MuffyTheVampyreLayer
02-06-2001, 03:18 PM
I am not entirely sure that this is the appropriate forum for this thread, but it is lessons, and this is a rant about something I've learnt...
Well, it has been an interesting holiday for me, being stuck in smelly old Dunedin due to moving house limiting travel options, so the majority of what would usually been the time of year I would head up north for a bit of surf has been spent holed away from the rain, in front of my puter, chatting to people like you, and reading other peoples posts.
It has also been a time for watching the creation of this new forum, and watching people interacting with each other in a new environment.
It is always interesting to me to watch people bounce ideas off each other, and see stimulating discussion. This forum is a great place for that. That's not what this rant is about though.
Being caught recently in the forum wars, or whatever you want to call it, with a million and one people messaging me, emailing me, threatening me, has been an interesting experience for how I view people.
Some of you I have gotten to know at a more than superficial level, others post and I am still left thinking 'who the fuck are you?', but one thing I have noticed is that many of the people who post here have some sort of sliding scale which they cater their posts to, the measure being their own popularity.
I see people hold back on expressing, or even changing an opinion, solely because it is going to piss someone off, and god forbid should that someone be admin!!!! You (not all of you) repress yourselves to supposedly look good in the eyes of others, and then base your views around this image you have created.
Sure, the comraderie in here is good to see, like watching several big warped happy families. And I don't have a problem with people who just want to go with the flow, or not create waves, hell, it certainly makes for a smoother ride.
But, anyway, now that you have some sketchy background for the basis of my opinion, I shall get to the point. I think the lesson I have learned as of late, is that people limit their own freedom through their desire to be socially desirable. I guess we all do it to some extent, not wanting to say what we really think, or how we really feel out of fear of other peoples ridicule. But, I don't know, it just seems a shame to me. We all have personality quirks which make us weird to others, but also make us who we are. I like tacky b grade movies, outdated clothes, mental eighty's music, swimming in the rain, and eating ice-cream in bed. I guess that makes me inferior in some peoples eyes. That's sad.
I don't want to be held back by other peoples opinions of me, or by my own insecurities about those opinions. I want to be proud of who I am, and what I do, and be able to say 'hey, I may have crap taste, but hell I'm a good swimmer' without fear. Why should we feel that we have to be meek and humble and 'socially acceptable'? Hell, sometimes I don't even want to be nice, my bitchiness is part of who I am.
So I guess my lesson is that, as I have always know, even freedom has it's price. Being yourself in this world comes at the expense of suffering others ridicule. And that is one of the saddest things I have ever had to learn.
But- This is the fucking internet, and I don't have to put up with any of the crap I see here in my day to day life. So screw those of you that would belittle me for who I am. Fuck all of you that think I should change. And those of you that don't approve of me can kiss my hairy buttocks. There is very few places left in this world that I can be myself in - I have to conform to the law societies ideals of what a good little lawyer should be, my own restrictions on how a good mother should behave - I have to pander to the feelings of those I love, and live within the guidelines of legislation written by some hairy fat bastard I never even voted for - In all of this, I lose a little more freedom everyday. And that is why I am never, ever, going to play that game on line as well. This is not the real world, we are not eachothers real peers, and that gives me a greater sense of freedom.
This is just a random blathering at 4am, I will probably regret sharing it later on in the day.
------------------
Bite me.
[This message has been edited by MuffyTheVampyreLayer (edited 02-06-2001).]
Well, it has been an interesting holiday for me, being stuck in smelly old Dunedin due to moving house limiting travel options, so the majority of what would usually been the time of year I would head up north for a bit of surf has been spent holed away from the rain, in front of my puter, chatting to people like you, and reading other peoples posts.
It has also been a time for watching the creation of this new forum, and watching people interacting with each other in a new environment.
It is always interesting to me to watch people bounce ideas off each other, and see stimulating discussion. This forum is a great place for that. That's not what this rant is about though.
Being caught recently in the forum wars, or whatever you want to call it, with a million and one people messaging me, emailing me, threatening me, has been an interesting experience for how I view people.
Some of you I have gotten to know at a more than superficial level, others post and I am still left thinking 'who the fuck are you?', but one thing I have noticed is that many of the people who post here have some sort of sliding scale which they cater their posts to, the measure being their own popularity.
I see people hold back on expressing, or even changing an opinion, solely because it is going to piss someone off, and god forbid should that someone be admin!!!! You (not all of you) repress yourselves to supposedly look good in the eyes of others, and then base your views around this image you have created.
Sure, the comraderie in here is good to see, like watching several big warped happy families. And I don't have a problem with people who just want to go with the flow, or not create waves, hell, it certainly makes for a smoother ride.
But, anyway, now that you have some sketchy background for the basis of my opinion, I shall get to the point. I think the lesson I have learned as of late, is that people limit their own freedom through their desire to be socially desirable. I guess we all do it to some extent, not wanting to say what we really think, or how we really feel out of fear of other peoples ridicule. But, I don't know, it just seems a shame to me. We all have personality quirks which make us weird to others, but also make us who we are. I like tacky b grade movies, outdated clothes, mental eighty's music, swimming in the rain, and eating ice-cream in bed. I guess that makes me inferior in some peoples eyes. That's sad.
I don't want to be held back by other peoples opinions of me, or by my own insecurities about those opinions. I want to be proud of who I am, and what I do, and be able to say 'hey, I may have crap taste, but hell I'm a good swimmer' without fear. Why should we feel that we have to be meek and humble and 'socially acceptable'? Hell, sometimes I don't even want to be nice, my bitchiness is part of who I am.
So I guess my lesson is that, as I have always know, even freedom has it's price. Being yourself in this world comes at the expense of suffering others ridicule. And that is one of the saddest things I have ever had to learn.
But- This is the fucking internet, and I don't have to put up with any of the crap I see here in my day to day life. So screw those of you that would belittle me for who I am. Fuck all of you that think I should change. And those of you that don't approve of me can kiss my hairy buttocks. There is very few places left in this world that I can be myself in - I have to conform to the law societies ideals of what a good little lawyer should be, my own restrictions on how a good mother should behave - I have to pander to the feelings of those I love, and live within the guidelines of legislation written by some hairy fat bastard I never even voted for - In all of this, I lose a little more freedom everyday. And that is why I am never, ever, going to play that game on line as well. This is not the real world, we are not eachothers real peers, and that gives me a greater sense of freedom.
This is just a random blathering at 4am, I will probably regret sharing it later on in the day.
------------------
Bite me.
[This message has been edited by MuffyTheVampyreLayer (edited 02-06-2001).]