what is it?

[Kayla]

Is it jealousy? Ok, let me explain a bit. My boyfriend BIll and I have been dating a year and 5 months. Bill has very little friend, he really likes to keep to himself. The few friends he has are very cool and i get along with them fabulously. Now heres the problem, tonight Bill called me and said he'll call me later tonight because he's going to hang out with Alan and Eric. This wouldnt be a problem for the great majority, but for some reason when he tells me hes going to hang out with other people, i feel really bad. Now, No, i dont expect him to see only me and live this sheltered life, and in fact i WANT him to have friends...but for some reason whenever he hangs out with them (probably once every few months) i get this jealous (maybe) feeling. Whats up with this? Is there any way you think i could change this? input please...don't be harsh, im really not in the mood for it tonight

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.e-a1.f2s.com/kayla.jpg" border=0>
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

[Faceplant]

growing up/time in my opinion will change it perhaps.

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://ftp.scbbs.com/files/importD5.gif" border=0>
Ass, gas, or grass...no free rides.

[Cruise Director]

Guys will always have to be guys. This will go on forever. I have a few friends that I hang out with all of the time. I also have a few friends that are married that only get together with us a few times a year. At first their wives didn't understand why we had to go stag, so we started having our get-togethers at one of the married couples houses. The women were excited that they finally got to see what the hell all of this male bonding shit was about. We played cards and rehashed old memories of stupid shit. The women were completely unfascinated and I'd say almost dissapointed. This went on a few times and now they tell us to go away and do our juvenile pissings elsewhere.

BUT: They took lessons from us and now get together and do girl shit once in awhile. ( We like to think they're somewhere stripped down to their bras and panties having tickle fights.)

It's healthy to be around your friends once in a while. If it bothers you that he leaves you, ask if you can go with. I guarantee that any threat you feel will be replaced by shear enjoyment of how stupid we as men are when we get together.

------------------
There was a moment of utter silence before Hell's door flew open.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Sounds to me like basic insecurity issues. Do you not trust him when he is out with his friends?

[This message has been edited by MuffyTheVampyreLayer (edited 06-04-2001).]

[rage]

sounds to me somewhat normal. It may be the fact that because he doesn't do this often, you aren't used to it, so you dont like it. Maybe you'll get used to it, maybe not. Either way, as long as you guys have been together, I would hope that you trust him. As long as you know you can trust him, I would say just shove the feeling down and ignore it. Find something to do, like coming in to THT chat and talkin it up w/ us, or going and hanging out with your friends, ect.

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.tyler.net/llundberg/sig.jpg" border=0>
" Three - legged Jeans.
Not as dumb as acid wash"

[Rabble Rouser]

I agree with what Muffy and Cruise are saying. You can't be around him 24/7...if you insist on it (though I'm not saying you are), you're going to doom your relationship. Like Muffy said, there has to be a reason why you don't like him going out with his friends. There's a reason you don't trust him, and you have to figure that out. Are you afraid he's talking about you to them? Are you afraid he's out looking at other girls? I can't answer that...it's something you should discuss with him.

But I think what Cruise said is the more likely of the two possibilities. Do you ever go out with your female friends without him? Same with him...boys will be boys, and they'll just want to hang out with each other. No harm done.

------------------
"Can't we have one meeting that ends without us digging up a corpse?" - Mayor Quimby

[Kayla]

Ok heres the latest, he called me about an hour after he "left" and said that when he went back to where he was supposed to meet them, they werent there, so he came home and worked out for a while. I could tell he was a bit dissapointed (altough his friends have done this to him numerous times) which made me feel a bit more open to the idea of him hanging with his friends. You dont know how it hurt me to hear they stood him up AGAIN..assholes. I cant deny though that i wasnt a bit relieved that he didnt go.

Ok to answer some of your questions. yes, i trust him 100% and this is most definately not about trust. I think its about me being lonely while hes away. And about me hanging out with girl friends, my best girlfriend cant have any friends right now, and my other best firned (a guy) is really busy with work and such. So maybe that explains it a bit, all of my other friends cant be with me, so i find myself having Bill as my only option.

well ill write more later as this story progresses. Thank you all for your input, it really is appreciated

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.e-a1.f2s.com/kayla.jpg" border=0>
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

[Koliedrus]

I also have little friend I like to keep to myself. I call him "Puking Cyclops", but don't tell anyone http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif

Really though, when you consider someone to be "yours", it's difficult to share that person with others. It's easy to feel like they're taking some of the attention that should be all yours and giving it to others.

Try not to let it bug you so much. Keep him healthy by allowing him his friendships. He'll reciprocate when it's your turn.

'nuff said for now.

------------------
Oyster-brain in a cookie jar.

[Dog Breath]

Try to look at the solitude another way.

Since it doesn't happen often use it as an opportunity to do something you don't get to do normally. Turn yourself into a prune in the bath, Dye your hair, walk around in a bath robe eating Twinkies with your hair fucked up, watch a chick flick and cry, go mini golfing (hey no one will know), get in touch with your inner man, hire a stripper, play with yourself and carve a notch in the headboard for every orgasm, shave...you know down there, buy 52 facial masks and do the whole bod, fill a squirt gun with perfume and blast the neighborhood cats.
Anyway have some "Me" time and you will look forward to his nights out.

------------------
Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
<IMG SRC="http://sites.netscape.net/mydogbreath/dogbre2.gif" border=0>

[Kayla]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Dog Breath:
Try to look at the solitude another way.

Since it doesn't happen often use it as an opportunity to do something you don't get to do normally. Turn yourself into a prune in the bath, Dye your hair, walk around in a bath robe eating Twinkies with your hair fucked up, watch a chick flick and cry, go mini golfing (hey no one will know), get in touch with your inner man, hire a stripper, play with yourself and carve a notch in the headboard for every orgasm, shave...you know down there, buy 52 facial masks and do the whole bod, fill a squirt gun with perfume and blast the neighborhood cats.
Anyway have some "Me" time and you will look forward to his nights out.

[/quote]
HAHAHAHAHAH!!! Thank you for making me laugh http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif oh yeah, i dont have a headboard http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/wink.gif



------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.e-a1.f2s.com/kayla.jpg" border=0>
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

[joanus]

<FONT COLOR="Pink">My thoughts on the issue is...</FONT c>I agree with most everyone's reply

[A.D.H.D]

<FONT face="Comic Sans MS">If you were good in bed, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. </FONT f>

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by A.D.H.D:
<FONT face="Comic Sans MS">If you were good in bed, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. </FONT f>[/quote]

Hahahahaha! You just made me snort coffee all over my puter. Damn, I hope blutack isn't water soluble http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

[Kayla]

for the people that took this thread seriously, we taked about this tonight and we kind of settled things, he told me i shouldnt worry much since he doesnt plan on hanging out with them anymore A.) because they ditched him and B.) theyre going to the army in two weeks or so...

ugh, i dont know, just thought i'd add that

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.e-a1.f2s.com/kayla.jpg" border=0>
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

[AcidzCraze]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Kayla610:
for the people that took this thread seriously, we taked about this tonight and we kind of settled things, he told me i shouldnt worry much since he doesnt plan on hanging out with them anymore A.) because they ditched him and B.) theyre going to the army in two weeks or so...

ugh, i dont know, just thought i'd add that

[/quote]

<FONT COLOR="blue">From what it sounds like, its not quite settled. Its settled until another time like this happens.

My advice to you, is to definatly go out and have some "me" time. Or go out with your friends. If you act upset or worried that he is out with his friends, it will just make him feel smothered, and the relationship is doomed to die.

Why does it bother you if you trust him completely? Maybe you know he won't cheat on you, but are you afriad that is will drop you for the next sexier girl that comes along?

You say you trust him, but I beg to differ. If you trusted him and his choice to be with you, you most likely wouldn't mind that he was spending time with his friends, because hey... they are just friends. Right? For some reason, it *does* bother you.

I don't believe that he is going to stop hanging out with them. I think that at one point, he will attempt to meet them again, while your left saying "but...but.. remember how they hurt you last time?" When you really mean "remember how I felt about it last time?"

If he does stop hanging out with them... then there are just going to be more friends that come along.

I think what your feeling is normal, and I wish the best for your situation. >=) </FONT c>

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.e-a1.f2s.com/ac.jpg" border=0>
"Reality is that which when you stop believing it, it doesn't go away" -Philip K. Dick

[Kayla]

I think i said this, Its not that i think he would leave me forsomeone else..i.ts just that while hes out with his friends, im just stuck at home doing nothing. Thats wy i dont like it. And i do hang out with my friends all day at school and once i go home i just dont feel like spending the rest of my afternoon with them.
He told me last night, he'd rather hang out with me then his friends. I apologized for acting the way i do when he goes to hanng out with his friends. he told me that any time he's with his friends he's wishing iw as there.

once again, just thought i'd add

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.e-a1.f2s.com/kayla.jpg" border=0>
So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

[This message has been edited by Kayla610 (edited 06-06-2001).]

[Dog Breath]

Buy a headboard.

------------------
Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
<IMG SRC="http://sites.netscape.net/mydogbreath/dogbre2.gif" border=0>

[PB]

<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Originally posted by Kayla610:
I think i said this, Its not that i think he would leave me forsomeone else..i.ts just that while hes out with his friends, im just stuck at home doing nothing. Thats wy i dont like it. And i do hang out with my friends all day at school and once i go home i just dont feel like spending the rest of my afternoon with them.
He told me last night, he'd rather hang out with me then his friends. I apologized for acting the way i do when he goes to hanng out with his friends. he told me that any time he's with his friends he's wishing iw as there.

once again, just thought i'd add

[/quote]

Although I don't really have alot of advice on this one, I can tell you the reason I don't is because I deal with something very similar on a regular basis except mine, his friend is a chick! a little more cause for concern there... I try not to get jealous.. but I do all the time, even though 90% of his time is spent with me, if not more!
Had a very long talk about a very similar subject with him, but it would take all day and I'm too tired to type all that shit out.. so for now.. it's off for a nap at my desk! Good luck.. from the Original Queen of Jealousy... Psychotic Bitch!



------------------
"Wisdom is when you learn to stop missing the things that are no longer there and appreciating the things that are. "
<IMG SRC="http://www.cox-internet.com/roguewarrior/images/bfairy.gif" border=0>

[Deadpool]

PB, its hard reading your post because I find myself staring at that bondage fairies pic.........


------------------
<IMG SRC="http://unix-shells.com/~robert26/Deadpool1.jpg" border=0>

Fuck you I wont do what you tell me. -RATM