Advice from Colonel Dad

[Koliedrus]

The ol man had a lot of experience to back up the things he taught me. Sometimes I would just nod my head without really understanding what he was trying to teach me.

Here are some of his words of wisdom.

"Never date a co-worker."

(No shit! They're still there after you break up!)

"Never marry a girl until you've lived with her for at least two years."

(Followed that one times 2. He was right! AGAIN)

"Never loan money. Either give it to them or tell them 'no'."


I blew the last one. Well, sort of.

A friend of mine was in a predicament once upon a time and I helped him out with a thousand bucks. He promised to pay me back as his finances allowed.

I recalled the Colonel's advice and decided that the debt would indeed make our friendship uncomfortable. I called my friend and told him that the money was a gift.

A few weeks later, he handed me an envelope, patted me on the back, smiled and walked away. I was astounded! I couldn't imagine how he could have come up with the money so quickly. His finances were shot to hell.

I decided that it wouldn't be right to open the envelope on the spot so I waited until I got home.

Inside, I found a note requesting an additional thousand dollars.

We never spoke again.

Shame, too. He could make a guitar cry.

Live and learn.


Gimme some advice.

Edit: because it's an option.

[This message has been edited by Koliedrus (edited 12-28-2000).]

[Mr. Snrub]

Don't make friends with such tightasses

[King Bastard]

Unless you NEVER want to speak to your girlfriend/wife/significant other, DO NOT call them a cum guzzling road whore. Yup, learned that the hard way.

[TokenCracker]

yeah, cum guzzling road whore probably did it. maybe if you had only called her a cum guzzling whore.. who knows. road whore sounds harsh

[Koliedrus]

Originally posted by Mr. Snrub:
Don't make friends with such tightasses

I didn't know he was one until that day. His life sucks now so it's all good http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

Since the Colonel isn't around, I suppose I should take the reigns. You can quote me if you need to.

Let's see here... Think think... AH!

If you feel the need to call someone a cum guzzling road whore, you should. The relationship was over before the words left your mouth.

Here's one that has kept me out of jail, courtesy of the Colonel:

"If you ever wind up in jail, don't call me. You can rot there and make friends with Bubba."

I think I was 8 when he told me that one. Hey, it worked!

[Mudflap]

Best advice from MY dad:

"Don't touch that."

[King Bastard]

Originally posted by Koliedrus:

If you feel the need to call someone a cum guzzling road whore, you should. The relationship was over before the words left your mouth.



Do you realize the amount of shitty, know nothing people I could have shoved to the wayside had I lived my entire life by this philosophy?????

I should've become a forum regular years ago......

[Koliedrus]

At your service http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

Another tidbit was just forced to the surface:

"Courtesy is free. Its rewards are priceless."

Originally, Dad told me this one as he was teaching me to drive. As a result, I'm one of those people who let you pull into traffic or change lanes without giving you a bunch of shit about it. The wisdom has other applications as well.

Take, for instance, the many phone calls I field every day at home. A good portion of them are unsolicited sales calls. Now and again I receive one when I have a few minutes of spare time. When that happens, I choose a tactic and "play". I'm usually polite at first and then pounce on them when they're comfortable with me.

Moments ago, the tactic paid off with a door-to-door insurance salesman.

I can't take all the credit. My daughter helped.

I invited the gentleman in, allowed him to begin his spiel as the wheels churned in my head and heard my daughter running down the hallway to see the visitor. She sat in my lap and kissed me on the cheek as the salesman described burial plots.

I whispered, "Honey, do you have to go pee?" knowing that the question would begin an unstoppable sequence of events.

My little angel sheepishly nodded in the affirmative.

"Excuse me, sir. Would you mind if she sat on your lap while I get her juice cup?"

"Not at all! Come here little girl."

"DAAAADDEEEEE!!!"

"I'll be right back, hon."

It took 30 seconds and I never said a mean word to the piss-soaked bastard.

[King Bastard]

If that's true, and I'm not trying to call you a liar, yuor daughter and my son need to meet.....

Let the Uber-race be born!

Kol, keep in mind that most of this is jest. I know first hand how protective parents are, and say the above in a weak attempt at comedy. Sorry if I offended you with it.

[Koliedrus]

No offense taken, KB. In fact, the way I figure it, by the time she starts dating I'll be doing background-checks on God-knows-what she decides to drag home. Why not start now!

After all, my little Princess deserves to marry a prince even if he is Prince Bastard.

http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

It's all in fun, my friend.

What sort of fatherly advice were you given?
Anyone.

[King Bastard]

Every joke is half true....

You dont need to have 10 mediocre freinds, better to have 1 really good one.

A man who drinks should also be a man who eats..

And the ever popular, dont shit where you eat.

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I'm a firm beliver in a ruling class, especially since I rule: Randall Graves-Clerks

[Koliedrus]

Based on the length of time it's taken for anyone to reply to this topic, I assume:

A: No one else had a father

2. Your father's advice is (was) lacking

"Here's how you gut a fish when your
mamma's too drunk to handle a knife."

III - You don't give a shit about your father.

It's okay, I understand *sniff*. I'm gonna go take out my frustration on some unsuspecting, random individual now.


http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

[King Bastard]

Actually, this thread just seemed to vanish, and i took it that it got deleted or something. I have not seen it for days. Maybe the same is true for other Tribals.

lesse, more stuff Dad told me....

Always do your best, even if your best sucks.

Everything in moderation.

Umm, that's about it, really. He never really said anything prosaic to me. He'd just get pissed when I came home bloodied from yet ANOTHER fistfight. Just recently he found out that it was usually a 3-4 on 1 setting. That made HIM think for a bit....

wonders will never cease, will they?

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I'm a firm beliver in a ruling class, especially since I rule: Randall Graves-Clerks

[Koliedrus]

Yay! It worked! To be honest, KB, I forgot about this thread myself.

Ok, I'll 'fess up. Eventually I will be the one giving advice to my kids. Suggestions here may shape the lives of at least two potential adults.

Here's another from the Colonel:

A gun is always loaded even if you know it's not. Treat it with respect and caution. Before you hand a weapon to someone, keep your finger away from the trigger, point the barrel away from anywhere you don't want an accidentally fired round to go, open the breach, inspect the chamber for a round and hand it over. Keep your eye on the barrel and speak up if the person handling the weapon doesn't know what they're doing.


That one has probably saved a lot of lives since I haven't accidentally shot anyone. Nor has anyone accidentally discharged a weapon I've handed them.

That reminds me. I need to oil a few...

[King Bastard]

Funny story. My cuzzin and I took a mutual frien to an indoor range for her first foray into target shooting. She rents a Glock 19, we use his inhereted .45, and an older 17 without the rails. WE took the time to school her on the how's and why's of doing things the right way. I myself showed her how to load the clip at LEAST 4 times, as did the cuzzin.

Somehow, she managed to load the rrounds into the clips BACKWARDS.... I still cant see how. This scared the fuck out of me. She also did things like leave the weapon by the window behind the benches.... WE made her get the range guy so he would fix the ensuing jam that her foible caused.....

Embarrasment can be a good teaching tool.

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I'm a firm beliver in a ruling class, especially since I rule: Randall Graves-Clerks

[Koliedrus]

Originally posted by King Bastard:
Embarrasment can be a good teaching tool.



No Shit!

I took a hunter safety course when I was in scouts. Dad had already schooled me about the proper handling of different types of firearms so I knew I was ready.

When it came time to shoot skeet, we were each given a 20 guage and five shells for five targets. When my turn came, I had my weapon pointed skyward, stepped up to the platform and my shotgun discharged. Nerves.
I had chambered the shell and had my finger on the trigger. The many eyes of the crowd caused me to tense up and I pulled the trigger.

My first target was a throw-away but I pegged the other four http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif



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[Koliedrus]

I can't tell you why this one popped into memory but it has so here it is. I hope you won't mind if I paraphrase:

"Before you point a gun at someone, be prepared to kill or die. Having a weapon in your hands and knowing how to point it at someone doesn't guarantee that the outcome will be in your favor. I've attended funerals of good men who drew their weapon only to freeze at the prospect of taking someone's life."

I recall this advice being given to me while the Colonel was teaching me how to disassemble, clean, oil and reassemble the Winchester .22 mag rifle he had given me as a present. (I thought it was my first BB gun)

In later years he gave a handgun to me and my siblings. Each presentation was personal. I can only describe my particular event.

Again, he taught me how to disassemble the weapon. I had some trouble putting it back together but Dad was a patient man. Instead of giving me the answers he allowed me to puzzle it out for myself until I became truly confused. Then he smiled and slapped it together in seconds. I was astounded! Since I was a man having reached my eighteenth year, I was sure that my knowledge of the world contained very few gaps. In fact, I thought I could teach my father a two or thing. (Eventually I did. THAT made him smile as no other event before. When he displayed his pride in me he gave me a gift that I will carry to my grave)

I digress.

Later that evening he offered me a drink. He knew that I drank with my friends but this drink was Man to Man.

"Do you remember what I told you about pulling a gun on someone?"

"Yes sir!"

"If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to protect yourself or someone in your family, that weapon will change your life no matter how you use it. If it's taken away from you, you're a dead man. If you decide that it's best to pull the trigger, aim for the largest tartet you can see. Point at the chest. Don't try to land a fancy shot between the eyes and don't stop pulling the trigger until your clip is empty. SEALs and Rangers may be able to hit someone in the teeth but you're neither of those. That weapon has one purpose and one purpose only; to save your life."

My years have doubled since that conversation. My respect for my father and his wisdom has increased tenfold.

To date, I have never had to take or lose a life because of that one monumental conversation with the grandfather of my children.

I intend to pass this lesson to my own children.

[MAC]

This is an excellent topic.

My father tryed to teach me patience.
Thn one day he explained he wasn't teaching me patience he was practicing himself.

Most of the skills I have I picked up from other people, but he taught me how to pay attention and figure things out for myself.

He explained that you earn what you get.

He taught me that being free is about thinking free.

But mostly he always acted the way he said to act and he always treated me with respect.

I have found those two things to be the hardest to live up to.

My dad was a sergeant.

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Its Yak Shaving Day!
Its Yak Shaving Day!

[This message has been edited by theMAC (edited 03-25-2001).]

[Dragon Lady]

My father the Colonel is gone now (4) years...he was the best man i ever knew...he taught me country, family and to walk straight, and tall, and to point my toes and my nose straight ahead.. to love this country...and Old Glory...and when you do something...do it right the first time...then you don't have to waste time doing it till you get it right...and to tell the truth 'always'..and when I went out on a date to look in the back seat and i would see him sitting there, you know it worked! ..he was in the Air Force...he loved this country..he fought for it in Europe, Korea, Viet Nam..he did't talk about what he did..he couldn't..wouldn't...he taught me to be proud of who I am and where I come from...and to live my life so as to be able to hold my head up high...he set standards that today still hold true...he always said to me...'one night you will go to sleep and wake up the next morning and say Dad, how did you get so smart over night'..? And you know what..? It happened just that way...I miss him..I always will...he left me much better off than when he found me..! I hope my children say the same about me .. someday..! After all, I am a chip off the ole' block..!

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deal with it

[MAC]

I am finding that you can learn a lot about a person by what they credit their parents with.

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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

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[skalie]

words of wisdom from my Old man....

......if you want to keep something secret don't tell your mother.

[Koliedrus]

Although the Colonel was a wise man and experienced much, I've realized for years that I would come upon circumstances that would be completely out of his realm. Not that he wouldn't have had the ability to grasp the concepts given enough time (how sweet and short).

Yesterday, I played with Barbie dolls.


STOP THAT!

My daughter had trouble getting the shirt on one of her dolls. The "shirt" turned out to be a pair of pants with a skirt attached. No matter how I tried, she kept insisting that it was indeed a shirt. Even when I showed her how nice it looked on Barbie, she pitched a fit when she found out that she couldn't have it her way.

Instead of trying the "I'm right, you're wrong" thing, Holly and I went for a whole new outfit. We looked through what we had and came up with something we both liked.

After some time, she picked up the pant/skirt thing and asked if I would help her put it on a different Barbie.

She got it. Once the anger fizzled, she understood. Still, though, she's hard-headed like her old man and didn't want to give in completely.

God. She's not even five years old! I'm doomed once she reaches her teens unless I start planning now.

Odd though it might seem to me now, the Colonel would probably have done the same thing if he were alive. He was a big softy deep down. Now I just have to deal with the fact that my daughter has a twisted sense of fashion and can break noses.

I'm creating a monster!



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May fortune favor the foolish.