Cruise Director
01-16-2005, 02:30 AM
So I am as tired as you of spam in my e-mail box. But how are you holding up against the plethora of junk mail that hits the real mail box in front of your house? I'm getting a little tired of it and in my bored condition, have decided to fight back. The following is the letter that will be leaving my house Monday to fend off one attacker.
January 15, 2005
Mr. John Gledhill
Premier Realty
XXXXXXXXXXX
St. George, Utah 84790
Dear Mr Gledhill,
I just wanted to take a few moments of your time and thank you for your thoughtful, unsolicited mailings that have taken a few moments of my time. The most recent comes with a nice, red header letting me know that this is the “Second Request To Buy Your Home!” Perhaps, after no response from the first request, you should have realized that I am really not interested in this supposed buyer that has supposedly hired you to supposedly buy my home.
Being a bit of a cynic, I thought I should also add some small, constructive criticism on your direct mailings. First off, your letter, ( I almost hate to call junk-mail a letter ), states that “we” have found my address using a sophisticated computer program from the title company. If it is so sophisticated, why would it not have my correct address? The really sophisticated computers at the Post Office had to forward your correspondence to me. Also, who is “we?” The letter is from you, to me. I don’t see anybody else involved in the situation and it really hurts me that you would take the personal touch out of the letter by using the third person reference.
But speaking of we, the letter is addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Cruise Director. Unfortunately there is no Mrs. Director and I think those overly sophisticated computer programs that “we” used have fouled up again. Two errors in one day should encourage you to upgrade to the newer version of software. Perhaps that software might compute a possible selection for the role of Mrs. Director? Never hurts to ask.
In closing, I ask for a few, small favors from you. First would be to have a sense of humor about this and not bring those potential buyers to my house and throw eggs at it. Second would be to please remove me from your mailing list and that of the sophisticated computer at the title company. The third, by far the easiest, is to have a nice day.
Sincerely,
Cruise Director
I'm quite the riot.
January 15, 2005
Mr. John Gledhill
Premier Realty
XXXXXXXXXXX
St. George, Utah 84790
Dear Mr Gledhill,
I just wanted to take a few moments of your time and thank you for your thoughtful, unsolicited mailings that have taken a few moments of my time. The most recent comes with a nice, red header letting me know that this is the “Second Request To Buy Your Home!” Perhaps, after no response from the first request, you should have realized that I am really not interested in this supposed buyer that has supposedly hired you to supposedly buy my home.
Being a bit of a cynic, I thought I should also add some small, constructive criticism on your direct mailings. First off, your letter, ( I almost hate to call junk-mail a letter ), states that “we” have found my address using a sophisticated computer program from the title company. If it is so sophisticated, why would it not have my correct address? The really sophisticated computers at the Post Office had to forward your correspondence to me. Also, who is “we?” The letter is from you, to me. I don’t see anybody else involved in the situation and it really hurts me that you would take the personal touch out of the letter by using the third person reference.
But speaking of we, the letter is addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Cruise Director. Unfortunately there is no Mrs. Director and I think those overly sophisticated computer programs that “we” used have fouled up again. Two errors in one day should encourage you to upgrade to the newer version of software. Perhaps that software might compute a possible selection for the role of Mrs. Director? Never hurts to ask.
In closing, I ask for a few, small favors from you. First would be to have a sense of humor about this and not bring those potential buyers to my house and throw eggs at it. Second would be to please remove me from your mailing list and that of the sophisticated computer at the title company. The third, by far the easiest, is to have a nice day.
Sincerely,
Cruise Director
I'm quite the riot.