Hello...

[gone~away]

No response is neccessary just now i don't think.. i prolly wont be on the net for a while.. my monitor was broken en route to victoria and i haven't had any access

im here.. victoria bc.. and now i might have to go back to toronto.. find somewhere to live there...

my girlfriend, larissa.. says she loves me but isnt sure im what she wants.

her mom is trying to sabotage things and spent upwards of three hours yesterday telling her im not good enough for her...

they fight about me (her and her mom) and larissa's relationship with her mother isnt healthy, she needs her mothers approval and she is (admittedly) never going to get it.. if its not me its her clothes, or music, etc.

her mother thinks im trying to take her away... that because of me they wont have a relationship anymore.. her mother is so bad to her and has such control over her........

she says larissa deserves better than me (is that possible http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif)

ive been clean and responsible since i got here, and her mother still hates me.. she hates what and not who i am, but larissa doesnt understand that

larissa is also wrestling with a fear of intimacy and committment...

i know im right for her, i can feel it as i dont feel many things.. i know i am what she needs and i can make her a better person and make her happy..

i dont think im going to be given the chance.. i dont think she's ready to admit shes not a horrible person...

i wish things could be different

i hope all of you are doing well

i hope ive explained myself well

and i hope things work out.. i love her so implicitly

have a good one all.. my time here is out..

ciao

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[skalie]

Edit: opinion retracted due to age concerns and quality of what was written afterwards.

[This message has been edited by skalie (edited 03-15-2001).]

[estero]

http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/frown.gif

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[Rabble Rouser]

With what I am about to write, I am assuming that Larissa is over 18, and hence a legal adult.

Her mother is afraid of losing her daughter, which is somewhat understandable. Unfortunately, the best thing that you can do at this point is stay back. Don't get involved...at this point, her and her mother have to hash it out. She needs to be able to stand up to her mother and not let her mother control her every move. Likewise, her mother has to learn that she cannot protect her "little girl" forever. At some point, the birds must fly the nest.

The problem is that Larissa's mother has manipulated her into believing that she cannot exist without her. She has eroded Larissa's self esteem by picking on her music, clothes, tastes in guys, etc. She wants Larissa to believe that she doesn't deserve someone as kind and caring as you. Now I don't know anything about her, so I can't say for certain, but if what you are saying is true, she needs to realize that she is a good person and is deserving of a good man. But only she can do that.

I also have to warn you that you cannot change someone. You don't know if you're really going to make her happy. You may feel that way, but you truly have no way of knowing. You can't make someone a better person. They have to do it themselves. I hate to sound like this (I guess I'm old-fashioned in this respect), but I think you're too young to really know if she's "the one."

The bottom line is that this is not a battle between you and Larissa. This is not between you and her mother. This is between her and her mother. You'll fare best if you stay out of it for the time being. She needs to the strength to stand up to her controlling mother, but only she can summon that strength.

I'm glad to hear that you made the trip okay, and I wish you well.



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"You can't post that on the internet! You don't know if it's true!" - Lisa

[zoey]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Rabble Rouser:
With what I am about to write, I am assuming that Larissa is over 18, and hence a legal adult.


[/quote]

She's not http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/frown.gif Which makes this really a lot tougher.
G~A already knows what i think about larissa and this whole situation...personally i have no idea how her mom went from allowing a stranger to move in with her to suddenly deciding that she hates his guts. She doesn't seem too sane to me.

G_A, i'm sorry this happened, although i had very bad feelings about this whole thing from the moment you told me about it. I hate to be discouraging, because i know you love her. But she doesn't seem to love you back, or else she wouldn't let her mother come between you both. Sometthing tells me that no guy would be good enough for larissa according to her mom....she needs to get the hell out of that place.
Well, i feel a bit better knowing you're alive now at least....now i just have to worry about you being homeless in victoria. Sigh...

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[King Bastard]

Greeting's GA, glad to see the only thing that went wrong in the trip was the monitor crapping out (although that's a tough hit to take).

We've no way of knowing just how bad it is up there, and no direct influence on the course of events. I for one wish I did. I'd love to tell her mom that she's acting the cunt. Tho it wouldnt help, I'm afraid.

Shit man, I too had worries about this manuver, but kept them to myself. didnt wanna undermine your good feelings about it.

Just realize this, it's not your fault, nor is it you that's deficient in any way. Hell, if I had a younger sister, my hopes would be that she found a guy like you to make her happy. True dat.

Just be well, and keep us posted as often as you can manage. We were worried about ya.

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century

[Mudflap]

<FONT COLOR="Orange">gone away! Glad to hear you're still alive. Sorry to hear about the mom pulling a 180 concerning the living situation. I'm tempted to make a lot of negative generalizational type comments about the female gender but that would only make me look like a prick and it would not help you one iota, so I "won't go there." In my humble opinion, your priority should be YOU. I suggest you do whatever you have to do to become as self sufficient as soon as possible. If possible, get your own place to live. You left your mom's house due to a strained relationship with her, right? Now it appears you're in the same boat with your girlfriend's mom. Your personal relationships have to come second to you looking out for yourself. Being self sufficient and independent is not easy, but it is certainly worth the struggle and hardship. You're a bright guy and I'm sure you'll land on your feet, just make sure you take care of YOU. Good luck my friend. Let me know if I can help.</FONT c>

[3MTA3]

Hey...take care up there...nice to see yas...I wont interject with my comments...just wish you luck...

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[Cruise Director]

Good luck, young traveler. My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

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"It's not my fault you're too stupid to flip hamburgers. Blame God for that !"

[estero]

<font color=pink>GA, you can come live with me here in Toronto, but I may have to hide you under my bed because I don't think my m0mma would like it very much http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

GA, everything happens for a reason, maybe it wasn't your time to take such a huge step in your life. I admire your courage.

Stay strong young Torontonian http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif When all else fails to make you smile, think of the Moose who miss you here.

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[Sirus]

Although I don't know just how bad this situation is, it still pisses the hell out of me.

I thought her Mom was the one that encouraged the whole thing in the first place.

Fuck, this shouldn't have happened to you.

If you need a place to stay, you can add my place to the list. If you don't mind living in a hicktown that is. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

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