The new government and religion...complete BS

[Asmodeus]

Now, to those I have left out, come up with your own titles and duties. And those I haven't left out, come up with your own duties...

This is a complete farce, so be creative.

theMAC- High Priest

Rogue Warrior- Minister of Ideology, YOIKES(Yesterday's Obvious Intelligence for Extraditing Stupidity), and War.

Asmodeus- Minister of Education, Imagination, and Moral Terpitude

Mudflap- Minister of Agriculture

Koliedrus- Minister of Science and Technology

Psychotic Bitch- Minister of Sexuality

Squee- Minister of Sarcasm and Censorship

Mr. Snrub- Minister of Procreation(fills in part time on the weekends for the Ministry of War driving tanks and fucking shit up)

Billyman- Minister of Defense

Kayla- Minister of Youth

Rabble Rouser- Minister of Justice, Crime and Punishment

Cruise Director- Minister of Foriegn Relations

Total Anarchy- Minister of Security and Propaganda(PMS)

Lady Sianna- Minister of Eloquence(works with the the Minister of Security and Propaganda)

Pianoman- Minister of Recreation of Employing HEdonistic and Androgeneous Delights (MOREHEAD)

Back Tick- Minister of Antisocials with a Certain Destructive And Demonstrativly Defensive capabilitY (MACDADDY)

creepingdeath- Minister of REeducation for the Aquisition and Silencing of Stupidity) MOREASS)

Skeet- Minister of the World's Haphazard Organization of Revitalizing the mEdia (WHORE)

Rage- Minister of Dogma

gone~away- Minister of Bleeding Heart, Liberal Types

Mute- Village Idiot

Disturbed- Village Idiot

Position of Mr. Prostitute open till further notice. Applicants should be female, basically know the ins and outs of the said position. Degree optional, tools of the trade required, experience preferred.
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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[This message has been edited by Asmodeus (edited 10-19-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Asmodeus (edited 10-19-2001).]

[Asmodeus]

Who do you have in mind for the job?

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[mute]

Mute - Village Idiot ?

http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

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<IMG SRC="http://www.escape000.f2s.com/megaman.gif" border=0>

[Lady Sianna]

<FONT COLOR="purple">minister of...</FONT c>




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<FONT COLOR="red">Essence is emptiness. Everything else, accidental. Emptiness brings peace to your loving. Everything else, disease. In this world of trickery, emptiness is what your soul wants. -Rumi </FONT c>
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[Mr. Snrub]

Well, while fucking is fun, you're missing my true vocation: Riding around in tanks fucking shit up.

Minister for Going A-Viking?

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[Mudflap]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Lady Sianna:
<FONT COLOR="purple">minister of...</FONT c>




[/quote]

<FONT COLOR="Orange">Wind Deities</FONT c>

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Let's do this thing! (http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/Forum1/HTML/002257.html)

[creepingdeath]

Creepingdeath = Dictator for life. Please go quietly to the reeducation camps. They have candy.

[Mudflap]

<FONT COLOR="Orange">Do we get to play Calvin Ball at said camps?</FONT c>

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Let's do this thing! (http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/Forum1/HTML/002257.html)

[Billyman]

Minister of Defense? Yeah I can handle that. I don't give a shit what it is, I'll defend it if I must. I don't care what it takes, fuck with it, and your ass is mine!!!

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"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."

- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
<IMG SRC="http://billyman24.homestead.com/files/yingyang.gif" border=0>

[TotalAnarchy]

Unless of course you go to my 'rehabilitation camps', Billyman. I just got the job of both Himmler and Goebells, or Beria and, well, Stalin didn't really have a propoganda machine head, but it was more under the control of Sergy Eisenstein than anyone else. Feh. I own you all. Be careful whom you talk to. You don't know who works for me....................


Man, I need the Minister for Eloquence to clear this shit up, make it all neat and such. Lady Sianna, can you help? I need this polished up..............
/me looks at banks of monitors, watching people go about their lives...........

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<IMG SRC="http://a9.cpimg.com/image/63/E2/5744739-4aac-01DD006C-.jpg" border=0>
"who are these? Why sit they in twilight?
Wherefore rock they, purgatorial shadows,
Drooping tongues from jaws that slob their relish,
Baring teeth that leer like skulls' teeth wicked?
Stroke on stroke of pain, -but what slow panic
Gouged these chasms round their fretted sockets?
Ever from their hair and through their hands' palms
Misery swelters. Surely we have perished
Sleeping, and walk in hell; but who these hellish?"

[Skeet]

Am not!!!111

[Pianomahnn]

I hate you all.

[disturbed]

I nominate Pmahnn for Minister of Recreation

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Victims.. Aren't we all?

<IMG SRC="http://www.disturbedmonkey.net/sig.jpg" border=0>

[Back Tick]

hrmn, i wonder what position'd fit me.

Minister of not contributing a damned thing?

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Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the Universe.

[Pianomahnn]

At least SOMEONE here loves me. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

Thanks D. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/tongue.gif

[Asmodeus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by RogueWarrior:
ADDENDUM:

Mr. Prostitute is always female. Disturbed is a friend of mine, and I am fairly certain that he is male, though it never occurred to me to verify that.

FunkaY would cerve rather admirably as Mr. Prostitute, but I doubt she'd take very kindly to that position.

No female Mr. Prostitute, and I don't bless this endeavor.

[/quote]

Yer being a sour puss, you do know that, don't ya?

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[Koliedrus]

Reverend or not, don't ask me to bless it. I'm still trying to decide between a Drive-Thru confessional and hiding in the bushes and yelling:

<FONT size="5">I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE!</FONT s>

and running away, giggling maniacally.

(on a sidenote, look up gymnomania. Nyuk http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif )

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May fortune favor the foolish.

[Asmodeus]

Well, gymnomania ain't in my dictionary. But, if I would hazard a guess, it has something to do with naked.

Interesing Kol, you go from religious-pronouncing husband and wife- to having a naked complex-gymnomania- all the while running around maniacally. All in the same breath. No wonder I like you.

WTF??

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[Koliedrus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Asmodeus:
Well, gymnomania ain't in my dictionary. But, if I would hazard a guess, it has something to do with naked.

Interesing Kol, you go from religious-pronouncing husband and wife- to having a naked complex-gymnomania- all the while running around maniacally. All in the same breath. No wonder I like you.

WTF??

[/quote]
In fact, I had to look up the spelling of "maniacally" and came across "gymnomania" which reminded me of your recent experiences.

-mania combining form An exaggerated interest in or craving for:...

gymnomania (nakedness)

Dude, I was in highschool once upon a time. Co-ed volleyball damaged my sports career.

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May fortune favor the foolish.

Edit: Picture the volleyball bouncing off my head while I stare with my mouth open and eyes half closed and you'll get the idea.

[This message has been edited by Koliedrus (edited 10-11-2001).]

[MAC]

As High Priest I decree that it is the will of the donut god that you all build me a fine brothel...er...temple so that I may properly worship and serve the fiersome crunchy donut god.

Now all of you bring me riblets and beer to insure your place in the afterlife.

I'm going to need some zealots...they will, of course, be issued AK-47s of the russian persuaion.

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Don't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

<IMG SRC="http://www.tyler.net/roguewarrior/images/macsnake.jpg" border=0>

[TotalAnarchy]

Of course, due to issues of state security, these AK-47's will be of the plastic toy variety http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif We cant go letting the plebs having guns now, can we...................

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<IMG SRC="http://a9.cpimg.com/image/63/E2/5744739-4aac-01DD006C-.jpg" border=0>
"who are these? Why sit they in twilight?
Wherefore rock they, purgatorial shadows,
Drooping tongues from jaws that slob their relish,
Baring teeth that leer like skulls' teeth wicked?
Stroke on stroke of pain, -but what slow panic
Gouged these chasms round their fretted sockets?
Ever from their hair and through their hands' palms
Misery swelters. Surely we have perished
Sleeping, and walk in hell; but who these hellish?"

[Koliedrus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by TotalAnarchy:
Of course, due to issues of state security, these AK-47's will be of the plastic toy variety http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif We cant go letting the plebs having guns now, can we...................

[/quote]

Put some laser sights on those toy AK's and we have a deal.

Of course, I reserve the right to increase the output of said lasers upon individual request. Can't let the space in those empty containers go to waste.

I may even install a sound generator since the screams of a target being vaporized might be a bit put-offish for some. Hearing a fart each time one pulls the trigger might be psychologically beneficial. Spike Jones noises are also an option.



------------------
May fortune favor the foolish.

[TotalAnarchy]

well, how about, instaid of going to all that trouble, we just liquidate some people. Because those outside the Ministry for Security and Propoganda will be liquidated for using such weapons. In fact, for even suggesting such a breach of procedure, you are on our list now. We are watching you.

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<IMG SRC="http://a9.cpimg.com/image/63/E2/5744739-4aac-01DD006C-.jpg" border=0>
"who are these? Why sit they in twilight?
Wherefore rock they, purgatorial shadows,
Drooping tongues from jaws that slob their relish,
Baring teeth that leer like skulls' teeth wicked?
Stroke on stroke of pain, -but what slow panic
Gouged these chasms round their fretted sockets?
Ever from their hair and through their hands' palms
Misery swelters. Surely we have perished
Sleeping, and walk in hell; but who these hellish?"

[Koliedrus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by TotalAnarchy:
...liquidate...

[/quote]
BONUS! Molecular acid resevoir!

I'll get to work on the design.

Er, something TA said made me think of internal conflict but I'm too busy bother with politics.


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May fortune favor the foolish.

[Asmodeus]

Ok. Let's put it to a vote. Who among you thinks FunkaY would make a good Mr. Prostitute?

hmmm, this first: FunkaY, care to be nominated Mr. Prostitute? The pay is not real good but the fringe benefits...

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[PB]

Minister of Sexuality....

hmmmmm... and what exactly is my job here?

I have an idea.. but am very interested to hear it from a few particular people...

Come on.... it'll be fun... entertain me here!

PB

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It is a hell you will never understand until you stand amongst the damned and feel the flames! --
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[rage]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Psychotic _ Bitch:
Minister of Sexuality....

hmmmmm... and what exactly is my job here?

I have an idea.. but am very interested to hear it from a few particular people...

Come on.... it'll be fun... entertain me here!

PB

[/quote]
why, your job is to entertain me!!!!!

http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif



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<IMG SRC="http://www.tyler.net/llundberg/sig.jpg" border=0>
"Snoogy Boogies"

[Asmodeus]

All hail the high and mighty, the savior, the flatulant, the donut chewing MAC!!! *applause and cheering* now shaddap.

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by theMAC:
As High Priest I decree that it is the will of the donut god that you all build me a fine brothel...er...temple so that I may properly worship and serve the fiersome crunchy donut god.
Now all of you bring me riblets and beer to insure your place in the afterlife...
[/quote]

Well, your brothel, err... temple has allready been built. You have to go to Nevada though; it's called Cadillac Ranch. It is a two story complex with gardens, grounds, pavillion, 6 bars and informal dining areas, 23 bedrooms, 3 formal dining areas, with valet parking, hot tubs in every suite/room, and a completely faithful and attentive staff of security and servants. It is completely stocked of every kind of donut and flavored coffee imagined(the police are our best customers http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif), as well as a full stocked cooler of beer and riblets. Your priestesses come with optional clothing. The security force are some of the best trained mob leg breakers and under direct supervision of the Ministries of Ideology and Defense.

You are the High Priest after all. When should I make arrangments for your stay?

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[TotalAnarchy]

I think TheMac will be there as soon as we work out who we are not going to liquidate in the end. Its a much shorter list this way.................

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<IMG SRC="http://a9.cpimg.com/image/63/E2/5744739-4aac-01DD006C-.jpg" border=0>
"who are these? Why sit they in twilight?
Wherefore rock they, purgatorial shadows,
Drooping tongues from jaws that slob their relish,
Baring teeth that leer like skulls' teeth wicked?
Stroke on stroke of pain, -but what slow panic
Gouged these chasms round their fretted sockets?
Ever from their hair and through their hands' palms
Misery swelters. Surely we have perished
Sleeping, and walk in hell; but who these hellish?"

[mute]

Minister of the Imagination?

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[Mr. Snrub]

I want to be Ministar of Arbitrary Unpleasantness. My job will be to go to people's houses at random, eat all their food, kill their dog, tell the wife she is fat and screw the daughter, depending on attractiveness. I get to tell very nasty jokes on Sesame Street and put disgusting subliminal messages in Teletubbies broadcasts.

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[mute]

hahah http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

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[gone~away]

bleeding heart liberal type http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

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dog eat dog.. every day.. on our fellow man we prey

[Asmodeus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Snrub:
I want to be Ministar of Arbitrary Unpleasantness. My job will be to go to people's houses at random, eat all their food, kill their dog, tell the wife she is fat and screw the daughter, depending on attractiveness. I get to tell very nasty jokes on Sesame Street and put disgusting subliminal messages in Teletubbies broadcasts.
[/quote]

Well, the Ministry of Procreation has some very broad and encompassing statutes. You are the Minister of Sex per se. Your job will be to go to peoples house to make sure they are doing things right.

Your job will also be to properly instruct daughters in the finer points of the Ministry.

Eating all their food, killing their dogs and unwanted male offspring etc., is strictly optional. They are allowed under clause 146 sub clause B in the statue of limitations of the Ministry if Procreation's charter.

You really should read it before trying to make special circumstances and addendums. What you desire may be part of the charter.


Sorry Mute, the Ministry of Imagination is under the charter of the Ministry of Education. That post is taken. But, I will see what positions are open for you and your unique strengths.

The position of Minister of Dogma is currently open.

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[rage]

oh oh!!! gimme the minister of DOGMA!!!

plz?!?!?!

http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

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<IMG SRC="http://www.tyler.net/llundberg/sig.jpg" border=0>
"Snoogy Boogies"

[Asmodeus]

Rage is hereby nominated Minister of Dogma by default. Complaints should be forwarded posthumously to the nearest garbage disposal unit cause we in the fellowship of Ministries have better things to do than read complaints.

Rage is hereby entitled all the honor, merit and responsibility the Minister of Dogma as allowed by law- so no virgins for you. Snrub, being Minister of Procreation(sex education for female virgins) and MAC, being High Priest- can do just about anything he wants including the virgins Snrub misses, get all the virgins. The rest of us, unfortunately, get sloppy seconds.

Hey, blame it on the system.

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[Mudflap]

<FONT COLOR="Orange">Sloppy seconds doesn't sound that bad after months of not gettin' any. Just flush that mutha out with a garden hose and then jump on. Sounds good to me.

Give me women if you want to continue to eat.</FONT c>

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Let's do this thing! (http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/Forum1/HTML/002257.html)

[Asmodeus]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by gone~away:
bleeding heart liberal type http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif
[/quote]

Here ye, here ye!! Let it be known that gone~away is hereby nominated the ensteemed and lofty post of Minister of Bleeding Heart, Liberal Types. He is now entitled to any and all honors and titles that come with the position.

*end press conference*

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If it weren't for my ass, I would be stupid.

[mute]

you'll have to explain what Dogman means http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

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