your cheating heart...

[Lady Sianna]

this stems from something my roomie and i were discussing earlier this evening:

i do not understand people who cheat on their lovers (wives/husbands, boyfriends/girlfriends). i have heard stupendous amounts of rationalizations - "it was just sex", "it had nothing to do with how i feel about my lover", "it meant nothing". then why do it?! cheating has to be one of the most selfish acts i can think of...and when one is supposed to be in a loving relationship with another human being!

if i wanted to be at liberty to have sex with whomever i want, whenever i want, then i would be single...or find myself a nice man of the polyamorist persuasion. i enter into a relationship because i want something more, something deeper and more connected. i enter into a relationship because i want to build something strong and beautiful with someone i love.

if there are problems or issues that arise throughout the course of a relationship (and there inevitably will be), would it not be much simpler and less destructive to communicate, to be honest & open and to seek resolution?

have any of you cheated or been cheated upon? i'm interested to hear your perspectives or any ideas as to what leads so many people to stray.

[Mudflap]

I've never cheated, but I have been cheated on. It was my fault. I made poor choices in the g/f dept. You live and you learn.

[MAC]

Think long and hard about what cheating means.
Is it just sex.
Or everything that leads up to it.
Do they have to come back to you and act like they didn't do it.
When does their commitment to you begin & end?
When they decide?
Or is it mutual.

If 2 ppl are together and one deicdes to leave are they free to do as they please?

What about when you make a legal/moral issue out of the commitment?

Can you walk away from the morality of it and ignore the legality?

What exactly does it take to "cheat"

and the other person....
when they know whats up
do they take your word for it that its ok because of your interpretation?
They have a say in whats right also.

I know what I think.

[Cruise Director]

I've been tempted, but never have cheated. Nor have I been cheated upon. I had a woman ask me out once while she was still seeing another man. I told her I wasn't interested in her. When she asked why, I replied, "If you cheat on him with me, what's to stop you from cheating on me in the future." She got angry because of that question.

I chalk that up as her loss.

[Pianomahnn]

I'll never cheat. If I wasn't happy in the relationship, I would end it.

People who cheat on their spouse when they have children as well should be bashed over the head. That is pathetic. Putting your little need to get your rocks off above your family.

[squee]

I think this is an odd question for Sianna to ask because up until now I had assumed her entire philosophy was either based upon or at the very least promised unlicensed sexual "liberty" based upon the "feminine mystique."

There are three reasons for sex. First and most obvious is procreation. Second is physical pleasure. Third and perhaps most important is to grow closer to someone.

Why do people seek to procreate? Why do we need physical pleasure? What do we seek to get out of intimacy? Answer these and you'll know why people have sex.

Since most people nowadays seek to deny #1 and see #2 as a end rather than as a means to #3, I'm guessing that they cheat because they like to fuck more than they like to be in a relationship.