Paternity ????? [Archive] - The Hypertribe

05-01-2001, 07:19 PM

Do you think it is right for a mother to have a father (dead beat dad) sign away all rights to a child that they never see anyways?

------------------
Why do we love the one that hurts us? And hurt the one that loves us?

Dog Breath

05-01-2001, 07:36 PM

I think it is OK if the father consents. I had my wife's Ex sign over full custody of my step son before I adopted him. It was a good step. He owed tons of back alimony and child support (I think he paid $50 and stopped). I don't regret removing him from my son's life. My son never knew him and I wanted him to have my name, mainly so he would feel more part of our family unit.
On the other hand I would not want to see someone removed from a child's life over a dispute between his parents.
I came from a broken home and would feel very wronged if I was not allowed to see my father or mother.

------------------
Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
<IMG SRC="http://sites.netscape.net/mydogbreath/dogbre2.gif" border=0>

Buddha's Penis!

05-01-2001, 07:41 PM

my sister has a son, and she doesn't let the father anywhere near him. the guy doesn't make a real effort so i don't feel bad for him, but this is pretty much a case of my sister being ignorant, and a raging bitch. (she didn't put his name on the birth certificate, so no legal shit was necessary).
i don't think it's fair to keep a willing father away from his child. as for an unwilling father, fuck him. it doesn't really matter what he wants, and he doesn't care anyway.

------------------
you don't know anything until you know everything.

Pianomahnn

05-01-2001, 08:03 PM

IMHO, you shouldn't have a child if you can't see yourself on the front porch with the father when you're 80. End of story.

But that would be a happy place. People suck, and women fuck things up. As long as there is no abuse (mental or physical), the biological father should always be allowed to see his child. Hell, he had the same amount to do with the creation as the mother did.

People who divorce are fuckers. It's an easy way out. Seems the American people are all about easy solutions. People suck. Families more or less suck today as well. I swear, mine is the only funtional one around. Damnit. Damnit. And people wonder why kids are so angry. Put your fucking feelings aside, your wants and needs, and focus on the damn kids. You have no right to happiness when you're a parent. It's your only job to raise the child.

I'm going to stop now...I'm sorta off topic. Sorry.

------------------
<A HREF="http://www.pianomahnn.com" TARGET=_blank><IMG SRC="http://www.pianomahnn.com/logo.jpg" border=0></A>

05-01-2001, 09:58 PM

OK PIANO>>> CALM DOWN!! http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif 

The reason I ask this ?... My son is almost three, his father has been in and out of his life since the first time he ever saw him at 2 months old. His father does love my son, but has never made any big effort to do too much. When i found out i was preg., he had been dating me on and off for 4 years, came up preg., and low and behold " Are you sure it's mine?" WTF??? so baby was born, and he wouldn't even come see him... then i mailed a pic. and the next day calls to find out where his kid is. Moved to the town he lived in, and lived 2 1/2 miles from his house... he would come see him once every 3 or 4 weeks. sometimes a few days in a row, but not very often. Then i moved to where i live now, never came.. just got out of being in the state jail for a year.. been out since dec. has seen him 3 times, and that was only when i went to him. Piano you said think about the kids.... Do i teach my son to run over women? to get them pregnant and think their job is done? My parents who of course hate him, think i should have him sign away all rights, he has been out for almost 6 months now, had a job for 4 months now.. never helps, bought himself a car.. never comes to see him. We are talking about a 45 mile drive, not half way across the country! I think my son needs a father, and deserves that... So do i sign the papers or do i let him go through his life with a father that has hardly nothing to do with him, and what he sees of him is brief, son just loves to see the man even though it isn't often. Do i take that every now and then joy away to prevent further disappointment? I always said i would let my son decide when he is old enough to decide, but by that time, he will have learned the lessons that make me question signing the papers all together! Does that make sense?

------------------
Why do we love the one that hurts us? And hurt the one that loves us?

Pianomahnn

05-01-2001, 11:12 PM

You weren't married either, were you?

I was speaking of thinking about the children when the parents have been married. Because the child knows the family.

Children need BOTH male and female leaders in their lives. If the father sucks ass, then find a man who can fit the bill. But don't raise a child (regardless of gender) without a male figure.

I am making a request to the ladies...If you can't see the man your fucking changing a diaper and getting up in the night to check on the baby, then stop fucking him. This will not only make your life better, but will make any possibilties of pregnancy go away. This way you don't have to deal with a dead beat dad and a kid being raised in a day care center because mommmy has to work and dady smokes crack and is in jail.

Do you understand? I plead for this because it's one of the only ways to help get this country back together. All these people fighting, divorcing, etc. etc. is creating a breed of hateful kids with little or no mental stability. And I'm freaking scared.

------------------
<A HREF="http://www.pianomahnn.com" TARGET=_blank><IMG SRC="http://www.pianomahnn.com/logo.jpg" border=0></A>

Lady Sianna

05-02-2001, 12:49 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>originally posted by pianomahnn:

I am making a request to the ladies...If you can't see the man your fucking changing a diaper and getting up in the night to check on the baby, then stop fucking him. This will not only make your life better, but will make any possibilties of pregnancy go away. This way you don't have to deal with a dead beat dad and a kid being raised in a day care center because mommmy has to work and dady smokes crack and is in jail.[/quote]

there are MANY ways to avoid pregnancy...and it is the responsiblity of both parties.

fuck who, when & however you choose...but take responsibilty for your actions because yours may not be the only life involved.

------------------
to walk barefoot in the sand with the wind blowing through my sanity & laugh at the world...

Pianomahnn

05-02-2001, 12:51 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Lady Sianna:

fuck who, when & however you choose...but take responsibilty for your actions because yours may not be the only life involved.
[/quote]

See, that isn't going to happen. That's why I made that statement. I'm trying to avoid having some crackfiend take responsibility for something he can't be responsible for. Do you see? http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
<A HREF="http://www.pianomahnn.com" TARGET=_blank><IMG SRC="http://www.pianomahnn.com/logo.jpg" border=0></A>

05-02-2001, 03:31 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Pianomahnn:
You weren't married either, were you?

I was speaking of thinking about the children when the parents have been married. Because the child knows the family.

Children need BOTH male and female leaders in their lives. If the father sucks ass, then find a man who can fit the bill. But don't raise a child (regardless of gender) without a male figure.

I am making a request to the ladies...If you can't see the man your fucking changing a diaper and getting up in the night to check on the baby, then stop fucking him. This will not only make your life better, but will make any possibilties of pregnancy go away. This way you don't have to deal with a dead beat dad and a kid being raised in a day care center because mommmy has to work and dady smokes crack and is in jail.

Do you understand? I plead for this because it's one of the only ways to help get this country back together. All these people fighting, divorcing, etc. etc. is creating a breed of hateful kids with little or no mental stability. And I'm freaking scared.

[/quote]

No i was not married, and you say that if you can't see them changing the diaper and sticking around then quit fucking him... Have you ever made a mistake? I was with him for 4 years, and i did think that he would stay.. and i was very suprised when he did not! 

as for finding a man to help raise my son... I do a good job raising him on my own, and don't need a man to help me raise him, but i want my son to have that male influence in his life, and he does have one... what bothers me is his fathers on and off caring.. makes no sense to me, it isn't my fault or anything that i did, nor does it have anything to do with my son. But we suffer for this! 

i know i asked for your opinion and i appreciate it, i think we have jumped subjects a little, but i appreciate it none the less.. But point blank.. i wasn't a whore.. i wasn't sleeping with multiple people, i was involved in a long time relationship with this man, and had no reason to believe th at things wouldn't be just fine. His plans were a little different, but fear can do horrible things to you. He is not a bad guy, there is nothing wrong with him, we get along great.. but he makes bad decisions.. and i will not allow for my son to suffer for his lackings! I know this may sound like i'm pissed, i'm not, just this subject gets me sometimes, i wasn't doing anything wrong...yet i suffer and he lives life like nothing has ever changed. i know life isn't fair, but it's really fucked up sometimes! 

p.s. he wasn't in jail for anything to do with drugs... lol... http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/eek.gif 

------------------
Why do we love the one that hurts us? And hurt the one that loves us?

MAC

05-03-2001, 12:55 PM

Back on topic:

You don't have the child, the child has you

Your kid could be raised by monkeys or Europeans or Africans or Asians.
He/she doesn't care.
They just need enough stability to grow and develope with out deforming the character they are trying so hard to form.

Some kids need constant encouragment.
Some kids need to be left alone.
But all kids need something to call a family.

If you can give your child a good, safe, stable life for the next 15-20 years, do it.
Give them a real Mom and a real Dad.
And remember that you are showing them HOW to be a real parent.

Don't get caught up in 21st century bullshit.
Its not the public education or computers or vaccinations or child safety seats that allows kids to play and grow.
Its the parental concern that makes you use all those things.

------------------
Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

<IMG SRC="http://www.tyler.net/roguewarrior/images/macsnake.jpg" border=0>

Pianomahnn

05-04-2001, 04:39 AM

Hey, I wasn't calling you a whore at all. If I did, slap me. But I didn't. I don't think. Oh bother.

Point blank. New creatures (children, or any other mammal) are not really designed to be raised by one parent. Equal contributions from both sides are really important.

It really pisses me off when women say that dont need a man to help raise their child. THEY DO! But not the man who obviously made them feel that way.

All women should have ME as their man. I make good with children. And I make good with the women. But I'm single because I dont date people who smoke. It's nasty. And everyone in colleg smokes. So, uh...off topic...

I need a woman. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
<A HREF="http://www.pianomahnn.com" TARGET=_blank><IMG SRC="http://www.pianomahnn.com/logo.jpg" border=0></A>

Pianomahnn

05-04-2001, 04:39 AM

Oh, btw...all those colors were sexy. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
<A HREF="http://www.pianomahnn.com" TARGET=_blank><IMG SRC="http://www.pianomahnn.com/logo.jpg" border=0></A>

05-04-2001, 05:32 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Pianomahnn:
Oh, btw...all those colors were sexy. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

[/quote]

Sorry I smoke too... lol

and no you didn't call me a whore.. i was just saying that i wasn't one, it wasn't like a lot of girls now days that are like that come up preg, and just kind of play iny-meny-miny -moe.. to descibe who she will blame. I do need a man to help me raise my son but not to depend on him is what i was referring to..I agree that my kid needs a father, believe me i feel it everytime i see him look at other families.. or when i have to tell him not to call my boyfriend daddy/.... i assure you i know... http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
Why do we love the one that hurts us? And hurt the one that loves us?

05-04-2001, 06:46 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Pianomahnn:
Oh, btw...all those colors were sexy. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

[/quote]

But thank you for the whole sexy thing anyways... ya have to compliments where ever you can get them.. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
Why do we love the one that hurts us? And hurt the one that loves us?

[This message has been edited by Psychotic _ Bitch (edited 05-04-2001).]

Strider

05-06-2001, 11:07 PM

Veracity

05-06-2001, 11:17 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Pianomahnn:
People who divorce are fuckers. It's an easy way out. Seems the American people are all about easy solutions. People suck. Families more or less suck today as well. I swear, mine is the only funtional one around. Damnit. Damnit. And people wonder why kids are so angry. Put your fucking feelings aside, your wants and needs, and focus on the damn kids. You have no right to happiness when you're a parent. It's your only job to raise the child.
[/quote]

ARGHHHHHH
I agree that the most important job in this world is being a parent! And if you think that divorce is an easy way out then you apparently have never had to make that decision!
I don't post or reply often but this hit a raw nerve! I have three beautiful children and have been divorced almost a year now after being married a month shy of my 10th anniversary. The decision to get out of that smothering, verbally abusive, controlling relationship was the hardest thing I have had to go through in my life.
Just because I am a parent, I have no right to happiness?? I think that is a bunch of shit! I have just as much right to that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow as you or anybody else here does. AND BY GOD I'M GOING TO FIND IT... for me and my children.