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Billyman
05-17-2001, 04:35 PM
"Father," a lady says to her priest, "i have a problem. i've got two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing." "what do they say?" inquires the priest. "they say, 'hi, we're prostitutes. do you want to have some fun?"' "that's obscene!" the priest exclaims. "you know," he says after a moment of thought,"i may have a solution to your problem. i have two male talking parrots whom i have taught to pray and read the bible. bring your parrots over to the rectory and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying ...that phrase...in no time." "thank you," the women responed. "i can't tell you how happy this makes me."

the next day, she carries her female birds to the priest's house. as be ushers her in, she sees his two male parrots inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. impressed, she places her parrots in with them.

after a few minutes, the female parrots cry out in unison: "hi, we're prostitutes, do you want to have some fun?" there is stunned silence.

finally, one male parrot turns to the other. "put the beads away, Francis," he says, "our prayers have been answered!" http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/biggrin.gif

Dog Breath
05-17-2001, 05:24 PM
A lady goes into a hardware store and buys a hinge for her door. The clerk said "Do you want a screw for that hinge"? "No but I'll blow you for the toaster".

Parrot and hardware related:

A man is perusing the shelves at a local hardware store. A clerk asks if he can help the man. He responds "I need a file". The clerk asks which type half-round, round, single cut, etc... The customer said he didn't know what kind. The clerk said "tell me what you need one for and I will recommend one". "I have a parrot who bites and I want to trim his beak". The clerk is shocked "You cant remove the point of the bird's beak. They use it to pick up seeds". The customer visibly annoyed grabbed a general purpose file and checked out. Two weeks later the clerk sees the customer in a restaurant "How is your parrot"? "He's dead". "I told you he would starve you bastard"! "Hell, he was dead when I took his head out of the vice".

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Woof.
If it's so sick, why are you laughing?
<IMG SRC="http://sites.netscape.net/mydogbreath/dogbre2.gif" border=0>

Woo Hoo 600!

[This message has been edited by Dog Breath (edited 05-17-2001).]

Billyman
05-17-2001, 10:57 PM
nice one DOG!! im still smiling from it. http://www.thehypertribe.net/ubb/smile.gif