What the hell has happened to me?

[Rabble Rouser]

Okay, people, I apologize in advance, but this is going to be a very bitchy and whiny thread. And if you're just gonna be a smartass, keep your opinions to yourself, because I'm in no mood to deal with it.

Over the past few months, I've become a completely different person. It's hard to believe that a year ago at this time, I was happy. I was fulfilled (for the most part). I felt like I was moving ahead in life. Now, I sicken myself. I'm miserable, not moving anywhere, and lonely now that all of my friends have moved on (and away) with their lives.

Most of it has been stuff that I had no control of. I couldn't control the fact that my college denied all my financial aid for no reason and the college I had hoped to attend now refused to contact me. That's how I got where I am now...working all time. Unlike most people my age, I'm not given everything I want. I've struggled for everything, and it's gotten me nowhere. I still don't have a car, an apartment, or a sex life, things most people have when they're 16. I'm almost 20...and my life has amounted to nothing, regardless of how hard I try.

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I'm tired of trying when I know it's not going to help me. I'm tired of slaving away 40-50 hours a week and then having the government take over half of my paycheck. I'm tired of trying to meet new people and having them spit in my face.

I have no energy left. I can't do anything I used to enjoy anymore. I have no talents anymore. It kills me when I hear others talk about how good they are at things, and realize that I'm not good at anything. Where have my talents gone? Where has my independence and strong will gone? What's happened to me???

Again, I'm sorry to whine like this, but I just needed to get that out...as an explanation. It's not you...it's me.

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"God prefers people who travel in style." - Casket salesman

[3MTA3]

In leu of a cliche...I can only tell you that it gets better...maybe that was cliche too...I dunno...but it does...

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[insert lame quote/comment here]

[D_I]

Im sorry Rabble. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/frown.gif

Just dont give up. You are still young. Keep trying.

This day seems really sucky for alot of people today. I love redundancy.

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[gone~away]

Rabble... the futility you feel is not unique. You have every right to feel down, but you have to understand that so many people feel like you.

We have been trained in our everyday lives, whether it be by our school system as we watch the small portion of people who have it all to the media where in our entertainment EVERYONE has it alll, to believe that life, if you work hard enough, will be great.

this is a farce, at least partially.

everyone has a hard time in their life.. some more than others.. some experience it through a turbulent childhood, some through a rocky adolescence, some through a poverty stricken early adulthood, etc.

the point is, you are a good and decent person rabble, you work hard and you have a good sense of morals. you will not be shafted for your whole life.. you are too smart to allow yourself to be beat up on for long.

things seem unbearable now, i know, but good things come to those who wait... this i can say with a guarantee...

ride through the tough times rabble, and use them as education during the good times

good luck in life rabble, though i dont think you'll need it, i promise you you will do fine.

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[Mudflap]

<FONT COLOR="Orange">Cliche as fuck, but it applies:

What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

Self motivation is the key to survival Rabble. Dig deep. Find it. Nurture it. YOU are the only person that YOU will be able to count on 100% for the rest of your life.

Think of someone whom you would consider to be a personal inspiration to you. A hero, so to speak. Ask yourself "What would (hero figure) do in my situation?"

I hope this helps. Never quit. Never surrender. Never give up.</FONT c>

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Please be gentle with me.
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[Stevo]

Rabble, It makes me happy to no i'm not the only one feeling like that.. but it makes me sad too. All i can tell you is just to live on. It's lame and everything but just do it. I question my life and my direction everyday. I question my job, i question my future. The only thing that keeps me going is my pathetic need for you people. a false sense of belonging that might make me an extrememly poor example of a human. But that's that. I find comfort knowing i'm not the only one out there that is in the pits. Just live things one day at a time. Taxes are shitty. Life can be shitty but for me there's always video rentals and the occasional video-game. It's the little things that truly matter. At least to me. Don't worry, you're a fine individual, you'll make it through this.

I hope.

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she's got everything i need..... pharmacy keys<font color="black">

[This message has been edited by Stevo (edited 02-27-2001).]

[King Bastard]

Rabble, as has been said, you're not alone in this thing you aer dealing with.

I look back at my adolescnece, and wonder what ever happened to that guy. The one who stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. The one who had all the right words at the right times to make all the right people gush.

now, I while away the hours between lifes meaningless frustrations here, or other places on the net. Not to say that i dont value the relationships I'v eforged here online. but I'm saying that we all grow and change. You, as I, have noticed this. and I'd like ot think that people like us gain something for all these things we seem to feel that we've lost.

Hopefully all we've said will ease the pain a bit.

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Borne of sin, C',mon in... Andre Linoge; Storm of the Century

[Mudflap]

Here is some inspiration from one of my heros, Jim Valvano. (http://www.jimmyv.org/dontgiveup.ram)

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Please be gentle with me.
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[John the barstard]

Is this not what everyone goes through when 'almost 20', a cross roads in ones life, no more a free and easy teenager?

I remember getting horribly depressed, it was worse turning 30, asking myself if I was middle-aged yet.

I can foresee turning 40, 50, and 60, if I make it that far, being equally miserable.

The inbetween years have been really cool though.

[Poteen]

Check your PM's

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Geocities can suck my brass nuts!!

[SisterTaffy]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Poteen:
Check your PM's
[/quote]

Yes dear, check your PM. I sent you a special prayer. And hang in there. You are one tough number and this shall pass in time. Just don't let it eat you away. It's not worth it.

Sister Taffy



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The Foremost Authority On All Things Biblical (http://www.sistertaffy.com) .

[Rabble Rouser]

Thanks so much for your words, guys. It helps to know that I'm not alone, because out here (irl) I am. Sometimes I wonder if part of my problem is that I just think too much. I want to shut my brain up, but I've been down that road before and vowed I will never go back. Sometimes, talking to you guys and other people who have been where I am is the only thing that keeps me sane. I can't say for sure at this point what I'm going to do, but I wanted to thank you all.

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"God prefers people who travel in style." - Casket salesman

[Koliedrus]

Pull up a chair. Uncle Kol has a story to tell you.

I was 20 at least once. Those times seem far away in time but the experiences are right in front of me.

Remember how difficult it was to deal with puberty? The shocks don't stop. You learn how to take them as they come. Each one seems impossible to overcome until you see them in retrospect.

As many have already said, your difficulties are commonly shared. You will either find yourself on the other side of this looming mountain or... not. Based on what you've shown of your "self" I think you may end up guiding others who will feel just as helpless as you do right now.

Your abilities haven't been lost. They will always remain part of who you are. When it's time for them to explode from your being I'll be watching with eyes wide open (unless I've croaked, then one of my kids will respond for me http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif )

Hold tight, girl. Life is a rough ride but it's a shitload of fun!

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Think = Good

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[zoey]

i'm sorry to hear this, rabble...it seems life likes to be rough on those who deserve that the least. Just know that i understand how you feel completely. i know many people say that, but trust me i'm not just saying it to make you feel better, and you have every right to bitch about it because nobody deserves to feel this way. I hope it all works out.

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<IMG SRC="http://engine09.com/tribesig.jpg" border=0>Don't blame me (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/wishlist/2V8Q3IB8F9B0X/ref=wl_em_to/107-2865667-5707752?add-fav=1) when little eric jumps off the terrace, you (http://mangled.org) should have been watching him, apparently you ain't parents (http://engine09.com)

[FunkaY]

Rabble, What you posted was pretty much my life as it is now. Shit happens, life sucks..and the last few months for me have just been totally fucked. I got a 'great' job, then it turned sucky..I had an awesome group of friends and they are all gone now..and my family is pretty r00ted too.

I fucking WISH with all my heart that I could go back 4 years and be as happy as I was then, but that aint going to happen. So im just going to plod along and live in the hope that things do get better. I have one, maybe two friends..and being the person I am wont ever meet any more..so I'll just try to hold on to what I can to remind me of what it used to be like.

FFS..now im all unhappy for work =\ Oh well 2nd last day of the week wooooooHAA!