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Koliedrus
03-01-2001, 02:19 PM
in his seventies. He asked me to help him find some information on a particular disease. He learned about it from ONE of his doctors.

Being the noble soul that I am http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif, I supplied the information in hardcopy, categorized it into segments that are easily readable and received his thanks for my efforts.

It wasn't until after I read the text of my "research" that I learned that his disease is incurable at present and may not be curable until after he's pushing up daisies.

Question:

Should I have faked ignorance in order to save him from the knowledge he now holds in his hands or should he learn that he will soon die based on information given him by an untrained individual such as myself?

Not well worded but I'm typing one handed (my son requires tickles http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif )

Respond at will...



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Think = Good

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Mudflap
03-01-2001, 03:18 PM
<FONT COLOR="Orange">I'd want to know. If I hadn't done so already, it would give me the opportunity to put my affairs in order before I left this world. I wonder why his doctor didn't give him all of the information? In my mind, you did the right thing.</FONT c>

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Please be gentle with me.
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Koliedrus
03-01-2001, 04:14 PM
Agreed. Points taken.

This man has been turning (literally) to stone within a few months time. The nearest his physicians can determine, he's suffering from advanced stages of Scleroderma. It's already begun to affect his internal organs.

One of two things has happened today:


1. I've set someone on a path to treatment

2. I've destroyed all hope for survival


As I handed him the documents, he told me of the treatments he's endured for various ailments.

"When I talk about calling it quits, nobody wants to listen. They can't understand the pain I go through every day. The only reason I stick around... they want me here. I'm tired."


Damn. I shouldn't have been the one to break the news, no matter its accuracy.

Uberwonder
03-01-2001, 05:10 PM
I think that what you have done here is a great service to this man. He wanted and needed truth here.

What other options did you have?
To lie or falsify the documents? What a horrible disservice would that have been. To give false hope when there is no chance of recovery would deny him the opportunities to deal with the reality of his plight. Plus, he would eventually find out about your deception and then you both would have that bitter fruit to live with, him dying with your betrayal on his mind.

To refuse to give him what he asked for? Then you are simply turning your back on a friend in a great moment of need for the sake of your own comfort. You would find that comfort to be very temporary methinks.

You did the right thing. Put yourself in his shoes. I know that I would greatfully accept whatever was presented and at least know that I had one true friend in the world. I would imagine that he feels that now.
You have been a good friend.

Koliedrus
03-01-2001, 06:32 PM
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<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Uberwonder:
What other options did you have?

[/quote]

I've decided to get drunk, watch "The Wall", and cry until my tears
have no source.

Life goes on, people. Sometimes it ends.


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Think = Good

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Cruise Director
03-01-2001, 06:36 PM
Kol,

You did the right thing. Chances are that the gentleman has "some" idea about what he had from the doctors. He wouldn't have asked you for more information if he wasn't passed the denial stage and didn't reaaly want to know. He has lived to a ripe old age and now needs you to be a friend. Comfort him if you can. Hopefully he has friends or family that will do this. Comfort, from you, can just come from being there.

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"It's not my fault you're too stupid to flip hamburgers. Blame God for that !"

King Bastard
03-01-2001, 08:21 PM
Hell yes you did the right thing. You just defined what it is to be human towards another person.

Think about it. If it were you, you'd want to know, wouldnt you? I certainly would.

Better to tell a hard truth than to opt for the easy lie.

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century

KiwiTrip
03-04-2001, 02:46 AM
<font color=limegreen> Kol.. you give me chills

the fact that you question your actions makes you a more wonderful person than you may think....

humility is a sign of greatness</font>

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Love like you have never been hurt
Dance like the music will never end
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Escape Artist
03-04-2001, 03:00 AM
Kol, you did the right thing. You could have lied, but what would that accomplish? At least the man knows and can prepare himself and his family now.

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Koliedrus
03-04-2001, 06:27 AM
No response. I have no news either way. Last time I saw him he was reading the stuff I gave him as he was walking to his car.

I have feelers out.

Rabble Rouser
03-04-2001, 12:20 PM
Kol, you definately did the right thing. One of the primary problems in this world today is people sugar-coating issues and lying to others in order to conceal reality. Too many people prefer to live in a fantasy world instead of the real one. I am proud that you did not contribute to this delusion. We need more people like you. I know if I had an incurable disease, I'd want to know, so I could make the most of the time I had remaining.

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"God prefers people who travel in style." - Casket salesman

Escape Artist
03-04-2001, 05:48 PM
I pretty much go by this...this...whatever the fuck you call it..it's too early in the day for all this shit!!! Goddamnit!!! http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

The truth can hurt for a moment, but a lie can hurt for a lifetime.

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Tribal chat, the 6th food group! (http://www.thehypertribe.net/irc/)
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Koliedrus
03-14-2001, 06:40 AM
A few hours ago, I spoke to him for the first time since I posted this thread. Looks like you were right about the honesty advice.

While he talked to me, he had one hand on my shoulder the entire time. He told me that he took the information I gave him to his doctors and was taken aback by the looks on their faces. He's under the impression that they were willing to keep him questioning his condition until it ran its course. Eventually they put their cards on the table.

"They told me I was in the advanced stages. *shrug* Hell, I may make it through the summer before it gets me. At least I'll know why. Thanks, you."

I cried. I'm doing it now. It won't be the last time.

Thank you all. Your advice was right on target.


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Think = Good

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[This message has been edited by Koliedrus (edited 03-14-2001).]

King Bastard
03-14-2001, 06:42 PM
And I'm willing to bet that we were on target as to how it made him feel as well. the fact that SOMEONE told him the truth, so he knew just what kind of fight lay ahead of him.

Kol, you own. for this act, and other reasons not readily recognized

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century