Crash justice

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

The other week I was cruising merrily along on my way to the beach, doing a nice safe 50kph, Tarryn in the passenger seat next to me, when some idiot moron assfukking goatraper pulled out and did a u-turn on a corner, without checking whether someone was coming the other way. There was only about 10m between his car and mine when I saw what he was doing, consequently there was not much I could do except slam on the anchors and drive straight into him.

Ow.

He scared the living shit out of Tarryn. Poor little fella was so upset he wet himself. Within 5 minutes there was 5 police cars, and ambulance and a fire-engine at the scene. Tarryn and I were both fine (mostly), so we didn't have to go to hospital. When I got Tarryn home he had a bad case of shock, was crying, wobbling around so much he fell in the garden, and generally very shaken up. I sat him down with a hot drink, wrapped him in a blanket, and made him watch video's for the rest of the afternoon.

He did $3675.00 in damage to my car. I've injured my TMJ (the hinge between your mandible and maxilla), need a tooth extracted and have whiplash. BUT THE BASTARD COULD HAVE KILLED MY SON!

He's getting a fine. That's it.

The whole thing happened in front of an off duty police officer. He admits full responsibility, and that he didn't look to see if anyone was coming.

He's only getting a fine!

The difference in traffic charges here means that because neither me or Tarryn was seriously hurt and he supposedly wasn't doing anything more stupid than the average stupid person does means that he's only getting charged with plain old careless driving.

What if I hadn't been puttering along taking my time....? Chances are I wouldn't be typing this right now. So, basically, because I was driving slower than the average person, have quick reflexes, and make damn sure I always wear my safety belt, this asshole gets a fine and is free to drive again.

Fuck that.

I know I should be grateful Tarryn and I are both Ok (which I am), but really - what's he going to learn from a slap on the wrist with a wet bus ticket?

[mute]

Isn't he gonna learn from the $3675.00 he's going to pay to fix your car? Or learn when his insurance rate goes up when his insurance company has to pay for it and his stupid driving habits?

I did something like that which was very stupid when I was in highschool, and I learnt from it. I, too, only got a fine and I did also lose points on my lisecence. Still had to pay for it all. I don't know how much different it is in NZ, but that's all the cops can really do, is give a fine. Lines have to be drawn in the motor-vehicle world, or else there would be chaos. I get your point totally of course, it was your son's life in danger and as a mother it surely has you outraged of the thought that some simple idiot mistake someone can make can put your son, and yourself too, at danger. I'm sure there are consequences this guy will have. It must contribute somehow to him losing his liscence. There's no way someone can pull a stunt like that and not lose some sort of merit. For instance if he gets caught speeding, he must lose some sort of 'credentials' on his liscence that will cause him lose it if he does it too many times.

But like I said, there's not much that can be done at this point. Except for fines, and I assume 'points' lost on his liscence. I hate to admit, but it would be unfair to throw him in jail, or something extreme like that. I would like to think they would make him take a defensive driving course, or something that teaches good safety for driving. If you have to pay for medical fees for injuries caused to you and your son by this guy, then I would surely take action and have this guy pay for it.

The word 'sue' comes across my mind, but I wouldn't pull the 'American Way' if it was just cause you want $$$. Only if it's for a good reason, like medical bills and automotive (and automotive cosmetic) repair.

[Skeet]

Make sure you take good fucking care of that. I know people with TMJ disorders who killed themselves after 5 years of constant, constant, constant pain.

I've injured my TMJ (the hinge between your mandible and maxilla),

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

I totally get what you are saying mute. It just seems hard to find a happy medium of what is fair - the options either seem too harsh or too light. As you know, we can't sue, I can go for reparation though (reasonable expenses incurred as a result), but I just hardly see how hitting him in his wallet is going to teach him a lesson (from the car he was driving I'd say he was reasonably financially secure). If Tarryn or I had been injured to any significant extent he'd be getting his licence suspended for 6 months, which to me seems better than a fine. You are entirely right in that it is because he could have hurt Tarryn that I feel the need for vindication, so perhaps I should just get over it. Easier said than done though.

Skeet - yeah thanks, it's an annoying pain and right in your face - but suicide?!? Seems a bit extreme. I'm getting TMJ therapy from a specialist and taking muscle relaxants - that should fix it.

[Billyman]

Dayum Muff.

Naturally I’m glad to see that things weren’t as bad as they could’ve been for you both.

The outcome of the fault wouldn’t have been much different here in the States either. The guy would have been slapped with a few tickets/charges that just led to additional or more fines but he’d still get off with just that.

The most important thing here is that you both can tell your grandchildren about it.

[Skeet]

Imagine not being able to think or sleep for 5 years because of the constant pain.

Skeet - yeah thanks, it's an annoying pain and right in your face - but suicide?!? Seems a bit extreme.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Fortunately I'm thinking and sleeping just fine. It was quite amusing the day after the crash though, when things were really sore. I had to do work related Psychometric testing (groan!) and was in lots of pain. I took a nice little cocktail of painkillers and muscle relaxants and ended up being quite shitfaced. I'm very interested to see my test results :) I vaguely remember looking at the test going "that makes no sense" giggle giggle. :eek:

[jules]

This spring, I fell asleep at the wheel with cruise set to 75mph. I'd been up and active for 18+ hrs on 4 hrs of sleep, knew I was very tired and had plenty of opportunities to pull over... yet I was still driving, and with cc set 10 over. It wasn't really a careless action, but more of a careless failure to act. I was very fortunate in many ways (very few other people on the road; large median; soft ground due to rain; soft things that I collided with) but had the situation been different, I could easily have killed myself and others. Since I basically just went off the road into bushes, no one else was involved, I wasn't injured badly and the car was damaged minimally, it wasn't even considered an "accident" for the sake of recordkeeping. We paid for the damage and it didn't get back to the insurance company. I didn't get fined or lose my license.

I almost felt as though there should have been worse repercussions for me. I was dumb, and put other people's lives in danger. The fact that nothing happened didn't seem relevant. I didn't sleep well for weeks thinking about how something so stupid as driving while tired could have affected my life and others' so drastically.

I dunno exactly where the relevance to this thread is.... except, I guess, you can't assume that something "unpunished" really goes unpunished...

[Mudflap]

I once drove too fast on a four lane during a heavy rainstorm. I spun out into the center median 540 degrees at approximately 65 mph. Traffic going both directions had STOPPED to witness what they were sure was to be a god awful wreck, but luckily, I didn't spin out into any other vehicles. I DID scream like a bitch during the whole spin. It seemed to last about 30 seconds before I came to a complete stop.

Now I drive 10 to 20 mph under the speed limit on wet roads.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

So the moral of the story is "you can't be too harsh on him because we're all crap drivers too"?

[Mae]

About a year ago I was struck (as a passanger) by a man running a red light. I was scratched and very sore and it messed up my face for a month or so. The poor man who ran the light was going so fast that he was carried far past the point of impact, almost to the next intersection. He was so scared, he ran back to us and made sure we both were ok- He was a doctor, (my driver had some broken bones) and called 911.

He was terrified. I know he will never talk on his phone and drive again. But I saw that he was sorry. Sounds like your guy wasn't.

Would you feel better if you got to have a mediation session with him? Maybe you could help him to understand how terrified and unsafe he caused your baby to feel.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Mediation no. Being allowed to beat him around the head with a bag of oranges for an hour or so, yes :). I think he probably is sorry, I just haven't been able to take out how I feel about it on anything. I dare say the job I have doesn't help - having to deal with other ppls accident related injuries all day just keeps fueling my need for vindication.

[Mudflap]

So the moral of the story is "you can't be too harsh on him because we're all crap drivers too"?

I wasn't trying to assign a moral to the story, but if you insist:

Shit happens.

[SimpleSimon]

I wasn't trying to assign a moral to the story, but if you insist:

Shit happens.

All too true.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Hmm... my physio told me today that I had a hyper mobile jaw with very smooth mouth action. I feel dirty, and kind of proud ;)

[Asmodeus]

Umm Muffy... I ain't touching that one. But I do leave the floor open for others.