homesick

[mute]

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[Cruise Director]

Believe it or not, you and I are in similar situations. You just did it a few years earlier than I did. My fears ran the other direction, though. I was scared to death to leave and now know it was the best decision of my life.

The feelings never entirely go away. You find other things to take up your time and you find that the homesickness subsides and pings at you less and less. It took me about a month before I really didn't notice it anymore.

Hang in there, Pat.... it will get better.

(And yes, you do need to keep starting threads. :) )

[jess]

I know what you mean.
I recently moved 6 hours away from my family and friends.
I love it here, don't regret moving at all. But... I get homesick quite often.
When you are use to being 15 minutes away from your family, it takes a little getting use to not having that anymore.

[MAC]

conversely, I only get that homesick feeling when I have to go back to my house.

[mute]

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[Cruise Director]

You're going to be amazed when you go home for the summer. That's when dis-enchantment with "home" begins. While you have been away learning, growing and pursuing your interests, the friends and family you left will be stuck in the same routines as the day you took leave of them. Nothing at home ever changes. While that has a bit of an appeal, you will find that you have outgrown a lot of it and can't wait to get away again.

[sauron]

I moved away from home at the age of 16 - the first 2 weeks were the hardest weeks I've had (sort of my suicidal 3 month stint in college), even though I went home for a weekend after the first week...

Once I realised the freedom I had - and started becoming independant, things slowly changed.

When I then, 4 years later, moved 6000 miles away to go to college (in MN), I had another weeks-to-month long bout of homesickness.. Somehow, it gets easier and easier to deal with as I went along.

At this point (many years later), I've done so much moving, that I rarely get homesick anymore - since I've adopted the motto of "Home is where you hang your hat".


- d.

[Barbie]

I just want to say, Mute: congrats on getting to TO.
Make is work. I know how hard it is in TO.
You can do it.
It's a breeze.
That, and with all the partying that went on Tuesday night, how can you not feel proud to be CANADIAN.

ps. Canadian chicks have big boobs.

[Barbie]

You come for a visit and I'll take you skiing

Latitude: 51° 05' North
Longitude: 114° 05' West

[ms. bing]

i left home to go to austin when i was 19. it was hard. dad cried while he was helping me pack, and then i started crying, and you know how that goes. but it was like cruise said. at first i was going home on weekends. then it was less and less. eventually it turned into once a year. i outgrew home. although i found that things at home did not stay the same, and that was hard. it was hard to believe that while i was away, growing and changing, the people at home were doing the same thing.
mac got married and had a daughter. friends got married and had families, one friend's father died. mac got divorced and his daughter moved far away. i was left wishing i had spent more time with her. i felt i had been away during the years when i most wished i had been there. but the thing i learned was that the time away was necessary. think about this: how different would you be if you didn't go back in the fall? what do you think you stand to gain by staying? what will you learn, besides the necessaries of your field? independance: things like how to budget your money, how to grocery shop, how to take care of yourself when you're sick and do your own laundry. all these things are so necessary for the change from child to adult. and you are doing it in fine style.
let me tell you something about film and video games: you can make a film anywhere. just ask the coen brothers. the reason most people go to the film hubs is to make connections and get money. that's the proviso: you can make a film anywhere, but you must have the money and connections to do so. so don't think you are leaving home forever, but it may be many, many years before you are in a position to return. when you do, you may be able to put your little town on the map. it will be better for having it's native son return and make it his home.
no matter where you go, you will always be from Nova Scotia. tell people that with pride. it's one thing you will always have. hold your head high during these weeks of home sickness, and know you are doing your home a great service.
you'll be the best thing to come out of Nova Scotia since whale blubber.

[Barbie]

psst: Whale Blubber comes from Newfie-land/Labrador
The pride of Nova Scotia is Alexander Keith's. "Angus! bring-me-d' bagpipes!"

Ms. Bing is right. Be proud.

[Barbie]

http://www.keiths.ca/k_main/k_main_flash.htm

[mute]

http://www.trailerparkboys.com/

[Barbie]

good point

[mute]

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[ms. bing]

Soliere. that was his name.
oh, yes, God is rolling up there in heaven. at all of us.
you are going to meet some fabulous girls at school. especially after you stop being a homesick freshman and have lasted out all your classmates who are going to book it home after the first year. once you have all those losers weeded out, you are going to be the man.
last night i was on monster looking at job opportunities because i graduate soon. here in the states graphic artists are in great demand. especially in the cities where everyone wants to live. now, they don't make the salaries of rocket scientists, but then again your art isn't going into space, is it? (not yet, at least). on monster there were a large number of listings for video game designers in austin, which is one of the coolest places to live (not temperately, it actually stays warm there pretty much all year). and they make pretty decent money.
your professor was trying to weed out the losers. all you have to do is not be one of them. and a professor of mine and i were talking a few months ago about the highschool to college experience and the end of the long distance relationships. he said that there should be a law that states that when you graduate from highschool and prepare to leave for college, it should be mandatory that you have to break up with whatever significant other you have had at home. just get off the phone and get out and meet the people in the environment of your school.
i think the best is yet to come for our mute.

[Asmodeus]

You get used to being homesick. I'll have to admit, I get a kick in the chest once every few years, but, I have learned how to compensate- move even further away...hehe. Seriously, it is merely a stage in the developement of human maturity- everyone goes thru it- unless you stay at home for the rest of your life.

Koodoes for skool. Good luck to ya.

[mute]

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[mute]

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[sauron]

Do yourself a favor, and see if you can get through the depression with the help of a therapist, instead of going on meds.

Yes, there are times when medication is the best choice - but it's always worth trying w/o.


- d.

[MAC]

If you go out into the world as a young man and find that you have a problem...where do you think the problem came from?

It came from the place you just ran back to.

If I had to give you the very best advice I could think of, i'd tell you to absolutely positively NOT go home.
Infact, stop calling it home. It's not your home anymore.

go make your own home

go make your own family

go make your own life

Stop thinking that what you had when you where 16 or 17 is your life and your home
it's not. Nothing tangible or physical that you had then will help you to move ahead into being a responsible, independant adult.

If there is ANYTHING you want out of the rest of your very long life (realistic or not) I can promise you you WILL NOT find it in your parent's house.

[Mudflap]

I dropped out of college after 3 semesters and went back home.

Well, it was a town in the neighboring county, I rented a house with a buddy of mine, and got a job in construction. After a few months of that, I couldn't wait to get back to school.

So I went back.

[ms. bing]

this thing happened to me.
when i left home and moved to austin, for a few months nothing i did felt real. it was all fun and everything, but the life i had left behind in east texas was my real life.
being the escapist i was, i was trying my best not to go back to it.
same thing happened after i divorced my husband. lasted for almost a year. i would go visit him, and being there in that house with that lunatic felt like my real life. the other life was fun and sane and safe, but it never felt real. didn't get over that one until after i was pregnant. suddenly it wasn't real because there was another person in the equation who had nothing to do with him. but anyway....
now, believe it or not, i feel like i'm in the same boat. see, mute, it works the same way when you leave school as it did when you went in. after 2 to 4 years, it's hard to imagine leaving those hallowed halls for "real life". it seems like an insult to everything you went through and all the work you did all those years....
sound familiar yet?
nobody is doubting that you were happy at home with family and friends and nobody is doubting that you did a lot of worthwhile stuff there. but that is not the only "real" life you can have. the stuff at school is just as real.
as for the depression, i'm sorry and i don't mean to minimalize, but i've been reading your stuff for a while now, and i know you're very capable of being melodramatic.
sure you didn't dramatize this all up in your mind a little bit?

[Cruise Director]

I'm living a weird, double-edged sword type of existence. On one hand I really miss the social interaction of the bigger town and my friends and family. On the other I really enjoy my house, my job and the new location. I get homesick everday but it passes. Once I find a girlfriend down here, I'm sure that will go away.

I hope.

[mute]

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