Deadpool
03-13-2001, 06:35 AM
U.S. Gov't Apologizes for Liberating France (UPI, 2 March 01)
WASHINGTON -- After France once again lashed out at US foreign policy by condemning the recent air strikes on Iraq, Secretary of State Colin Powell issued a public apology to the families of the tens of thousands of soldiers that gave their lives, and to all Americans, for rescuing France during WWI and WWII. The contrite former General pleaded with the American people to accept the apology and move on from this misguided, charitable act. "It's time that we take a hard look at ourselves and ask 'what were we thinking?'" said Powell.
Eighty-two year old former Sergeant Larry Barnes, who served in France, applauded the apology. "It's about time. We knew something was wrong back then. We saved this one French family who had 14 Nazi officers shacked up in their chateau... we came plowing in there and shot everyone of those Krauts. Then some elderly French Lady comes over to us with a bottle of wine and out of nowhere starts yelling at us for ruining her shrubs. I lost 12 men and a leg in that skirmish."
Until recently it was generally accepted that Eisenhower's decision to invade Nazi occupied Europe through France was absolutely correct. However, with continued French condemnation, experts now feel Allied Forces should have landed at the beaches of Holland, and invaded Germany through Belgium, completely bypassing France. The victorious Allied forces could then have written a loophole into the German Peace Treaty allowing the Nazis to continue to occupy France while relinquishing all other holdings. According to scholars, the United States would have still won the war but more importantly achieved the greater objective, keeping the French from "mouthing-off for the rest of the century."
However, some historians argue that a victory in WWII couldn't have been assured without the images of euphoric American GI's merrily marching down the Champs-Elysees. "I'm not sure that scenes of mildly pleased allied troops briskly walking through The Hague would have made the same impact. Support for the war back home might have ebbed, and made defeat a real possibility," said Brian Strong, WWII Studies professor at West Point.
France, which was "deeply offended" by the statement, has requested the return
of the Statue of Liberty, the Louisiana Purchase, and anything with the name
Lafayette on it.
*plays taps*
*sniff...*
WASHINGTON -- After France once again lashed out at US foreign policy by condemning the recent air strikes on Iraq, Secretary of State Colin Powell issued a public apology to the families of the tens of thousands of soldiers that gave their lives, and to all Americans, for rescuing France during WWI and WWII. The contrite former General pleaded with the American people to accept the apology and move on from this misguided, charitable act. "It's time that we take a hard look at ourselves and ask 'what were we thinking?'" said Powell.
Eighty-two year old former Sergeant Larry Barnes, who served in France, applauded the apology. "It's about time. We knew something was wrong back then. We saved this one French family who had 14 Nazi officers shacked up in their chateau... we came plowing in there and shot everyone of those Krauts. Then some elderly French Lady comes over to us with a bottle of wine and out of nowhere starts yelling at us for ruining her shrubs. I lost 12 men and a leg in that skirmish."
Until recently it was generally accepted that Eisenhower's decision to invade Nazi occupied Europe through France was absolutely correct. However, with continued French condemnation, experts now feel Allied Forces should have landed at the beaches of Holland, and invaded Germany through Belgium, completely bypassing France. The victorious Allied forces could then have written a loophole into the German Peace Treaty allowing the Nazis to continue to occupy France while relinquishing all other holdings. According to scholars, the United States would have still won the war but more importantly achieved the greater objective, keeping the French from "mouthing-off for the rest of the century."
However, some historians argue that a victory in WWII couldn't have been assured without the images of euphoric American GI's merrily marching down the Champs-Elysees. "I'm not sure that scenes of mildly pleased allied troops briskly walking through The Hague would have made the same impact. Support for the war back home might have ebbed, and made defeat a real possibility," said Brian Strong, WWII Studies professor at West Point.
France, which was "deeply offended" by the statement, has requested the return
of the Statue of Liberty, the Louisiana Purchase, and anything with the name
Lafayette on it.
*plays taps*
*sniff...*