what to say? [Archive] - The Hypertribe

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Faceplant

01-26-2001, 03:55 AM

what do i say to my friend...he wants to die, he has a death wish.

this tuesday he took a handful of a bunch of different pills and wound up in the hospital, and spent the next day at a shrinks office..

wednessday..slices up his arm with a new razor blade, hospital again.

he needs someone to talk to, and its me..ive tried my dammedist to fix him in the head, but it aint working...

i dont know what to say to him.nothing helps, all he wants is to know ways to kill himself..and that CANT happen..

what else can i say to him, what hotlines can i call, where else can i bring him?

please help.

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Horgasm

01-26-2001, 04:23 AM

First it sounds like he is seriously in trouble. If he has attempted it twice already and he is still "unstable" he should definately NOT be left alone for any amount of time. He needs some help and perhaps should be admitted in an inpatient treatment facility for mental evaluation. He may not respond very well to this kind of idea but many people have been through trying times such as his.
You along with other friends and family HAVE to be at his side supporting him as much as possibile. Give him words of encouragement and reassure him that, as a friend, you are there to help him any way you can
I helped someone in a very similar situation afew years ago. He was removed from the army but he got his life back together and is doing fine now.

With treatment and support he can get through this low point in his life and move on to better times.

This site offers many resources and some links to local help: http://suicidehotlines.com

Good Luck My friend!! !

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About time to DRINK SOME
BURKINA FASO.. .

King Bastard

01-26-2001, 04:27 AM

Well, ther are homes/programs that wil come and take away dangerous alcoholics, so I would venture the same holds true for thos ein need of pysch care. Just call a few state #'s and see what they have to say. Or better yet, do a search for local homes on the net.

not to be rude, but unless you are trained to help those in this type of mental state, I doubt you van do any real good for your freind. You can be there to offer a kind shoulder, but little else. this is not a slight against you, merely my take on this.

If you really wan to help, get him some pro's to talk with. People who know how to handle this type of thing.

Much luck to you both.

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Princess_Heather

01-26-2001, 06:04 AM

As his friend, there is nothing you can say. In fact, there really isn't anything anyone can say or do to fix the chemical imbalances in his brain that cause this self destructive behavior. He needs realize the value of his life on his own and decide on his own to stop attempting suicide. Locking him up will prevent it temporarily, but as soon as he is set free he will try again.

He needs love. He needs to know he is supported. He just needs you to be there to listen to him, to comfort him. Spend time with him, invite yourself over, be with him as much as possible. When you are with him, he is less likely to try and take his life. Take him out to do things like movies and beers. Let him know you care. BUT YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT IS ALL YOU CAN DO. YOU ALONE CAN NOT FIX HIM. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO BE HIS SHRINK. BE HIS FRIEND AND MAKE SURE HE KNOWS YOU CARE AND ARE HURT EACH TIME HE HURTS HIMSELF.

He should be put on some medication and be seeing a psychiatrist to help him find the root of his serrotonin deffeciency and help him to deal with it constructively.

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................Red On The Head... Fire In The Hole...
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[This message has been edited by Princess_Heather (edited 01-26-2001).]

Koliedrus

01-26-2001, 02:30 PM

You've been put on the right path, Faceplant. I applaude the wisdom imparted.

Your friend requires professional help. Your efforts (although selfless and well intentioned) may not help your friend realize the finality of suicide.

Once done, there's no cure. You're currently reading the words of an eighteen-year-old man who decided not to twitch his finger and send a bullet through his brain.

Now I'm twice that age. The choice to live was one that I cherish in retrospect and is evident with each passing moment.

I chose to live. I also chose to make my life better. The responsibility eventually falls on the individual.

Go look at "A Gift" in this forum and you'll see one of the reasons I'm glad my muscles didn't twitch.

Your friend needs hope. We all need reasons to live. Sometimes you can teach by example but don't take on the responsibility of someone else's life into your own hands alone.

Seek guidance (as you have) and do your best to keep your friend around. If you must physically intervene, do so as long as you are in no danger of coming to harm and call 911.

If you need personal assistance, my email address is in my profile. Just in case, it's also here .

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RIF

Check into Tribal Chat! (http://www.thehypertribe.net/irc/)
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Faceplant

01-26-2001, 11:00 PM

thank you much, friends.

when i say i want to help him, i mean that i want to talk to him, and talk him out of it, friend wise...not have a mental over haul done by me.

the thing is, he doesnt take well to love, i dont think he has any,and alot of his priorities arent right.

i think i just might call a hotline, and tell them everything, and see what they say, and finally call another number and try to have him always supervised, or taken away, so i dont get my hands dirty, because im not an expert.

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Koliedrus

01-27-2001, 02:18 PM

Here's something you can tell your friend now that I'm sure you're intentions are genuine:

"I don't want you to die. I'll help you find reasons to live. I promise. You already have one; me."

Continue to seek professional assistance to assure that your friend remains here.

GO! NOW!

Faceplant

01-29-2001, 08:30 PM

hunt- its den...i just couldnt take it anymore...its more than love that i need, its not your fault..i love you..see you in the after.

is the note that was deliverd by his mother bout 5 minutes ago after he slit his wrist.

i dont even feel like crying, iam in my own world now..

im trying to go bout this by myself...i dont know what else to say..

thanks for your tips friends...but i just dont know.

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King Bastard

01-29-2001, 10:37 PM

Again, I am sure I speak fo rall of us when I say that I'm very sorry to hear this.

As stated in MFC, if you need us to listen, we will.

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Koliedrus

01-30-2001, 03:12 PM

All,

For the time-being, I respectfully ask that you allow this topic to remain inert.

The next post here belongs to Faceplant.

I thank you in advance for appreciating the magnitude of my request.

Faceplant

01-30-2001, 07:53 PM

all i really have to say. again..is thank you all, for all of your support...the wake is tonight and i dont think i will go...im not sure if i can or not yet..

once again, thanks for everything folks.

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Koliedrus

01-31-2001, 11:41 AM

The title of this thread has taken on a new meaning. What do you say to those close to someone who has taken their own life?

There's no easy answer to that question. I know. I'm one of those left behind.

When my best friend from birth took his life recently, many people began blaming themselves for actions taken or not taken.

"I should have..." and "I shouldn't have..." tend to begin long periods of self-punishment.

I will always grieve for the loss of my friend but the self-punishment is over. After I realized that there was nothing I could have done to stop him, I became angry with him. Now the anger has passed and I just feel a great emptiness in my soul where he used to dwell. That hole too will slowly be filled with fond memories of our time together instead or his final act.

Since I'm going through this with you, Face (as are many others), I hope you'll allow us to ask questions of each other and discuss the thoughts and emotions that accompany such a life-changing experience.

I'm not asking you to take center stage by any means. You have a lot ahead of you. If you wish to describe what you're going through, please do. Otherwise, don't feel obligated to respond until you're cool with it.

There's nothing you can do for your friend now but his family is still around. If you can find the strength to go to his wake, do so. I didn't. I should have.

Tribals, I'm proud of you all for gathering together like this when it's truly needed. The lessons you teach may benefit only one person. Teach! One life saved is a priceless reward.

I know. I once considered myself to be "rich" that way. One lost life made me poor again.