Living a life as a chamleon [Archive]

View Full Version : Living a life as a chamleon

SuperUnknown

08-07-2001, 10:45 AM

All my life I have realised that I am different. I have a mental, moral and physical flexibility that allows me to be almost whoever I want (except black or 4"12, but you know what I mean). I can be 5 different people on 5 different days, for 5 different people. And so I have done this for all my life, I am a ghost, a chameleon, someone you do not see for what it really is, an illusion. And since I had intimate knowledge early on of what I could be and could do, I never got to really know myself, I am too diverse to be anything concrete. If I need to gain somthing I gain it, and be someone to do that. I can be a loving b/f one moment, a raver the next, a hood the moment after, a geek, an anarchist, a conservative. I can argue anything from any side, given a short amount of time, and do so convincingly. I am so many things, I don't know what is real, what is me. What I am. Emotions only play the role I let them, I can turn them off at will. Its fucking scary when I think about it, but its not, because I dont want it to be. There is so little that is me. And yet I can't change, I don't think, as it is part of me, the chamleon, and so what can I do?????????????????????

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a.k.a Time Slipping, Time Slipping Mark2, The Ghost Who Walks

RESPECT. Use it.

Koliedrus

08-07-2001, 11:41 AM

Chameleons change their colors as a defensive mechanism. They still end up getting captured or eaten.

You've learned how to "fit in". That's nice. In fact, it can be a tool for your betterment OR it can become the instrument of your demise.

From what you've described above, you try to make those around you feel comfortable with who you are at the moment. The corporate world calls you a "Yes Man". You have no foundation or opinions of your own (bear with me, I'm generalizing).

What happens when two of those five people cross paths on a single day? If that's never happened to you, count yourself lucky. Myself, I call them "two-faced" and "conniving" before disregarding them altogether.

Are you allowing yourself to be led around by anyone whom succeeds in grasping the ring in your nose?

Find out who "You" are. If I have to piss you off to do so, so be it.

Thank me later.

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Oyster-brain in a cookie jar.

MAC

08-07-2001, 12:48 PM

Kol, summed it up nicely.

I'm willing to bet you have an actual persona thats definately you but you probably keep it buried to prevent it from being beaten down by the other characters.

I bet if you take a step back you'll notice that the same character is in all these different people.

We'll see.

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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

<IMG SRC="http://www.tyler.net/roguewarrior/images/macsnake.jpg" border=0>

SuperUnknown

08-07-2001, 01:38 PM

you don't get it. It is all to my advantage, who I am. It is designed to generate for effect. So I am so many people for so many people is to my advantage as a person, I create myself into the situation to give myself the advantage, the information, to get what I want. And its natural for me. And its completely Machivelian in nature, which is what scares me. But to be completely malable to suit the situation, to have no real defining ethics or morals, except when it suits me as a person. And that is what i hate about myself, its so selfish. I can create myself to be a better person, but that is only to my advantage, there is no 'natural' feeling about it. It shits me. And shits people who 'know' me and then hear other stories which 'contradict' my personality which I show them. Leaving me untouchable. Perhaps it is a defence mechanism, but I have never really been persecuted, never had to really prove myself. Perhaps that is it..................

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a.k.a Time Slipping, Time Slipping Mark2, The Ghost Who Walks

RESPECT. Use it.

Cruise Director

08-07-2001, 06:45 PM

It is a defense mechanism. When I was the younger Cruise, I had the same traits and tendancies. I was the "yes" man. I mistook being accepted in any crowd as hapiness. I found myself agreeing to and going along with things that I really didn't like. I was not able to stand on my own and have my own set of values.

It took almost 6 months of avoiding most people to realize what was important in my life. What opinions I really had, not because of general popularity, but because that's really how I felt. I won't tell you I didn't lose some aquantances over it. ( I don't call them friends because the friends stuck around.) I find it truly amazing how quickly you can disband a crowd just by being independant with your own set of values and opinions.

DON'T let others make your decisions.
DON'T go along with it because it's popular.

Independence will give you happiness.

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Some of it's magic..
Some of it's tragic..
But I've had a good life all the way.

Escape Artist

08-07-2001, 06:57 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by SuperUnknown:
All my life I have realised that I am different. [/quote]

You're referring to two different people and you don't even know it.

Go have a talk with the guy who just described all these traits, 'cause HE is the person you think doesn't exist.

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meaning comes from within...

baccaruda

08-08-2001, 05:23 AM

Have you ever read The Stranger (Camus)?

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We are building a fighting force of extra-ordinary magnitude.
We forge our spirits in the traditions of our ancestors.
You have our gratitude.

Koliedrus

08-08-2001, 11:40 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by baccaruda:
Have you ever read The Stranger (Camus)?

[/quote]
I, for one, have not. Could you provide me with a summary of why you think it's relevant? Take your time.

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Oyster-brain in a cookie jar.

Buddha's Penis!

08-08-2001, 08:02 PM

shit. i've read it and i think it is relevant in one way or another, but i'll be damned if i could say exactly how.

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you don't know anything until you know everything.

baccaruda

08-09-2001, 05:32 AM

Hmm. Make me think, why don't ya.

The main character is almost completely detatched from society. He reacts to events in ways that people expect, simply because he himself is not inclined in any certain direction. He is not given a name throughout the whole book, which helps him seem vague to the reader.
Basically, its relevance is in how the protagonist just goes with the flow. Albert Camus is/was an existentialist, and the concept of anomie (http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=anomie) is a very important influence or subject of much of Camus' work.
I have not read Camus or any philosophy in .. hummh. over a year, I guess. So if I'm off or not detailed enough that's why...


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We are building a fighting force of extra-ordinary magnitude.
We forge our spirits in the traditions of our ancestors.
You have our gratitude.