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Billyman
10-14-2005, 01:18 AM
I have some questions/concerns for you guys.

You are all well educated so your input is not only welcomed but much appreciated. I’m really trying to gain some insight.

Madison is 6 years old and in the first grade. She was reading almost comfortably at a 3rd grade level but they (the teacher(s)) keep upping the ante. They keep pushing her farther and farther……harder and harder and now pushing for a 4th grade level. She’s 6 and in the first grade. She is the only one in her class at the level she is at.

Jess and I had talked about this kind of thing last year when she was at the top of her class in kindergarten. We had talked about the “what if” they want to put her in the “gifted” class. Although the idea is flattering, and it’s coming to pass right before our very eyes, we had decided last year that we didn’t want her subjected to the added pressure and work load. We had ultimately decided that we would allow them to hold her at a high level but not so far and beyond that she felt ill effects of it.

All the students in her class takes home a book they must read each night and they are tested on the book the next day. All the kids also have spelling and math homework along with said book(s). Tonight, she brings home a book 164 pages long wrapped in 26 chapters. It’s not small print but it’s not big print either. It’s loaded with big words, hyphenated words (they haven’t even taught hyphenated words in her class yet), sentences and phrases an average 6th grader might be able to understand. She was told she only had to read ½ the book by tomorrow but by chapter five, she was just reading the words and not the book. Any interest in it was long gone and she was only doing it because she knew she was supposed to. Needless to say, by this point she wasn’t able to absorb anything she was reading. Remember, she’s 6 and in the 1st grade. By this time is almost 8:00 (her regular bedtime) and the poor thing had already broke down in tears because of the expectations from her teacher(s).

Would you talk to the teacher and say “whoa, not so fast, lets educate her before just cramming shit down her throat or winding her up like a toy to see what she’ll do”.

Or…

Would you let the teacher find her capabilities and what is within’ or beyond her reach and at what time to do what?

Granted talking to the teacher(s) is a must for me at this point. I just don’t want to hold Madison back if she has the potential and she is able. But at the same time I want her to get a good education but I’d also like her to enjoy being a kid. I think they’re pushing a little to hard right now, but there again they have to find the boundaries of young minds.

Hmm…..

Mudflap
10-14-2005, 01:34 AM
You don't need our advice. You've already thought this through very well.

Go talk to her teacher(s) and tell them what you just told us about her recent reading assignment. Help them recognize the problem so they can fix it.

On the off chance that her teacher(s) isn't responsive, talk to the principal.

Mae
10-14-2005, 01:39 AM
I hated being in the class that was "Teaching Down". It was boring. I never did my work because I felt like there was no point to it.

Madison is not feeling bored. Sounds like she's got some pressure on her and that's no good. For cryin' out loud, she's six! Figuring out if she's going to wear the blue pants or the red ones should be the biggest pressure in her life.

I'd have some choice words with the teacher, but then I'd ask- What are you doing to make learning fun for my child? How are you HELPING her to learn? (Winding her up and watching her go is not acceptable.)

Cruise Director
10-14-2005, 02:49 AM
You don't need our advice. You've already thought this through very well.

Go talk to her teacher(s) and tell them what you just told us about her recent reading assignment. Help them recognize the problem so they can fix it.

On the off chance that her teacher(s) isn't responsive, talk to the principal.

Yup. I'd only add that a guidance counselor might be good, too. If they have them in elementary school.

Koliedrus
10-14-2005, 10:55 PM
Depends on the school system I suppose but counselors are mandatory in ours.

Could be that the pressure teachers get from goals set before them make them anxious to produce a "Star Pupil" at the end of the school year. It's difficult to make such a broad assumption based on some comments during a conference last year regarding Holly. Her active imagination was brought into question and we acknowledged it. As an aside, we were told that it was time to take her mind out of fantasy-land and put her down here in reality-world with the rest of the sane people.

Opinions stated in posts above are correct. You have a concern and you have every right to contact the educators involved and voice those concerns. I'd suggest face-to-face for starters.

We have a "Contract" with Holly's teacher this year. She has our phone numbers and we have hers. She sends us daily progress reports via Holly's backpack and we act accordingly. If she needs help on a subject, that's what we do after school. If she aces everything, we get to dream up a reward that amplifies our pride in her.

She has her "days" (both good and bad) but don't we all?

I'm suggesting closer contact with Maddy's educators. Ask for a meeting with her teacher after you and Jess agree upon how her education should progress. Be willing to listen since the teachers see her in their environment and might just know a side of her that you don't see. In fact, if you (General "You") ever went to school yourself, I'm already sure that you know the difference between the "School You" and the "Home You".

While she's still in primary school, the only way to bridge the gap between the two is to stay in contact with the adults who spend time with her in your absence. Work with them but always have Maddy's best interest foremost in your decisions.

Love makes the decision-making process cloudy.

I hope this post isn't.

Billyman
10-15-2005, 03:43 AM
First of all, thanks for all the input.

As it stands, there was a massive misunderstanding. Jess and I pressed for details about the book and the requirements of the book in question and lots of other things surrounding school, expectations, and levels at the supper table last night. Poor Maddy was so wrapped up in the usual expectations of finishing the books she brings home that she left out a bunch of details that wasn’t said until this morning.

She got up this morning and immediately grabbed the book and began to read. Conversation started between her and her mother and what was found out was that the pressure Maddy felt, she practically put on herself. She is in fact the top reading student and on the highest level in her class. But, there weren’t any expectations from her teacher neither to finish the book nor to read even half of it…….in one night. Her teacher had told her to read as much as she could, that she wouldn’t be tested on it, and if she didn’t want to continue reading it, she could exchange it the following day.

At this point, Jess and I both agree that we should give her teacher a little more credit in knowing what she’s doing. I think this was one of Ms. Zacardi’s ways of finding limits and boundaries all while giving exposure.

I also think some of that pressure Maddy seemed to have put on herself was to please/impress her mother and me. Especially me I think. I don’t pressure her (I don’t think) but I do push, I do educate, I do make her correct mistakes and explain where the mistake is and what’s wrong with it. I do try to make all this as fun and easy going as possible. I never scold her for simple mistakes. Because of a lot of lessons, she thinks I’m the smartest thing to ever walk the earth (kids are naive ya know). :p

Our daughter is one smart cookie and her parents are damn proud.

Cruise Director
10-15-2005, 06:16 AM
I think you should send her to her room for worrying us. :D

Asmodeus
10-16-2005, 02:51 AM
Load her up and see where she breaks. Skool always annoyed me cause I always looked too stupid and jocklike to actually have any intelligence. So no gifted and telented for poor Asmo... I just had the fun of showing the gifted and talented folks how to do their homework.

You will find the stress threshold she has Billy... and if it can be crossed or the work needs to be lessened for a while. Judge wisely but with love. Never under-estimate yer kid's intelligence. They will all surprise you one day.

(Take that as you will from the guy who doesn't have any kids.)

Pianomahnn
10-16-2005, 05:43 AM
Jeebus, Billy. That is one funk-ass color you've chosen.