PDA

View Full Version : life learned.


Faceplant
01-17-2005, 07:54 PM
i was always told to learn by others mistakes, not your own. unfortunatley, i always had to learn from my own.

ive been feeling the need to share my life in light of recent events. so here it goes, the best i can, the reason why iam the way iam.


it all started in my early teens. i had a passion for driving fast cars, that werent mine. though i had grown up in a rather privilaged household, i always hated it, and wanted to be a 'bad ass' of sorts, so i did. after stealing cars until i was 18, i got caught. because the judge was kind of a friend of a friend, etc..etc.. i was given a choice; enlist in the army for a year, or go to jail for a year. now, this was real jail, i was an adult and had quite a lengthy wrap sheet on me already. so i gave it a lot of thought, and a year later i got out of jail...heh.. my only regret in life was going, and not joining the army, i would have been a different man if i did.

in jail i learned a lot of crazy shit. jail isnt what everyone makes it out to be. no one gets raped, no one dressees up like broads, no drugs, etc..etc.. it was hard though. i learned how to fight in jail. every day there is a fight in jail. it was mostly black and puerto ricans in there, so i joined up with the 'clan' people. we looked out for eachother, it was the best bet i could of made. i served my whole 12 month sentance because i got written up a lot for fighting and what not.

i was 19 when i got out, and the world seemed like a whole different place. not many 19 year olds had lived the life i lived and hadnt done a year in the joint already. therefore, i did not have many friends, and those i did were like family to me. after i year of really doing nothing except doing and dealing drugs, (coke), i turned 20 and begin to realize how easy it was to make money and started doing it in a large volume. of course that led to getting arrested. i had been arested twice in a year for drugs, and then i happen to knock someone out right in front of a cop...whoops.... 4 months later im out of jail again, and 21.

now im 21 and said FUCK THIS! i stopped doing drugs, droped all my bum friends and went solo. i somehow regained trust in my father and he set me up with a nice little used car lot, his first yard. i learned the used car business back and forth and found out it was real easy for me. i made a ton of cash on the legit, had any car i wanted, bought anything i wanted, and basically did anything i wanted.. it was great, i was 21 and set for life as far as i was concerned. i floated with this for two years.

now, i didnt mention that ive been into guns/gunsmithing my whole life, ever since i was a little kid. now 23, i started building guns for a hobby. hot my class 3 manufacturing license and started making dealer samples of machine guns and shooting them, on the legit. i then was offered a lot of cash to build live machine guns with no numbers, no questions asked. i thought about and said fuck it. i can build a tommy gun for under $500 and sell it for $5,000, id have to be stupid not to. well dozens of guns and 100's of thousands of dollars later, i found out it was stupid.

they wanted me to do 120 months! 10 years in a federal pen. i had my bag packed and ready to go, but my lawyer held it out for a long time. its still more less going on, but its just about over, with no jail time which is cool, because i just did four months for an assualt charge, i got out alomst 2 months ago. hopefully it will reamin status quo and i wont get any jail time, but i cant come near any gun of any sort for probably the rest of my life, and thats all i can say about that.

but now, i finally learn. 24 fucking years for my learn who i hurt, how i fucked myself over, and the money, talent, time, and smarts i wasted. im going to start living my way the right way, even though i dont know which way that is.... now im officially solo, im a lost soul.

and that my friends, in short, is the past 8 years of my life, a wasted life.

Pianomahnn
01-18-2005, 12:09 AM
It would only be a wasted life if you were already dead.

It's not over yet, and I hope you understand that.

MAC
01-18-2005, 04:16 AM
Odd how clearly we see the progress we should have made and not the progress we can make.

That is why doing things by yourself rarely works the way you want it and doing things with others never results in what you expected.

or some such shit

water under the bridge, my friend.....which, I think, means, quit staring downstream recalling what just floated by because no one else crossing the bridge now saw it.

[/koliedrian]

Barbie
01-18-2005, 02:46 PM
but now, i finally learn. 24 fucking years for my learn who i hurt, how i fucked myself over, and the money, talent, time, and smarts i wasted. im going to start living my way the right way, even though i dont know which way that is.... now im officially solo, im a lost soul.

and that my friends, in short, is the past 8 years of my life, a wasted life.

Sounds like you got alot more learning to go.

Asmodeus
01-19-2005, 01:26 AM
Tis not what you have learned, but what you unlearn so you can begin to start over.

Kudos Mr. Plant. A life hard won is infinitly better than a life lost easy.

Koliedrus
01-21-2005, 03:14 PM
Odd how clearly we see the progress we should have made and not the progress we can make.

That is why doing things by yourself rarely works the way you want it and doing things with others never results in what you expected.

or some such shit

water under the bridge, my friend.....which, I think, means, quit staring downstream recalling what just floated by because no one else crossing the bridge now saw it.

[/koliedrian]

... but if the water downstream is littered with corpses, pirana and swirling blood, it's best to retain the memory of the water as it is before it clears.

In other words, don't forget the pain that the last eight years has caused but don't dwell on it daily. Depending on optimal circumstances, 8 years is only 10% of your lifespan.

Some things will get you dead quicker. Some things will make you live faster.

You've seen your past float by and apparently want a clearer future. The memory of what's downstream will help you to keep the upstream water clear as it passes under your bridge.

[/koliedrian]

Faceplant
08-04-2007, 06:05 AM
hi.. hate to re uip an old old old topic, but i must, because i am me...

how ya ll been?

anyways, this is now 2 and a half years later and here i am.. I FIGURED IT OUT!!!! some time shortly after this post i ran into an old girlfriend of mine and it was love at first, er, second site for both of us.. coundlt be perfect timing.. we reconnected and re kinddled out lives... she couldnt believe all the bullshit i put myself and my father through, but she saw i wanted to chage, and she wanted to help me change, just like any woman out there does... haha....

anyways, i wound up doing 9 months on racketerring charges for the guns, racketerring meaning the ga-ngs. . of course i had the best lawyer in new haven county, good old frankie ant... doing his magic he made it all work... though iam now offically a convicted convict, something i will never lose and smoething that makes me strive to do better... after getting out of jail, my girl was there with me the whole time, no matter what, and as soon as i got out i married that buetiful heart filled woman who i have real true undying love for her... she was there waiting for me the whole time... 9 months after i got out i was gifted with a buetiful baby girl!!!! MY PRIDE MY JOY MY SEED!!!! i now understand what it is like to have something in your life that is the utmost important thing in your life... i had always thought it was money, respect and big balls that were important.. bullshit to that,that shit is for the birdss.... i settled myself down in a nice liqour store i bought and completely renovated it and turned it around... its a nice mom and pop shop, something i never want to lose and i know i never will... in the past year i have turned business up my more than 50 percent on average with a huge bottom line..

iam finaly a simple man.. i get it... these past decades were the best years of my life and also the worst years in my life.. i learned just as much as a lost.. and i dont think a lot of people can appreciate that...

thank you all for your care and concern for me, and that you for your kind,witty, and intellengence filled words for me.. i have a very long memory for this place.. though i dont come here often, this is the only place i come and being able to vent here means a lot... but its not only the venting that means anything... its the listening you folks give and the kind comments and quips you folks give...

im not saying this forum helped turn my life around, but, the words i have read here have defintley sat on my brain since theyve been said.

again,thank you, thank you all... iam now a simple man..


ps.

though it doesnt hurt to literally bury cash though ;) everone needs a cushion...

Asmodeus
08-04-2007, 01:52 PM
Welcome back to the land of freedom and corndogs. Congrats on the rugrat.

Cruise Director
08-05-2007, 05:50 AM
Hi Hunter.

Weird thing is, I actually logged on to the SPF last week after a two year hiatus and asked about you in some "newbie" thread. The answer I got from someone named Sun4 was that you were banned. Nothing new. :)

Glad to hear things are looking up for you. I wish you had been able to find some of these realities before marking up the ol' permanant record. None the less, you can always keep learning throughout life.

Congrats on the baby girl. Now you have to remember that your actions influence more than your own life. That knowledge is enough to keep most people straight. I also can't wait to see a picture of the little squirt.

Welcome back my friend. Welcome back.

Koliedrus
09-14-2007, 03:37 AM
I just smiled one that was reserved for a family member getting a diploma. Fuck! Now Ill have to make another one. Bastard.

mute
11-25-2007, 05:16 AM
Faceplant I was reading the first post thinking you posted it recently. ha

The only way I can really empathize is that I'm probably one of those guys you met along your life who wasn't a cocky fucknut like many people you have probably met, hung out with, dealt with, etc. Maybe I played a game of poker with you at a place where the guy knew both of us... whatever it is, I hope to God's fucking sakes you don't try and double up on your winnings here, for the third or fourth time (I lost count) on some no-names, no tags, bullshit of a deal. You're a good business man with a kid who, by the sounds of it, you actually love! I know too many people who have kids and shouldn't. When you said 'liquor store' that made my siren go off in my head. Sorry if that offends you but I've just heard similar stories to your own.

Cheers dude.