Its been such a long time.. I forgot how it felt. [Archive]

View Full Version : Its been such a long time.. I forgot how it felt.

estero

03-27-2001, 08:41 PM

and NO i'm not talking about sex. I think my boyfriend and I just broke up......I'm feeling so sick right now...Anyway, i wont go into the stupid details, he didnt' cheat on me and he didnt dump me but he still hurt my feelings.

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Buddha's Penis!

03-27-2001, 09:55 PM

yeah, that's shitty. BUT, if you feel you can love again, i've got livestock on standby.
the double-edged sword of being a girl on the internet: constant attention.
i don't mean to belittle your situation with "humour", though. here's a sad face from me too. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/frown.gif

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you don't know anything until you know everything.

estero

03-27-2001, 10:20 PM

Thanks guys.

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Koliedrus

03-28-2001, 12:42 PM

I remember those feelings and wouldn't wish them on anyone (aside from the girls who ripped out chunks of my soul). Kaye, I invite you to use me. In fact, use all of us. Describe your emotions. Tell us about how you deal with them. The responses from others who've experienced similar situations may help you get back to being yourself quicker than if you keep silent. I don't know about you but talking or writing about strong emotions helps me put them in perspective and deal with them.

Yes, I'm using you, too. A description of a memory pales in comparison to the actual experience. You have the opportunity to teach a valuable lesson by sharing that experience.

My personal cure for this circumstance has been unbridled self-indulgence. When I realize that a relationship has truly come to an end, I do whatever I want. When all is said and done, the damage done by others is repaired from within.

If those are your eyes in your sig, your asswipe ex(?) has done someone an enourmous favor. Bounce back quickly and he'll want to kick himself. If he grovels, rejoice silently and tell him that you had great times together but it's time for you to get serious about your life and move on. Regain your confidence in yourself, Kaye. You have every reason to do so.

estero

03-28-2001, 02:34 PM

Its been so long since something like this has happened to me... Rob was different because, we had died a long time before we actually broke up and Gary was already a part of my life. This time I'm really alone. I cried and cried until I was exhausted that I fell asleep.I woke up so early, which is odd for me, and I cried some more. I miss him so much. He's the first voice I heard when I woke up in the morning/afternoon and the last before I went to bed. Right now, I don't know how I'm ever going to get over this... and I know that I will.... it just seems so impossible right now.

I keep hearing the things he said to me last night... the mean things he said... Like, how I'm heartless and that Im so mean. That i never really loved him because if I did I wouldn't have treated him like that. and its true. How could I have ignored him when he was crying and hung up on him? (This was before we broke up, a fight we had beforehand) The way he hung up the phone, without letting me say goodbye, he hung up while I cried to him and begged him not to. I understand why he couldn't talk to me any longer, but that will always be my last memory.... how horrible.

I don't know how i'll get through today or tomorrow. I feel so broken... I just don't know what to do. I'm not suppose to get like this....

He is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met... and this is why it hurts so badly. My heart will never be the same.

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[This message has been edited by Kaye (edited 03-28-2001).]

MAC

03-28-2001, 11:01 PM

I can attest to one fact:
What you will not let go of will not let go of you.

I hope you feel better soon. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

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To reassemble
Repeat steps in reverse order.

Princess_Heather

03-29-2001, 01:14 AM

You need a Womens Day. Surround yourself with all your closest girl friends and do something fun. Keep them close by as much as possible. Keep yourself in the company of others. Study at the library - eat out at restaurants, etc. Don't sulk and be alone - especially around the times you and he would normally talk on the phone. Keep yourself distracted - learn something new to channel your energy - like kick boxing or something. Remove EVERY reminder of him from your life. Express your feelings in writing and then burn each page you fill with writing. Thats the only feeling better & getting over advice I have to give. I hope the grey skies clear up quickly.

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................Red On The Head... Fire In The Hole...
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[This message has been edited by Princess_Heather (edited 03-28-2001).]

estero

03-29-2001, 01:38 AM

I'm not ready to do that yet.

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Koliedrus

03-29-2001, 12:47 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Kaye:

He is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met... and this is why it hurts so badly. My heart will never be the same.

[/quote]

It's not my place to analyze your situation but I can make comparisons to my own experiences.

A good number of the relationships I've had were with The One. Once those feelings hit me, I open myself up and show them the rest of who I am. Most reciprocated and thus a relationship was born of trust, love and fascination with each other.

At some point in each of those, words were said that cannot be unsaid and/or actions were taken that cannot be undone. The first one struck me the hardest. Five years is an eternity to devote to someone when it's fully a quarter of your life. When I accepted that it was over between us, we met one last time. I hugged her, thanked her and expressed my wish that her life be full of joy (she dumped me). In later years we exchanged phonecalls as friends and she eventually asked me for permission to marry. Last I heard she has four children.

It's true that your heart will never be the same. That's as it should be. From here on out you'll be a bit more cautious. If I may use another analogy...

If you've never been in an auto accident you may not realize the danger ahead when a traffic light turns yellow so you speed up. Once you wake up from the collision, the healing begins and you vow never to ignore a caution light again. Your chances of making through a similar intersection have greatly increased.

Your collision happened only days ago. Your injuries are severe but you will be able to drive, walk, play the violin, sing, dance, laugh, cry, love...

As long as you remember, you can avoid repeating the incident. Only you and he can determine if the vehicles are beyond repair. I won't cast myself as your emotional physician or relationship-insurance adjuster.

I'm just one recovery-therapist who drops by from time to time to help you improve your condition so you can get back to leading your life.

[This message has been edited by Koliedrus (edited 03-29-2001).]

estero

03-29-2001, 03:09 PM

Today, I am angry. I am so angry. He's ignoring me. He ignores my phonecalls, he ignores my pages, he ignores my emails.... I'm angry now.

Maybe this is just want I need.

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Koliedrus

03-30-2001, 02:29 PM

You're chasing after him with broken spirit (legs). You can't get up and run so quickly!

No matter what your heart and mind contrive, any thoughts you express will undoubtedly be painful. Give yourself some time to heal.

Stand by...

MAC

04-06-2001, 12:13 PM

Well Darlin, how are you progressing?

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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

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King Bastard

04-06-2001, 02:55 PM

It's amazing how well Kol can put things. Anything I would have wanted to say to try to help has been said, and much better put than I could muster.

I dont think that ignoring the feelings you are having is a good idea tho. it's just putting off work that needs be done. If the feelings were unimportant, you wouldnt be having them. Just take the time to fully process all of what you are going thru right now. Feel everylitle mote of pain and joy that the memories of the relationship offer you, for that is what it's all about, the living of it. Kinda like the not being able to appreciate the light if it werent for the dark, you cant know real joy until after you have had real sorrow hit ya in the heart a few times.

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halo

04-09-2001, 06:08 AM

well im in a similar boat tonight kaye. i feel like someone kicked me in the stomach . im not going into personal details but i am not a happy camper right now.....i wish i owned a box of real kleenex.

*hugs kaye*

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its not that my glass is half empty, but that i need another cup

estero

04-24-2001, 01:57 PM

I haven't check this thread in a while but whomever replyed to it, I think you're great.

extra special hug for halo!

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Mudflap

05-13-2001, 10:09 PM

Kaye? How about an update? I hope you're doing better.

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Even the losers...
Get lucky sometimes.

Billyman

05-13-2001, 10:24 PM

its old, probably a little laim, but its true and i live but it........................................................................time heals all wounds.

Mudflap

05-13-2001, 10:51 PM

On the flipped side of that:

"Time wounds all heels."

Ouch!

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Even the losers...
Get lucky sometimes.

AcidzCraze

05-13-2001, 11:56 PM

I seem to be a bit late getting here, but I hope what I have to say can help somebody, if not Kaye.

I'm in the process of getting over my first love. He broke up with me in December. I'm almost there, but its been a long, hard road.

I had to welcome the pain. I had to admit that I felt angry, scared, sorrowful, and rejected.

I won't go into the details of my story, because we all have one, and the common ground is that it *hurts*. It fucking hurts.

What I learned helped tremendously was writing letters to him. Letters that he would never see. I would sit down, play the music, and feel the words. The first few letters were repedativesaying "I can't believe you did this to me, I hope you die".

Once I worked through the mess, my true feelings of the situation came out. Everytime I wrote a letter, the more at peace I would feel. I didn't have to worry about anyone reading them, and they helped me vent more than the ears that were leant to me.

I do this quite often now in for many situations when I'm feeling an emotion intensely, or when I'm confused about a situation.

I go back and read the ones reguarding my ex, and realize how far I have come. Its refreshing because I realize how I once felt, and I can actually *see* how it has gotten better. It gives me hope because I know it can only keep getting better.

I hope this helps.

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"Reality is that which when you stop believing it, it doesn't go away" -Philip K. Dick

rage

05-14-2001, 03:40 AM

having been fucked over, and having fucked people over (not purposefully, and sometimes it hurts worse than being fucked over), I know some how you feel. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/frown.gif and it isn't fun.

You're a beatiful girl, er, woman, excuse me, and if your anything in real life like you are on the board, you have a great personality. Remember that. And, remember to smile everyonce and a while http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif and hopefully to help you do that, here is a little quote from SNL that you need to repeat, while looking in the mirror.....

"I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darnit, THT likes me!"

...sorry bout being so late on the post, I hope everything works out for ya Kaye.

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estero

05-17-2001, 05:11 AM

Thanks guys, I really appreciate everything you said.

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