult in his direction for some time - thats just me continuing to suffer, so ignore me, I have gained no pleasure from what has happened, none at all. All I ask is that you tolerate my pain and not confuse malice with grief. Although I still think he is a really crappy libertarian ;)

[PB]

Originally posted by Koliedrus
The previous message was written by one of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

I second that!

PB

[TotalAnarchy]

fuck man. I was going to have to kick your ass if that self pity went on. ;) Good to see you got your shit and perspective together. Rock on.

[Billyman]

Court/job shit goes bad, come stay with me. I'll support your sorry ass as long as I can. Got your mindset in good working order? Well it's about time. I love you man. I really do. I don't like to see you hurt, or you hurting yourself. Come stay with me for a while any how and I'll set you up with some good ole North Carolina trailer trash. You'll love it!:p

Now maybe I'll see you in the IRC a bit more.

[Mr. Snrub]

Let's all group hug theMac!!

[estero]

Well said, Muffy.

SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK :)