Love morphing into Hate

[skalie]

So it goes wrong, like really wrong, like really, really, really fucking wrong between Bloke and Sheila.

But before it all went wrong, etc., there were a couple of angels born.

How the fuck does Bloke try and do good again when Sheila is subtracting all good from the whole lot of bad Bloke did?

Bloke...."I brought you a stool"

Sheila....."Only one? Where's the other, you're always short changing me, selfish cunt"

(If it weren't for the angels, Bloke would be elsewhere)

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Talk to her skalie - tell her how you're feeling. See if the angels grandparents can have them over night and take your lady out and try to rekindle things. She's probably feeling upset too.

[skalie]

Way too late for that sentiment, Muffs, but thanks.

Was once said to me, "It doesn't matter what you do, it will always be wrong"

It's proving to be the case.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Do you still live together? If not, it's fairly easy to have an amicable relationship that only involves you interacting insofar as it's your turn with the kids. If you are still living together, how long do you think that's going to work for?

[skalie]

Do you still live together? If not, it's fairly easy to have an amicable relationship that only involves you interacting insofar as it's your turn with the kids.

One would have thought so.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Ok, so I take it you're in seperate dwellings. By fairly easy I mean that the hard part is over. You're not together, so at the end of the day you don't have to go to sleep hating the person you are lying next to (been there).
Is she running you down in front of the kids?

[skalie]

How would I know?

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Kids have an interesting habit of coming out with things like "my mummy said you're a bastard. What's a bastard?" :D

[MAC]

When I went through this I had to treat it as two separate issues:

1) What the kids need provided for them in a healthy fashion:
Home. Sleep. Food. School. Parents.

2) The personal issues between the bloke and the shelia
(I always pictured skalie as more of a nancy than a Sheila ;))

Now I don’t know this guy or this gal so I don’t know who’s handling it well and who’s handling it poorly. I don’t know if she’s really that bad and will always be so bitter or bitchy that she’ll hurt the kids to be mean to him. Or if he’s playing it up in his mind and she’ll move to a new place, get a job, find another guy and it’ll all be ok 6 months from now.

I can tell you from my own experience that I had an awful time (several months) pondering this very thing when my ex was leaving me. The more my pride hurt the more I realized how little my pain helped my child. The more I felt betrayed by her, the more it became clear to me that my opinion of her choices, regarding me, was less important than her choices from here on out. I was lucky though. I had chosen a good woman, regardless what she thought of me. But taking to her at first was impossible. I wanted to but either I was offensive because I was hurt or she was defensive because she was waiting for me to turn into a raging asshole. Eventually I got to tell her what I was worried about my daughter having and she echoed my thoughts. Just dealing with that let us both not worry about the other shit. However, this is how it will be from here on out for another 11 years.

Not much help, I know.

Luckily for us, kids always grow up to know which one of their parents are assholes.

Unfortunately for us, at least half of kids turn into worse assholes than their parents.

[skalie]

Having taken a night to think about it, my feelings are only of happiness that I don't have to see the unreasonable cunt more than twice a fortnight

[mute]

/me posts a skalie-like sacastic remark