Deadpool
03-16-2001, 06:05 AM
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing "black boxes" in pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 45 of the 50 states, the last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal crashes were, "Oh shit!"
Only the states of Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Alabama, and Tennessee were different, where in 89.3% of fatal crashes, the final words recorded were, "Hey, hold my beer and watch this!"
A priest at the Vatican walks around outside one day and sees three boys playing in horse shit. The priest walks up to the first boy and asks, “little boy what are you doing?” The little boy looks up at the priest and says I am making a little Jewish boy”, and the priest says “what religion are you?” And the little boy says “well I am Catholic”, and the priest says “good little boy.”
Then the priest walks up to the second boy and asks, “little boy what are you doing?” The little boy looks up at the priest and says I am making a little Jewish boy”, and the priest says “what religion are you?” And the little boy says “well I am Catholic”, and the priest says “good little boy.”
Then the priest walks over to the third boy and asks, “little boy what are you doing?” The little boy looks up at the priest and says I am making a little Jewish boy”, and the priest says “what religion are you?” And the little boy says “well I am Jewish”, and the priest says “well why are you making a little Jewish boy? Why not a little Catholic boy?” And the little boy says “cause I don’t have enough shit”.
If you heard these before, Im sorry.
Only the states of Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Alabama, and Tennessee were different, where in 89.3% of fatal crashes, the final words recorded were, "Hey, hold my beer and watch this!"
A priest at the Vatican walks around outside one day and sees three boys playing in horse shit. The priest walks up to the first boy and asks, “little boy what are you doing?” The little boy looks up at the priest and says I am making a little Jewish boy”, and the priest says “what religion are you?” And the little boy says “well I am Catholic”, and the priest says “good little boy.”
Then the priest walks up to the second boy and asks, “little boy what are you doing?” The little boy looks up at the priest and says I am making a little Jewish boy”, and the priest says “what religion are you?” And the little boy says “well I am Catholic”, and the priest says “good little boy.”
Then the priest walks over to the third boy and asks, “little boy what are you doing?” The little boy looks up at the priest and says I am making a little Jewish boy”, and the priest says “what religion are you?” And the little boy says “well I am Jewish”, and the priest says “well why are you making a little Jewish boy? Why not a little Catholic boy?” And the little boy says “cause I don’t have enough shit”.
If you heard these before, Im sorry.