It's once again, and probably forever, over.

[Pianomahnn]

I'm moving back home.

Dana decided to would be a good idea to go find love elsewhere. Whatever.

So, that's the end of it.

[skalie]

:(

[MAC]

I don't know what you've done but it's probably not too late to beg for forgiveness. :(

and maybe someone should have warned you about how once things settle down between you and a woman, she looses her golddarned mind. :mad:

hopefully, it's not that serious and it all works out....but if it doesn't work out, look on the bright side....you can swing through texas on your way home.

you know how to contact us texans :)

[Barbie]

I'm moving back home.

Dana decided to would be a good idea to go find love elsewhere. Whatever.

So, that's the end of it.

:(

I'm sorry to hear that C.

[PB]

WTF - is she mental??

Anywoman would be lucky to have you Piano... I hate to hear that and hope something works out for you...

[Mudflap]

Sorry P-dude. I hope you get over her quickly.

Better it happen now than after some years of marriage and a kid or two down the road.

Your next S.O. will be better than Dana. And her next S.O. will be less of man than you. There will be some comfort in that when you reach the "anger" phase. ;)

[Pianomahnn]

Yea. . .mac, SWING through texas on my way North? HA!!

I'm about 30% packed. I'd like to be home my midnight. But it's freaking raining, making the whole "moving boxes around outside" thing difficult.

Heres how I see things. I'll miss her because she's been an enormous part of my life for about 3.5 years. But that's it. I've thought many times about how my life could be better, on a path I alone chose. I think I'm glad it's over. Not that I dispised the relationship while it was going on, but because I'm finally free in my own decisions and I have noone to report to but myself.

Every now and then I feel like crying. But it doesn't come out. It's there. Whoa. . .a few tears fell. Shit. I've let you all down, this persona of masculine superiority has faltered. . .I best be banned from here!!

Mac, you and I need to start some sort of club (no mudflaps allowed, of course) but it should go beyond that. Perhaps a "women are freaking moronic" club. MAFM. Fear it.

This morning she said I'm a much better person than her. My genuine goodness is natural, whereas she has to try to be nice. I know this to be true. I've known this to be true. But I couldn't expect this. WTF.

Blah blah blah. . .I'm packing up my computer stuff now. I'll rap with y'all later.

[Pianomahnn]

She also said, "Two months ago if you had asked me to marry you I would. Now, I don't think I could say yes."

I guess it's a good thing I bought a $1500 bike instead of a ring. LOLZ! :D

[PB]

She also said, "Two months ago if you had asked me to marry you I would. Now, I don't think I could say yes."

I guess it's a good thing I bought a $1500 bike instead of a ring. LOLZ! :D

lol.. well that's a good way to look at it.. :laugh:

As for the :cry: and the sadness.. in my opinion.. tears are not a sign of weakness .. they are a sign of strength... (unless your a puss and cry like a baby daily). :D

I think that when a relationship ends.. there are mixed feelings.. you are sad.. you are mad... you are upset.. but relieved.. you are ready to be alone, but fear it at the same time.... hell i've been at a stage that i never wanted another relationship again, and now i can't imagine life without the one I have.... (Yes i love mudflap, i can't help it) .

I look forward to seeing where life takes you after this.. and you never know.. it may be one of the best things that ever happened to you.....

Val

[skalie]

So is she in the market for someone more sophisticated? If so, pm me her phone number.

[Pianomahnn]

So is she in the market for someone more sophisticated? If so, pm me her phone number.

She found that already. He's 36, a painter, and a vegetarian.

It'd be great if he turned out gay later on. :D

(Yes i love mudflap, i can't help it)
That's sick. ;)

[skalie]

She found that already. He's 36, a painter, and a vegetarian.


She left you for mordecai?

[jess]

sorry p-man
All relationships are life lessons.
Hope you find someone special later on.

[Torque]

Dammit. That bites.
I've been there, and the girl I stopped dating was the center of the universe at that time. Now she's just someone we hear from a few times a year, and we talk about our new families and kids. And Mrs. Torque is a billion times better than her. So, you probably lucked out in the long run, you just don't know it yet.

Get on home, bubba. Go find the next one. And get your dad to grill you somethin, you need the strength to go chase wimminz.

[mute]

I'm moving back home.

Don't worry you're not the only one. Hang in there chief,

[Pianomahnn]

And get your dad to grill you somethin, you need the strength to go chase wimminz.

You sure know how to cheer a fella up. :D

[MAC]

like you've got to rush home and pay bills or something

I'll be home next weekend, make yourself at home, polish off the scotch and jim beam and clean something you loser.

[PB]

like you've got to rush home and pay bills or something

I'll be home next weekend, make yourself at home, polish off the scotch and jim beam and clean something you loser.

Squash that...... come visit me, mudflap, minimud, and demon spawn... we'll keep you plenty busy with moving... MAC would be back before you know it...

[Cruise Director]

A week in Zion National Park to do some climbing and clear your head? Reservations at the Inn de Cruise are only a phone call away.

As for the painter.... FUCK that guy.
/buddychant

[Billyman]

Dang P-dude. Is this a bad time to call you a fag?

[Pianomahnn]

I'm home.

Lolz!

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Sorry to hear that Piano, but hey, on the bright side - you can go back to being one of my favorite bachelors. If you feel like crying you can lay your head on my breasts ;)

[Mudflap]

If you feel like crying you can lay your head <strike>on</strike> between my breasts ;)

;)

[Pianomahnn]

Sorry to hear that Piano, but hey, on the bright side - you can go back to being one of my favorite bachelors. If you feel like crying you can lay your head on my breasts ;)

How's about we just have a wild international style sex fest?

Er. . .thank you muffy, yer a good friend. :D

I see I've a few invites to see my fellow tribals. This really would be a good opportunity to visit you fine peoples. I don't have a job. . .but my credit card limit just got doubled!! :laugh:

[MAC]

step 1) look for a one-time job to make some hard cash

step 2) load your crap in the truck and hit the road

step 3) come visit tribals in texas for a week or so

step 4) go back home for holidays and start again with job/life

[Pianomahnn]

You've got it all figured out, boi.

I'm waiting on step 1.5 that says, "Quit job after winning millions of dollars in lottery payout."

[ms. bing]

you know, if you did come visit tejas i'm single too....
and cute, just ask billy!

[mute]

Feel free to visit Nova Scotia. But hurry cause the winter blows chuncks. Fall colors!

[MAC]

mute, you need to post some fall-color pics.

(texas has some ok colors but they take a month to get going and a month to fade so they never get real intense)

[Billyman]

you know, if you did come visit tejas i'm single too....
and cute, just ask billy!

I concur. She is very cute. Long flowing jet black hair, 4 foot nothing, pale skin………

Boi when I saw her I just wanted too……..

























Say hi and eat more of D’s dip, that stuff is the shiznit! :p

[Koliedrus]

I concur. She is very cute. Long flowing jet black hair, 4 foot nothing, pale skin………

Boi when I saw her I just wanted too……..

Ladies and Gentlemen, Billy as Lennie (http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/micemen/characters.html)!

http://hr.tamu.edu/whatsnew/applause.GIF ;)

As for you, Piano, that whole business about describing "hot" and actually burning one's hand now qualifies you as "experienced".

Hey! I think we have a couple of forums on here just for this type of thing!

Let some anger out with this (http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/madness_interactive) before you start slinging trash. Not like you'd do that or anything but it's a therapeutic rule-of-thumb. Or something.

Consider yourself fortunate that the only lawyer involved is a friend of yours who asks for nothing but friendship in return.

Unless, of course, you PM her and it turns into none-of-our-business. :D

Get busy! You have lessons to teach.

[jules]

<3

[Pianomahnn]

This sucks.

I do well for a while, and then I get all sad. Sunday morning we went for a nice walk at a nature sanctuary. . .Saturday night she, by her own words, "made love to me." Fucking hell. . .this sucks. I hate her for this, but still really love her.

Poop.

[mute]

:?

So you hooked up again?

[skalie]

er, nevermind

[Barbie]

P - come to Canada

[Pianomahnn]

:?

So you hooked up again?

No. . .we broke up Monday morning, 2am.

I was rehashing the previous day's activities.

[mute]

Oh, fuck ya it blows man, just get through the next couple weeks then you'll see. I'm just curious as why you moved away? Was it big plans with her? It's probably good to be home with the family.

Sometimes it's good to write it out, I find.

[Pianomahnn]

We had both planned on purusing graduate work at UKY. She had already been accepted, I had not. Turns out UKY didn't want someone in their grad program with an A average. . .whatever. I went along anyways. . .we were lovers and stuff. So, I hunted for tech jobs, and found shit all for nothing in lexington. Waited tables 40+ hours a week to pay bills so we would be allright.

Gah! Stupid fucking women.

[ms. bing]

in that case it sounds to me like this change does hold some promise, then. look at it this way, you're out of lexington, right? you can get on with your life now. you can find a good job, a graduate school that will accept you, or whatever you want anywhere you want it.
at least you're out of the hell that is waiting tables.

[Barbie]

women suck Pmahn. They really do.

[mute]

Girls........I dunno man. You put yourself in, what it seems, a pretty shitty position to be with her (which would actually cancel out the 'being in a shitty position' because you were with her). And after going through all the trouble to be with her she says, "Sorry, I can't do this." (or something like that)

It must be pretty fucking hard to deal with something like that. You went through 3 years with her (3 great years from what I get). And what for? What did it do for you? Where did it get you? It may seem pretty simple to some people, and they might say, "It's just a girl", but I know (or atleast I hope I do) where you're coming from. This could be one of the most depressing points in your life, I dunno. You think it may be easy to get over, but it's gonna hit you hard sometimes like you've stated already.

All you can do is look at the positive sides of things. You had a great time with her. 3 years, that's a long time with someone. Well I think atleast, you got it better than me, the longest I've ever gone is 2 months.

Chin up, and remember what some people would say, "It's just a girl."

There's more fish in the sea.

[Pianomahnn]

Yesterday was quite rough. Today hasn't started out much better.

I went to Hooters last night with a friend, Dan . .the waitresses name was Dana. . .feh. So, I was chatting it up with Dan about computer stuff, etc and out of the blue I almost lost it. I almost broke down at Hooters.

I got home. . .my parents were chillin and my mom asked how I was. I replied "not well" and just fell apart. We talked for a while but it doesn't really help with the pain. And that sucks. . .talking has always helped me. And it just isn't working.

I also called Dana last night. I realize I wasn't able to provide something to her that she truly needed. This need didn't present itself again until she had found it being fulfilled by someone else. I trust that her decision was difficult, and she had a horrible time coming to that conclusion. I could hear it in her voice and feel it from her tears. But she made that decision, and I hate her for it. I told her so, and she was understanding of my hatred.

I love her and miss her so much.

This is my first broken heart . . . and I never want to feel this way again.

[Mudflap]

I remember my 1st broken heart. I don't envy what you're feeling right now and I totally empathize with you.

I know this does zilch to make you feel better right now, but let me tell you that the heartache and depression WILL fade with time. Its kinda like a cold virus. You have to suffer for a bit while your body fights off the infection and repairs itself.

Hang in there and don't worry about teh wimminz for a while. And do NOT blame yourself for not being able to provide Dana with what she "needs." What wimmin "need" changes like the weather and eventually you find a good one that isn't looking for some fictional soap opera character and will love and appreciate everything you have to offer.

I'd bet good money that someday she'll be telling painter guy how he doesn't meet her "needs" either.

[skalie]

need?

[Barbie]

Have you seen the Episode of That 70’s Show just after Eric and Donna break up?

“Newmann” from Sienfeld plays an Angel that takes Eric back in the past and then through the “What if” stage.

The What If’s started as a “What if we never hooked up” but at the end Eric pretended to be “who cares” “too many bad memories” so when the Angel says, okay, we’ll just take away ALL the memories, Eric finally decides (and it sounds corny) that there are far more great memories that out weigh all the bad ones…and it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Memories aren’t easy to keep, the can slip away slowly, and anger helps to distort the true memory, but the one thing going for you Pmahn, is that they are yours to treasure and to share if you want. Keep them with you always because they help shape who you will be in the future and then you will be thankful for those memories.

They have already helped shape who you are today, and there a lot of people in your life (and at THT) that are thankful for who they have made you today.

[Skeet]

Woah woah owah, I don't know what she told you about me, but I am NOT a painter.

Stop by anytime on your way south.

<5

[Pianomahnn]

Long story short (cuz I'm horribly exausted) the guy she thought could fulfill some void in her life only wanted to get her all naked and sexed up. She said no, and has since realized the horrible error of her ways.

I'm staying here. I'm finding a job and going to get my MBA (I hope) and we'll work through things long distance style.

We loved each other too much, and there was some real emotional drama going on that I never explained here. She made a decision on a mind that was very unstable. I made a rash decision to just up the fuck out and leave without really talking things through with her.

I'm cautious, yet. We'll find out, I suppose.

[Billyman]

What isn’t being said or talked about or asked is:

What did you do wrong p-dude?

Maybe nothing at all, perhaps something, maybe there was just something “needed” you could not provide.

Bullshit.

I’ve never come out of a relationship whether the ending be by my hands or theirs that I wasn’t wrong somewhere. The problem existed in two forms. One was stubbornness on either my behalf, on her behalf or both our halves. The second is a derivative of that and is lack of communication. The term “irreconcilable differences” is the same as “we’re too stupid to talk to one another”.

This leads to no ONE certain person at fault. It took two to tango and it takes two to get tangled up and fall. There’s nothing to beat yourself up about but I think one should analyze what they did or may have done wrong and learn from it. Take this new information with you. Apply what you’ve learned into the next relationship you engage in.

I swear to you, I have fucked up more times than I can count on fingers and toes BUT, with each trip and fall, I learned a new move in the dance called love and relationship. I sit here today, more content than I ever have been with a woman in my entire life. I’ve chosen to take several paths with this woman. I am now and I will always be her best friend. I am now and will always be her lover. I believe in total communication. I look deep within her soul on a daily basis and thus far she has returned the favor on every account.

Getting to this place, this wonderful world I am in was no easy task I assure you. I had to trip and fall a number of times before I found this place. And although most of those falls were painful ones, I’m glad they hurt. That hurt helped me find my happiness.

Hurt Chris, you need too. Get mad, you’re going to anywayz. Then reflect on it all later.

If all else fails, get a goat.

[Asmodeus]

Billyman's whooped. :)

[Torque]

Dammit. I was going to step in and help when he got to where he would cuss about her and make fun of her.

I dunno. The fact remains that she'd ditch you for someone else. Just because that someone else didnt work out, it doesnt change that fact.

Keep that in mind, bubba. You aren't a little dog that's always happy to see it's master no matter where they've been.

[Mudflap]

What would Mudflap do?
Laugh at the tragic irony Realize that TRUST is gone from the last relationship Get on with my life w/out her Date MANY MANY other chicks Pursue my own goals w/out making concessions for a chick that would dump me for a loser Break my heart once, shame on you! Break my heart twice, shame on ME

[Torque]

Damn straight. After that, I wouldn't trust her as far as my cat could throw her. Which, while in your heartbroke fool mode you might think won't be a problem, but it will. Get a new one.

Mud is wise. And I'm no dumbass.

Get out there and meet some ladies. You'll do yourself a real and grave disservice if you go dragging back to that one. There's lots of em, and theres a few that wont ditch you for a good time, and come crawling back when it wasnt good enough. That one's no good, no matter what sort of excuses she comes up with, or what sort of excuses you come up with for what she did. You wouldn't do that to a woman, don't accept one that would do it to you.

And you reacted appropriately by leaving on the dot. No reason to stick around like a sap.

[Pianomahnn]

You wouldn't do that to a woman, don't accept one that would do it to you.

Only I would, and I did it to her when I was away at ISU. I broke it off for a few days only to realize I was a fool. That was two years ago.

No one is perfect, and I'd be a moron to think I could find someone that is. In my reader's digest version I left out many details. I'm not certain if they would make a difference in your opinions, though.

However, you guys may be right. We'll find out eventually, I suppose.

[Torque]

I'd rather be wrong in this case :)

Hopefully I am.

Best wishes either way,

Torque

[MAC]

hmmmm

I'm glad you two are back together. I hope it works out.

all I'll add is this:

There are things you CAN do, things you NEED to do and things you WANT to do.

If you don't know which one this is try to do the other two with out it.

I hope that's cryptic enough to be useful.

BTW: breaking down at hooters is NOTHING to be ashamed of....hot chics and over priced chicken wings? it's genius.....I should have thought of it :cry:

[Koliedrus]

Anything I can add about past relationships, first broken heart, recovery, holes left in tables when nails are removed and scars from wounds that eventually heal have already been covered.

Judging from the responses, we've all been through it. That doesn't lessen the trauma any more than losing a limb and being cheered up by a group of recovered amputees.

Now that you know that you're in good company, take the knowledge of our empathy to heart.

I speak only for myself when I say that you don't need to provide daily reports on the physical situation but information about what's going on inside of you are now mandatory. I'm not being nosy; I give a shit.

You've chosen Reconciliation. That's admirable. It's also difficult. The relationship has always seemed to be "special" so it deserves to progress accordingly, even if that means that you eventually part as friends or have grandchildren together.

Keep going. You're human.

[skalie]

At least she didn't shag him.

[ms. bing]

eeee...ahhh...i'm always wary about long distance relationships while one or both parties are in college.
wanna know why?
because i increasingly find that the great guys i meet who seem like they may be someone i could stand to date end up revealing to me within a few weeks that they have a "REAL" SO back home, and just want someone to have fun with while at school.
it has become absolutely epidemic, i'm telling you. these guys are all fun, mostly responsible in other aspects of their lives, and graduate students or soon-to-be graduate students, very smart and also very engaged or hooked up.
i'm not saying you will become one of those guys, but from what i understand it works the other way, too. at some point you have to hang up the phone and go see what's going on around you at the school you are in, and that's when these things usually happen. they meet someone (me) and think it would be ok to have someone to just have fun (sex) with, but because they are overall pretty nice people (jerks) they end up telling the truth (confessing their guilty conscience) about the person (poor fool) back home.
don't do the long distance relationship while in school. i know you both want it to work out, but if you can stay in touch and be friends while dating other people and deciding if it really is each other that you can't live without, then there is no rule saying you can't come back together after college and get married and start having babies.
stay friends. doesn't anybody stay friends anymore? so what if you've seen each other naked. you both grew up with cable and the internet. you've seen lots of people naked, you don't feel like you owe them anything, do you?

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Bing pretty much summed up my thoughts. If the two of you are meant to be together, as in the kind of relationship that will survive come hell and high water, then a break from eachother should be no impediment to that. At the moment you both sound (no offence intended) a bit confused about eachother. Give eachother some space, play the field if thats what you have to do, then re-evaluate your feelings for eachother when your perspective is clearer.

Of course I know you're going to completely ignore that advice. Good luck. I know you have your eyes open. My breasts will still be here when you need them :p

[Pianomahnn]

Well. . .she has the concerns that it's not healthy and would continue it's unhealthy decline.

She said on the phone that she probably just doesn't love me the same as I love her. It's true, I'm certain of it. I would never do this to her. . .not now.

But, it's over again. And this time I think it's for real.

I need to take things from this. I need to grow from this. But it's going to be hard. I've been in a funk. . .not eating much, feeling very unsettled, and that needs to stop. I can't go on with my life in this manner. It's simply not healthy from a spiritual and physical state.

I don't like how she did this. It was cruel. There was not apparent decline in love, or compassion, or emotional desires. It just ended. I told her on the phone that I wish we would just break up a few months down the road after it got worse. . .it should be easier that way.

It's difficult not known what she's doing right now. Where she's at, where she's going to be. I've known everything about her for 3.5 years. Well. . .I suppose everything but what caused this to end.

I truly wish I understood where she was coming from. But I don't. I don't comprehend how she can still say she loves me and cares for me but doesn't want this to be. I don't understand how she feels this was an unhealthy relationship. There were never hurtful words. There were never arguments. But it is what it is. Acceptence is key. . .but it's hard.

I think I felt this coming over the past few days. We had our "getting back together" phone call, and that was dandy. But the conversations following were not so. They were filled with uncertainty and resentment about what was going on. Today, she called, and claimed nothing was up. But I heard it in her voice. I knew something was wrong. But she didn't want to say anything. She didn't want to hurt me. Heh. . .not wanting to hurt me is what got us here in the first place. She knew something was missing a while ago, but neglected to mention it. She carried on hoping it would go away, but it didn't. And now I'm left with this. Abrupt endings dont go well with me. But it's life, and I need to grow from it.

It's time like these I wish I weren't so genuine, so compassionate, so loving. Times like these I were a womanizer. . .a person with no feelings or cares for the women I was with. But that's not the case. I know it's better for the long run I'm a respectful person.

I'm blabbering. . .so, bleh. I need to find a fuckbuddy.

[jess]

At least you gave it one more try. If you hadn't, you both might have went on wondering "what might have been". Learn from the experience.
Take a good look in the mirror and analize yourself. I'm not saying you were to blaim, but sometimes it helps to take a long look at yourself and think if there was anything you could've done differently. And if not, then you can look back and think, "this really wasn't my fault." And that alone should make you feel good about who you are.
The world truly needs more men like you, more that ARE compasionate, caring and loving. Just so happens this woman either wasn't the one for you or she just didn't appreciate it, or both.
She will probably be with many jerks from here on out, and every time she will wish she had you back. By then it will be too late, but eventually she will get it.
Now, go find that fuckbuddy. :D

[Barbie]

I need to find a fuckbuddy.

I married my fuckbuddy

Turned out, he was my *ONE*


Pmahn...we really care about you.

How are you doing today?

[skalie]

Take a good look in the mirror and analize yourself.

Do what?

[PB]

Better now than another 3.5 years from now when it would be so much worse..

I was actually going to suggest the F-buddy.... find some chick who has recently had her heart broken, be honest with her about what you want out of it.. and enjoy it for what it is... but be honest.. no one wants to be lied to.

Go out and have fun.. after all .. any kind of buddy isn't going to come and just find you. (and if they did, I'd be leary) :)

The heart is a funny thing...and add the emotions that go along with it when it breaks, and all kinds of confusion is added into the equation. I remember when my heart felt like it would never love another... I remember that helpless feeling of not knowing what to do with myself because myself didn't involve my "ex" anymore. Wanting to call and ask, where are you and when will you be here type of thing... but there is a good thing about the heart.. it is still close to the brain... and we've seen yours and know that both are good... The best thing for your heart.... Time..

One day, just like me, you'll look back and kind of snicker at what you are feeling now. When that true "one" is with you all the stuff now seems meaningless since it was so far from the love you feel at that time...

I still speak with my ex on a fairly regular basis.. I will never "forget" the pain I experiences because of him... but in a way, I am thankful that I had to experience it all at the same time.. or I wouldn't be where I am now.. and where I am now, is where I always want to be...

Sometimes you have to fall off the horse to truely appreciate the beauty of riding it.

PB

[jess]

oh shit, well I spelled it wrong.
I mean analyze.

[Pianomahnn]

Take a good look in the mirror and analize yourself. I'm not saying you were to blaim, but sometimes it helps to take a long look at yourself and think if there was anything you could've done differently. And if not, then you can look back and think, "this really wasn't my fault." And that alone should make you feel good about who you are.


It never was my fault. I am the perfect boyfriend in every respect. What she wanted, these intellectual conversations about books and art, I simply couldn't provide though. It wasn't who I was, nor who I was going to be. I really wanted to try. . .but she didn't want me to.


She will probably be with many jerks from here on out, and every time she will wish she had you back.

She's dated nothing but jerks before me. She's said so before. When I was much less accepting of the breakup, I tried to explain this to her. And it seemed like I had rationalized to her that even though there was something I couldn't provide, everything else I did would make up for it. 99 out of 100 is a pretty good score. . .but I guess it wasn't good enough.

One thing I am really worried about is finding someone who will be as accepting of me as she was. Granted, she wanted this one extra thing, but I was able to truly be WHO I was around her. I never feard her giving me a bad look, or disapproving of my actions. I appreciated that, and I told her so.

Hmmmmm. . .I'm going to my parents cabin this weekend. My brother, mom, and dad will be there. I hope it's a good time.

Shit. . .this post is making me somewhat sad. Damn you people making me write stuff!! :p

[jess]

It never was my fault. I am the perfect boyfriend in every respect.


99 out of 100 is a pretty good score. . .but I guess it wasn't good enough.

One thing I am really worried about is finding someone who will be as accepting of me as she was.

Ok, you know it wasn't your fault, so that's one thing to feel good about.

If it wasn't good enough for her, that's her loss. I know you've heard that before, but had to say it anyway.

You will find someone that accepts you for you, and if they don't then they do not deserve to have you.

Have fun with your family this weekend. Nothing helps hard times like family.

[MAC]

I am sorry to hear this.
Pity that no amount of sorrow seems to kill us.
It would be greatly relieving if the things we feel so strongly held the same emminent physical consequence as the things we do.
Unfortunately you will wake up tomorrow, and tomorrow will do what it will.

BTW: if you write a top-10 country song because of "some girl" I will never speak to you again.

[Pianomahnn]

I'd only write it if you were my backup banjo player. :)

[Pianomahnn]

I edited this thread's icon.

I feel this is a good thing. I'm doing quite well currently. This may change. . .I expect it to. But all seems well as of now.

[Billyman]

You'll go through all the emotions several times over. It’s part of coping. In time, the open wounds will be scars to live by. Regardless……….you’re gonna be o.k.

Yesterday, today…tomorrow………………….you’re still just a fag.

[ms. bing]

"What she wanted, these intellectual conversations about books and art, I simply couldn't provide though."

she wanted what?
ok, i'm going to step way out of line here and tell you a little woman's secret. when a woman says it's over because you don't have conversations about art, or because you don't take her ballroom dancing, or don't appreciate fine wine, what she really saying is...
She's Just Not That Into You.

obviously she was into you, but it kinda a catch-all excuse for breaking up. what it means is that you're not what she's looking for. i can guarantee that what she's looking for isn't into books and art, but she probably, from the sound of it, has some bad-boy issues she needs to work out (don't we all *groan*).
anyway, you can simply sum up her inexplicable breakup to her own idealistic search for the "perfect man" of her dreams. she'll never find him, and in the end she'll either decide to stay single or settle for common courtesy and close-enough. she better just hope close-enough is anywhere near as close as she will someday realize you were, and she better hope that it's not ten times worse than what she had envisioned, which is probably something really nasty.
my advice: watch some movies where shit gets blown up and women are either androgynous badasses or treated as stage props. works for me every time.
Tarantino movie marathon, anyone?

[sauron]

I've been in a funk. . .not eating much, feeling very unsettled, and that needs to stop. I can't go on with my life in this manner. It's simply not healthy from a spiritual and physical state.

On a brighter note (which you've already found) - you'll loose weight, trim up and look way hot for the next girl...

That's what happened with my girlfriend, before we got together - 'course, she didn't know at the time what she was getting herself into, poor lass...


- d.

[MuffyTheVampyreLayer]

Pman - I don't know if this will make you feel better or not but I once read an article that concluded (after much study) that most relationship that work are not successful because both parties behaved like the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, the worked because both parties were in the same place mentally and both were ready to settle down and commit. What I took from that article was that there is no point in analyzing what you could have done differently (unless you were a cunt, which clearly isn't the case here). You're a top guy pman - any girl would be bloody lucky to have you. I don't think you could have made this turn out differently - it sounds like Dana simply wasn't the right girl at the right time.

*Hugs*

[Pianomahnn]

Life is good. I'm feeling fine.

I had a dream the other night. . .Dana was standing around, in her undies, she wasn't talking, but her voice was there asking, "What are you going to do?" I responded with (something thereabouts), "I'm going to move on and find me someone better."

I'm getting over the "not knowing where she is or what she's doing" feeling. It pops up every now and then, but it's a minute amount compared to what it was two weeks ago.

I'm over it. And it feels good. :)

[Mudflap]

I'm over it. And it feels good. :)


Actually, you're not.

But I'm glad to hear that some of the pain is gone.

[Koliedrus]

Mud's right. The the fact that she was in a dream is significant.

If the dream really went the way you say it did (I'm betting you left some stuff out but I won't press), you're dealing on a subconsious level. The situation is still new so having her pop into your dream is expected.

What you want to focus on is maintaining control of the subconscious aspect.

In other words, if you get into a new relationship and accidentally say her name while "things" are going on, that's it. Either have an explanation ready (thereby baring your soul and the consequences that entails) or do the Rodeo.

Rodeo = holding on until she bucks you off. Sorry, no clowns will rush in to save you.

No, it's never happened to me like that. I've been called by other first names at stressful times, though. It's an argument stopper.

It's also a place from which you can move on with your partner. It all depends on how able you are to do so.

Children happen because people get over their past.

I shut up now.
You translate however you see fit.

[Barbie]

Dreams are dress rehersals to reality.


~Sigmound Freud

aka...coke whore

[Koliedrus]

Played a game recently? Is the term "Pixel Prostitute" still undefined?

At least druggies had to use their imagination back then.

Be careful with the dreams. They'll tell you a lot.

[Koliedrus]

In fact, I just had a waking dream about waffles.

My kids have gooe reason to be afraid. They just don't know it yet.

See ya after the final tally.

[mute]

Pmahnn, find some pals and go get a lap dance from a fine looking lady at a strip joint.

[Pianomahnn]

Well, I've effectively kept the lot of you out of my personal endeavors for the past month. I suppose that's a good thing. . .or not. Regardless, after a most recent incident, I've come to some conclusions about life and what it was I indeed was searching for.

After about a month of mere conversing over the phone and through this internet, Dana and I decided to, once again foolishly, try things out. It appeared to me all long that wanted to be with her, it made sense to me, I felt I loved her. She claimed this and she claimed that last Friday when we met while she was in town for the holiday. Yada yada yada, she loved me and wanted to be with me forever and I was what she was searching for in life.

Fast forward to this evening, where she concludes all this bullshit, interjected with tearful phrases of more bullshit, and we have a once again single me. While on the phone, I think I concluded that it wasn't her specifically which I desired, it was simply the feeling of being loved and needed. I could sense this as truth because it wasn't phasing me much that we were once again no longer together. My feelings were rather void in regards to that. That's probably a good thing. . .or it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks in a few days. I'd like to think it's the first. . .

So, she really want to be with me, but feels it would never last, even if we tried. Well, I tried, and she didn't. She was weak. She's just all confused about life and she fucked up a great relationship. Ha on her. . .my life is getting on. I'm going to start a career, I'm going to save money, I'm going to buy a house. I'm going to do things with my life I couldn't before. I feel free. . .and that's good.

Certainly my outlook on this current situation is significantly different than it was last month. Indeed, I feel much better about the whole thing. I suppose all I really needed was to get used to being alone, as it were, and accept this as my current situation. I hopped back in with her because it was a quick fix to a horrible feeling inside. Even now, though, after typing all of this, I'm hardly moved to emotional distress. My arm hurts a little, but that's from bowling tonight.

I got to thinking when I was phone with her tonight, and this was the only time I was close to emotional distress, about all the things her and I had planned in the future. It was sad in a way, really. These were things I truly wanted in life; a nice house, some cute lil' rugrats, and some other misc. things. Well, I'm fairly certain, hell I'm positive, that I can have all those with someone else. It's simply a matter of time, and I'm only 23. I've got a lot of time left in my life to get that stuff done.

I'm also going to a party on Saturday. This may seem odd to some of you, or not, I don't care. But I've never really gone to a "party" like this. Well. . .my freshman year of highschool I did, but I didn't get drunk. Anyways. . .I don't plan on getting drunk here either, it's not my style, but I'll letting myself loose like I haven't done for almost 4 years. Hell, I may just find me a piece of college ass. That's some good stuff, I do believe. I guess. . .well, I'll get to be a wild guy for a while. Maybe not. That's not my style. But I certainly won't feel the need to restrain myself as much now that I'm single and not having to withhold some of these emotions or desires. It's not wrong of me to just want some good ol' attachment free sex, is it? I didn't think so.

At this point I'm merely blabbering about this and that. I suppose I just felt like writing what came to mind, and that wins. I should do this more often, but maybe with someone in real life, as you fuckers aren't around right now. Speaking of which. . .the lot of you need to come up to Chicago and hang out with me. Now. We'll have a kick ass time. . .do some BBQ'n or something.

With that, I leave you with a message: I thought I had found an emotionally stable woman to spend my life with. It turns out I was wrong, and in fact ALL women are wacked out. This I need to accept. :-p

Peace.

[mute]

I'm heading to Chicago and we're getting some lap dances.

[Cruise Director]

Lot's of advice on "do this and do that" but what it boils down to is love. It will make you do foolish things and sometimes it will rake you over the coals. In a few years you'll look back and think you were stupid for giving so many chances but following your heart is something you have to do.

[Pianomahnn]

I need not a few years to realize my stupidity. I know this already.

But you're indeed correct; love will make one do foolish things. At least now I can go into it with the knowledge gained from this experience. I'm all the wiser, and that's a good thing. :)