I will be ----> [Archive] - The Hypertribe

gone~away

01-21-2001, 12:28 PM

.... from toronto that is.

Where to begin? Perhaps on wednesday/thursday morning around 3 am when my mother burst in screaming with little/no regard for my ten year old brother's sleep

It seemed that i was being kicked out of my home. Evicted as of march first, charges of 'not doing enough chores' and 'being addicted to the computer' mixed with allegations of 'selfishness and disregard for others' and compounded all by 'a complete lack of respect for me as your mother' was the basis for this (sudden and out of the blue?) punishment.

After taking her abuse with extreme control and tolerance i lost it and fought back, some things were said that can't be unsaid and though we are 'cool' now (me and my mother) i am still leaving... but i jump ahead.

During this attack from my mother.. one thing and one thing only crosses my mind... 'OMfuckingG... i'm supposed to go and see ******* during my march break..'

Perhaps i should inform people as to my current situation (before this all happened): I am eighteen, living in toronto, ontario with my mother and ten year old brother. I am in high school and though i am blessed with more than my fair share of intelligence (im told) i lack drive and discipline and as such do not do well in school after skipping the eighth grade. I limp through school without a computer and finally at christmas of 1999 my mother SCRIMPS and SAVES and WORKS and buys me this computer. (we, as a family are on gov't asst. because both of our fathers have left... i would appreciate you withholding judgement on this... as i am embarrassed and ashamed but also understand my mothers inability to work with two sons and a rather eccentric nature). the computer quickly becomes my best friend and my outlet... i am addicted. i use the computer for very little school and simply join forums/chat all the time.. neglecting all other duties. around february of last year my mother tells me i must move out by june.. this order is rescinded later... and now we are at this...

i am going this time.. i will not beg to stay... and i have a place to go... after laying awake all of the remainder of wednesday night i go to school thursday and get a three day suspension (my first) for truancy.. i go home, sleep and go to work... (i worked forty five hours in the last six days... from monday to saturday) i come home and call ***** as per usual, and after relaying the situation to her, which takes some time, she gives the jist of it to her mother, with no other expectation than some extra phone time with me that night.... instead, her mother invites me to come to bc and live with them... it seems in the eight months i've known ***** i have garnered her mother's respect as a male by not hurting her nor disrespecting her... and last weekend, when i met her and she injured herself, pulling from her competition... my concern (genuine) put me over the top in the respect category... now i am trustworthy.

so now i have been invited to move to bc.. to live with the woman i love, and leave the shithole that is toronto.... i am happy.

i have accepted, all in the course of a two days and will likely travel there in six-seven weeks... too long in my opinion.

all of this is happy for me.. i am hyper, and disbelieving that it will happen.. it is too good, but with the good must come the bad..

in order to move there i must transfer school systems.. likely not an easy feat. ALSO, i attend a non-semestered school in which i have eight courses for the entire year instead of four for half... this system does not exist in BC... and i will be arriving a month into a semester there..

i am also going to a strange place with very little support and only one friend.. who i happen to be romantically inclined towards (reciprocal)...

i am worried, despite ***** mother's promises that they will not be petty should things not work out between us, that if i dont measure up as a boyfriend i will be cast out, with nothing... also i am worried that my impact on their lives will not be as pleasant as they think....

i am sad i have to leave my friends, and my home of eighteen years... i am sad i cannot bring along my cat (demon kitty http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif) right away.. and perhaps not for several months if at all... and i am scared that finishing school may prove difficult..

but mostly i am happy... for a long time i have been unhappy with my circumstances, i have been unhappy with the way i live, where i live and why i live.. i have been lonely and pining for ***** and i have been overall frustrated at the lack of understanding provided to me in my house...

i take much blame for my eviction, dont get me wrong.

i have been given a fresh start.. a chance to take little possesions with me (of which this computer will be one, you all will not be free of me http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif) and simply opt for happiness, in a new setting, with someone who i love more than anyone, ever. ( i am aware i am young.. this argument will not sway me however)

the point of all of this is such...

have you been given a fair shake in life, have you been given a second chance??? (it seems that a fair shake at a FORUM is hard sometimes http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/rolleyes.gif let alone in life)

do you require one?? can you say you are happy or even content with your life?? and can you see the mistakes you may have made in an attempt to fix them??

i am elated... excuse anything offensive in this post.. but i am curious about you all..

thank you

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Tryn

01-21-2001, 12:36 PM

That's quite a story. Harsh but happy. Good luck. Whereabouts in BC are you going to be living. I live in BC too.

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..suck my white ass ball...

Mr. Snrub

01-21-2001, 12:38 PM

You have been given hope in the form of a fresh start, kid. Don't mess it up.

You might even get laid http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

I have been given a damn fair shake at life. I have always been given a safety net thanks to my parents and my government - i know i can afford to fuck up, which gives me confidence and security to try for the best. But I also know i must work in order to succeed. And i do work damn hard. But i never lose sight of the main goal - happiness, pure and simple.

I seem to have achieved it. Sure, bad things occasionally happen, but i deal with them and move on. I have a girlfriend who puts a smile on my face whenever i see her, i have a whole bunch of good friends, and i have the good fortune to be exceptionally bright and apparenty good looking. I know if i put my mind to something i will achieve it in the end. In short, since i know i have the ability to succeed, minor setbacks are meaningless to me.

Mistakes... mistakes... yeah, a couple, i've misjudged some people and made a few errors, but nothing i couldn't correct and nothing in the past couple of years.

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gone~away

01-21-2001, 12:43 PM

gonna be in victoria...

and i just might finally get laid too... LOL

http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

thank you for your response Snrub http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

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SisterTaffy

01-21-2001, 01:04 PM

I've no doubt that you will do fine no matter where you end up. You appear to have a good heart and a strong desire to succeed. For your young years you've been dealt a lot of things that most 30 year olds I know couldn't deal with so graciously.

Best wishes on your move and keep that determination of yours. It will take you far.

Yes, but get your ass to church no matter where you go.

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I am the Foremost Authority On All Things Biblical (http://www.sistertaffy.com) . Just ask Jesus, He'lll tell you.

Mr. Snrub

01-21-2001, 01:17 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by SisterTaffy:
Yes, but get your ass to church no matter where you go.

[/quote]

And twice on Sundays!

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MuffyTheVampyreLayer

01-21-2001, 01:22 PM

Firstly, all the best GA, you deserve it.

In answer to your question, I am very happy with my life, I am doing everything I want to do career wise and have a wonderful son that brings me worlds of happiness every day.

Some people think that I have had a rough deal with my mothers death when I was 11 (suicide) and my father kicking me out shortly afterward. But I think I learnt from the experience, and would like to think that it has made me a better person.

The one area I think I have been given a rough time in, is being a solo mum, especially a young one. A lot of people hold that against me, supposedly it defines my character in some way. I have even had people tell the guy I see casually that he should stay away from me because of it.

But, they are toe jam, and not worth my concern. It saddens me that people can be so narrow minded though.

I think the best thing anyone can do for themself is have a positive attitude. Too many people today walk around with a chip on their shoulder thinking that they have had too hard a life, and they deserve more because of it, regardless of how much effort they are willing to put in to making their life better.

So long as you do the best you can with what you have, be it situation or your personal gifts (talent, intellect), you should do well. And if you don't let yourself or others limit your dreams, then the world is what you make it.

So yeah, I think I have had a fair shake, but then I call the shots in my life.

JoeyCat

01-21-2001, 04:34 PM

gone-away, I'm happy you'll be moving to a place where you can be appreciated and (hopefully) happier. On a side note, about getting laid, there's a little saying I'd like to pass along to you...

"Don't shit where you eat"

meaning, don't let sex jeopardize your relationship with the Mom. Ok, I'm done now http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

Dog Breath

01-21-2001, 05:03 PM

Hi GA.

As an adult who has a live in nephew (step). I can say you are doing the right thing. It may give you pause to leave your brother alone there but your absence will ease tensions in the home. Your mother is ready for you to move on. Be happy she isn't clinging. She has mixed feelings in that regard. She knows you will do fine on your own. She hopes it will give her some relief (it probably wont). She will miss you and it sounds like she already does. That isn't enough to be worth keeping you there (it never is).
Your GF's mother knows what she is getting into. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Don't treat her like a land lord. She will be your teacher and will be a great help in your life. If she is willing to take you in return the favor and talk to her one on one when your GF is away. Get to know her and imitate her benevolence.
Be prepared for the change to come with your GF. The close contact and lack of space in the relationship will change it. She also knows she is in charge of the situation. That can't help but effect the situation. Like someone who has a big brother to back them up she will know in the back of her mind that she has the advantage. Get a job right away and rent the garage or get a crappy apt near by.

I moved out of my home when I was 17 and stayed with an older couple whom I was doing handy man work for among others. You can learn a great deal about the person you should be from those who befriend you at their own expense.

Good luck. The next year of your life will be the most important!

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Woof.
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Zombie

01-21-2001, 05:39 PM

I grew up basically without a father as well, not because he left but because the military would send him to foreign countries for a year or two at a time. He would come home for a while, then have to leave again. We ended up living in the boonies, with no other kids around except for the kids at a nearby 'religious retreat' which is a fancy name for 'cult.' I spent most of my formative years avoiding being bitten by snakes as I tramped around in the woods.

Whe I graduated high school I joined the military to escape. After my first marriage failed and I finished my tour, decided that camping in the snow was not for me and ended up back where I grew up. My job in the military was specialized enough so that I was overqualified for anything relating to what I was trained in. I ended up working manual labor, because it was the only thing I could find.

I worked this shit job for several years, because I was too stupid to better myself; I thought that it was enough to hold down a job, that I was being responsible and that this was my lot in life. I got married, and we lived paycheck to paycheck while I worked a job that I hated so much it ended up changing my personality to something that was less than pleasant to be around. I tried my hand at starting a business in 1992, which put us in bankruptcy due to the rampant technophobia that was prevalent in this region. My business was e-commerce. The only problem was that I tried to start it two years before "Internet" became a household word. After I had sunk like a rock, then EVERYBODY wanted to be online. Fucking pricks.

Finally at the age of 31 I quit my job and enrolled in college. I had only thought that I was poor before; my family scratched for grocery money and fended off creditors while I worked two part-time jobs and took full loads of classes. By the time I graduated I was physically and emotionally exhausted, I had lost 40 pounds, but by God I had a degree with honors.

These days I have a pretty good paying job that I like, a wonderful marriage, two beautiful daughters and a new outlook on life.

My message is this, don't give up, don't settle, and remember one important thing: your mistakes and hard times make you who you are. They are beneficial if you learn from them, endure to achieve your goals, and reach for something better. It may take time, years even, but it is worth it in the end. I would not give up all of the miserable times in my life, because they have made me a better husband, father, and human being. There really is truth in the adage "What does not kill you makes you stronger."

I wish you luck, my friend. Hang in there.

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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face. - Jack Handy

estero

01-21-2001, 05:46 PM

I hope it works out GA, but if it doesn't you can come live with me in the shit hole of Toronto. All you have to do in return is cook, clean , do my laundry, go to my classes and take notes for me while I sleep in peace and iron my clothes http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

Really though, good luck.

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ü§îñg |³³t§þËåk ÐöË§ ñöt måkË ¥öü å Hå×0®!

[This message has been edited by Kaye (edited 01-21-2001).]

Dog Breath

01-21-2001, 05:50 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Kaye:
I hope it works out GA, but if it doesn't you can come live with me in the shit hole of Toronto. All you have to do in return is cook, clean , do my laundry, go to my classes and take notes for me while I sleep in peace and iron my clothes http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

Really though, good luck.

[/quote]

Oh FUCK! forget what I said GA!!!!! Go stay with Kaye! She even irons!

Hey Kaye is that an open invite?

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Woof.
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estero

01-21-2001, 05:54 PM

I do nothing of the sort. That is what he will have to do to pull his weight.

HAHA me cook.... thats funny.

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Princess_Heather

01-21-2001, 06:37 PM

I'd comment with my opinion, but we've already discussed this over ICQ and it would just be redundant for you to hear it again. I just thought of something though and I'm excited... you'll be closer to The Emeral City and maybe you and ***** will be able join me, Joe and the ski group when whe hit Whistler. We'll be docking in Victoria over the summer on the way up to desolation sound too...

Blah how I babble.

Anyway... the reason I even responded, was to tell you that I REALLY think you should consider writing/journalism... you're quite good at it. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

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................ Red on the Head... Fire in the Hole.
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JoeyCat

01-21-2001, 07:36 PM

Mudflap

01-21-2001, 08:21 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by RogueWarrior:
Welcome to JoeyCat! *big hugs*

You honor us by coming here. Thank you. We can all learn a thing or two from the MommaCat's wisdom.

And ya ain't THAT old! http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

[/quote]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by JoeyCat:
hehe, good save Rogue http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

Thanks for the warm welcome, it is appreciated.

[/quote]

JoeyCat is my mom. 

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If you build it, they will come.

[This message has been edited by Mudflap (edited 01-21-2001).]

Mudflap

01-21-2001, 08:21 PM

Edit: a double posting fool is me.

G/A, good luck to ya. I won't spout any wisdom at ya because you've got plenty in the above posts. You'll do fine, I'm sure. 

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If you build it, they will come.

[This message has been edited by Mudflap (edited 01-21-2001).]

JoeyCat

01-21-2001, 08:42 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Mudflap:

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by RogueWarrior:
Welcome to JoeyCat! *big hugs*

You honor us by coming here. Thank you. We can all learn a thing or two from the MommaCat's wisdom.

And ya ain't THAT old! http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

[/quote]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by JoeyCat:
hehe, good save Rogue http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

Thanks for the warm welcome, it is appreciated.

[/quote]

JoeyCat is my mom. 

[/quote]
*snicker*

zoey

01-21-2001, 09:22 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Princess_Heather:
I'd comment with my opinion, but we've already discussed this over ICQ and it would just be redundant for you to hear it again. I just thought of something though and I'm excited... you'll be closer to The Emeral City and maybe you and ***** will be able join me, Joe and the ski group when whe hit Whistler. We'll be docking in Victoria over the summer on the way up to desolation sound too...

[/quote]
Whistler?? i have a friend who just drove up to whistler yesterday. He goes there all the time, he used to work there too. He owns a paintball park in Burnaby i think...

And G_A all the best luck to you. i hope everything turns out well. You deserve for it to. *hugs*

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I loved you, we could have been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you DREAM (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/wishlist/2V8Q3IB8F9B0X/ref=wl_em_to/107-2865667-5707752?add-fav=1) about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM (http://mangled.org) about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't BREATHE (http://engine09.com) without me

[This message has been edited by zoey (edited 01-21-2001).]

Princess_Heather

01-21-2001, 09:26 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by zoey:

Whistler?? i have a friend who just drove up to whistler yesterday. He goes there all the time, he used to work there too. He owns a paintball park in Burnaby i think...

[/quote]

Yah - we try to get up there once a month while its open... Too much shit happened at the beginning of the season though so next weekend will only be our second since November. I love it there... a little crowded but you get used to it I guess. I sure hope the snow doesn't suck like it has round here.

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................ Red on the Head... Fire in the Hole.
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zoey

01-21-2001, 09:28 PM

He wants me to visit Whistler one of these days, i'm quite tempted to. it sounds wicked.

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I loved you, we could have been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you DREAM (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/wishlist/2V8Q3IB8F9B0X/ref=wl_em_to/107-2865667-5707752?add-fav=1) about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM (http://mangled.org) about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't BREATHE (http://engine09.com) without me

King Bastard

01-21-2001, 09:47 PM

GA, this will all be stuff you've heard before, in the above posts, and no doubt from people you talk to day to day, but here goes.

There's a burden that comes with intelligence, And another that comes with having a good heart. I wont say sadly, but you are of us, given both these weights to bear. And you're doing a damn fine job of hefting that load.

Now, as far as how to act when the move becomes a reality, that's on you. none of us can know ALL the details, and I doubt we'd be that nosy as to ask. Just be yourself. If you are half the man (term used VERY appropriately) in the Real that you are on these forums, you will be fine.

OK, your answers to your questions....

I have had my fair share of fair shakes in life, and the counterparts of them as well. That's not the thing though. Thing is, hindsight will always be far more clear a way of looking at life than looking forward at it. It's near pointless to over analyze your past fumbles. It just gets in the way of future success.

Take this chance at a new start, and happiness, to run with it as far and hard as you can. Not too many will come along. And the ones that do are sometimes hidden to us. you've got the advantage of seeing this for what it is, a shot at happiness. May your aim be true.

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I'm a firm beliver in a ruling class, especially since I rule: Randall Graves-Clerks
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gone~away

01-21-2001, 10:27 PM

i would like to genuinely thank all of you for your kind words and advice

but more importantly for opening up a little.. i am curious by nature and appreciate your honesty in answering my questions http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

thank you once again... http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

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Mudflap

01-22-2001, 12:20 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by gone~away:
i would like to genuinely thank all of you for your kind words and advice

but more importantly for opening up a little.. i am curious by nature and appreciate your honesty in answering my questions http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

thank you once again... http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

[/quote]

Ha! I didn't open up nor did I answer your question. You won't get any personal details about ME you little hoser.

Well, maybe one: Today I discovered exactly how much I care about someone. It was quite a humbling, emotionally draining experience. 

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If you build it, they will come.

Mattdecay

01-22-2001, 03:41 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by gone~away:

have you been given a fair shake in life, have you been given a second chance??? (it seems that a fair shake at a FORUM is hard sometimes http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/rolleyes.gif let alone in life)

do you require one?? can you say you are happy or even content with your life?? and can you see the mistakes you may have made in an attempt to fix them??

i am elated... excuse anything offensive in this post.. but i am curious about you all..

thank you

[/quote]

I have a pretty similar story. When I was 18, (I'm 19) I was sick of living in a small city, sick of listening to my mother complaining about my lifestyle, (staying out all night, sleeping all day) and generally sick of the way my life was heading. At the same time, my girlfriend (of 2 years, 2 months, HEH) pissed her roommate enough to get her to move out, so she needed one. Perfect chance for me, so I packed up my shit and moved to the city. (Chicago) Life here on our own hasn't been too bad. We've been late with the rent a few times, and had a few arguements, but overall the only bad thing about living here is the $840 rent. (We live downtown) We'll be moving in less than a month up nawth. Things should be much better there, since the rent will be $200 less. But I ramble. Hopefully you'll do your best with school. Putting up with it isn't too tough. Just keep in mind that you're a guest, (Right?) and you need to pull your weight. And REMEMBER, her mom WILL hear you fucking through the wall! Believe me, it ruins the mood pretty quickly.

In closing...GOOD LUCK MAN!

p.s. Will you have access to a computer?
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You're just a copy of an imitation.

[This message has been edited by Mattdecay (edited 01-21-2001).]

Mr. Snrub

01-22-2001, 05:00 AM

Mudflap

01-22-2001, 01:11 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Princess_Heather:
Anyway... the reason I even responded, was to tell you that I REALLY think you should consider writing/journalism... you're quite good at it. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif

[/quote]
<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Snrub:

I don't think they allow smileys in newspapers.

[/quote]

G/A could be the ONE to change that. The revolution will not be televised! It will be printed. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

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If you build it, they will come.

gone~away

01-23-2001, 03:22 AM

VIVA SMILEY !!!

http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

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