Well.

[Escape Artist]

Place is three quarters dead. Sucks, but all good things must end.

I'm mildly bombed and kinda torn apart by a small concept I figured I'd post for posterity:

So much of our interaction as people is expressed in tiny little soundbites.

Ask for help at work -- in my case - "What do I need to know about this so I can just get it out of the way?" and get shit like "We don't know either!" or "Hey, we're all fucked together!" or you ultimately learn about 1/4 of what they actually know and discover later on that your migraine's kicked in, your knees are aflame, and all for a lack of comm-uneee-catioooon.

It's bullshit, and I challenge all of you to politely, intelligently change the status quo.

I've changed lives and days and all that arrogant shit by just saying what needed to be said - lot of it was crude before I learned to be nice - but it still worked.

Significant others - express your thoughts, instead of "It doesn't matter - I'll deal with it!"

Workers/co-workers/managers - tell yer under/overlings everything you know in a way that won't make them feel like you have a knife to their back.

Teachers - sucks to be yuo. Grow some balls, teach yourself off your curriculum, and if you can't understand your own material - neither can they.

Shit like that. Over and over and over I see this - and certainly I'm more guilty than many...but what the fuck happened to talking about what needed to be done and getting off your ass to do it?

My life's been ruined by this 3 or 4 times, I've seen people fired for this, geniuses forced out of schools, etc, til yer ready to puke.

What the fuck, man?

And that's all, this time around. Effective communication does wonders. Unfortunately, it's trial by fire. Do it anyway. Tired of lemmings, m'self.

[Mudflap]

Funny how you post about effective communication when your posts seem clipped, random, and muddled.

At least to me, they do.

That's not to be meant as insult, btw. Just my thoughts in response to yours.

[Billyman]

Commonly referred to as;

Drunk and disorderly.

[jules]

Today I met with a woman in the forestry department of my local university. In spring of 2006, I was one credit short of failing everything that I took there. I took a year off to find myself, figure out what I want to do with my life, insert here whatever favored trite expression to the same effect.

We talked about what I need to take next semester at the community college so that I can return to the uni next fall, and be in the (highly ranked nationally) forestry professional program by the next fall.

Anyways, when all was said and done and the next eighteen months of my life were carefully plotted onto the appropriate form, she commented on her impressions of me. "I knew I'd like you from moment we spoke on the phone last week," she said. "You speak precisely and purposefully. I knew I wasn't going to have to deal with another airy-head who needs me to hold her hand."

I told her, "I try to."

If I have learned anything in my life, it is that my value as a human being in human society is largely based on my ability to communicate honestly and effectively. Intelligence is worthless without the structure necessary to apply it. Friendships, relationships, jobs fail when one is unable to accurately judge how much to say, and how it needs to be said.

One must pick his battles, but not at his own expense.

With this principle in mind, I have spent the past 21 months in a fantastic relationship where arguments are rendered unnecessary. In changing not only one's speech, but one's mindset from "I'm angry with you for x!" to "You're doing x, and it makes me feel y, and I propose that we do z in order to resolve this for both of us", 90% of life's static is eliminated.

But what do I know? I'm only 19.

[Cruise Director]

If I have learned anything in my life, it is that my value as a human being in human society is largely based on my ability to communicate honestly and effectively with oneself. Intelligence is worthless without the structure necessary to apply it. Friendships, relationships, jobs fail when one is unable to accurately judge how much to say, and how it needs to be said.




Jules, I hope you will forgive my adding a few words to your thoughts. They are my thoughts, too, and I wanted to add those to help make another point that is quite similar, yet WORLD'S apart from your thoughts on communication.

I have found in my old age that the ability to communicate honestly, openly, and fequently with one's self, is crucial for any kind of communication outward.

We have all met people that seem to do well with those around them but are a train-wreck on the inside. Their charade can only last so long and eventually the walls come tumbling down. I really don't think it is possible to continue down a path (successfully) where you are not 100% honest with yourself. It sounds like you hit that wall at school and have climbed over it. Good for you.

Honesty. Communication. Realizing one's limitations. Overcoming those that you can. Life. Love. Happiness.

[jules]

No forgiveness is needed. My words aren't sacred.

And if I may, as a corollary of the idea of being honest with one's self, I have found it vitally necessary to recognize the self (as well as others) as being a dynamic entity. Our bases of knowledge and experience grow daily. In order to truly learn and advance as an individual, I must recognize that I, today, am not the person that I was, and that it is silly and sentimental to cling to ideas I previously held, in the face of opposing evidence and experience.

To this end, the only principle I permit myself to hold sacred is the principle that all beliefs and perceptions must be constantly re-evaluated to remain valid. The next step is truly internalizing the new ideas that arise; this is where I sometimes stumble. Anyone can derive lessons from mistakes, but it takes a special kind of person, of self-control, to live according to these lessons.

This is the kind of person I aspire to be. The only way to realize that aspiration is to do it. To become that person. And inaction is so much simpler than action, particularly when trying to change one's self.

The mind is malleable. This is my mind. I have control. I have the power to initiate change. So do you.

[Mudflap]

And if I may, as a corollary of the idea of being honest with one's self, I have found it vitally necessary to recognize the self (as well as others) as being a dynamic entity. Our bases of knowledge and experience grow daily. In order to truly learn and advance as an individual, I must recognize that I, today, am not the person that I was, and that it is silly and sentimental to cling to ideas I previously held, in the face of opposing evidence and experience.

To this end, the only principle I permit myself to hold sacred is the principle that all beliefs and perceptions must be constantly re-evaluated to remain valid. The next step is truly internalizing the new ideas that arise; this is where I sometimes stumble. Anyone can derive lessons from mistakes, but it takes a special kind of person, of self-control, to live according to these lessons.

This is the kind of person I aspire to be. The only way to realize that aspiration is to do it. To become that person. And inaction is so much simpler than action, particularly when trying to change one's self.



Hey! I was well into my 30's before I figured out that stuff (and I sure as hell couldn't have defined these lessons so articulately at any point) and you've got it down pat at age 19? No fair!